Nicholas gasped with a grunt. “Oh God.”
“Do you like this?” she said, stroking him up and down. He was as hard as stone but warm and vibrant.
“Yes.” His voice trembled.
A small drop of liquid emerged at the tip. Captivated, Helena bent down and tasted the musky dew.
“Christ!” Nicholas hissed from between clenched teeth.
Helena licked and kissed his heated shaft, encouraged by his responses to give him more pleasure, drawing him deeper into her mouth. Nicholas twitched against her with a clipped groan.
“Darling, darling,” he said placing his fingers under her chin. “We should not, we must not, do any of this.” He lifted her head off him.
Helena saw the expression of utter abandon on his face and kissed his lips. “But I want to give myself to you.”
He held her head steady between his hands. “You cannot, you simply cannot, Helena. He’ll know if you are not a virgin.”
Nicholas’ words ripped her back to her horrible reality. “I don’t care,” she said resolutely, shaking his hands away. “I do not want to be married to that man. I do not love him. I love you. Why can’t I marry you?”
“We’ve been through that—”
“But what if I have to marry you?”
Nicholas studied her. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, what if I were with child. Your child. What if we had physical intimacies and I carried your child?”
He exhaled his astonishment. “You mean right now?”
“Yes. Now.”
He wrapped his arms around her. “It doesn’t quite work that way, darling. I mean it does, but it might not happen on the first try.”
“You mean we’ll have to keep doing it?” She certainly would not mind that.
“Yes—I mean no!” He sighed. “Helena, once a woman is engaged, there are certain expectations about her conduct. Any deviation might mean legal action.”
Helena’s jaw dropped. “Dr. Christopher could take you to court?”
“If the engagement is deemed legitimate, yes. Your father could too. For seduction.”
That was not how it happened with her parents. “But if I am with child, then they’ll have to let me marry you.”
“Not necessarily. You might be sent away and your child—our child—taken from you.”
“Taken from me?” Was that why Uncle Arthur had kept her mother sequestered at his house during her confinement? Why her father had stayed in England the entire nine months? Protecting mother and child from legal action by the Marquess of Richmond? “Truly?”
“It is unfortunately so.”
“But what about my uncle Arthur? And Lady Foxley-Graham? What about your cousin the earl? Surely they’ll help us?” She knew she was grasping at uncertainties.
Nicholas raked his fingers through his hair. “Darling, we can’t count on any of that. Look, I don’t know much about what happened when your mother and father had you. I take it your uncle Arthur had a hand in protecting your family. Still, the gossip mill says your grandparents were not happy about your parents getting married, nor about you. They disowned the lot of you.”
“Yes, that’s true,” she admitted glumly. “But Uncle Arthur will be the next Marquess of Richmond and he doesn’t care about titles and lineages. He’ll let me marry you.”
Nicholas took her hands in his. “Helena, I no longer have any close family. My father and brother just died in an accident. My mother died a few years ago. To have my own children, to love and play with them, to watch them grow and have families of their own, this is so very important to me. It is a dream of mine. I do not want to take such a risk.”
“That’s why you went away, isn’t it? Your brother and father.” She could not fathom such a great loss all at once. “And now you have no one.”
“Well, there’s my cousin the earl.” He smiled at her concern and brushed away a stray lock from her face. “I would love to give you children, Helena. I would love to be married to you and raise them together. One day, I hope to be your husband. But there is simply too much uncertainty in your proposition.”
His words moved her. “Yes, I understand.” She watched as he tucked in his shirt and buttoned his flies, adjusting himself in his trousers, then met his eyes in the dark.
“Don’t look like that.” He cupped her cheek, then took her hands in his. “Have hope. There may yet be a chance for us.”
His voice held conviction, enough to mollify her, enough to fuel her fantasies once again, fantasies of him and her… “Nicholas, I want to give you something of myself.”
