by LK Collins
“Yeah.”
“You cool if we take your truck, so I don’t have to stop and get gas?” I tell him, hoping I can weasel my way out of leaving with him tonight.
“Of course.”
Nixon texts me as I get into Luke’s vehicle. Everything cool?
Yeah, on our way now.
“That Nixon?” Luke asks me, clearly paranoid.
“No, why?”
“Just wondering.”
“I don’t talk to Nixon outside of work.”
He looks out the windshield, like he doesn’t believe me and doesn’t respond. I can sense that he’s holding something back, maybe that’s why he really came to my house.
“So we never got to finish our conversation from the other night.”
Fuck!
I know right where he is headed with this and I grab my phone, texting Nixon again quickly, Call Luke and distract him ‘til we get there, please.
Not a second later, Luke’s phone rings and he pulls it out of his pocket. “It’s Nixon,” he tells me.
“You better answer it, he might be cancelling with how flaky he is.”
I can hear Nixon being all friendly in the background and Luke is laughing and playing right into him. I’m thankful for Nixon, as I’m not ready to talk to Luke right now.
As we pull up to Nixon’s, I grab my bag and Luke follows me. Nixon opens the door, the guys ending their phone call, and he is wearing a pair of board shorts and nothing else. I swallow, acting like I’m not fazed. “Come in,” he says, and I ask him, “Can I use your restroom to change?”
“Sure, let me show you where it’s at. Luke, you wanna beer, man?”
“Yeah,” Luke says staring out at the water as he wanders out on Nixon’s deck.
Nixon and I walk off and the second that the door is closed, he asks me, “What the fuck is going on?”
“I don’t know. He keeps asking me about you. Then brought up the bar that other night and us not finishing our conversation. It’s like he knows something’s up and is mulling it over in his head, trying to catch us. Maybe that’s why he wanted the three of us to hang out tonight.”
“Or he wants to see us together outside of work. I bet Guy told him something’s up after our dinner with him and Macey.”
“You think?” I ask him, concerned.
“Yeah, maybe. But don’t worry, Luke’s the kind of guy who doesn’t want to step on anyone’s toes. So if I need to I’m gonna let him know what’s up.”
“Nixon, don’t tell him like this. It’ll hurt him; let me do it. I’ll let him drive me home and tell him on the way.”
“Okay, I won’t tell him, babe.” He leans down and kisses me, then I take my suit of out my bag and he scoffs at it. “For real, Cameron?”
“What? It’s the best I had.”
“Where’s your wetsuit?” he scolds me.
“At work.”
Then he swats my ass, and I change into a sexy red one-piece and walk out back finding the guys talking about the waves and looking at the bottom of one of Nixon’s boards.
Luke’s jaw hits the floor when he sees me and Nixon pats his back. “Why don’t we watch Cam for a bit, so you can see what she looks for and how she pops up, okay?”
“Sure,” Luke responds and I have no clue why Nixon would want to have him staring at me. “I waxed this one for you.” He hands me my board and we act like it’s his. “Thanks.”
“Of course. Check out the ground swell from the storm.”
I nod and glance back at the two guys and really hope Nixon doesn’t end up hurting him. Don’t get me wrong, Luke is adorable and at one point I thought there was a spark there. But when Nixon came back it made me question everything and realize that he’s only my friend, nothing more. I need someone like Nixon who’s gonna tell me how things are and have my back and treat me the way only he can. Like tonight, when he called Luke to distract him for me, he didn’t question me and wasn’t jealous or anything. He was looking out for me and us. The way my old Nixon did, and that’s how I know…I’m falling for him all over again.
20
Nixon
“So did you surf a lot growing up?” I ask Luke.
“Nah, not much, I tried it a few summers when I was young. My uncle was big into it and would always teach me when he visited, but then when he left, I didn’t have anyone to show me what I needed to do to get better, so that kind of ended it. What about you?”
