by Joan Jonker
‘Oh, that will be lovely!’ Ginny clapped her hands together. ‘I can’t wait to meet them. And don’t forget I’ll be at your house straight from school tomorrow to help yer empty the tea chest that’s coming.’
‘A busy day all round from the sound of things,’ Andy said. ‘My dear wife draws her Tontine tomorrow and can’t wait to get to the shops to spend it on presents for us. I have hinted that a bike would be useful for getting me to work, but she told me Father Christmas said he’d never get a grown-up bike on his sleigh. So I guess I’ll have to make do with socks and hankies again.’
This was a standing joke among their neighbours. Andy would say to Dennis, ‘Yer’ll never guess what Santa brought me? A pair of socks and a packet of three hankies.’ And Dennis would nod his head and say, ‘Same here.’ This would be repeated by Bill and Paddy, and followed by loud guffaws. Beth was determined to do a bit better this year, and had informed her mates of her intentions so the four men were in for a pleasant surprise. Although she worried that the surprise wouldn’t be pleasant if someone let it slip that Ma Maloney had made the gifts possible.
‘It’s the thought that counts, sunshine, not the present. And anyway, there’s another reason for celebrating Christmas other than giving presents, and we should never forget that.’
‘But there’s no harm in giving presents, sweetheart,’ Hannah said. ‘It’s part of the celebration of Christ’s birth. Didn’t the three Wise Men bring gifts to the baby Jesus?’
‘I haven’t forgotten that, Hannah, but these days Christmas seems to be getting more commercialised. To some it’s just another excuse for having a good booze-up. Last year half the men at Midnight Mass could hardly stand on their feet they were so drunk. The whole church reeked of beer.’
‘You can’t make people believe something they don’t want to believe in, love. Something that interferes with the life they want to lead. But it’ll all come back to them in the end and they’ll pay the price.’ Andy wasn’t one to preach about religion, and kept his beliefs to himself. He was of the firm opinion that not everyone who went to church was a good person, they just wanted to appear to be so, while many genuinely good-living people never went near a church but spent their lives doing good deeds for others. And thinking about helping others, he said, ‘Seeing as yer’ve had a busy day, me and the children will clear away and wash up. How about that?’
‘I would be delighted, love. I’ll put me feet up on the couch and wait in anticipation of being brought a nice cup of tea. And I’m sure Hannah would also be very appreciative.’ Beth chuckled. ‘See, when I want to speak posh, I can do. The trouble is, most of the time I can’t be bothered. It comes more naturally to speak as common as muck.’
Four women trying to walk together in a market jam-packed with people was almost an impossibility. ‘We’d be better walking in pairs, as long as we don’t lose sight of each other,’ Beth said. ‘Most of us want a stall selling new stuff: stockings, shirts, underwear and socks. And Hannah gave me six shillings to buy something for Claire and the two children. It’s not much for three presents, I know, but the poor woman is hard pushed for money.’
‘I’ll take yer straight to a stall what sells all those things,’ Flo said, screwing up her eyes when yet another elbow prodded her bosom. ‘Otherwise yer’ll end up getting nothing.’
‘What about the stall where Beth got the coat?’ Dot asked. ‘Couldn’t we try there?’
‘They only deal in second-hand clothes,’ Flo said, sending daggers to a woman who had just trodden on her little toe. She wouldn’t have minded so much, but it was the little toe that had a corn on. ‘We can call there later if yer want, but let’s get some of our presents first.’
Beth grinned at her. ‘Okay, sunshine, you be in charge and lead the way. Your loyal followers will be right behind yer.’
With that, Flo got herself ready to do battle. With a look of determination on her face, she bent her arms and pushed her elbows out. They would act as a deterrent to anyone who didn’t get out of the way quick enough. But they weren’t just a deterrent, they were a weapon which left many people, if not mortally wounded, then bruised enough to remember the little fat woman who let nothing stand in her way. Fists were waved in the air at her, curses were called and threats made to her wellbeing. But she forged ahead regardless, with her three mates walking in her wake, not knowing whether to pretend they weren’t with her, feel sorry for her victims or laugh their heads off.