He quickly pressed his lips to hers. “You have given me something.” He pecked her face as he tugged her clothes back into place. “You gave me your first kiss, your first touch. That is all I can accept from you for the moment.” He positioned her until she lay back against him, his arms encircling her. “We have to be content with what we’ve had with each other, love, and dream about what we hope will come.” He kissed her neck. “Now you tell me something, a story, anything. Just talk to me. I want to listen. I want to simply be with you, share this moment with you.”
Helena leaned into him, letting his heat and strength comfort her. He was right, of course. Until this mess was settled, she would have to content herself with a kiss, a dance and a little daring exploration. She sighed morosely, realizing what she shared with Nicholas in a few furtive meetings would be more than what she would share in a lifetime with Dr. Julius Christopher.
Chapter Sixteen
Nicholas found himself retreating to Lavinia’s house after work more often than not. It wasn’t the sex so much as the refuge from the bizarre situation at his office.
“Darling, there’s a note from your valet on my desk,” Lavinia said, pointing to the missive. “Apparently, Mason is waiting for you at your flat.”
“Mason?” Nicholas queried distractedly.
“Your family butler.”
“I know who Mason is! What the devil is he doing here in London?”
“Well, perhaps you should go home and find out.”
Certain that whatever news Mason had would not be good, Nicholas persuaded Lavinia to go with him for support.
The three gathered in his study, Mason looking quite official with a dossier under his arm. He opened the contents onto the bureau as Nicholas and Lavinia sat in matched wingbacks.
“Lord Saxondale—”
Lavinia giggled.
Mason lifted a scathing brow in her direction. “Sir, your father’s will has been read. There are some matters of importance I must go over with you before you see the solicitor yourself.”
“So he left you something after all, Nicky dear.” Lavinia was cheerful.
“Indeed, Lady Foxley-Graham, the earl did leave something to his lordship.”
Nicholas, however, was not at all curious. It was probably a few heirlooms, valueless trinkets left over from his father’s and brother’s creditors. “All right, Mason, let’s have it. What do I get?”
“You ‘get’, sir, to be the Earl of St. Albans.”
Lavinia gasped.
“W-what?” Nicholas was not quite sure he heard correctly. “Mason, what did you just say?”
“Your father has made you his heir.”
Nicholas shook his head. “What about Bertie?”
“The Viscount Ravensburgh, it seems, did not reflect the qualities your father would like to see in the future Earl of St. Albans. You, apparently, do.”
“Really, Nicky, you should be flattered,” remarked Lavinia.
“Flattered? I’m stunned! Absolutely stunned!” Nicholas stood up and began pacing. “Flabbergasted, alarmed, bewildered. Me? I’m not suited for such a life! I’ve purposely kept a distance from all of that nonsense.” He stopped, standing stock still with his hands on the top of his head. “Good God!”
“I know this comes as a shock, given your history with your father and brother, sir.”
“Well, yes, Mason, quite
a shock.” He let out an exasperated groan.
“What is it, Nicky?”
“That also means I inherit the family debt.” Nicholas turned to his butler. “Doesn’t it?”
“Yes, my lord,” Mason agreed. “However, once the creditors were secretly informed of the choice of you as earl, they pulled back. They are quite prepared to negotiate with you given your principled reputation, it seems.”
Nicholas sighed. “I’ll have to learn about running the estate now, I suppose.”
Mason cleared his throat. “Well, sir, if I may, sir, owing to the dearth of silver to polish and guests to satisfy, I spent my days these last few years learning about estate management in general and the running of the St. Albans estate in particular.”
Lavinia sat up in attention.
“Oh?” Nicholas raised his brows.
“There is a lot of profit to be made, my lord. With the proper management, of course.”
“Of course.” Nicholas shook his head in awe. Mason, it seemed, had been planning for this precise moment for years. “And what if I disclaim the title? What then?”
“Well, you would also forfeit the right of your son to inherit—”
Lavinia raised an inquisitive eyebrow at Nicholas.