“Oh, man, we grew up in the water. Every day, from sunup ‘til sundown.”
“Who’s we?” he asks.
“Oh, Me, Cam, and her brother, Conner.”
“So you three were close?”
“Yeah, really close,” I tell him as I watch her sexy ass paddling out. Thinking of all the time we spent together makes me think about how bad I fucking hurt her when I left.
“Why’d you leave her then?”
“It was the biggest mistake of my life,” I tell him, hoping that if he knows I regret it, he’ll back down.
“You still like her?”
“How could you not? Look at her.” Cam turns and begins to paddle forward, and as much as I want to tell him everything about us, I don’t. I’ll let Cam do it. Instead, I change the subject, hoping he’s capable enough to catch my drift.
“See the way she reads the wave, then digs down into it with her arms and right when it caps, she catches it out of the corner of her eye and pops up, letting it pull her board where it wants as she balances on top of it?”
“Yeah, man. She’s fuckin’ good.”
“She’s the best. She’s got sick surfin’ skills, always has,” I tell him, my mind going back to us fucking out on the ocean the other day. She could win a Guinness World Record for balancing the best on a surf board.
“For sure, man. But you would never try and pursue things with her again, would you?”
I look him in the eye, stunned by his question. He’s got some fucking balls. Is he seriously asking me for permission to be with her?
“What did you say to him?” Cameron asks me as Luke drives off.
“I told him what’s up.”
“Come on, Nixon, tell me exactly what you said. He wouldn’t even talk to me.”
“Then that’s his problem.”
Grabbing us two fresh beers from the fridge, I walk out back. I can still hear that little prick’s voice in my head, “You would never try and pursue things with her again, would you?”
“Here,” I tell her and pass her a beer, pulling her into an embrace. She takes it from me as I kiss her lips.
“You wanna sit?”
“Sure,” she says and we sit together in one of the lounge chairs, with her resting comfortably between my legs. I have to be honest and tell her what happened.
“Just tell me one thing first, does he know about us?”
“Oh, baby, it’s way worse than that.”
“What does that mean?” She sits forward and looks back at me, confusion plastered across her face. Yanking her body backwards, I hold her tightly against my chest and she reluctantly settles.
“He’s…he’s in fucking love with you, Cam.” It kills me to say the words, to think that another man loves her, but I have to be honest.
“What the fuck?” she blurts out, her heart racing inside her body, the blood pulsating though her limbs against my skin. “No, Nixon, you must’ve heard him wrong. What did he say to you?”
I shake my head, not wanting to get into it again, but continue on, for her. “He questioned me, like he was asking for permission to be with you. I think he thought if he heard it from me, that I was over you, he could convince you to be with him. And I told him what’s up, that we’re back together.”
“No, you didn’t. Why would you do that?”
“I had to. I wasn’t about to let him think he had a shot with you. He told me plain and simple that he loves you and realized it when you two slept together, which he also told me about. Fucking disturbing to talk to a man who’s in
love with your girl.”
“Are you fucking around with me, Nixon? ‘Cause if you are, this is not funny.”
“No, baby, I wish I were. The guy was almost in tears.”
“Fuck,” she says and I tell her, “I’m sorry I told him, I know you wanted to. But it all got me thinking, and I understand if you want to be with someone like him.”
“Jesus fucking Christ, Nixon, have you lost your goddamn mind?” she scolds me and I kiss the top of her hair, not really knowing what to say.
“When it comes to you, I lost my mind a long time ago, babe.”
“Do you hear yourself? What you’re suggesting is simply…wrong. I don’t want to be with anyone else but you, fuckups and all.”
“Are you sure? If you wanna take things slow and maybe date other people, I’d understand.”
“Shut the fuck up! Don’t you get it?” she asks me, turning around and looking me in the eye. “Even if you were to leave me again tomorrow and break my heart all over again, this would all be worth the pain. You are it for me.”
