‘It’s not your fault that guys suck,’ my sister says, nudging Mom aside with her tray as she enters the room.
There are two mugs on the tray, and Nani reaches for one. ‘I asked for tea,’ she says.
‘Your tea is downstairs,’ Saliyah says, herding everyone out. ‘The hot chocolate is for Zahra.’ She closes the door behind them and turns back to me. ‘Because everything is better with a little sugar.’
Chapter Five
Kali paces the length of the war room, also known as her kitchen, where we’ve assembled to review our plan to annihilate Eric-Rick-Rico (a four-letter word no matter what it spells). In her arms is an assortment of junk food, which she distributes among the three of us. She deposits two bags of chips in front of me, four bags in front of Syd, and keeps one bag for herself. ‘The size of the pig-out must equal the severity of the heartbreak, which correlates directly to the amount of time spent together,’ she says.
‘You’re just a one-bagger?’ I ask, tearing open some BBQ chips. I don’t have much of an appetite, but fat and salt may help to revive it. ‘How long were you together?’
‘About a month,’ Kali says, adding a Symphony bar to her stash. She opens it and shoves a few squares into her mouth. ‘It was intense while it lasted, but I’m over him now.’
‘In a day and a half?’ I ask, surprised.
She gives me a chocolaty smile. ‘It helps that I met Owen Gaines last night. Notts County did a benefit for Eco-Nauts. My friend’s brother got us backstage, and Owen actually talked to me.’
‘Wow,’ I say. ‘Impressive.’ Owen Gaines is about twenty-two, and his band is starting to get a lot of play. Kali is a cut above the average groupie. ‘What did he say?’
‘Just “Hey.” But it’s a start.’
Alternating between handfuls of nachos and corn chips, Syd says, ‘Is there a point to this story?’
‘Just that Owen is way cuter than Eric,’ Kali says.
‘So you meet a cute guy, and blam, you’re over your cheating boyfriend just like that?’ Syd asks, spraying a cloud of cheesy dust in Kali’s direction.
‘Not just any cute guy,’ Kali says. ‘A famous musician.’
Syd gives Kali a look. ‘Not that famous.’
‘Yet,’ Kali says. But then she drops the carefree front. ‘Of course I’m not over Rick. I’m so pissed off I want to smash every dish in this kitchen. Since that’s not an option, I’m trying to keep my blood pressure stable with distractions. You deal your way, I’ll deal mine.’
‘Fair enough,’ I say, to bring the temperature down. If we can’t keep it civil, Operation Eric will never come off. And I need it to come off. We all do.
Kali climbs onto a stool at the marble-topped island and looks at me. ‘How long were you and Eric together?’
‘Nine weeks,’ I say, opening my second bag of chips. ‘And I really liked him.’ That’s a major understatement, but there’s no need to explain how my insides feel gutted with a sharp knife. No matter how much Kali, Syd, and I apparently have in common, we’ve only known each other a couple of weeks.
Anyway, it’s obvious that we’re all miserable. Kali’s normally bright face is pale, and her hair’s hanging in limp pigtails. Syd has skipped her usual kohl eyeliner because her eyelids are too puffy to hold a straight line. And my face and neck are covered in blotches, like hives.
The only reason any of us got out of bed today was to plot revenge. It’s quite a resuscitator.
‘At least you two didn’t waste over a year of your life on that bastard,’ Syd says, settling briefly on a stool before getting up again to pace. ‘All I did was ask Eric for a little space to get over what happened with my dad. Eric knows I need to be alone when I’m dealing with stuff, because he’s exactly the same way. When his grandfather died last year, I backed off until he was ready to talk.’
‘Maybe he thought you’d broken up,’ I say, feeling hope rise at the possibility that Eric misunderstood, and believed he was a free man.
Syd shakes her head. ‘We talked, we texted, and I saw him most weekends. But I used to see him nearly every day, before my parents split. I guess he felt my pulling away gave him permission to cheat.’ She stares at the ceiling and swallows hard. ‘Either that, or I never really knew him at all.’
Morbid curiosity gets the best of me. ‘Listen, can I ask you guys something? Did Eric ever take you hunting for wild parrots?’
On our first date, Eric told me about the wild parrots that pop up around Austin. More than once, he showed up in Daisy after hearing reports of a sighting, and we went on a parrot safari. Although we never found them, I considered the search ‘our thing,’ and I desperately want to keep it that way.
