“No,” he said. “This is a reaction to what happened in the car. It’s an adrenaline rush. It happens to men in combat all the time. We get hard-ons from the action. You’re probably having some female version of it.”
Gina clenched her fists, let the sizzling frustration settle in. He was such an idiot. “What are you talking about? I didn’t feel this way until you put me up on that counter. Maybe I thought about the last time we had sex there. I don’t know, but I can promise you it has nothing to do with that car following us. This, hot man in my life, is lust. Plenty of it.”
“Hey,” he hollered, pointing his finger at her and paying no mind to Roy possibly hearing. “You were pretty friggin’ adamant about not wanting sex. I’m trying to be a good guy here and not take advantage.” He raked his hands through his hair and stalked the room. “I mean, seriously, if you want to get thrashed, I’ll thrash you like you’ve never been thrashed, but you told me no.”
He stopped pacing and stood in front of the sofa, his shirt half-untucked, his blond hair a shaggy mess, looking at her like she’d gone insane. Oh, she wanted to get thrashed, all right.
And he’d be the guy to do it.
Someone knocked on the front door.
“Oh, come on.” Vic went to the door, checked the peep hole and flung the door open. Roy was standing there.
“What’s the yelling?”
“We’re fine,” Vic said. “Just me trying to figure out the female persuasion, and you know how good I am at that.”
“Dude,” Roy said, fighting a laugh. “You tripping or something?”
Whatever happened to the days when people had sex without these distractions? “For the love of Pete,” Gina said, marching to the door. “We’re okay, Roy. Thanks.”
She shut the door, clapped her hands together. “Well, then. This is not going how I thought it would. Maybe we should take a few minutes to calm down. How about some coffee? I only have decaf.”
She might as well do something with her hands, because they obviously were not going to be on Vic any time soon. She could only blame herself for saying she didn’t want to have sex. She’d never make that mistake again.
Vic dropped himself onto the well-worn couch and stretched his long legs. “No coffee. Thanks.”
His cell phone rang and he pulled it from his pants pocket, checked the ID and hit the button.
“What’s up? Got it. Wait till he gets there and then take off. Get some sleep. Yeah. Thanks.”
He hung up, tossed the phone on the coffee table.
“That was Monk. They tailed the car to a house on the South Side. We’ll run the plates and the location in the morning.” He rubbed his eyes. “I’m so freaking tired.”
Gina sat next to him. “Why don’t you get some sleep? I’ve got two empty bedrooms upstairs.” She smiled big. “I could put you in Lily’s room with all the strawberries. I know how much you love them.”
He managed to laugh. “Thanks, but I’m okay. I’m better than okay. I had a great time tonight, and that doesn’t happen a lot.”
“Me too.”
Vic flipped her hair over her shoulder. “We’ll borrow the boat again.”
The stillness in the air didn’t feel right. Something in the room had changed. He cleared his throat, which only made the feeling worse. They’d gone from blazing hot to ice-cold. They had to talk about it.
“Can we talk about what just happened?” she asked, knowing his unabashed love of talking about his emotions.
To her surprise, he nodded. “You need to be sure. I don’t want you to regret it.”
She slouched back in the sofa and shook her head. Would she ever understand him? “Why would you think that? I didn’t regret it the other times.”
He tilted his head back and huffed. “I’m a literal guy. You told me no sex and then you changed your mind. I wanted to make sure you changed it for the right reasons and not because you were, well, wound up.”
This was a good man. Emotionally stunted, but with a heart as big as the Grand Canyon. She leaned over, rested her head on his shoulder. “I see your point. Sorry I confused you.”
“I want you to be sure, and I know you weren’t tonight.” He kissed the top of her head, let his hand roam down her back and suddenly the energy stormed back into the room.
Her brain might not have been sure, but her body seemed pretty damned determined.
Why was this so difficult? Until Vic, she’d never thrown herself at a man and she certainly wouldn’t have expected to be rejected. She ran her hand down the buttons of his shirt. “So, no sex tonight.”
