Her arms tightened around his neck, and her body pressed against him as she kissed him back, but he felt a gaping sense of loss when the words didn’t come. What words, he didn’t know, but knew in his gut that he was missing something of such importance—
Then Ana’s soft voice echoed in his mind. Mine to you. Yours to me. Bonded by blood, by spirit and by soul, we are one. No distance too far, no enemy too powerful, no sacrifice too great. I will always find you. I will always keep you safe. No matter what the cost. I am yours as you are mine.
God, yes.
A sense of such absolute rightness coursed through Elijah. He clutched her tightly against him, kissing her, drinking in the taste of her mouth, the unbelievable feel of her body pressed up against his, of her hands wrapped behind his neck, holding him as if she’d never let him go.
You make me whole, he whispered, touching her mind, startled at the stark need he felt in her, and even more startled by his own craving that was rising hard and hot within him, called to life by her.
Suddenly all Elijah could think about was getting closer to her, touching her, kissing her…all of her. His hands slid to Ana’s hips as he dropped his head to the side of her neck and scraped his teeth against her skin, kissing along her collarbone. She dropped her head back to give him access, a soft moan slipping past her lips.
Heat hit hard between his legs, and he was erect and ready. I need to be inside you.
God, yes. Her heartfelt response was so full of desperate anticipation that his legs started to shake and his stomach muscles trembled. He needed her. Needed more of her. Needed to bond them so tightly until they were one.
He returned to her mouth, kissing her hard, driving deep as he slid his hands past the waistband of her jeans…then he froze as he became aware of the sound of satisfied murmurs, the fierce congratulations and the smacking of high fives.
The Order was all around them.
Elijah swore and pulled his hand out of Ana’s pants, his gut tightening when she made a small protest and clung to him. Desire raged hot inside him, and he kissed her again, gripping her hips so tightly he feared he was leaving bruises, but he couldn’t help himself. Couldn’t deny his need for her—
“Welcome back, Elijah.” A hand slapped hard on his shoulder, and he gasped at the agony that shot through him. Suddenly every wound he’d received started screaming with pain, and his left leg gave out on him. Ana caught him as he crashed to the floor, and she fell on top of him as he hit the steel.
Damn. That hurt like hell.
He wrapped his arms around her, stared up at the guys and suddenly grinned as disbelief shot through him. Holy crap! He could see them, every bloody inch of them. His head was clear, and he had his shit together again. He saw faces he hadn’t been able to see. All around him was his team. Gideon and his damn blue eyes. Kane with all his scars. Thano’s insolent smile. Ryland’s bitter mug that still looked like he was on the hate parade. Ian…shit, Ian, still looked like hell, his eyes still haunted by the loss of his sheva. Gabe, Zach, and…Elijah looked at Quinn, and grinned at the sight of the man who’d stood by him for so many centuries. Damn, man, he was back!
Elijah started laughing, his body shaking with the relief that he was all there, that he could see, that he recognized them, that he was back. It felt fucking awesome, even as every breath made him hurt so intensely he felt the room spin. God, it felt good to feel pain like a normal male.
Kane frowned down at him. “Shit. He’s lost it again.”
“Fuck off, man. I’m all good.” He grabbed Ana’s shoulders to move her off him so he could get up, and then he saw her face.
He went still, overwhelmed by his first sight of the woman he hadn’t been able to see until that moment. She was frowning down at him, and her eyes were like the silver of the full moon out in the desert, when there was nothing between a man and the magnificence of all existence. There was such stark desire on her face, but at the same time, her eyes ached with a lifetime of torment, of so much pain, guilt, suffering so deep it scarred the soul. “Ana,” he whispered.
“Elijah.” She smiled then, a smile that didn’t lighten the weight in her eyes, but a warm smile that seemed to reach inside his heart and tear him away from the doom trying to consume him.
Her hair was tousled in thick black curls over her shoulders, and he picked up a lock of it, rubbing it between his thumb and index finger. So fucking soft. “You’re my angel, aren’t you?”
