Abbie opens the door looking dead tired and worried. “Mimi, what’s going on? Is everyone okay?”
I push my way in and lock the deadbolt behind me. “Abbie, do you think the royal family are reptilians?” After all, why not just sound completely ridiculous from the get go? I don’t know how you’d ease into a conversation like this other than just going for it.
Abbie gasps and looks around like she’s searching for a hidden camera, before pulling me over to the sofa and demanding. “Have you seen something? You know, they supposedly shape-shift when they get tired or angry. They can morph into lizards before your eyes!”
I did not know that and if my creep tank wasn’t already filled to capacity, this information would have certainly done the trick. “Why in the world do you think all this?”
My young friend responds, “My roommate in college.” She further explains, “Kathy is very quiet and introverted. I’ve never known a saner person.” Then she explains, “She’s had contact with aliens since she was a small child and they told her.”
“What? What do mean she’s had contact? Did they abduct her?”
Abbie answers, “Hers wasn’t typical gray-style abduction.” She’s referencing the creepy little gray aliens that steal people out of their beds and perform experiments on them. OMG, talk about being too freaked out to ever sleep again. “She used to have visitations from entities she called the Light Beings. They claim to be one of only two alien races who wish good things for our planet.”
“Wait, what? How many different kinds of ETs are here?” I look around for a paper sack to breathe into.
“Hundreds have visited but thirty-eight have taken up residency.”
“WHAT? They’re living here?”
My fellow conspirator explains, “Not only are they living here but some of them are working with our governments.”
I place my nose on Sophie’s head and inhale her innocent baby smell. It works to calm me. “What in the world are they doing with our governments?”
She answers, “They’re giving us information on technology in exchange for permission to do things they want to do, like kidnap people and experiment on them.”
“Abbie, that’s just ridiculous! How can you believe something like that? Our government is in place to take care of people, not farm us out to ET’s for nefarious purposes.”
She shrugs her shoulders, “What if the government wasn’t given a choice? What if the ET’s had the power to just take over our planet if we didn’t agree to their terms? At least with the government working with them, we have some idea of what they’re capable of. The real question is, if they’re more advanced than we are, and we need to assume they are if they’ve been able to travel to us, then how would we have stopped them?”
I can’t even begin to absorb this horror, so I ask, “What about the reptilians? What does your friend say about them?” I still haven’t decided whether or not to believe what Abbie says about her friend is the truth. I mean, it’s one thing to think your husband might be a giant lizard set on planetary domination, it’s quite another to accept this nonsense about thirty-eight different kinds of other worldly creatures walking amongst us, right?
The nanny responds, “According to her, our planet is about to be undeniably introduced to the presence of aliens. They’ve been planning their unveiling for several years. Once that happens, an escalated bid for planetary control will take place. As in, the powers that be will fight it out with each other. At that time, the reptilians will step up and make a play for ownership of earth.”
“Abbie, this sounds like a bad movie. There is no way something this absurd is going to happen.”
“Why?” she asks. “Why won’t it? Incredible things have existed on this planet long before man did. If you can believe in something as fantastic as dinosaurs, why can’t you believe in this?”
I stammer, “Because we have proof dinosaurs existed!”
“But what if we hadn’t found their bones yet? People would think you were crazy to think giant lizards once inhabited the earth.” She’s got a point. She continues, “What happens when the mothership lands in front of the White House for the entire world to see? You’ll have your proof. What will you believe then?”
I feel like I’ve just stepped through the looking glass. If even a fraction of what we’re talking about is true, my whole life has changed forever, just when I have another person to protect and care for. I am so screwed.
Chapter 51
The next morning, Abbie and I don’t make any mention of my nocturnal visit, but we do exchange knowing looks. I stare at my husband with suspicious eyes. Over coffee at the kitchen table, I ask, “Elliot, have you ever been underground?”
“You mean like in a mining shaft or something?”