He groaned. “I’ve got a headache.”
Chapter Twelve
Man Law: Always avoid complications.
Gina opened her eyes and squinted at the red glare of the digital clock. Three-thirty. Ugh. A muffled sound on the front porch, just below her bedroom window, rocked her to a sitting position. An intruder? Her heart hammered and she surveyed the room.
Moonlight slanted through the crack in the blinds. Nothing there. Now she was paranoid. Great. She took three deep breaths and laughed at herself.
A man’s rumbled laughter sounded from below. Vic’s laugh. He was still here?
Throwing the covers off, she went to the window and pressed her ear against the closed blinds. Vic and Roy must be on the front porch.
Maybe she’d head down there and visit with them. She wasn’t getting any restful sleep anyway. She opened the closet door and yanked on the pull chain. Light flooded the closet. She stood for a second staring straight ahead at Danny’s firefighter uniform. Four years and she hadn’t moved it. The most she’d done was brush the dust off the shoulders.
“Oh my.” She stroked the sleeve of the uniform.
A pang danced in her chest. Regret? Loss? She didn’t know. She shifted and scrutinized the room. The same blue curtains, the same off-white bedspread with blue trim, the same light blue walls. Just as it had been when she had shared this room with Danny.
She wanted to use the kids as an excuse, that they didn’t need her bringing men around, but four years later, she couldn’t do it anymore. The loneliness closed in on her. She had allowed herself to become rooted in being a widow. Taking a risk on someone, getting hurt, frightened her. Rightly so, but it had to end.
She’d become anesthetized to the opposite sex. And then, two years ago, in her basement, a little piece of her came to life again. It took hold and hadn’t let go. Twenty-four agonizing months.
She turned back to the uniform, pulled it down and hugged it to her. “I miss you and I still love you. Always will, but I’m ready to bring another man into this room. I’ve never done that before. I haven’t wanted to, but now I do. As much as I want to hang on, I have to let you go.”
She stood for a minute, crushing the uniform to her, trying to breathe in any remnant of Danny’s scent, but nothing remained. Time had stolen it. Stripped it from her.
Danny was gone.
“Okay, Gina,” she said aloud. “Time to get a life.” She set the uniform back, kissing the sleeve before she scooted it out of sight. She’d keep it in the back of the closet for safekeeping but wouldn’t look at it every day.
She breathed in and the load lifted from her. The sadness faded. She let the weightless feeling surround her and enjoyed the obscure pleasure in it. Maybe Danny had somehow given her permission to take this step.
She yanked her bathrobe from the hanger, slipped it on over her nightshirt and took a minute to steady her quaking nerves for this next big step.
“Did you hear about Marty?” Vic asked Roy.
Vic should have gone home an hour ago, but he figured he’d give Roy a break, let him catch a combat nap and grab something to eat. When Roy returned, they started shooting the shit and here they were, on the porch in Gina’s red rocking chairs. A relaxing breeze, no bad guys in sight. A perfect summer evening.
“That dumb-ass,” Roy said shaking his head. “Who gets himself shot in the foot?”
Vic normally didn’t find screwups amusing, but Marty hopping around on one foot gave him a good belly laugh. Lately, Gina had been making him laugh, too, but he wouldn’t read anything into it. They were spending a lot of time together. That was all.
“He’s coming home until his foot heals,” he said. “He can’t be hobbling after some diplomat on it. That’d be nice, huh? The body man on crutches? Dipshit.”
The front door opened, and Vic and Roy both jumped from their chairs. Pressure bolted up Vic’s spine and he reached for the gun at his waist. After getting tailed that evening, he wasn’t taking any chances. Gina stepped onto the porch and he jammed the gun into the holster again. Holy crap. She’d startled him.
“Everything okay?” he asked.
“Uh-huh.” She eyed him and his lame attempt to conceal the gun with his arm. “I couldn’t sleep.”
With his body on the down slope of the rush, he noticed Gina had scrubbed her skin clean of all makeup. Not that she wore a lot anyway, but he’d never seen her without makeup. With the bathrobe and her hair in a ponytail on top of her head, well, too damned cute.