Kali doesn’t have to say a word for me to see it wasn’t our thing, but Eric’s thing – with every girl. It was a ploy to reel us all in. ‘I’m sorry,’ she says. ‘We went looking the day before group started. I thought the parrots were an urban myth.’
The knife that gutted me seems to be twisting in Syd too, because she presses a paint-stained hand to her throat for a second. ‘Quaker parrots,’ she says. ‘The little green-and-blue ones. Eric was obsessed with them.’
Kali’s phone rings, and she squawks, ‘Oh my God, it’s him!’ She drops the phone on the counter as if it had burnt her hand. ‘He texted me while I was at the concert last night, too.’ She looks at Syd. ‘Don’t worry, I stuck to the rule: short, neutral answers.’
‘Me too,’ Syd says. ‘Let’s keep it that way until we’re finished with him. We have to keep the upper hand.’
A horrible thought occurs to me. ‘You don’t think … that there might be other girls? I mean, besides the three of us?’
Frowning, Kali reaches for the chocolate again. ‘It’s possible. But I don’t see how he’d have the time. He must have been pretty busy, coordinating all of us along with going to school and working.’
After a few minutes of intense junk food therapy, I decide we need a break from the relationship postmortem. ‘Kali, this kitchen is amazing. Every appliance I’ve ever dreamt about is right here. Is your mom a professional chef?’
‘She can barely work the coffeemaker,’ Kali says. ‘My latest stepdad designed this kitchen. He was a great cook.’
‘You don’t keep in touch?’ I ask.
Kali’s smile fades, and she turns to get sodas out of the refrigerator. ‘I think Mom scares them off. I have no idea where my stepdads are – or my real father, for that matter.’
No wonder Kali’s a repeat at group. My dad’s a workaholic, but at least he’s around occasionally – especially since I’m supposedly grounded because of the fire. Luckily, Dad’s more lax than Mom. If I overload him with texts and calls, he feels like he has the situation under control, yet can’t quite remember where I said I was.
‘Don’t worry, I’m used to it,’ Kali says, showing me how to use the ice dispenser. ‘My real dad left before I was two. Stepdad One stuck around four years, Stepdad Two hung in for another four, and Greg didn’t even last two.’ She sighs. ‘I try not to get too attached, but Greg was a great guy.’
‘Time to stop looking back and start looking forward,’ Syd announces. ‘Let’s figure out what to do about Eric.’
‘Who’s Eric?’ Like Kali, the woman standing in the doorway is tall, slim, and attractive, but her eyes and curls are darker. ‘And why is a stranger stroking my blender?’
‘Actually, it’s a limited edition pro series stand mixer with a flour power rating of fourteen cups,’ I say, offering my hand to the woman. ‘I’m Zahra, Kali’s friend from group.’
‘I’m Glennis. Kali’s mom.’
‘Notice she didn’t give a last name,’ Kali says. ‘It changes so often she can’t keep track.’
‘Not funny, Kalista.’ Glennis sees our soda cans sitting on rubber coasters on the island and swaps them out for fancy wooden ones. ‘Those coasters are disgusting.’
‘They’re made from recycled car tires,’ Kali says.
&n
bsp; ‘With recycled roadkill at no extra cost,’ Glennis says, placing the chips and dip in ceramic bowls. ‘Honestly, Kali, can’t you make things nice for your guests?’
‘Why waste water cleaning glasses and bowls we don’t need?’ Kali asks.
I jump in to lighten the mood. ‘This is Sydney and her dog, Banksy.’
Glennis stoops to rub Banksy’s head, and he wags his stump of a tail. ‘What a handsome boy.’ Taking a tin of dog biscuits out of the cupboard, Glennis offers one to Banksy, who takes it gently. ‘One of these days I’ll have another dog of my own.’
‘Your next husband might have one,’ Kali suggests. ‘Give it a week.’
Glennis shoots her a warning look. ‘I guess you named him after the English artist?’ she says to Syd.
It’s the first time I’ve seen Syd smile since we saw Eric in the parking lot. ‘Yeah. He’s sort of my idol. If I had one.’ Glennis chats to Syd for a few moments about Banksy’s work before asking me about my interest in cooking. I tell her about my dream of hosting my own show one day.
