But the only thing she would have changed, the only thing she could have changed, was Thomas Blackhawk.
"Julianna."
She turned sharply. Lucas stood in the doorway, his dark eyes watching her. "I didn't hear you come in," she managed through the lump in her throat.
"Are you all right?" Frowning, he moved toward her.
"Fine." She forced a smile, stepped back from him and scanned the room. "Looks like you had a garage sale."
"Everything's been put in storage. If there's anything you want, I'll have it taken out for you."
She folded her arms tightly around her and shook her head. "Nothing in this house was ever mine. You can have a bonfire with all of it, if you like." The thought actually lightened her dark mood. "I'll bring the hot dogs."
He smiled, reached for her and pulled her into his arms. "I thought I'd donate everything to the Wolf River County Home for Boys. With the money they raise from an estate sale, they can buy some new computers, refurbish the gym and set up a scholarship fund."
To think that something good might come of her father's possessions brought a burning moisture to her eyes. "Oh, Lucas. This is a wonderful gift."
"Only part of it." He kissed her lightly. "The house is being sold, too. In pieces. I have a crew coming in an hour to start disassembling this place. A year from now, cows will be having lunch right where we're standing."
"You're tearing down the house?"
"Too much of the past is here." He looked up, stared hard at the portrait of her father. "Especially in this room. It's time for both of us to let go and put it all behind us."
Yes, it was time, she realized. Her heart pounded fiercely as she stepped out of his arms and backed away. "Lucas, I—"
"Well, isn't this just a heartwarming scene."
Julianna's blood froze at the echoing sound of her father's voice. He stood in the doorway, his suit rumpled, his face tight with anger. He looked older, she thought, his hair more gray, his shoulders slumped and rounded. But the same cruel expression still carved out the sharp angles of his face.
Breath held, she looked back at Lucas, watched his black eyes narrow as he slowly turned.
"You'd have to have a heart to answer that one, Hadley," Lucas said evenly.
"Shut up, Blackhawk. You shut the hell up." Mason's hands clenched into fists. "Did you really think that I'd let you tear this house down?"
Lucas calmly faced the other man. "The way I see it, you don't have much of a choice."
Mason's smile was as cold as his eyes. "There's always a choice, half-breed. Isn't that right, Julianna?"
She took a shaky step closer to Lucas. "You've lost," she said, couldn't even bring herself to address him as her father. "Just leave us alone."
"Leave you alone?" His smile twisted into a sneer. "Why, sweetheart, is that any way to talk to your father?"
"I'm not your daughter." In twenty-nine years, she'd never spoken back to him, never defied him. The repercussions would have been immediate and severe. But there was nothing he could do to her now. Nothing that she wasn't prepared to do to herself.
"You used me and my mother," she said and the words liberated her, gave her a strength she'd never felt before. "You wanted to create the illusion of the ail-American family living the dream. But the illusion was only that, and the dream was a nightmare. You were never a husband to my mother, and you were never a father to me."
"You ungrateful brat." Hand raised, he moved toward her.
Lucas stepped in front of her. She could feel the tension radiate from his body. "Don't do it, Hadley." His voice was a low growl. "Just walk away now and let it be."
Mason hesitated, obviously remembering his last encounter with Lucas. "Let it be?" His eyes narrowed to slits. "I didn't let it be when I started that fire in your damn hotel. I sure as hell am not going to let it be now."
When he pulled out a gun, Julianna gasped and clutched Lucas's arm. She felt the energy radiate from his body, the coiled tension. His arm came out and shoved her behind him.
"You're right about one thing, Julianna, dear," Mason said with feigned sweetness. "I'm not your father. Your mother was already pregnant with you when I married her. Some stupid bastard who got himself killed in Nam. Your mother was rich, unmarried, and she needed a father for her baby. I saw an opportunity and took it, just like you when you married Lucas."
His confession shocked her, but at the same time,
a profound sense of relief poured through her. It was
almost as if she'd known somehow, as if deep inside
her, she'd never truly accepted that this man could be
her father. «
"You're wrong," she said quietly, tried to step away from Lucas but he snagged her arm and pulled her back. "I love Lucas. I always have. Just like my mother must have loved my father. That's why you were always so angry with her, wasn't it? Because you couldn't stop her from loving him, because you had no power over her feelings. She gave you her money, her dignity, but she never gave you her heart."