When Flo came to an abrupt halt, the three women were caught unawares and nearly fell over each other. ‘What did yer stop like that for, yer silly nit?’ Dot said. ‘I nearly tripped over Lizzie!’
‘But yer didn’t, did yer? And it’ll teach yer to look where ye’re going in future.’ Flo raised her eyes to the heavens, as though to say some people had no ruddy sense. ‘Anyway, this is the stall.’
There were groans from her friends when they saw the customers around it were about five deep. ‘Oh, God, we’ll never get served there!’ Dot said. ‘We’ll be here all flamin’ day!’
Flo folded her arms and her lips thinned to a straight line. ‘Do yer intend to moan the whole bleedin’ time we’re out, Dot Flynn? ’Cos if yer do, I’m going to love yer and leave yer. I’ll be quicker on me own and I’ll have no misery guts moaning down me ear.’
‘There’s no need to take that attitude, girl,’ Dot said. ‘All I said was that there’s so many people round the stall we’ll be here for ages.’
‘If yer look around yer, queen, yer’ll see every stall is the same. It’s not only us what have got Christmas presents to buy, it’s the whole of Liverpool. And no matter where yer go, it’ll be the same.’
‘She’s right,’ Beth said. ‘So we’ll take our chances at this stall. And we’ll take a leaf out of Flo’s book and push our way in. If we get separated, then so be it, it can’t be helped. But don’t anyone move far from this stall ’cos we’d never find each other in the crowd.’
But Dot wasn’t having any of that. Half the fun of going shopping with Flo was to see how she got around shopkeepers to knock the odd ha’penny or penny off things. ‘We’ll stick together, even if it takes ten minutes to get to the front to see what they’re selling.’
‘We’ve all got lists,’ Flo said, ‘and I’ll guarantee that on this stall they sell everything on those lists. Now, because there’s four of us, and we’ll be spending a good few pounds, I suggest we work it like this . . .’
And so it was that when the four friends finally got to the front, and could see all the goods on sale, they had a plan to set in motion. They let Flo go first. ‘Here ye’re, lad, I’m next to be served.’ She smiled sweetly at the man who ran the stall with his wife. Today he had his thirteen-year-old daughter helping out as well. ‘Could yer pass me one of those men’s shirts over, please, so I can see the quality?’ She felt the material and pursed her mouth. ‘How much are yer asking for them?’
‘Two and eleven, Missus, and that’s a good price. They’ll wash and wear well.’
‘I don’t doubt yer for a minute, lad, but I’m counting me coppers. Yer see, I need four of them and me purse won’t run to that.’
The stallholder was doing some quick adding up in his head. Four shirts was too good a sale to lose, and he was making a shilling profit on each, so he could afford to be generous. ‘Well, seeing as ye’re buying four, Missus, I’ll knock tuppence off each of them. How does that suit yer?’
‘That’s mighty kind of yer. What colours d’yer have them in?’
‘Just the white and blue. But we’ve got them in all sizes.’
Flo brought a scrap of paper out of her pocket. ‘I’ll have two white, both size seventeen neck, and two blue in a size sixteen.’
When he’d gone, Flo turned to her mates. ‘We’ve got a bargain there. Now, d’yer want me to try with the stockings and underskirts?’
There was a chorus of, ‘Oh, yes, please!’ And for added measure Dot said, ‘Ye’re doing fine, girl, I take me h
at off to yer.’
‘Give us yer lists then, and I’ll see what I can do.’
The man came bustling back with the shirts in a bag. ‘Here yer are, Missus, that’s eleven shillings exactly.’
Flo passed a ten bob note and a silver shilling over. ‘Ta, very much, lad. But I’ve been having a word with me mates here, and we might be able to do more business with yer. They were going to buy ladies’ stockings and underskirts from one of the stalls we passed, but I told them to try here first ’cos yer might be cheaper.’
‘How much were they selling the stockings for?’ the stallholder asked, thinking he was being crafty. Little did he know that when dealing with Flo, he wasn’t in the meg specks.
‘They were ninepence on one stall, and elevenpence on another.’ She kicked back sharply with her foot when she heard the gasps of surprise from her mates. If they kept that up, they’d give the game away. She herself had no qualms about telling fibs because if the feller was any good as a businessman he’d know that ladies’ stockings were a shilling in the shops and elevenpence in the market. Decent ones that is. Seconds were a lot cheaper but you took a chance on them. Sometimes they’d have ladders in, or no ruddy heels.