“I’m sorry if we woke you,” Roy said.
She waved him off. “I’m restless tonight.”
She wasn’t the only one. Vic hoped his pants wouldn’t suddenly go snug around the crotch.
Gina glanced back in the house, then at Vic. “Can I talk to you a minute?”
Talk.
Kill. Me. Now. She wanted to talk. He hated talking. “Sure.”
He wiped his sweaty hands on his pants and followed her into the house where she flipped on the lights and closed the door behind them. Maybe she was dumping him after one date. Wouldn’t that be his luck? But they’d had a good time. Aside from the terrorist following them and the no-sex fight. All in all, a pretty good date.
“What’s up?”
She scratched the back of her neck. “You were right about before. The no-sex thing. I wasn’t ready.”
Vic slid onto the arm of the recliner. He hated staring down at her and if he sat they’d be eye level. “Okay. I’m glad we made the right decision, then. Is that what you wanted to tell me?”
She nodded. “Yep. Mostly.”
Whew. Maybe she wasn’t dumping him. She moved toward him, slid her arm around his shoulder and settled her leg on top of his. Nope, not getting the dumping feeling here.
“I figured it out, though,” she said. “It’s the bed.”
He’d heard some good excuses, but that one took the prize. He puckered his lips to stifle a grin. “The bed?”
“You’re confused again, aren’t you?”
“Totally lost.”
They both laughed.
“I can clarify. The times we had sex. That’s all it was. Just sex. A frenzied rush to relieve the tension.” She stopped, sighed. “Well, we screwed each other.”
Thinking about sex with her sent his blood plunging south. He tried to get up, but she didn’t move. “Yep. Got it. We’re good.”
“I’m not done.”
Of course she wasn’t. “Sorry.”
“I’ve been upstairs, sleeping on and off, and when I heard you down here, I figured I’d visit. But when I opened the closet, I saw Danny’s uniform and it hit me.”
He had the urge to tell her not to say it. Selfish bastard that he was, he didn’t want to talk about Danny. “What?”
“I don’t want to screw you anymore.”
Oh, crap. Now, that hurt. Dumped for a dead guy. He nodded. “Okay. That’s all you had to say.”
Everything inside him ached, but not a physical pain. Physical pain he could deal with. This was a widespread, chest-caving-in kind of dull ache, and he hated the weakness of it. He closed his eyes, got hold of his emotions. Pain is just weakness leaving the body. That’s all. Deal with it.
“Hey,” she said, getting his attention. He opened his eyes and she smiled at him. “I want to make love to you. In a bed. No frenzied rush.”
What the hell? This was like being thrown around in rough surf. Just a brutal pounding. He sagged back against the chair. No wonder he stayed away from the emotional stuff. Who could take all this shit? “Wow.”
“Yeah, wow. I adored Danny and I’ve been hanging on to him out of loyalty. I convinced myself that sex with you wasn’t a relationship. Bringing someone into my bedroom is different. That room has a lot of meaning to me, and I don’t want to be reckless.” She put her palms against her forehead. “Does that sound stupid?”
Was he supposed to answer that? Could be one of those fucked-up rhetorical questions.
She widened her eyes. “Does it?”
He was supposed to answer. Shit. “No. Not at all. I think it’s—I don’t know—remarkable that you know yourself that well. Danny was a lucky guy and I’m freaking out because I’m the guy you want to bring into that room.”
And what right did he have? He’d make her life a war zone and, unless he could figure out a way to not cut loose after a few weeks, he’d hurt her.
“It’s freaking me out too,” she said. “But I’m not worried about it. I’m excited. This is a big step for me, and you helped me get there.”
She stood, grabbed his hand and tugged him forward. Oh, no. He couldn’t move. Nope. He should stay glued to the fucking chair because he knew what was next. She wanted them to go upstairs. He’d been thinking about this for months…and suddenly he didn’t want to? What sane guy would say no?