“But given that you are childless as far as we know, this is not an issue. Your cousin, ‘Bertie’ as you call him, the Viscount Ravensburgh, is successor after you.”
“Good. Then he is second,” Nicholas mused.
“Yes. He would have to be called back from Italy or wherever he happens to be traveling with the Marquess of Norrington.”
Lavinia gasped with glee.
“Bertram’s with Percy?” Nicholas chuckled. “Well, that’s a damn sight better than Jack.”
“Yes, my lord.” Mason looked him squarely in the eye, his expression stern. “You should know, my lord, your father expressly stated that he did not want you to disclaim the title.” He removed an envelope from his jacket pocket and handed it to Nicholas. “He knew you might consider it, so he left a personal entreaty. He wanted you to be the one to restore honor to the title.”
On the front of the envelope was scrawled Nicky in his father’s handwriting, recognizable despite the shaky script. It was probably the last note he ever wrote.
Lavinia beamed. “Darling, I think you should just accept it.”
Nicholas turned to her, hastily wiping the tears threatening to run down his cheeks. “And give up my profession? Vinny, I’ve just spent seven years forgetting about that old life and forging a new one. I know you’d rather see me as a peer, but I must admit I truly like being a doctor.”
She tilted her chin with a challenging look. “But, darling, think of Helena.”
He shook his head. “Isn’t it hopeless?”
“No, darling. Mr. Phillips still needs to consent to the marriage. There is a possibility that he will not. Not only has Julius been sleeping with his wife, he’s quite a bit older than Mr. Phillips. Some men don’t take kindly to those sorts of things.”
Nicholas resumed his pacing. “And if the marriage goes through, I’m stuck with being Earl of St. Albans. Alone. God, what a bore.”
“I’ll be there for you, Nicky. I can help you over some of the hurdles.”
“As can I, my lord,” said Mason with a faint touch of hopefulness.
“Besides, can’t you be the country doctor of your little village or some such? And,” Lavinia winked at him, “I’m certain Penelope Hardcastle will make a fine countess, don’t you think, love?”
Well, at the very least she’d be fashionable. And lively in bed.
* * * * *
Joseph Phillips paced a path in the carpet as he waved his hands in the air. “What the hell were you thinking, Sophie? Who the devil is this man?”
He had stormed into the morning room of his London townhouse the second he arrived without even a “hello” to his wife. Conveniently, Helena had been diverting herself in the library.
Perched nervously on the edge of the sofa, Sophia began to sob.
He hated to see his wife cry. “Sophie, honey, look, I need to know what is going on here.” He knelt before her. “I received a telegram from Charlotte Banbury that seemed rather urgent. You were the one who expressly said that Helena should marry a highborn nobleman, and here you are giving her away to a doctor. I know you, sweet. What is really going on? Who is this Dr. Julius Christopher?”
“He’s…he’s,” she stammered. “Oh Joseph!” She threw her arms around him.
Joseph knew at that moment his wife was sleeping with the man. While he did not care so much about that—they had a very modern arrangement—he was more concerned with the fact that Sophie was going to allow the same man to sleep with their daughter. Of all Sophie’s affairs, this was rather irregular.
“What has this Dr. Christopher done to you, love?” He sat down next to her on the couch.
Sophia wiped her eyes. “He has a machine,” she sniffled.
That was an intriguing bit of news. “A machine?”
“An erotic machine. It forces one to experience pleasure.”
Joseph started at that. “Really?” If this was true, then no wonder his wife had succumbed to the doctor.
“It’s a new medical device. Doctors are using it now for hysteria treatments.”
“Hysteria!” Joseph was nonplussed. If there was one thing his wife did not suffer from, it was hysteria. An obsessive need for physical stimulation, perhaps, but that only calmed her. She was never really of a nervous disposition.