Interesting, maybe mining shafts are the entrance to his other world. So I answer, “Sure, like a mining shaft?”
He responds, “I never have. Truthfully, I would be afraid of a collapse.”
Is he saying this to throw me off his trail, or is it true? Of course he probably doesn’t know I’m suspicious, yet, but I have to be careful, I don’t know the extent of his powers. So I ask, “What do you think of lizards?”
He looks up from his magazine and asks, “In what regard? As in would I like one for a pet, a belt, dinner?”
“Any of the above,” I answer.
The Englishman answers, “None of them. I can’t see cuddling up with one on the couch. I guess I’d eat one if I was starving and that’s all there was, but I’m not going to go out of my way to cook one for dinner, and I prefer leather belts to reptile belts.”
I don’t feel any better after hearing his answers. After all, maybe reptiles don’t like to cuddle and that’s why he wouldn’t want to snuggle up with one, although he does cuddle with me, which could be a result of him trying to hide his true self or it could be that he has enough human DNA that he actually likes to cuddle. Ah, my head! I have got to stop thinking like this.
So I change the subject, “Do you have any other ideas for a middle name for Sophie?” As easy as it was for us to find her first name, it’s been equally hard to settle on a middle name.
“How about Prudence? I’ve always loved that name and then there’s the Beatles song, Dear Prudence. Good song.”
Elliot’s Englishness is showing. He comes up with names like Prudence, Theodora and Imogen and I’m thinking things like Marie, Elizabeth and Ann. Although Elizabeth is now off the table on the chance the queen is really the ruler of the lizard people as well as the English monarch.
Before we can get into a good heated debate about middle names Elliot’s cell phone rings. He looks at me and declares, “It’s Beatrice.”
He answers, “Beatrice, how are you?” Clearly it isn’t his old flame because he changes that to, “Clive, good to hear from you.” Elliot gets up from the table to pour himself another cup of coffee while he talks. I get caught up in my own thoughts and don’t listen to anything he’s saying. After all, I’ve the weight of the intergalactic world on my shoulders.
When my husband hangs up, he’s in tears. I demand, “Elliot, what’s going on? Is Beatrice okay?”
Elliot sits next to me at the table. “That was Clive.”
“Oh, Elliot, please tell me the chemo’s working. I need to know it’s working.” I can’t take any more unsettling news right now. I don’t think my brain can handle it.
Elliot shakes his head sadly and whispers, “Beatrice died last night in her sleep.”
I’m totally confused, “What do you mean she died? She was having chemo, she’s getting better!”
Tears flow freely down my husband’s face. “Apparently they found out two months ago the treatment wasn’t doing anything and Beatrice decided to stop. She wanted to spend her last days with Clive, without throwing up all the time.” Then he sobs, “They didn’t tell us because they didn’t want to burden us with news we could do nothing about.” Then he adds, “Especially when we were so exci
ted about our little girl coming into the world.”
Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God! I get up, hand Elliot the baby and start pacing. I don’t know what to do with myself. I feel like I need to scream. I need to DO something and there’s nothing I can do. I release a gut wrenching moan and crumple to the ground. I cannot believe how incredibly unfair life is. I’m so devastated and confused, I feel like I’m going to go out of my mind.
Elliot calls for Abbie and hands her Sophie. I’m so distraught I don’t even care that someone other than my child’s parents are holding her. My husband gathers me in his arms and embraces me. Our tears flow freely and neither of us makes any move to get up off the kitchen floor.
I finally find my voice and manage, “Her middle name will be Beatrice. Sophie Beatrice Fielding.” Then I choke on my breath and become completely unglued.
Chapter 52
There’s no way in this world I can go to Beatrice’s funeral. Sophie is too young to fly and I can’t stand to be away from her longer than it takes for a quick shower. Elliot and I decide he will go and his parents volunteer to accompany him. Pip, Abbie and I will stay home and hold down the fort. I keep waiting for a panic attack to hit at the thought of Elliot being gone, but thank God, it never does.