She saw the rage in his eyes, and she knew it was true. Her mother had been no more than another possession to him, one he couldn't completely manipulate or control, and it had infuriated him. She slipped from Lucas's hold and stepped away. When Lucas made a move toward her, Mason raised the gun and Lucas froze.
"She died loving him, you know." She walked toward him. It was all so clear to her now, so painfully crystal clear. "That's why she never got better after her accident. She lost the will to live."
"She was weak," Mason said with a snarl. "And ungrateful, just like you. But I'm going to give you another chance. Just like I gave you twenty years ago."
Julianna halted in her steps. "You never gave me a chance, Mason." She said his name, glad she never had to call him father again. "Not once. But I'll give you one now. Put down the gun and leave."
"Do as she says, Hadley." Lucas took a step forward.
"I told you to shut up." Mason swung the gun around at him. "Julianna does what she's told. She always has. Even twenty years ago, when she saw me shoot your father, she kept quiet. Just like she'll keep quiet after I shoot you."
Julianna watched as Lucas turned toward her. "You were there?"
She forgot the gun, forgot the crazed panic in Mason's eyes. Everything centered on Lucas, on the stunned, confused look in his eyes. "I started to tell you, just now. I swear, Lucas, I—"
"That's enough," Mason barked and took a step forward. "You threatened to kill me before," he said to Lucas, "in the judge's chambers. I have witnesses. I just came here today to talk to you, try to make amends with my son-in-law, and you pulled a gun on me. We fought, the gun went off. Just like twenty years ago with your father." He lifted the gun, pointed it at Lucas. "The only difference will be that you won't be as lucky as him, you won't be leaving here alive."
"No!"
Julianna threw herself at her father as he pulled the trigger. An explosion deafened her; a brilliant white light blinded her. She saw nothing, heard nothing as the cold, hard floor rose up to meet her.
The sound of her own heartbeat woke her. She had no concept of time, no sense of space. She knew she was alive; the dull, constant throb in her head unmistakably stressed that fact. There was also the sound of a soft beep, the smell of antiseptic, the feel of crisp, cool sheets against her skin.
She struggled to open her eyes, but her lids were heavy and uncooperative. Persistent, she concentrated on that one simple task until the bed rail came into focus, then the green pulsing band of light on a monitor. The hospital, she realized, her eyes fully open now. She was in the hospital.
She remembered. The Double H, her father, no, she quickly corrected herself, the man she'd called father. She remembered the gun, his fury as he'd pointed it at Lucas.
Lucas. Panic swept through her. Was he all right? She searched for a bell or buzzer by her hand to call for a nurse, but there was nothing. Frantic, her gaze swept the room, and her heart skipped as she saw h
im by the window, staring out. Sunlight silhouetted his tall, muscular frame. His back was stiff and straight, his hands shoved into his pockets.
Thank God. She closed her eyes with relief. He was alive. And her baby? Heart pounding, she touched her stomach. She tried to speak, to call Lucas, but her throat was dry, and a broken croak was the best she could do.
He turned from the window, then moved to the side of her bed. His lips were pressed into a thin, tight line, his brow knotted into a frown.
"Lucas," she managed to say it clearly this time. "The baby..."
"Everything is fine," he reassured her. "You're fine. The bullet just grazed your head. You've been unconscious."
"How long?" She tried to sit, but he touched her shoulder and eased her back down. His hand was cold through her thin gown, and the tension radiated from his fingers into her body.
"An hour, almost two. How do you feel?"
"Like there's a bass drum inside my head." Raising a hand, she touched the bandage circling her forehead. "What happened after...?"
"Mason was stunned when he shot you instead of me. It gave me the second I needed to knock him out. I called the ambulance and sheriff."
"Is he in jail?"
"He's been booked on attempted murder, along with an assortment of other miscellaneous crimes, including the fire he started. I intend to see that charges are filed for the attempted murder and ultimate death of my father, as well."