She looks at me through a smile, but a glaze of agony is in her eyes and it’s not about us, it’s still about Luke. Taking her chin in between my thumb and forefinger, I bring my lips down to hers, the connection that we share so strong.
“I have to talk to him, I need him to understand why. But what am I supposed to say to him?” she asks me.
“You’ve gotta be honest and do it soon.”
She nods and I hope she can let him know herself that she’s not interested in him and that we really are back together. I felt like as I was telling him, he didn’t believe me.
21
Cameron
“You gonna talk to Luke before we go out?” Nixon asks me.
“Yeah, especially with Seth here, I don’t want things to be über fucking awkward.”
I tried to talk to Luke this morning, but he was super late, which I know he did on purpose and he wouldn’t return any of my calls or texts last night.
“Did you ever think I’d be the one you wouldn’t have to worry about?” Nixon asks me, and I so want to kiss him.
“Never, and I really appreciate it.”
Seth showed up at our station this afternoon and put a total wrench into my plan of talking to Luke at lunch. As I gaze across the facility, Seth’s being all sociable with everyone. I catch Luke staring at me. “We could always bail on tonight,” I tell Nixon, but deep down, knowing now is the time to get it over with.
“Yeah, right, now put your big girl pants on and grab Luke…well, don’t physically grab him.”
I can’t keep myself from slapping his shoulder and he flinches, like I have some strength that hurts him or something.
“Wish me luck. Now get your ass over there and make friendly with Seth. And please keep things chill tonight, okay?”
“Okay, but you’re driving with me. I’m gonna make you suck me off on the way.”
He walks off and I pack everything up into my bag as I head towards the guys. Luke spots me on the way and I can see the awkwardness already. “Hey, can I talk to you?” I ask him.
“Yeah, sure,” he says and puts his hands in his pockets and walks with me as we go over to the other side of the shop. Walking away, we can still see the group, and I pay particular attention to Nixon. He’s so hot and confident, he’s laughing with Seth and doesn’t give Luke or me a second look. But that’s the thing about Nixon—he’s not fazed by other guys. He trusts that I’ll get this done, as he should.
Forcing myself to look away, I tell Luke, “First off, I never meant to hurt you.”
“I’m sure you didn’t.” He’s still distant and clearly hurt.
“Please don’t make this awkward,” I tell him.
“No, Cam, you’ve done that all on your own.” He finally looks at me. I can see the pain in his eyes.
“I didn’t mean to.”
“Why would you get back with him after everything he did to you?”
“Luke, have you ever been with someone who when you’re together makes you feel alive?”
“Just you.”
“Come on, we hooked up once in the heat of the moment. I meant a past girlfriend.” He shakes his head and I don’t know what to say to him. “Well, Nixon is that guy for me.”
“Maybe right now he is, but he’s not in it for the long haul.
“Luke, you’re entitled to your opinion, but I don’t need to justify to you why I’m with him.”
“Maybe you don’t. But I care for you and only want what’s best for you.”
“And I appreciate that, I really do, but you can’t care for me, more than a friend.”
“Why not? There’s something going on between us. I know you feel it too, and I’m tired of sitting back and waiting for you to make the next move.”
“Luke, us sleeping together was a huge mistake. We were drunk and made a bet that led from one thing to the next. You’re my friend and someone I care a lot about, nothing more.” He shakes his head and looks up at the rafters on the building. “It’s okay, Cam. You don’t need to lie anymore.”
“I’m not, Luke, you’re…you’re like a brother to me.”
“Would you sleep with your brother?” he asks me.
“It was a mistake, and I’m sorry that you thought I wanted more.”
His eyebrows contort as he processes my words. “You can deny it all you want, but I’ve felt it for a while now, and I know you do too. I can’t help but think if he wasn’t back that you’d give in to me.”
“Luke, I’m not denying anything, I’m being one hundred percent honest. You’re a sweet guy. You really are, but I’m meant to be with Nixon.”