‘I miss cooking,’ I say. ‘There’s no room at Dad’s, and it’s a hassle at Mom’s with my grandparents there, plus Ramadan starts soon.’
‘You don’t fast?’ Glennis asks.
I shake my head. ‘My dad’s Scottish and my mom pretty much dropped her culture until my grandparents moved here recently. Now she’s a born-again Muslim.’
Glennis tactfully changes the subject. ‘So Kali, this Eric you mentioned. Is he from group too?’
‘Top secret, Mom. Like Dieter says, “What happens in group—”’
‘Stays in group,’ Glennis finishes. ‘All right, I know when I’m not wanted.’ She picks up her purse and car keys and heads for the front door. ‘It was nice meeting you, girls. Zahra, feel free to use our kitchen any time.’
When the door closes behind Glennis, I turn to Kali. ‘Your mom’s pretty cool.’
‘Scratch the surface and you’ll find a mess underneath,’ Kali says. ‘Hence the rotating husbands.’ Kali explains that while her mom works in marketing for a hotel chain, she’s always wanted to be a photographer. ‘Maybe she’d settle down if she could follow her dream.’
‘Now you’re psychoanalyzing Mom?’ someone asks. ‘Don’t you have enough of your own problems?’
The guy standing in the doorway has Kali’s green eyes, Glennis’s brown hair, and longer lashes than either of them. It’s hard not to notice his muscular build, since he’s standing shirtless with one hand on the refrigerator door. His feet are bare, and the waistband of his striped boxers shows above his jeans.
‘Brody, we’re having a private conversation,’ Kali says.
‘In the kitchen. Where the food is.’
He takes chocolate milk out of the fridge and chugs it directly from the carton. Then he offers the carton to me with a smile that could be dazzling if I found dark-haired guys with nice teeth appealing. I don’t, anymore. Not even when they’re much taller than I am, which used to be a big draw.
‘I brushed my teeth,’ he says.
If he thinks backwash is charming, he’s mistaken. ‘No thanks.’
‘OK, you can use a glass,’ he says. ‘But I’ll have to charge you for the water to wash it. Kali’s rules.’
‘Brody, leave Zahra alone.’ Kali has that exasperated tone I use on Saliyah.
‘It’s fine,’ I say. ‘I just don’t like chocolate milk.’ Or overconfident guys. Brody reminds me of Rico. If I recover from this enough to fall for someone else, it won’t be with a Rico clone, but his polar opposite. Then I’ll get character references and hire a private investigator to do a background check. I’ll take nothing at face value, and I’ll make the guy work like a dog to win me over. Zahra MacDuff is done with being a doormat.
‘Everyone likes chocolate milk, Red,’ he says. ‘It’s a universal truth.’
‘Don’t call me Red.’ I hate that.
Brody leans against the counter, unfazed. ‘Did you know that only two percent of the population has red hair?’
‘Actually, I did.’ Lucky me to be a part of such a minority.
‘Did you know redheads are a dying breed?’
‘Did you know redheads don’t like hearing about their future extinction?’ I ask.
He turns to Kali. ‘Uh-oh, another one of your friends has a crush on me. Will it never end?’ Turning back to me, he adds, ‘Sorry, Red, I’m taken.’
‘You are not taken,’ Kali says, although that’s hardly the point. The point is I wouldn’t take him on a silver platter.
‘I am,’ he says. ‘As of today. I met a goddess at the drugstore.’
‘Listen,’ Syd says, impatience getting the best of her, ‘I don’t mean to be rude, but we’ve got a project to work on.’
‘More homework from group?’ Brody asks.
We glare at Kali, and she holds up her hands. ‘I didn’t tell him where we met.’
Brody saws a three-inch slab off the banana loaf on the counter. ‘She didn’t have to. I’m sorry to say it was obvious that you all need some anger management training.’
Kali sighs. ‘Don’t you have something better to do, Brody?’
He grins at Syd and me. ‘Just kidding. I assumed you’re from group because the rest of Kali’s friends smell like patchouli oil and weed.’
Kali snatches a garlic bulb off the counter and hurls it at Brody. He dodges the garlic easily and it rebounds off the wall to hit Syd. Syd gives Brody a look that would burn the skin off someone with a thinner hide.
‘At least my friends don’t walk on their knuckles,’ Kali says.
‘Ah, someone’s still burnt,’ he says. ‘Did she tell you guys about Rick the dick?’ He wraps the last two words with air quotes.