“Well, yes,” Sophia admitted sheepishly. “But as I have learned from Julius—”
Joseph eyed his wife disapprovingly.
“I mean from Dr. Christopher, when doctors treat hysteria they are really only bringing women to sexual climax, to orgasm. And as not all women achieve this type of release as easily as, well, I do, it can be quite a tedious undertaking, sometimes taking an hour.”
“Good God! An hour?” Joseph said in amazement. “I feel very sorry for the poor husband whose wife takes an hour.”
“Well, I dare say, and this is Julius’ theory, that these doctors simply do not know how to massage women properly.”
Joseph grunted. “Then I feel very sorry for those doctors’ wives.”
“And so this vibrating machine has been invented to, shall we say, speed up the process. Really, dear, as a modern man of business you should be impressed. These doctors are using machines to increase the numbers of patients they can see in a day, thereby increasing their income.”
Joseph stood and resumed his pacing. “Yes, well, I can see how this would be useful for a doctor treating a patient with hysteria but, Sophie, love, that is hardly your condition.”
“No, Joseph,” she said in hushed embarrassment.
“So what the hell was he doing to you? Making false claims about your health so he can cure you of some ailment you do not suffer from so he could get your money? Does he know who you’re married to? Is that it?”
“No, darling. Julius is an honest man. He refused to treat me after I told him I knew how to assuage my own urges. But I couldn’t satisfy myself completely. For that I needed a man.”
“You seduced him.” Joseph knew all too well how his wife could behave.
“Yes, I suppose I did. Then we began using the machine not as a medical tool, but as an amusement.”
“And then you became dependent on what it could do for you, wanting more?”
Sophia stood and walked to the window in frustration. “I’m sorry, Joseph, I got caught up.” She hung her head. “I did grow to need it. Julius knew.”
“So how does Helena fit into all of this?”
She turned and faced her husband. “Your daughter really was suffering from hysteria, you really must believe me, darling. She’s been nothing but nerves since the beginning of the Season.”
“For God’s sake, Sophie, she was thrown to the wolves with this damn marriage business!” A meek glance from his wife mol
lified him. “So she went to see Dr. Christopher and his machine?”
“First he taught her how to placate her own desires—”
“Oh God, I don’t think I want to hear this, Sophie,” he growled.
“Well, I don’t think I could have taught her,” she said defensively. “It was all very medical, really. And yes, he did use the machine.”
“So then what? He fell in love with her? Surely this man must see countless women and have his pick.”
“Joseph, as her father you really have no idea how absolutely stunning Helena is to men.”
“As I am in love with her ravishing mother, I know precisely how beautiful our daughter is.”
Sophia blushed. “Yes, well, Julius fell in love with her. He made me agree to the engagement under duress.”
“And you call him an honest man?”
“Darling, please, don’t raise your voice.”
“This is my house and I will raise my voice all I want,” he bellowed. He pounded his fists against his thighs in utter astonishment at his wife’s conduct. Yet he knew he should not be surprised. In the past, he had had to smooth over several mishaps. The worst had been Sophie’s pregnancy with a much younger lover. She had been devastated, both for the requisite abortion of the child and her betrayal to her husband.
Joseph calmed himself as much as he could. “Sophie, darling, you have been very incautious and self-centered in your dealings with your Dr. Christopher. You have proved yourself weak once again. While in the past your weakness has been tolerated, this time it is inexcusable for you to have involved Helena.”
Sophia returned to the sofa and sat like an admonished child. “Yes, Joseph. I apologize. I know I have been an inconsiderate wife and mother.”
“Well, that’s a start. Now about Helena, how does she feel about this young man?”
“Oh dear,” Sophia started.
“What?”
“He’s not a young man, Joseph.”
“Well, okay.” He had expected as much. “So how old is he?”
“Forty-eight.”
“Good Christ above!” Joseph threw his arms in the air. “He’s older than I am! Oh no. No. That will not do. Is she in love with him?”
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