He tapped in time as the singing and finger clicking continued. ‘They’re really uplifting, aren’t they?’
The four boys looked back at their teacher with distaste.
‘Boy bands should be machine-gunned,’ Alfie said. ‘They’re singing to a backing track. How’s that even music?’
‘I bet they win as well,’ Tristan said contemptuously. ‘I saw their teacher nattering to the judges all through lunch.’
Mr Currie spoke firmly. ‘Tristan, if Womb 101 win it will be because they’re really talented. Have you any idea how much practice it takes to sing and dance like that?’
Up on stage, Womb 101 were doing the nana-nana chorus at the end of ‘What Makes You Beautiful’. As the song closed, the lead singer moved to the back of the stage and did a full somersault, climaxing with his arms spread wide and two band mates kneeling on either side.
‘Thank you,’ the big guy shouted, as the stage lights caught beads of sweat trickling down his forehead.
There weren’t enough people in the hall to call it an eruption, but there was loads of clapping and a bunch of parents stood up and cheered.
‘Nice footwork, Andre!’ a woman shouted.
Alfie and Tristan made retching sounds as Mr Currie walked off.
‘Currie’s got a point though,’ Jay said. ‘Boy bands are dreck, but they’ve all got good voices and they must have rehearsed that dance routine for weeks.’
Tristan shook his head and tutted. ‘Jay, you always agree with what Mr Currie says. I know half the girls in our class fancy him, but I’m starting to think you do as well.’
Alfie stood up and shouted as Womb 101 jumped off the stage and began walking towards the back of the room to grab drinks. ‘You suck!’
Jay backed up as two of Womb 101’s backing singers steamed over, knocking empty plastic chairs out of the way. They didn’t look hard on stage, prancing around singing about how great some girl’s hair was, but the physical reality was two burly sixteen-year-olds from one of London’s toughest schools.
The one who stared down Alfie was the Asian guy with a tear-you-in-half torso.
‘What you say?’ he demanded, as his chest muscles swelled. ‘If I see any of you boys on my manor, you’d better run!’
The boy slammed his fist into his palm as the other one pointed at Alfie before drawing the finger across his throat and stepping backwards. Alfie looked like he’d filled his BHS briefs and didn’t breathe until the big dudes were well clear.
‘Are you mental?’ Tristan hissed, as he gave Alfie a hard shoulder punch. ‘Those guys are from Melon Lane estate. Everyone’s psycho up there.’
Mr Currie had missed Alfie shouting You suck, but did see Tristan hitting his brother as he got back holding a polystyrene coffee cup.
‘Hitting is not cool,’ Mr Currie said. ‘And I’m tired of the negativity from you guys. You’re playing after this next lot, so you’d better go backstage and get your gear ready.’
The next group was an all-girl trio. They dressed punk, but managed to murder a Paramore track by making it sound like bad Madonna. Setting up Tristan’s drum kit on stage took ages and the woman judge made Jay even more nervous when she looked at her watch and shook her elaborately hatted head.
After wasting another minute faffing around with a broken strap on Alfie’s bass guitar the four members of Brontobyte nodded to each other, ready to play. When the boys rehearsed, Salman usually sang and played, but Alfie was a better musician, so for the competition he was on bass and Salman would just do vocals.
‘Hi, everyone,’ Salman said. ‘We’re contestant nine, from Carleton Road School. Our group is called Brontobyte and this is a song we wrote ourselves. It’s called “Christine”.’
A song I wrote, Jay thought, as he took a deep breath and positioned his fingers on the guitar.
They’d been in the school hall since ten that morning. Now it all came down to the next three minutes.
HODDER CHILDREN’S BOOKS
First published in Great Britain in 2016
by Hodder & Stoughton
This ebook edition published in 2016
Text copyright © Robert Muchamore, 2016
The moral rights of the author have been asserted.
All characters and events in this publication, other than those clearly in the public domain, are fictitious and any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means, without the prior permission in writing of the publisher, nor be otherwise circulated in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition including this condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.
A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library
eBook conversion by PDQ Digital Media Solutions, Bungay, Suffolk
ISBN 978 1 444 91413 9
Hodder Children’s Books
An imprint of Hachette Children’s Group
Part of Hodder & Stoughton
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CONTENTS
1. Shorts
2. Balls
3. Trauma
4. Maggots
5. Boxes
6. Hose
7. Lynx
8. Skip
9. Arrival
10. Tales
11. Uniform
12. Scarper
13. Fence
14. Flood
15. Games
16. Staples
17. Pawn
18. Brother
19. Squelch
20. Bags
21. Judo
22. Rocky
23. Sky
24. Smart
25. Teeth
26. Hostel
27. Drawl
28. Bunks
29. Tapes
30. Structure
31. Medical
32. Weight
33. Best
34. Black
35. Border
36. Pussy
37. Surrender
38. Cluster
39. Tents
40. Bromance
Epilogue
Sneak Peek
Copyright
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New Guard (CHERUB) Page 22
