by Brian King
We were all aliens on this planet.
“Are you feeling alright, Victor? Still thirsty?” Galmine asked as her hand rubbed my shoulder.
I blinked at her a few times and realized that I must have missed something. “No. Sorry. I’m easily distracted.” I smiled at her and then turned back to Sheela.
“It is all right,” Sheela said. “I just wanted you to know why I am not at maximum efficiency.”
“Well, if it’s always like this, I can see why,” I said with a laugh. “You’re killing yourself taking care of everyone else. I’m exhausted even watching you, but you were kind enough to let me into your cave, so I’m--”
“Pftt. I’ve heard enough. Did I miss a vote in which we allowed this male to join us?” Trel interrupted.
She sauntered toward us on her human legs, and I once again tried to avoid staring at her sweat-soaked body beneath the revealing silk dress.
“If we must vote,” Sheela replied in her tired voice. “I, for one, wish to allow him to join. He survived alone in the wilds. He volunteered to get water and did well for his first time. He helped me fight off the flying dinosaur without being asked. And though I see the fear in his eyes, he shields that fear from the animals. It is an important skill for a hunter. In my estimation, he has done more than enough to join our group.”
“I agree,” Galmine said right after the blonde warrior. “If Sheela says he helped her outside, he automatically has my vote. But from what I’ve seen in here, Victor has been nothing but kind and thoughtful to me. I really want him to stay.”
“That is two-to-one in favor,” Sheela declared, giving no time for Trel to object.
“Wait,” Trel replied as she got right up next to the cooking fire. “I haven’t voted.”
I shifted uncomfortably in my spot as Trel deliberated for what felt like fifteen seconds. Then she cleared her throat, looked at each of the two other women and raised her pointer finger-claw in the air.
“I vote to allow this male to join,” Trel said without an ounce of sarcasm.
The three of us shared a confused moment of silence as we watched the complicated spider-woman.
“Thank you,” I said to Trel, hoping she wasn’t about to take it back.
“The male will not thank me,” Trel said as she raised her perfect nose in the air. “My decision was based solely on being part of the winning majority. I obviously initiated the vote to ensure you would join and start off in my debt.”
“Victor is not in your debt, Trel,” Sheela said. “Even if you voted for him.”
Trel exhaled as if she’d been given the worst news of her life, and she shot me a cold glare.
“Yay!” Galmine said with a refreshing burst of excitement. “We can be like a big happy family, working to support each other in this horrible place. It feels so good to have such wonderful friends, don’t you think?”
“I, uh, promise you won’t regret it,” I said. “This is not much different from situations I’ve encountered on my world.”
I was thinking of the numerous resource gathering and empire building games I’d played over the years, although none of them dropped me in the middle of an alien planet, surrounded me with dinosaurs and beautiful women, and then failed to give me the smallest clue about how to win. I knew nothing about my “base” except it was a cave on a hillside. I didn’t have a single tool or the slightest idea where to get one. And my workforce consisted of three sexy alien women with strange skills and seemingly arbitrary stats. My “empire” was destined to be pretty damned small.
Unless I figured out how to protect these women.
“This should be good,” Trel huffed. “You seriously expect us to believe you’ve been in a situation just like this one?”
“Not like this,” I admitted. “I’ve been involved in numerous, um, scenarios, or simulations, where I started with nothing. The best thing we can do right now is sketch out a plan for how we can survive and stick to it. We can adjust it later on, but a plan is critical to long-term survival. Otherwise, you tend to live day to day, always reacting to unforeseen threats instead of seeing potential problems and avoiding them completely. This is especially true when you don’t have enough helpers.” I looked at Trel and raised an eyebrow.
“For the tenth time, I do not work for you,” Trel replied with defiance. “Join our group if you must. Help our group if you want. But don’t expect me to do anything. I only wish to be entertained as I wait for my inevitable rescue, and you are hardly entertaining.”
