by JournalStone
The whole room had a darkness about it, with wine-colored curtains covering the only window and furniture carved out of dark mahogany. Even the comforter on the bed was a deep red. She would have preferred stripping it, sleeping in her own sheets, but she barely had enough energy to pull back the blankets and crawl in before she was fast asleep.
* * *
The next few days were spent unpacking, rearranging furniture, driving the mile into town to get supplies and settling into their new home. The fatigue she felt on their first night had disappeared after waking the following morning. She still felt the sadness that had plagued her for months but the move had spurred a new hopefulness in her. She and Kevin were behaving like ants rebuilding a colony. So much work had to be done. The porch steps had to be fixed, the boards had to be pried off the windows, all the carpets and floors needed cleaning. The structure of the house was in such neglect but Justine could tell it once felt love. She kept finding little details, like a single tile, patterned with roses amongst all the beige tiles on the kitchen floor, throughout the house. There were also roses carved into the fireplace mantel and a stained glass window with roses, in the upstairs bathroom. The roses had a romance about them, as if someone had put them there as a gift for their lover.
Justine was sitting at the table in the kitchen, sipping coffee, when she heard Kevin calling her from the attic. A smile lit her face. Something in his voice suddenly made her heart race with excitement. She put down her mug and sprinted up the stairs.
He was standing in the attic beside a bay window. The view was of the back of the property, studded with old maple, oak and chestnut trees, alight in autumn colors and stretching on for over an acre, until it gave way to the edge of the forest. White-tipped mountain peaks stood like sentinels on the horizon. However, the view of his love, breathless and face flushed as she entered the room, was more alluring to Kevin than any natural wonder. He had known she was the girl he wanted to marry since their first date.
Justine rushed over to his side. “Well, what’s got you so excited?”
He took her hand. “Here, have a seat,” he said, motioning for her to sit on the bench in front of the window.
“I know we planned to pick this out together but this somehow seems like the perfect ring for you.”
Justine’s eyes widened as she watched Kevin get down on one knee and open his fingers to reveal a gold ring with a stunning diamond in the middle. He placed the ring in her palm so she could examine it in detail. Tiny, intricately carved leaves decorated the band and the diamond was set within a tiny, gold rose.
Justine managed to pry her eyes away from it to look at Kevin. “It’s absolutely perfect,” she breathed.
He grinned and slipped the ring on her finger. A chill, like an electric shock, went down Justine’s spine.
“A little jumpy, are we?”
She shook her head. “Just excited,” she held up her hand to admire how the ring looked on her finger; it was a perfect fit. “Where did you get this?”
“It was in the top drawer of that desk over there,” he pointed to a large desk crammed up against several other pieces of furniture. “I was attempting to straighten out the attic. There is such a great view from up here; it would be a shame to let this room go to waste.”
He lowered his eyes and then brought them up again to meet hers. “So, what do you think? I know this ring is unexpected but it’s so perfect,” he paused. “Will you marry me?”
“Absolutely!” she cried and threw her arms around him.
Kevin sighed. It was so good to see her happy again. “Justine, I think we really can start over in this place. We’ll settle into this home and make new friends and no one will even have to know about our past and what we went through with the baby.”
Her eyes darkened. “Why would you even mention that right now?” she pulled away from him. “Why would you do that?”
“Honey, I’m so sorry. It just came out. I love you. Please don’t be upset. Everything is so beautiful right now. Let’s just be happy,” he pulled her back to him.
“Okay,” she conceded, but the sadness had already returned in her voice.
* * *
The house felt empty and eerily quiet with Kevin away at work. She was sitting on her bed, trying to motivate herself to unpack her last few boxes. It was exciting for Kevin to be starting the new job teaching history at the high school but she was sad not to have her fiancé by her side during the day. Fiancé, she thought. She was looking forward to using that word, yet the title was bittersweet. In a way, she hated that being engaged and married mattered so much to people, particularly her former friends and family. When the baby died, just ninety minutes after it was born, her supposed loved ones blamed the death on her and Kevin’s sinful lifestyle. Her own mother had said, “This is what happens to people who don’t abide by God’s rules.”
Justine hadn’t planned on getting pregnant; she and Kevin had only been dating for two months. She couldn’t deny that aborting the baby had crossed her mind but she was raised with enough fire and brimstone to fear the spiritual consequence. And yet, if she had been able to foresee the social consequence—the scorn and disdain of her friends and family throughout her pregnancy—then maybe she would have made a different choice. In the end, her decision to keep the baby hadn’t mattered. Within ninety minutes, Justine had gone from witnessing the miracle of God-given life, to the horror that God could not possibly exist. What god would snatch the breath of a newborn baby and turn him a lifeless blue before his mother even had a chance to hold him in her arms? Her child had only been given ninety minutes to live on this Earth. What purpose could there be in that?
She flopped on the bed for a minute and took a few deep breaths to calm her nerves. A new life, she told herself. Kevin and I are starting a new life. She held up her hand to admire the ring. At first, she thought it was a little weird, wearing a ring that most surely had belonged to someone else, but after just a few days, the ring already felt like it belonged to her.