My husband and his parents depart this morning. Elliot plans to be there for four days. I know he wants to stay longer to take care of some business in London, but he’s worried about leaving me for too long. I don’t encourage him to dally, either. I’m equally concerned about how I’m going to hold it together while he’s an ocean away.
Both Pip and Abbie stay pretty close and check up on me often. I fritter away the time by holding the baby, nursing the baby, watching her sleep and perusing Amazon. I’m afraid to watch television for fear some new information will come my way that I can’t handle. So I start to plan what I’ll need when the aliens take over. Yes, I know how that sounds, but better to be safe than sorry, right?
I decide The Preppy Prepper is right. You can never be too prepared. Where I was once contented to just listen to her on the radio, that’s no longer the case. I order all six of her books from Deadly Kilt to The Preppy Pink Pantry. The Preppy Prepper never shares what she’s prepping for, but she’s going to be ready for anything, which makes me think, I need a gun.
Don’t go freaking out on me here. I’m as big a fan of gun control laws as anyone. I certainly don’t think I need a missile launcher. In truth, I might, but I concede it would not be prudent for that to be legal. So if I ever require one, I’ll just have to purchase it on the black market. I scour the Internet for local gun sales and find what I’m looking for. I discover it will take three days to perform a background check so I start the process.
I decide on a Glock 37 because the salesperson uses adjectives like, big-bore technology, large caliber and packed performance. All those descriptions sound like something I’ll need if I’m called on to protect my family from alien invaders.
While I’m waiting for my background check to clear, I start to think about how society is going to spiral downhill when everyone learns we’re not alone on the third rock from the sun. I figure no one will bother going to work anymore, so food is going to be in short supply, which is how I come to order $18,000 worth of staples from Beprepared.com. I get everything from freeze dried milk, eggs, butter and prepared meals to chem-splash protective suits in case of a bio-emergency. I’m not even sure when one of those suits would come in handy, but they’re under fifteen bucks each, so I get ten.
I order gas masks and water cleaning pellets, Mylar blankets and burn ointments. All in all, I’m prepping for my whole family, Elliot’s family (if we decide they aren’t aliens themselves), Abbie and Richard. I’m going to need more guns; one isn’t going to do the trick.
I decide to trust Abbie to watch Sophie while she naps so I can check out the basement situation. I didn’t even go down there before we bought the house. I realize this makes no sense, but I’m really squeamish when it comes to subterranean anything, hence the added wig factor about the reptilians.
Abbie has instructions to not leave Sophie’s side for anything. She’s not to read a book or look out the window. She’s to stare intently at my daughter to make sure she keeps breathing. If she needs to use the bathroom, she’s to call me on my cell phone and I will come up from the basement to take over.
With these important directives given, I gather an armload of cleaning supplies and head down under to see what waits. I know the basement is unfinished and I’m expecting the worst, so I’m nicely surprised to find it’s relatively clean. There are no earthen floors which greatly reduces my fear that someone buried bodies underneath. There are no manacles attached to cement walls and there aren’t any spider webs. All-in-all, it looks like it will make the perfect storage area once my prepping supplies start to arrive.
The basement is sectioned off into a variety of rooms. If we ever decide we need an extra five thousand feet of living space, I don’t think it would take too much to make it habitable. I decide to store my supplies in the room directly under the living room. It’s far enough away from the stairs that I’m pretty sure no one will ever stumble across it unless they’re looking for it.
While I’m mapping out storage, I decide to go onto Costco.com and order a gun safe for the additional weaponry I’ll be buying. I wonder if hand grenades can be purchased on the open market. I make a note to Google that. Also, I’m going to need to stock up on bullets, lots and lots of bullets and maybe a spear thrower. Note to self: look up poison darts and how to acquire them.
Abbie does a fine job of watching Sophie. When I climb back up from the depths, I find her right where I left her, intently watching my child. This trial does a lot for instilling confidence that I might be able to let our nanny help care for our child, someday.