But this was more than getting laid. Emotions would be involved and he’d screw it up. He always did. Danny had been a good man and Vic didn’t deserve to take his place.
Gina bent over, got nose to nose with him. “There are no ghosts in my bedroom. I’m ready. Now stop thinking and take me to bed.” She smiled. “If you don’t, I may have to take Billy up on his offer.”
Billy?
As if.
Vic gave her a gentle push backward and jumped up. “Screw that. What are we waiting for?”
He opened the front door and told Roy he’d be a while. Hopefully a long while. He locked the door, flipped the lights off and followed Gina upstairs. Roy’s imagination would be running wild, but he wouldn’t say anything. He knew Vic well enough not to give him crap about Gina. Other women, yes, but not her.
Waiting for him at the top of the stairs, Gina held out her hand. He took it and she led him down the short hallway to her bedroom, but his mind refused to absorb it as fact.
Things were about to get a whole lot more complicated.
“So, this is it.” Gina held her arms wide. “My bedroom.”
It occurred to her that Vic had never been in here. “It’s a little small,” she said, her nerves doing a jitterbug up her arms. “We gave the boys the bigger room.”
Vic leaned on the doorjamb, inspected the room. “I don’t think it’s small.”
“You can come in, you know. I won’t bite.”
He laughed and stepped in. “Well, that’s a damn shame.”
When he got close, she took note of the dark, puffy rings around his eyes and the five o’clock shadow. Tired. Maybe too tired. They should forget the whole thing. Shouldn’t they? If they did, she could stop the gymnastics in her head, but that wouldn’t make her happy either. Ugh. She’d give him the option. “You look tired. Do you just want to sleep? That would be fine too.”
In three steps he reached her and slipped the belt off of her robe. “Not a chance, sweet cheeks. I’ve been a nice guy long enough.”
He slid the robe off her shoulders, but she held it for a second. “I don’t want to rush this. Okay?”
“Fine with me. You’re my main focus these days, and I’ve got all the time in the world for whatever you want.”
Zing! No denying the major innuendo behind that statement. She let the belt go. Bye-bye robe.
Nervous excitement bubbled just below her skin. Could he be feeling it too? This knowledge of everything changing between them. They’d been together before, but not like this. This was new and t
he anticipation heightened her curiosity.
“I’m nervous.” Oh, very seductive.
She wished she’d thought to change out of her sleeveless nightshirt into something sexier. White cotton just didn’t cut it. Of course, she’d have to wipe the dust off the sexy stuff, but at least she still owned some things. And they fit.
“I’m nervous too,” he said. “It’s a rush, isn’t it?”
He reached down, grabbed the hem of her nightshirt and stopped. “I just want to see you. I’ve never seen you naked and I’ve been thinking about it.” He paused. “Is that okay?”
She nodded and he tugged the nightshirt over her head.
The brush of his fingertips against her belly rippled through her and she forced herself not to grab him. She always rushed things with him. Always attacked him.
“You okay?”
“Yep. Trying not to rush.”
He pushed her backward onto the bed. “I know, but it’s better this way.”
He gave her body a detailed inspection and she shivered. Men didn’t look at her this way anymore, and she suddenly wanted her robe back.
“You have one hell of an amazing body.”
“My ass is too big.” How romantic.
He knelt next to her, flipped her onto her belly.
“Let me see this.” He ran his hands over her back and ass while she prayed for a thirty-second rewind. How embarrassing.
“I love your ass. Who thinks it’s too big? I’ll kill them.”
She snorted a laugh into her pillow until he straddled her legs and began kneading the tight muscles along her spine.
“Oh, that feels good,” she said.
Vic laughed, leaned forward and kissed her cheek. “Gina Delgado, you little slut.”
She shifted and he moved to the side, propped his head in one hand while moving the other over her shoulder, down her breasts. His fingertips were calloused but his touch soft, and Gina closed her eyes to enjoy the tingle moving through her lower body.
“Why am I the only one naked?”
Man Law Page 11