“Oh, no, not even close.” Sadness flickered through her eyes. “I wish I were.”
Her skin was a soft golden hue that looked like it had been kissed by the sun, her cheekbones were delicate and lovely…and still there were scars. Faded bruises. A haunted pain lurking deep in her eyes. Elijah’s exuberance faded as he thumbed the raw scar on her cheek, and he felt a fierce anger swell inside him.
The anger wasn’t the fury of insanity that had consumed him earlier. Instead, it was the possessive protective surge of a Calydon for his mate. But even as his need to protect her rose swiftly, so did a deep revulsion. Not just revulsion…it was fear…terror…debilitating panic…
Her forehead puckered into a frown, and she touched his face. “Elijah? What’s wrong?”
He shook his head, trying to breathe through the sudden attack of fear. Images flashed in his mind. Tormenters in black robes, faces in shadows, then he saw her face in his mind, one of his tormentors. “Son of a bitch.” His reaction was being caused by his proximity to her.
Yet, at the same time, with her body still wrapped around him, her scent curling through his senses, her heart beating against his chest, he could feel the cobwebs on his brain clearing. The panic, the terror…it was there…but it wasn’t consuming him. Dormant, yeah. Waiting for her to release him again, yeah, but not controlling him. He tightened his grip on her, realizing that she was his link to mental clarity, yet at the same time she brought him closer to the demons haunting him. “What the fuck’s going on?”
Ana gave him a look that was almost apologetic. “It appears that touching me keeps you sane, but I think I also trigger some memories that aren’t good.”
Her voice was so soft, so sensual, and he was shocked when he felt his groin tighten. How could he crave the woman that caused his nightmares? How could the woman his entire soul screamed for, the one being alive who gave him peace, also be the woman who could condemn him to his doom?
“Sheva bond,” Gideon said, squatting beside him. “It’s powerful shit, trust me.”
Elijah tensed as Gideon leaned over him, his adrenaline spiking in response to the threatening position by a warrior. Elijah’s forearm tingled as his throwing star readied itself for another battle. “Back off.” He kept his voice quiet. In control. Trying to hide the panic crawling over him, trying to stop the rising apprehension. He knew Gideon wasn’t his enemy, but suddenly he felt like he was… Gideon was a threat. Dangerous.
Ana cocked her head and studied him, and Elijah felt a trickle of sweat work its way down his temple as the demons started to circle. He willed himself not to attack Gideon, but his body was coiled, and he could feel himself readying to strike.
Without a word, Ana draped herself across his chest and pressed her lips to his throat. Heat rushed through Elijah, and his rising panic subsided. He groaned and slipped his hands under her shirt, wrapping his arms around her back and holding her tight against him. The moment he felt Ana’s skin against his, Elijah knew once again that Gideon was his friend. Not a threat.
Shit. He was fucked up. Couldn’t tell friend from foe unless he was feeling up Ana?
Ana.
Flashes of pain and torture began crowding his mind, and his body began to shake.
“Shit.” Gideon stood up. “He’s snapping again.”
“No. I’m not.” Elijah could tell the difference. He was being stalked by the nightmares, but he wasn’t losing his mind. With Ana hanging onto him, he was still in the present. Still had a thread of a grip on reality. He knew the sh
adows weren’t real, and he’d take that. Yeah, he had the most hellish images racing through his mind, and his stomach was churning…but his head was still clear.
Or clear in comparison to what it was when she wasn’t touching him.
He’d take sane and fucked up over insane and homicidal any day.
Elijah suddenly realized the Order was standing around him, weapons still out, watching him with a wariness that made him feel like a crazed animal. He struggled to sit up, barely able to keep himself from wincing at the pain that knifed through his body. He kept one arm tight around Ana, even though it hurt like hell to use either arm.
“Stop looking so damn worried. I’m fine.” No one looked convinced, and he had to grant them that. They were right not to relax around him. “How come no one’s tried to kill my sheva?” The Order was the only thing standing in defense of humanity against rogue Calydons, so when an Order member met his sheva, she had to be sacrificed to allow her mate to continue fighting to protect humanity. It was either that or let him go rogue and destroy the entire fucking world. No Order sheva could be allowed to live, but no one was making a move toward Ana.