I could tell there was no use in arguing with the beautiful spider-woman, even though she was a quarter of our manpower. We would have to work around her.
“Right, so, on my world, people use computers to plan it all out, which we don’t have. We--”
“What is a computer?” Galmine asked as she fluttered her eyelids.
“It’s a device that displays data and can execute programming,” Trel answered before I could, and I wondered how advanced her civilization was.
“Oh! So the Eye-Q is a computer,” Galmine said while tapping her temple. “Can we use this?”
“Maybe. I hope so,” I replied thoughtfully. “But I’ve only just learned how to turn mine on.”
“Tell us what your plan would be,” Sheela said with interest.
“So, on my world, we basically have reams of charts, technology trees, and technical data we study as we lead our team through a challenge,” I said. “It could be as simple as finding a magic chalice or as complicated as managing a galactic war.” I looked around the room and saw that they weren’t really following. I glanced down at my hands and struggled to find the right words to make this simpler. “The scenarios are always different, but they all boil down to proper planning and resource management. Since none of us know what we’re doing here, that’s where we have to start.”
“I see,” Sheela said.
“It starts like this: what is this group’s biggest challenge?” I asked as I sat up straight and rubbed my hands together.
“Dinosaurs,” Sheela replied.
“Food and water,” Galmine guessed.
“Annoying males,” Trel added.
“Those are all short-term problems,” I said, ignoring Trel’s contribution. “I believe our biggest challenge is establishing a secure home. Whether you are a chipmunk or a powerful emperor, you have to have a base of operations. We need somewhere we can go to be safe, no matter what else is happening out in the world.”
“Like this cave?” Galmine suggested.
“I don’t think so. On our way back Sheela and I saw the pterosaur clawing its way up our ramp. That means there are potentially two species of flesh-chewing beasties with their beady eyes on our cave. Maybe more. And how long do we have before the orange ones arrive in force?” I looked to Sheela.
“The last time they came about thirty days after the first scouts,” Sheela replied.
“So we have about that long to fortify this cave so it can withstand--” I said until I had a terrible thought. “Did you stick around after the birds arrived?”
“I was on the next hillside while I decided where to go, but yes, I saw them from afar,” she replied.
“Were they all in the cave or did they also hang around outside?” I asked as I continued my train of thought.
“I did not get back inside once they arrived in large numbers, but I think the females deposited eggs in the cave,” Sheela said as if watching it all again. “The males, I presume, remained outside.”
“Do you think you could have gone back into that cave if you wanted to?” I asked. I was afraid I already knew her answer. If the warrior woman could have fought them off and kept her old cave, she would have.
Sheela thought about it for a few moments.
“I do not think I could have returned,” she replied with disappointment lingering in her voice. “They have very sharp teeth, and it was difficult to escape just a few of them. They chased me for almost a mile. As more arrived, I did not dare
go back.”
I sat there and stared at the crackling fire. What little smoke there was drifted up and out through some small cracks in the roof. All it lacked was some hot dogs and the sweet smell of s'mores. It would have been relaxing if our situation wasn’t so serious.
“Victor?” Galmine called. “What are you thinking?”
I shook my head to clear my thoughts. I was also getting very tired sitting there in the dark cavern.
“I wish we knew how long the birds were going to nest here,” I said to Galmine. “It could help us determine if we can hold out in the cave.”
“Why would we do that, male? Your idea of planning is what? Hiding?” Trel’s sarcasm was especially biting because she was right, it wasn’t a very good solution.
“Yeah, well, the problem is that we won’t be able to go outside while the birds are here,” I answered. “What if we had a reason to leave? Sheela said they chased her for a mile and she’s faster than all of us. Galmine would never survive. Can you imagine being stuck inside the cave until the birds were done nesting?” I chuckled, so I didn’t sound overly dramatic. Even that confinement wouldn’t be so bad if Trel crept around in her own cave, and Galmine and Sheela lived in mine.