A door slammed downstairs—interrupting her thoughts. She heard a man’s voice call out her name but it didn’t sound like Kevin. She looked at the clock. It was only two-thirty; Kevin was not due home from work until four. “Who’s there?” she called. The cold shock of fear paralyzed her for just a moment as she heard the heavy thud of footsteps making their way up the stairs and then she was locking the bedroom door, grabbing her cell phone, and frantically dialing 911.
Kevin arrived home to find a cop car in the driveway. Alarmed, he rushed into the house to meet a uniformed officer, seated at the kitchen table with a distraught Justine. She looked so small and frail, sitting hunched over the table, but her eyes lit up as he entered the room. “Kevin!” she cried, and threw herself into his embrace.
“What’s going on?” he asked, his brow furrowed in concern and bewilderment.
The officer stood up, extending his hand. “I’m officer Ian Brady. We received an emergency call earlier this afternoon about a possible intruder. I can assure you, me and a fellow officer searched the house and the property grounds thoroughly. If there ever was an intruder here, he’s certainly long gone by now. Probably just some local kid, snooping around. This house has been empty for quite some time you know. Wouldn’t surprise me if some punk teens had been creeping around in here before you folks moved in.”
Kevin looked at Justine. “Was the front door locked? I locked it when I left this morning.”
Justine gave him a puzzled look. “I haven’t been out and I didn’t unlock the door.”
“Well,” Brady interjected, “There are no signs of forced entry, so you best double check the next time you think you’ve locked the door.”
Kevin shook his head. “I know I locked the door.”
Ian Brady shrugged. “It wouldn’t be the first time something strange has happened in this house. Just be glad it wasn’t as tragic as the last time we were called out here.”
Justine gasped, “What do you
mean?”
Brady cleared his throat. “Oh, ah, um, nothing you two need to worry about. I best be going,” he said, quickly, and gave a tip of his hat. “Call if you need anything else,” he said over his shoulder, walking out of the room.
Kevin turned to Justine. “What happened exactly?”
She felt her face flush. “I don’t know anymore,” she was feeling silly. At the time, she really had thought she had heard something but now she was wondering if her mind was playing tricks on her. The police officers hadn’t found a trace of a footprint or anything.
“I thought I heard a man call my name. I heard a door slam. Maybe I’m just stressed from the move and everything that’s happened.”
He gently kissed her forehead. “I’m here now. We’ll go over the house together and tomorrow we’ll make sure all the doors and windows are locked before I leave for work,” he hugged her tightly. “It’ll be okay.”
* * *
Justine triple checked all the locks after Kevin left for work the next morning. She was starting to feel better though. If anything, she was embarrassed at having called 911 over what had most likely been her overreacting to being alone in the house.
She decided what she needed that morning was a hot bath to ease her troubled mind. The upstairs bathroom was one of her favorite rooms in the whole house. Justine loved the crown molding, the high ceiling and the blue ceramic tiled floor. There was the stained-glass window with the roses, above the pedestal sink but also beside the claw-foot tub, a large window with the same view of the property as the bay window in the attic. Locked inside the bathroom, Justine felt safe. The hot water felt luxuriously silky as it enveloped her. She eased into the tub with a long sigh. The house was quiet and the scent of vanilla candles perfumed the air. She closed her eyes, had just started to relax when, she felt someone slip into the tub with her.
Her eyes flew open but she was alone. The water was calm and undisturbed. She tried to slow her pounding heart. She really needed to get a grip. As she sat up to grab a washcloth, she suddenly felt something brush her arm. This time she froze.
Justine.
She flinched. The voice was the same as the one she had heard the day before. It was deep and gravelly; a man’s voice.
Pick up the razor, Justine.
The voice seemed to be speaking right beside her but no one else was in the room. She wanted to believe this was all in her head, that she was having a mental breakdown from the stress of losing her baby, but there was something too real about what was happening. She looked nervously at the pink Bic razor on the ledge of the tub and found herself wishing she had splurged for the Mach 3 with blade protection.
Pick up the razor, Justine, or I will kill you.
Terrified, she picked up the razor. A rough hand tightened around her wrist and it yanked her, shaking, to her feet. She didn’t have time to think. All she could do was gasp as the grip tightened on her wrist. She watched in horror as the razor in her hand slowly lowered onto her inner thigh and the blade pressed down on her delicate skin.
I don’t like the way you look at him.
Justine wanted to let go of the razor but at this point, she didn’t have a choice. She winced as the blade pressed harder into her skin and the first drops of blood appeared. “Please,” she whimpered. Her hand suddenly jerked across her thigh, slicing the blades through her flesh. She screamed and the grip on her wrist faded away.
She dropped the razor and stood in the tub, watching the blood gush down her leg. The pain was sharp and hot. Tears streamed down her face as she tried to collect herself. The room had become silent again, save for her own racking sobs.
* * *
“Well, at least you don’t need stitches,” the doctor said, as he finished bandaging her leg. He frowned, “But I can’t believe you walked here with your leg like this. How far did you say you walked? A mile?”