“Because she can pull you back from total insanity.” Gideon grabbed Elijah’s arm to pull him to his feet. “Always a bonus when a woman can do that for you.” His voice got a little thick as Quinn grabbed Elijah’s other arm, and the two of them hauled him up. “I thought we’d lost you for sure, Elijah.” His gaze flicked to Ana. “Nice work.”
“My good deed for the day.” She managed a smile as she tucked herself under Elijah’s arm, between Quinn and Elijah. It was exactly where Elijah needed her, pressed up against his side, and at the same time, his mind recoiled from the images haunting him. His soul needed her, his spirit craved her, but his mind saw her as the enemy. What the hell? He pulled her closer, needing her touch, but even as he did it, he realized she was too close to get away from him in time if he snapped. Shit. What the hell was he going to do?
She looked at him, and he saw a wealth of conflict in her eyes. Like she knew what was going on inside his head. “You won’t hurt me.”
“Fuck that,” he said. “I will.” Hell, if only she knew what he was, she wouldn’t look at him like he was a damned hero.
“You need a shower,” Quinn interrupted. “You smell like shit, and you look worse.”
He and Gideon started dragging Elijah toward the stairs, his busted leg trailing behind him. Elijah gritted his teeth against the pain, sweat pouring down his face as he tried to keep it together. “I don’t need to be carried.”
“Yeah, I know, tough guy.” Quinn shot him a look. “Because they’re all just scratches, right?”
“Right.” Elijah glanced behind him at the Order trailing after them, grimacing at all their wounds. Had he really done that? He caught Ana looking at him, and she gave a slight nod. Yes, that was you.
He tensed, realizing she could touch his mind through the sheva bond. Shit. He didn’t like the idea of anyone knowing what was going on in his head. Especially now. He tried to raise his mental shields against her, but as soon as he started to, the demons started circling again. He felt his control begin to slide, felt the familiar paranoia returning.
He swore again, and let his barriers fall, opening himself to her. The minute he did, his body relaxed and the demons settled, but the nightmares and memories caused by Ana rose to replace them. Too many memories racing though his mind, but again, he knew they were only memories, and he could tell they weren’t real, so he’d take it. It was a hell that didn’t make him crazy, so that was better than where he’d been. But he wasn’t okay, not by a long shot. At some point, they weren’t going to be able to get him back when he went off, and then they were in trouble.
Thano limped ahead and hauled open the door to the corridor. Blood was coagulating in the wound in his shoulder…a wound that looked like bite marks? “Did I bite you?” The question was out before he could stop himself.
Thano shrugged. “You haven’t eaten in a while. It’s all good.”
As Gideon and Quinn dragged Elijah up the stairs, he glanced at the rest of the Order. He saw Ryland with his hand over his heart, blood seeping between his fingers. Holy crap. He’d really tried to kill them all. How the hell was it possible to lose his grip on reality so completely that he tried to kill his own team?
It wasn’t over.
It would never be over.
The fear that had been stalking him his whole life had finally become reality.
Ryland raised an eyebrow. “Kill Ezekiel and I’ll forgive you.”
A spike of adrenaline pulsed through Elijah, as it always did when he heard the name of the ruthless bastard who nearly destroyed the world two thousand years ago. “Ezekiel? What’s he got to do with anything?”
“He escaped from his prison.” Gideon said.
Elijah went cold, and he fought to keep his face impassive. Instinctively, he tightened his grip on Ana, pulling her tighter against him, into the shield of his body where he could protect her. “What?”
Quinn nodded. “He got out three days ago. Our battle with him was what collapsed the tunnels.”
“No fucking way.” Elijah fought to get free of his friends’ grip, then doubled over at the pain that shot through him, at the fresh blood pouring from his gut. “I need to go after him.”
“Yeah, you do,” Gideon agreed easily. “But not until you’ve slept.” He and Quinn dragged him toward the staircase to the second floor.