My family has done their best staying away, as per my request, but I know they’re chomping at the bit to come over and check on us, especially with Elliot and his parents away. So when the doorbell rings later in the afternoon, I place bets with myself on who it is. My guess is my mom or Renée. Ginger is overwhelmed caring for the triplets and a trip out means at least an hour of preparation, and Muffy spends all her time at The Buff Muff with Kevin these days.
So imagine my surprise when I peek through the peephole to find Richard at my threshold. I swing the door wide open and greet, “Richard! What are you doing here?”
My sweet friend kisses my cheek and replies, “I’m here for my weekend wooing of your sister-in-law. Did you forget?”
With impending planetary demise on the forefront of my mind, I had forgotten. In fact the last time I saw Richard, I was only mildly insane compared to what I am now. Who would have thought I’d be missing the days right after Sophie was born. I thought they were so horrible, and then the aliens hit.
I invite Richard in and offer to make him a cup of tea. Once he’s settled, I tell him about Beatrice. He’s very sorry to hear the news and offers, “She was a lovely woman. It’s so sad when someone that young passes.”
We sit quietly for a moment, both lost in our thoughts, when Pip walks in. “Richard, what are you doing here?”
He stands to greet her and replies, “I plan on visiting over the weekends to spend more time with everyone.” His eyes twinkle when he looks at her.
Pip stutters, “Well then, I’ll just leave you alone.”
My dashing friend responds, “Certainly you’re part of everyone, aren’t you? Why don’t you sit down and join us?”
My sister-in-law isn’t sure how to handle his invitation. After all, Richard has gone out of his way to avoid her until now. You can see she’s not sure of his motives. She finally concedes, “I guess I could stand a cup of tea.”
Richard only sits down again once Pip is settled. He asks her, “How is the lovely Miss Sophie doing?”
Pip glances at me before answering, “One would assume she’s fine. But no one really ever sees her.”
“Mimi,” Ri
chard begins, “are you still hiding your baby away from everyone?”
I respond, “As you can see clearly, she’s right here.” I point to the cloth wrap that I wear as a harness. It keeps Sophie attached to me whenever I’m not nursing her or when she’s not in bed sleeping. I add, “She is mine, Richard. I have no contractual obligations to let any of you hold her.”
He exchanges a look with Pip before asking, “What does your doctor say about your behavior?”
I defend, “She’s says it’s completely normal and that every woman responds differently to postpartum.” I don’t explain that I’m due for my checkup soon, where I will beg her to fix me. That’s none of his business.
I do realize my behavior has been a cause of great concern for those who love me. I appreciate they’re worried, but I do not want their input. They have absolutely no idea what I’m going through or how hard I struggle to appear somewhat normal. I’m not going to let any of them in on it, either. My greatest fear is they’ll discover how unhinged I am and take Sophie away from me.
After a couple more moments of chit chat, I excuse myself on the grounds of needing a nap. Although instead of heading to my bedroom, I go directly to Elliot’s office and start researching crossbows.
Chapter 53
Dr. Fermin assures me postpartum eventually leaves, but if it’s as bad as I’m telling her, and heaven knows I’m not sharing everything, I have to prepare myself that it may last as long as a year. There is no way on God’s green earth I can feel like this for an entire year without peeling my skin off one layer at a time.
She says I have two options; one is to take medication, which will get into my breast milk and the other is to start actively working out in hopes of flooding my body with natural endorphins to help get me through.
I certainly don’t want to quit nursing my child and I most definitely don’t want to taint her milk, so I decide to hire a trainer to come to the house. I can’t go to the gym because I’m not going to leave the baby in anyone else’s care. If the trainer comes to me, I reason, I can have Abbie keep an eye on Sophie wherever I’m working out.
Mimi Plus Two (The Mimi Chronicles Book 2) Page 21