Justine nodded. “Yes, we’re at the old house at the end of Pickard Lane.”
“Oh,” the doctor said.
She didn’t like the look on his face. “Do you know of the place?”
“Yes.” He looked into her eyes, as if searching for something. “Did you know the former owners?” he asked.
“Oh, no. We don’t know much about the house actually. Just that it was very convenient for us. It even came fully furnished. Do you know anything about the people who lived there before us?”
“Not much. It was a married couple. David and Rose Palmer. But they-”
Justine cut him off. “Rose!” she said, suddenly excited. “That’s why there are roses throughout the house!”
The doctor only nodded and took off his gloves. “Well, there’s nothing else I can do for you, except to call you a cab. Do try to be more careful the next time you shave. It would help to invest in a better razor,” he laughed. “My wife was always stealing mine until I insisted she get her own! Honestly, I don’t know why they don’t make better razors for women.”
Justine shrugged. “Thanks for your help,” she went out to sit in the waiting room until the cab arrived.
What was she going to tell Kevin? If she told him what had actually happened, he would think she was mad. Even she was questioning her sanity. Did she have a momentary hallucination? Could stress do that to someone? Already the incident was feeling less real. An invisible man made her cut herself? How could that be possible? Either way, she didn’t want to be alone in that house again. In fact, she wanted to move—as soon as possible.
It wasn’t until they were undressing for bed that she revealed her injury to Kevin. “It’s just a nick,” she said.
He stared at her in disbelief. “A nick? A nick that requires bandages? Let me see.”
Justine sighed and reluctantly undid the bandage.
“Oh, my God,” Kevin gasped. “Justine, that’s more than a nick! How did this happen?”
“I just slipped while I was shaving,” she avoided meeting his eyes.
He exhaled slowly and his tone became gentle. “Come here,” he motioned for her to sit with him on the bed. He kissed the top of her head and looked into her eyes. “Please, be honest with me,” he said, slowly. “Are you cutting yourself again?”
“No Kevin, I’m not. Absolutely not!” she pulled away from him, her temper rising. “Look...that was an isolated incident.”
“You told me you cut yourself for years, as a teenager.”
“One year—and it was because my parents were stifling me. I spent five months in an institution. You think I’d risk having to go through that again? I’ve been fine since then. You know that.”
“Except for those two days after the baby died.”
Justine stood up and started to pace. “It was just a couple times. That was it. I lost our baby. I didn’t even get to meet him. How can you blame me for anything I did after that?” she stopped and looked at her fiancé. She knew she couldn’t tell him the truth; he would think she was crazy.
“Really, I just slipped. That’s all. You’ve got to believe me.”
Kevin sighed. “All right. I believe you. I wouldn’t mind taking a few days off work though, just to be on the safe side.”
He expected her to say no, to reassure him she was fine but instead she nodded. “Sure. If that would make you feel better. I miss having you around the house anyway,” she frowned. “But what about your new job? Won’t they need you?”
“Darling, that’s what substitute teachers are for.”
A mischievous grin appeared on her face. She pulled off her blouse. “Hey baby. I could be your substitute teacher,” she climbed into his lap and looked coyly into his eyes. “We’re in biology and I think you need to stay after class. There’s more you need to learn about the human anatomy.”
Kevin raised his eyebrows. “Yes, ma’am!”
Justine giggled, and then suddenly cried out in pain.
“What is it?”
She looked down at her ring finger. For a second, she had felt searing heat where her ring was, as if
someone had suddenly sliced through her finger with a saw. She half-expected to be looking down at a raw, jagged stump.
“It’s nothing,” she fibbed. “I just twisted the wrong way. We are sitting kind of awkwardly you know.”
“Right.” Kevin sighed, feeling tired. “Look, let’s save the role playing for another night. It’s been a long day,” he kissed her tenderly and pulled her down beside him. “Let’s get some sleep. I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
Within minutes, he was snoring. Justine felt envious of her husband’s restful slumber. She lay wide-awake, despite being exhausted. How was she going to convince him they needed to move? She was already doubting the decision. The house and the town were perfect; it was she who was the problem. Maybe she was having some kind of psychological relapse, although she had never hallucinated before. Then again, she had never lost a baby before either. Justine tossed and turned with these thoughts all night, finally falling asleep right before sunrise.
* * *
There were no more incidents during the following days. By the time the weekend came, Justine was cheery and hopeful. She loved spending time with Kevin around the house. They painted the living room a sage green and trimmed the rose bushes in the front garden. She was starting to fall back in love with their new home. How could she leave this place? She was convinced she’d had a momentary breakdown. Considering what she had been through, that wasn’t too implausible.
They spent the weekend exploring Gravenstein. The town square held a farmer’s market on Sunday mornings, with the produce laid out like jewels in the sun. The displays of winter squash made her feel festive and excited. She had always loved Halloween. There was a whole stall dedicated to selling pumpkins. She rushed over and admired the different kinds. She saw the traditional orange pumpkins but there were also white ones, grey ones and ones with bumps all over them.