"Oh, Lucas, I'm so sorry." Tears burned at her eyes. "I was trying to tell you the truth when Mason came in."
"The doctors want you to stay calm." Lucas glanced up at the monitor, frowned at the increase in her heartbeat. "We'll talk about this later."
She shook her head, winced at the pain. "I will be calm. For the first time in twenty years I'll be calm. As soon as I do this. You have a right to know the truth, about what happened, and about me. Afterward, if you change your mind," she said through the tightness squeezing her throat and chest, "about us, I'll understand."
When the monitor slowed again, he nodded stiffly. "All right."
"I was there that night. Behind the drapes in the study, hiding a glass paperweight I'd broken on my father's—Mason's—desk. I knew I was going to get a whipping and I was already terrified when I heard him come into the study."
She closed her eyes, could still smell the cigar Mason had been smoking, the whiskey he'd been drinking. She drew in a slow breath and opened her eyes again.
"Your father came in, he had a baseball bat and waved it around. He was furious, called Mason a thief and a cheat. There was a lot of yelling, and I covered my ears, but they were so loud. Suddenly it was quiet...."
How many times had she heard that same, deadly quiet over the past twenty years? How many nightmares had she woken from and felt that same quiet smother her?
Sightlessly she stared at the ceiling. Her voice dropped to a whisper. "When I looked out from behind the drapes, your father had thrown the bat down on the desk, told Mason that he wasn't worth it. Then your father turned to walk out. Mason called out to him. When your father turned back around, Mason shot him."
"Dammit, Julianna," Lucas said when the monitor started to race. "We shouldn't be talking about this now."
She went on, anyway, despite the black rage she saw in his eyes. "Mason employed a lot of people in Wolf River. He had the right connections. No one would have dared call him a liar and take your father's side, even if they wanted to. But I saw it. I knew the truth."
"You were only nine years old, for God's sake." He dragged his hands through his hair, shook his head. "There was nothing you could have done, nothing you could have changed."
She looked at him fiercely. "I could have cleared your father's name. Maybe not then, but later, when I was older. I threatened to once, when I was fourteen, after my mother's accident. Mason told me that he'd put my mother in a mental institution if I ever said a word. That would have killed her, and she was all I had, the only person who loved me. So I said nothing. Your father was a good man. He deserved better than that." She turned her head away from him, couldn't stand to see the anger in his eyes. "You deserved better."
When his hand touched hers, she turned back, watched in stunned amazement as he pressed his lips to her palm, then held her fingers tightly to his cheek.
"I got better," he said raggedly. "I got you."
"You...you don't hate me?"
"Hate you?" he said, his voice tight with emotion. "Good God, woman, did that bullet scramble your brains? How could you possibly think that I could hate you?"
"You didn't touch me," she whispered. "You were so angry with me."
"I'm not angry at you, Julianna." His eyes narrowed darkly. "I'm furious."
Confused, she simply stared at him. "I...I don't understand."
Lucas struggled to pull himself together, just as he struggled between wanting to throttle Julianna, and drag her into his arms to kiss her senseless.
"You jumped in front of that gun, tried to take a bullet meant for me." He knew his hand was shaking. He didn't even try to stop it. "What if he'd killed you, and our child, too? What would I have done, how would I have gone on? Don't you ever do anything like that again, do you hear me, Julianna Blackhawk?"
A pinch-faced nurse opened the door and frowned at Lucas. "Is there a problem?"
"No." He shook his head, realized he'd been yelling. "I'm sorry. My wife is awake now. Would you please call the doctor?"
She looked at Julianna, who waved her off. "I'm fine. Really. Just a headache."
The nurse glanced back at Lucas as if he were the headache, hesitated, then shook her head as she closed the door again.
Lucas drew in a deep breath to calm himself. "I thought I'd lost you," he said hoarsely, and pressed his lips to her wrist. "I thought I'd lost both of you."
He'd never known that kind of fear before, never let anyone that close to his heart, to his very soul. Loving Julianna was the single most terrifying thing he'd ever done in his life.