“That’s a mistake. He’s going to flake out and break your heart again. He’ll hurt you like he did before, then what?”
“Then I guess you can tell me, ‘I told you so.’”
“That’s not good enough for me, don’t you get what I’m saying? I…I have feelings for you, real feelings. I love you, Cam.”
“You don’t love me, Luke. You love the thought of us together. Don’t let your head get you carried away with what’s not real. I’m so sorry, I really am.”
“When he breaks your heart, Cam, don’t come crying to me about it!” He storms off, angry, and I catch Nixon glaring at him.
“You guys ready?” Luke yells to the group and they all head out on his cue.
Walking up to Nixon, he kisses my cheek and says, “Didn’t go so well?”
“No, not at all, and now I’ve gotta tell Guy.”
“He won’t care, you know that.” Nixon and I walk out and Guy shouts over to us from his car, “Hey, why don’t we all roll together?” We climb in the back, Seth is already inside and Luke is silent up front. I know Nixon will be pissed—he had other plans for the drive.
Piling in next to Seth, I don’t say much and feel like the odd man out as they get lost in their own conversation.
“So how did you two originally meet?” Seth asks me and I look over at Nixon waiting for him to respond.
“We grew up together.”
“You seem to have gotten past the hatred that Cam originally had when you came back.”
Nixon smiles at me, clearly thinking the same thing that I am…if he only knew. “What can I say, I’m hard to resist,” he says and places his hand on my thigh, clearly visible to Seth, and I don’t dare put a stop to it.
Luke turns the music up, but Seth catches right on, smiling at me with gladness and affection. I was closest with him before Nixon came back, so he only wants to see me happy in life, and I’ve never been better than the way things are between Nixon and me currently.
“Hey baby,” Nixon says, waiting for me as I exit the bathroom, tipsy. He pushes me into the corner, his lips are on mine, and I surrender. As much as I like hanging out with the guys, well, everyone minus Luke tonight, I’ve missed my and Nixon’s alone time.
“God, I want you,” he says through a kiss, his forehead resting against mine,
and I close my eyes breathing him in.
“Let’s go,” I tell him and he shakes his head.
“We can’t, you’ve gotta tell Guy first.”
“I’ve tried and every time I talk, Luke cuts me off or drags him away, like it’s a game and we are both vying for his affection. I shouldn’t be punished like this because Luke has a crush on me.” I push past Nixon and he pulls me back, laughing at my antics. “Stay calm. You’re drunk, and so is he. Finish your game of pool and get Guy aside, then we’ll get out of here.”
Slowly, I nod and he takes my face into his hand. “I can’t wait to fuck you, Cam.”
“Jesus Christ!” Guy says, rounding the corner, and Nixon lets go of me.
Whelp, now he knows.
“Are you two fucking?” My face turns beet red. “For real!” he blurts, “Does Luke know about this shit?”
Nixon is quiet, letting me handle this, and I say to Guy “Yeah, he knows.”
“And he’s cool with it?”
“Not exactly.”
“You know he’s in love with you, right?”
“Oh my God, he told you too?” I shout and Nixon holds me back in the corner as I want to go and yell at Luke for professing his love of me to everyone.
“Don’t. Wait ‘til you’re both sober.”
“How long has this thing been going on?” Guy questions us.
“I don’t know.” My words are slurred and the room is starting to spin. I lean on Nixon, just wanting to go home and he says to him, “Not long, we’ve been trying to tell you all night, but Luke’s been keeping you away.” My eyes are heavy and Nixon says. “I think I should get her home.”
“For sure, man.”
We walk around him and he says to us, “For what it’s worth, I’m really happy for you both.”
I go back and give him a hug, Nixon bumps his fist, then we slip out the front and thankfully find a waiting cab. Climbing in the back, I rest my head on Nixon’s chest as he runs his fingers through my hair. The safety of his arms around me puts me right to sleep.
22