‘And how many of each d’yer want?’
‘Eight pair of stockings and four underskirts. But it all depends upon the price ’cos like most other folk, we’ve got to go careful.’
‘I’ll do yer a good deal, seeing as ye’re spending a few bob. Yer can have the stockings for tenpence a pair and the underskirts for one and six. That is the best I can do, Missus, so what d’yer think?’
Flo was delighted but had to ask first, ‘Do the underskirts have lace at the top?’
The stallholder nodded. ‘Yes, they’ve got lace on, and they’re in four colours so I can give yer one of each.’
‘That’s fine, thank yer. I’ll get the money off me mates while ye’re seeing to them. Oh, can we have two blue and two pink, please? We don’t like yellow or green.’
Beth handed over a pound note. ‘I get it to twelve shillings and eightpence, so pay him out of that and we’ll find somewhere to have a cup of tea and settle up.’ She placed a kiss on Flo’s cheek. ‘Friends don’t come any better than you, Florence Henderson.’
After goods and money had been exchanged, the friends were moving away from the stall when Beth saw some men’s woollen scarf and glove sets and she called after the stallholder, ‘Excuse me, but could yer tell me how much the scarf and glove sets are, please?’
‘Two bob, love.’ He grinned. ‘No, I can’t knock anything off them, I’m selling them at rock bottom prices as it is.’
‘Can I have two sets, please? One in navy and one in black.’
‘Who d’yer want them for?’ Flo asked, along with a sharp dig in the ribs. ‘Yer’ll have no money left the way ye’re going on.’
‘I know what I’m doing, sunshine, don’t worry. I’ve got Ginny two pairs of stockings and an underskirt, Andy a shirt and one of the scarf sets, Claire a pair of stockings and underskirt and the same for Amelia. The other scarf is for the boy, Bobby. So that’s Hannah sorted out for her family and one thing off me mind.’
‘I thought she only gave yer six bob! It comes to more than that.’
‘Only coppers, sunshine, and I’m not going to lose any sleep over that. There’s only our Joey and meself to see to now. Oh, and me mam and dad, I’d forgotten about them. I could have got a pair of stockings for me mam if I’d thought on, but it’s too late now. Me dad’s easy, he’s happy with a packet of fags.’
‘Here yer are, love.’ The stallholder passed a bag over. ‘That’ll be four bob.’
As she was rooting in her purse, Beth asked, ‘Would yer get us another pair of stockings, please? And I don’t suppose yer’ve got any boys’ woollen gloves, have yer, for a lad of thirteen?’
‘Yeah, a tanner a pair. I’ll get them and the stockings for yer.’
‘I suppose yer know ye’re spending money like a man with no hands, don’t yer?’ Dot said. ‘By the time we get home yer’ll be skint.’
‘Yes, but I’ve got nearly all me Christmas presents. All I need to get now is a comic book for our Joey, to go with the gloves, twenty Woodbines for me dad, and then there’s only little old me to worry about. I would like something new to wear on Christmas Day.’
‘Will yer pay the man, me darlin’, and let’s find somewhere to sit and have a cuppa.’ Lizzie was looking fed up with herself. ‘Sure, I’m not thinking straight at all. So far, all I’ve bought is a shirt for Paddy. If I’d had me mind on it, I could have bought scarf sets for the two boys and that would have been them seen to. And I’m sure there’d have been something for the two girls. I’m slowing down in me old age, and that’s a fact, so it is.’
They found a cafe and were lucky enough to get there just as four people were vacating a table. They sighed with relief when they sat down, glad to take the weight off their feet. Then they noticed there was no one serving on the tables, so Dot volunteered to take her turn at the counter and ordered a pot of tea for four and scones.
While they were waiting, Beth took a piece of paper from her handbag and a stub of pencil. ‘Now, while it’s all fresh in our minds, let’s make a list of who’s bought what, how much they owe and who they owe it to.’
‘I’ve only bought the shirt so far,’ Lizzie said, disgusted with herself for not being quicker off the mark. ‘So I’ll pay Flo my two and nine, and that makes us quits. I’ll have to go back to the stall when we’ve had a cuppa, though, I can’t go home with just Paddy sorted out.’