“I had hoped we could find enough help to fight off the birds when they arrived, but I was not thinking clearly,” Sheela answered. “We cannot be in the cave when the orange birds arrive.”
“And who knows what trouble the pterodactyls will cause if they mix together with the other birds,” I said. “It seems like we’d want to be away from them both.”
“Where are we going to go?” Galmine asked with sadness in her voice. It came out like fingernails on the chalkboard because she was always so happy.
I waited to see if Sheela would answer, but she remained silent. So far, my tour of this planet included a slaughterhouse beach, a suffocating jungle, and a frightening redwood forest. Besides the cave, I had no idea where to go for safety.
“Victor, we saw that gigantic tree lying on the forest floor. Could we live inside it?” Sheela asked.
I immediately liked her suggestion, but could we? It was certainly big enough. It was at least as spacious inside as this cave, and it was made of wood. We could carve the inside once we had tools. Even the largest dinosaur would have problems penetrating that massive trunk.
“I think,” I began slowly, “we have to consider Galmine first. I would rather live inside a tree trunk above the ground than be in this dank cave, but staying near the cave gives us certain advantages we wouldn’t have way down by the creek. Mainly it gives Galmine a place to hide while we build whatever we’re going to build. If we’re a half a mile away, we won’t know if there’s trouble here in the cave.”
“I can protect her, male. Better than you could, certainly.” Trel’s words came out with an acidic tone.
“I see his point,” Sheela jumped in. “The tree is far from our current home. Also, I often see creatures wandering along the creek. It would probably be hard to build walls and doors at the tree with dinosaurs around. We would have nowhere safe to hide down there if a threat did find us.”
“So build close to the cave,” Trel scoffed. “It’s not hard to figure out, male.”
“Can we build in front of the cave on the open ground you showed me, Sheela?” I said while pretending not to hear Trel. The spider woman’s suggestion was right on target; pretty good for someone who despised the thought of sitting in on our planning meeting.
“Are you suggesting we construct a camp outside?” Sheela clarified.
“Yeah, or something like a little fort,” I said in reply. “Maybe four walls of upright tree trunks with a door. Big enough to keep out the birds. Nothing fancy. I have no doubt we could figure it out, but have you seen anything like that before?”
“I have seen my people construct small camps for hunting in our forests, so I only know how to make a very basic shelter,” Sheela explained. “The concept should be the same for a larger enclosure, but there is much we must acquire before we can build anything. For instance, we need better cutting tools to bring down the trees. I have used a sharp stone I found in the creek to cut a few of the smallest trees for my spears, but it is very painful to use after a short time. We will also need a lot of cordage to hold logs together, which we can fashion from bark or stringy plant leaves.”
“Waste. Of. Time.” Trel rubbed her bony fingers together to express her displeasure.
I pictured what I wanted in my head. It was like those old military forts I’d seen on TV with walls of pointy logs. If we had time, we could add a roof. That would be a proper dino-proof “base” for us.
“So, all we have to do is build some axes, cut down a shitload of trees, and then string them together in the shape of a square,” I said with growing enthusiasm. “Then we can build some sort of smaller shelter in the middle so we can get out of the weather. We’ll also need room for a campfire.” My mind danced through the plan as I spoke, and I felt the excitement build in my stomach. Yeah. We could do this if Sheela and I worked together. We could figure out how to set the logs for the walls and build a little hut.
“While we build, we will need to gather fuel for the fire, re-sharpen the axes, hunt meat, gather fruits and berries, and retrieve lots of water,” Sheela pointed out.
“Yeah,” I agreed, “Maybe we can make a second pot so we can both carry water? That will cut down on trips to the river. I can also help you hunt and drag more meat back to the camp.”
“Yes,” Sheela nodded, and a small smile spread across her perfect lips. “These tasks will be easier now that we have you with us, Victor. We will need to get some clay from the riverbed and then make a few extra trips for water so we can make the pot.”