Syd and I exchange a glance and silently agree to say nothing.
Brody assumes we’re out of the loop. ‘Well, get ready for an earful. She hasn’t let up for two days. Like it’s my fault the dude was seeing other girls.’
‘You could have warned me he was taken,’ Kali says.
Brody’s tooth wattage finally dims. ‘We’ve been over this, Kal. The guy’s a friend of a friend. I didn’t know he had a girlfriend. Or two.’ Tooth wattage amps up again. ‘Though, with moves like that, I should probably get to know him better.’
‘You promised you’d never speak to him again,’ Kali says.
‘I said I’d avoid him for a while. Guys don’t do the “not speaking” thing. Besides, you only went out with him a few times.’
‘A few times?’ Syd glares at Kali. ‘You said he was your boyfriend.’
‘He was my boyfriend,’ Kali says. ‘We spent weeks flirting at Brody’s games, and once we got together, we were inseparable.’
‘You flirt with everyone, and it mostly doesn’t mean anything,’ Brody says around a mouthful of banana bread. ‘And being inseparable for a couple of weekends doesn’t mean you’re engaged.’
Kali takes a deep breath and gives her brother a mellow smile. ‘I know when a guy’s into me. Rick and I spent forty-eight hours together at a music festival, remember? I thought that really meant something.’
Kali spent forty-eight hours straight with Rico? That does mean something. It means he liked her more than he liked me. I doubt I spent forty-eight hours with him over the entire course of our relationship. And they probably shared a sleeping bag.
‘You’re easily misled,’ Brody says. ‘That’s why Mom stuck you back in group.’
‘And how did you manage to escape?’ I ask.
‘Aw, that’s sweet,’ he says. ‘Red wants me at the Thursday Crazy Party.’
‘I know we just met,’ I say, ‘but it seems like you could benefit from a dose of Dieter.’
‘Still sane as far as I know,’ Brody says. ‘I’m not the one who ran away when my mom dumped Greg.’
‘I didn’t run away.’ Kali plucks a couple of spoons from the dish rack and starts drumming on the counter with them. Greg’s leaving must have been a bigger deal t
han she likes to let on.
‘The basic definition of running away is leaving home without letting anyone know where you’re going,’ Brody says. ‘And that’s what you did.’
‘I seized an opportunity, that’s all.’ Kali hits a pot hanging on a hook overhead. ‘I met a band on an open mic night and I volunteered to be their roadie for a couple of gigs.’
‘Translation: she was in a bar underage and then climbed into a van with a bunch of stoners,’ Brody says. ‘Mom hauled her butt back from San Antonio after the club manager called from the next gig.’
‘She ruined everything. Do you know how lucky I was to tour with a band at my age?’ Kali hits several pots in sequence. ‘And they weren’t stoners.’
‘You just keep deluding yourself,’ Brody says, patting her back. ‘It takes the heat off me. Anyway, I’d love to stay and argue, but Fiesta Mart’s shelves don’t stock themselves.’ Grabbing what’s left of my BBQ potato chips, he heads back down the hall.
‘Hey, Brody,’ Kali calls after him. ‘Your friend Eric-Rick-Rico takes off his shoes before getting into his car. How lame is that?’
‘You kissed him, not me,’ Brody calls back.
‘Let’s move this meeting,’ Kali says, gesturing to the window. At the end of the driveway, near the back of the house sits a rusty old trailer. ‘It belonged to Kevin, Stepdad One. Mom kept it because he gambled away half her savings, but she still hasn’t sold it. Just one problem – I’m not sure where the keys are.’
‘So?’ Dad’s voice makes me jump, and I quickly refresh my computer screen. ‘How’s it going, honey?’
‘Fine,’ I say. Dad used to stay late at the office nearly every night, but since the fire, he’s been coming home early and working here instead. He also picked up a couple of books on helping kids cope with divorce. I found them on his nightstand, so he must want me to know he’s studying up.
It won’t do him much good, because I’m at the wheel now. I’ve decided that my parents are a bad influence and I don’t need them. But there’s no reason to crush them with news of their inadequacy. They’ve got enough problems. So for the time being, I’ll live by my motto that everything is better with a little sugar. ‘I’m allowed to be on the Internet all weekend, Dad.’
Love Inc. Page 7