Tears glistened in her eyes. "I wasn't thinking about myself or the baby when I realized that Mason was really going to shoot you. I just reacted." She caressed his cheek with her fingertips. "You really do forgive me? Even for knowing about your father?"
"There's nothing to forgive." He leaned down, kissed her cheek, then her lips. "It's over now. We have each other, and the rest of our lives. I love you, Julianna. Nothing will change that. Nothing in the past, and nothing in the future."
"I love you, too, Lucas." She smiled, touched her stomach. "And our baby."
"That's the other thing I wanted to talk to you about," he said gently. "Dr. Glover examined you again when you were brought into the hospital, ran a couple of tests."
Panic flickered in her eyes. "Is something wrong?"
"Just one little thing," he said with a smile. "Actually two."
"Two?" She stared at him, then her eyes widened as she understood his meaning. Her mouth opened, and they said it at the same time.
"Twins."
"I thought we were meeting Nick for dinner at the restaurant," Julianna said as Lucas pulled into the empty parking lot of the abandoned warehouse.
"He asked if we'd stop by and give him a ride into town. ' ' Lucas shut off the engine, then came around to open the door for her. "Something about his motorcycle and a timing belt. Besides, he's been champing at the bit to show you this place ever since you came home from the hospital."
"If my husband hadn't held me captive in my bedroom for the past six days," she said, stepping out of the car, "I would have been here already."
"Just following doctor's orders." Lucas bent to gently kiss the yellowing bruise on her temple, then gave her a wicked grin. "Who am I to argue when I'm told to keep my wife in bed?"
"I think the doctor said bedrest, Blackhawk. And I certainly don't remember him saying it was necessary for you to take the week off work and be in bed with me."
Pulling her close, he nibbled on her ear and whispered, "I don't
seem to recall any complaints."
"I'm only complaining the doctor didn't say two weeks." With a sigh, she leaned against his strong body. Six uninterrupted days in bed with her husband had been sheer heaven following a day of hell.
But that was behind them now. Mason Hadley had gone to jail, the babies—she smiled at the mere thought of two—growing inside her were fine, and she and Lucas had finally buried their past.
"Come on." He took her hand, then opened the rusted metal door. "Let's*make this an early evening."
"You are a mind reader, Lucas Blackhawk," she murmured and stepped inside the warehouse.
Stunned, she couldn't move, couldn't even breathe. Tiny white lights twinkled from every corner, every rafter, every column. Hundreds of candles flickered from dozens of linen-covered tables. Flowers, bouquet after bouquet of delicate white and pink roses scented the huge room. "Surprise!"
People flowed forward from all sides; it seemed the entire town was there. She glanced over her shoulder at Lucas, who grinned like a boy with a new bike.
"It's not exactly a church, but I wanted to do this right this time," Lucas said as he took her hand. With the whole town of Wolf River watching, he said, ' 'Julianna Blackhawk, I love you. Will you marry me— again?"
"Here?" she whispered. "Now?"
"Yep." He took her hand in his, brought it to his lips and kissed her fingers. "Here and now."
Heart pounding, Julianna glanced over the expectant crowd. Nick grinned and gave her the thumbs-up, Judge Winters nodded approvingly, and Dr. Glover beamed like a proud father.
Everyone waited.
"Go on, sweetie," Madge called out from the crowd. "Say yes, and let's get on with the party."
Julianna looked back at Lucas. His black gaze shone, mirrored the love she felt for him. He went to all this trouble, brought out the entire town, to propose to her? She blinked rapidly, swore she wouldn't cry, not with the entire town of Wolf River looking on.
But as she threw herself into his arms, she did cry. She also laughed. "Yes, yes, you big idiot. Of course I'll marry you."
He kissed her long enough to evoke sighs and catcalls, then she found herself surrounded by everyone wishing them both well. Larry from the drugstore, Patsy from the post office, George from the hardware store. Even MaryAnn and Stephanie, though their congratulations were laced with envy. When she spotted Roger Gerckee across the room trying to pick up on a woman serving hors d'oeuvres, she turned to Lucas and frowned. "You invited Roger?"
Secrets 01- Blackhawk’s Sweet Revenge Page 14