“I made these two,” Galmine said as she gestured to the cooking and water pots. “It’s fun. I just take the clay, roll it into long pieces, stack them on top of each other in circles, smooth it out, and then let the fire heat it. I could make a lot more if you need them.”
“Great!” I said as I smiled at the beautiful rock-woman. “We should do that as soon as we can tomorrow morning. Maybe you can make it a bit larger than the first one, so we can carry more water.”
“You idiots are simply wasting calories on being stupid,” Trel sighed with exasperation. “Building your little play fort will mean you need two or three times more water and food.”
“Uhhhh,” I said as I turned over the spider-woman’s words in my head. As much as I didn’t want to admit it, she was right. Building a walled fort outside in the heat was going to be a ton of work. We’d probably each need a pot of water every hour, and we would need more than a few bites of food every day.
“Yeah, you’re right Trel,” I replied with a sigh. “You make a good point, but we have to do something. We can’t stay here. We could really use your help with building, or fetching water, or anything.”
The dark-haired beauty seemed surprised by my admission, and her black eyes stared into mine for a few moments.
“I am Trel-Idil-Iria, Duchess of family Iria. I don’t do peasant work, male.” She crossed her arms over her magnificent breasts and huffed. “They are coming to rescue me. You should just occupy yourselves with bringing me ample food and drink. Then, when they come, I might find it in my heart to take you with me.”
“But if your family doesn’t come, you’ll die when the orange birds arrive, or when the pterosaur tries to nest in here,” I countered.
“Pffft,” Trel raspberried out of her pretty mouth. “I feel like my brain cells die whenever I speak with this male. I must go rest now.” She turned around and walked back into the darkness of the cave.
My heart sank when she left, and I tried in vain to think of something I could say that would get her to want to help us.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered to the other two women. “I tried.”
“Don’t worry, Victor,” Galmine said. “Trel will come to like you, just as she likes both Sheela and I. We are both thank
ful that you are here.”
“Thank you,” I said. “I think we can make this work. We are going to have to figure out how to move more water and food back here. We’ll also need to figure out how to build the fort, but I know we can do it if we all work together. Sheela and I can do everything that requires leaving the cave, and Galmine can help us by making rope and pots. We can figure out how to make baskets and axes. The work will go faster once we get a few things done.”
“I would love to help.” Galmine smiled and brought her hands together to clap. “I don’t know how to make rope, or baskets, or axes, though.”
“I know how to make cordage,” Sheela said. “I can teach you both.”
“And I think I can figure out how to make a basket,” I said as I suddenly remembered a YMCA summer camp class where we made multicolored baskets for our parents.
“I have also spent the last few minutes thinking about how to attach a stone to an axe handle. We can try it once we find an appropriate stone, handle, and have made some cordage.” Sheela couldn’t hide behind her stoicism anymore, and her mouth split into a wide grin. “Yes, I also think we can do this. Let us build a new camp. It is a good idea. Thank you, Victor.”
“Ahh, well, ummm,” I said as the beautiful women both smiled at me, “I just want to help. It’s going to be a lot of work.” My face was blushing again, and my heart was hammering in my chest. Dang, I’d been around plenty of beautiful girls, but Galmine and Sheela were off the scale.
“It might help if we build a door to the cave,” Sheela said as she pointed toward the back where Trel’s room was. “I have collected some extra spear poles. A door might buy us some additional time to run up the ramp and defend the entrance.”
“Yeah, that’s a great idea, Sheela,” I said as I hopped to my feet. “Let’s take a look.”
Galmine seemed surprised I made it to my feet so fast, and she raised her arms so I could help her up. Her seemingly naked body was inches away as she slowly rose to meet me. For an awkward second we faced each other next to the fire, and then she grabbed me around my waist and pulled me into another hug. Like before, she felt warm against my body, but this time I also caught a whiff of flowery perfume. The scent made my head spin almost as much as the turtle soup had. I reluctantly pushed her away, aware that Sheela was now standing just behind me.