Elijah hung his head, gritting his teeth against the wave of nausea from the pain. “I don’t have time to sleep. I need to go after Ezekiel now.” But even as he said it, he looked down at the woman holding him up. His heart bled for the faded bruises on her arms, for the determined set to her mouth. He had to keep her safe. Had to protect her from Ezekiel. She was connected with him. Ezekiel would know, and he would target her.
Ana looked up at him, and her eyes widened. “What’s wrong?”
Elijah shook his head, uncomfortable that she sensed there was more driving him than Ezekiel being free. “I need to stop him. Now.”
Gideon shot him a sharp look. “He’ll kill you in a split second if you go now. You can’t even stand. You need to go into the healing sleep and then we’ll go.”
“No. I go now.” He had to intercept the bastard before Ezekiel came after him. Had to strike before Ezekiel knew he was coming. “Let me go!” Elijah struggled to get loose again, and his leg bumped Gideon’s. Pain shot through him, and his head started to spin.
Jesus. He was going to pass out? Maybe being insane was better, because feeling pain was inconvenient as hell.
Gideon and Quinn tightened their grips, and he knew they sensed he was about to faint. No damn way was he going to pass out in front of the Order. No way. There were some limits that a man had to have.
Ana hugged his waist. Take deep breaths. It’ll go away.
Deep breaths. Right. He sucked in air like a goddamn freight train.
“We already tried to take Ezekiel out, and we had no chance. He’s far too powerful,” Gideon said. “It’s like it was two thousand years ago, when the only person who could defeat him was his own brother.”
Elijah tensed, his heart starting to race. Had they found out about him?
Quinn helped him over the top step. “Ana learned you were descended from Caleb, Ezekiel’s brother.”
Elijah had to struggle to keep his face impassive. Shit. They knew. What else did they know? They’d kill him for sure if they knew the rest.
Ana looked up at him, her brow furrowed in a small frown, and he immediately tried to empty his mind so she wouldn’t catch his thoughts. No one could know.
“So, we’re hoping that you inherited whatever Caleb had that enabled him to take down Ezekiel in the first place,” Quinn said. “If you didn’t, we’re all screwed. If you did, party at the mansion after you take him out.”
“I’ll take him out.” Hell, Elijah had been waiting for this chance for ove
r five hundred years.
Gideon shot him a raised brow as they headed down the upstairs hall. “You know how to kill him?”
“No. But I’ll figure it out.” His friends dragged him over a threshold into one of the spare bedrooms of Dante’s mansion. There were female things strewn over the room, and it smelled like flowers and sunshine. Elijah knew instantly that this room was where Ana had been staying. Her scent was all over the place. His groin tightened at the sight of the tangled sheets on the bed, and the thought of Ana sleeping in them.
He swore again. How could he possibly be thinking about her when Ezekiel was out? Get a grip, man.
Thano opened the door to the bathroom, and Gideon and Quinn carried him into the shower. Damn. This was just an embarrassment now. They weren’t going to sponge bathe him, were they? “Hell, everyone’s going to shower with me?”
“No,” Quinn said. “Just Ana.”
Ana. Hot desire raced through Elijah, and he looked down at the woman still tucked against his side. She looked up, and he saw the flare of passion in her eyes. Awareness and desire lunged through him at the realization that she was feeling the same call he was. He touched her jaw, and satisfaction pulsed through him when her cheeks flushed.
Quinn cleared his throat. “Elijah.”
Shit. What was he doing? Elijah looked at his friend as Quinn leaned him up against the wall. “I don’t have time for a shower—”
“Yes, you do.” Quinn set his hands on either shoulder, and Elijah winced at the pain. Something in Quinn’s eyes indicated he had an idea of exactly how badly Elijah wanted to go after Ezekiel. They’d been blood bonded for five hundred years, and both Quinn and Gideon had a direct link to Elijah’s emotions unless he actively worked to shield them. And even then, sometimes they were still able to get hits.
Darkness Surrendered (Primal Heat Trilogy #3) (Order of the Blade) Page 6