Beth felt much happier when she’d been paid all the money owing to her. She’d started to get worried when she saw the cash in her purse dwindling, but it looked more healthy now she knew exactly how much she had to play with. ‘All things considered, I think I’ve done very well. The money I’ve got in the butcher’s and the greengrocer’s club will sort me out for dinners over the holiday, and I’ve still got money on me sweetshop card. I’m feeling quite chuffed with me little self.’
‘I’m nowhere near finished, so I’ll go back with Lizzie.’ Dot was counting the money in her purse. ‘I’ve got Joan’s things, but nothing for David. I bet he’d be made up with one of those scarf sets so I’ll get him one. And seeing as Beth’s got two presents for her feller, I’ll have to do the same or there’ll be blue murder. Men are worse than women for jangling when they get in the ruddy pub.’
Flo used the table to push herself to her feet. ‘The woman behind the counter is waving her bleedin’ hand off, trying to tell us our tea’s ready. Who’s coming to give me a hand?’
Dot snapped her purse shut and put it in her bag. ‘I’ll come with yer to stop yer moaning about me.’
Flo put her hands on her hips and looked her friend up and down. ‘Well, can yer tell me why yer’ve put yer money away and left yer bag on the table? Which means I’ll be the sucker left to pay for it all!’
‘We’re all paying our share today, so we’ll square up when yer let us know how much it is.’ Beth grinned. ‘And no licking the butter off the scones, Flo Henderson, ’cos I’ll be keeping me eye on yer.’
‘All I can say is, it’s a bleedin’ pity yer’ve got nothing better to do.’ With that, Flo waddled towards the counter, knocking elbows as she went, spilling tea down customers’ coats and on to the tables. ‘How much, queen?’
The girl behind the counter looked at the tray and did some mental arithmetic. ‘That’s one and four, girl.’
Flo handed over the right money. ‘Thank you, queen.’ Then she turned to Dot and raised her brows in a haughty expression. ‘I paid, so you can carry the bleedin’ tray.’
Tempers were calmed as the friends sipped their tea and ate the scones which turned out to be delicious. Beth thought this was a good time to organise themselves. If they didn’t, tempers would become frayed again and they’d end up going home with only half the things they needed. ‘Lizzie, why don’t you and Dot go back to the stall, get what
yer want and meet me and Flo back here?’
‘But Flo’s only bought a shirt so far, there must be a lot more things she wants,’ Dot said. ‘So why don’t we all go back to the same stall?’
‘Not me,’ Flo told her. ‘My girls are too young for long stockings and lacy underskirts, so I’m going to see if that Mary Ann has any decent second-hand dresses. They’d be easy enough to wash and the girls wouldn’t know no difference.’
‘Oh, I’ll come with yer, sunshine,’ Beth said, her face alight. ‘They might have something that takes me eye. In fact, I could get two for the price of one.’
Dot shook her head. ‘Don’t even think of going there without me and Lizzie, girl, ’cos that wouldn’t be fair. If there’s any bargains going, we want to be there.’
‘Yer can’t have it all ways, queen,’ Flo told her. ‘If we have to sit here waiting for yer, the day will be over. So I suggest you and Lizzie get off yer backsides right now, and run like the clappers back to that stall. Yer know exactly what yer want so yer don’t have to arse around. Me and Beth will have another cup of tea, and if ye’re not back by the time we’ve drunk it then we’re off.’ Even as she was speaking, Flo knew it was a load of rubbish. There was no way she or Beth would let their two friends down. ‘Go on, get yer bleedin’ skates on! Ye’re too ruddy slow to catch cold, the both of yer.’
The two women were quickly off their chairs and out of the door. As she watched them disappearing, Beth clicked her tongue on the roof of her mouth and said, ‘Well, that was certainly telling them, sunshine! I bet they’re quaking in their shoes now.’
‘Don’t be so bleedin’ sarky, queen, there’s no need for it. At least I got them off their backsides, which is more than you did.’
‘Ay, wouldn’t it be the gear if we could get some nice dresses off that Mary Ann’s stall? It would save us a lot of money.’
