by Shelly Bell
She held the phone against her ear. A mass of tangled emotions played out in her expression—anxiety, excitement, followed by sorrow.
I pushed her hair away from her face. “I’m sorry, baby. You didn’t get it?”
“I did.”
Somewhere deep inside, I managed to find the strength to smile. “That’s great. Congratulations.”
“Thanks.”
“Why are you so sad?”
She shrugged. “If it was twenty-four hours ago, I would be on top of the world, but right now, I just want to be in this bed with you.”
“Hey, this is a good thing. You’re going to go places, and I’ll get to say I knew you when.”
“When what?”
When you could have been mine.
I hugged her hard, trying to cover my faltering expression. “When you got the phone call that changed your life. I’m proud of you, Lilly.” I tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and tilted her chin so she was looking at me. “I have one question though.”
“What question, James?”
I wanted to kiss the pout of her lips. A selfish part of me wanted to beg her not to go, but I couldn’t do that. I’d just met her. I had no right to ask her to give anything up for me. Instead, I vowed to be the most supportive person I could. “How long do we have?”
“About a month.”
“Then we shouldn’t waste a minute of it.”
Chapter 8
Lilly
We had dinner with Colton on Saturday night. The boys had me cracking up the whole time. On Sunday, we spent most of the day in my bed, exploring each other. I also met his roommates. Time fast-forwarded on me. Despite my protests, James skipped classes to hang out with me. Okay, I didn’t protest that hard. I wanted to spend every waking minute with him…and most of the sleeping ones too.
I’d deferred my senior recital to the fall since I’d been auditioning all summer. Luckily, I’d found a roommate that was okay with my leaving mid-semester. In some ways, all those weird decisions had led me to him or him to me. They were also going to take me away, too.
We sat in Roasted, the whimsical coffee shop on campus that boasted charcoal renderings of coffee-inspired art, piped Indie music, and round tables painted in all hues under the sky. We sat at a deep indigo one with a vase of bright yellow sunflowers in the center, me with my skinny latte and him with a monster-sized coffee. The double-chocolate cinnamon cupcake sat between us, torturing me. James drummed his fingers against the table to High Strung’s The Luck You Got. I mentally added it to the soundtrack of my crazy romance with this beautiful boy.
James nudged the plate toward me. “Go ahead, you can afford this.”
“I really can’t.”
“What? Are you serious right now?”
“Yes. I mean, I’m in my weight class, but you’ve seen me. I’m not exactly skinny like the other dancers.” I felt the slow blush creep across my face. How did we get on this awkward topic?
“You’re perfect, Lilly.”
“I love that you say that. But in my world, I’ve been rejected a lot. If I had a dollar for every time I heard the phrase ‘If you could lose another ten or twenty pounds.’”
“Twenty pounds? You’d be walking bones. You don’t need to lose an ounce. Not one fucking ounce.”
I fought the urge to kiss him senseless. Madame Moreau had taken a chance on me. I’d tried out for many troupes, hearing the same critique, which had nothing to do with my form and everything to do with my jiggle. I was healthy, but I’d never be a skinny dancer girl. Even after starving and working out to the point of exhaustion, the weight remained.
“I love your curves, Lilly. I love that I have something to hold onto when I hold you. You’re soft and feminine and perfect.”
Those butterflies wouldn’t leave me alone.
“You really make me feel special, but I didn’t want to start a debate with you. It took a while to accept who I am, but I’m in a good place now. My size doesn’t define what I can do. I made a choice a long time ago to be happy with myself, including my body.”
“I’m happy with who you are too, including your body.” He arched an eyebrow, grinning mischievously as if it was a dare. I tilted my head. He leaned closer to me, holding the plate under my nose. “So come on…share something sweet with me.”
I am sharing something sweet with you, James Hutchinson.
I jutted my chin, gesturing to the cupcake. “I don’t know. I still have to limit myself so I’m picky when it comes to desserts. You take the first bite. Tell me if it’s worth it.”
He picked up the delicious-looking confection and made a show of peeling away the crimped paper. He licked the frosting before he took a huge bite.
“Oh this is so damn good. I think I might just have the whole thing. Sorry Lilly, but you’re out of luck.”
I reached my hand out, almost grabbing the treat before he pulled it out of my reach. “Hey, save some for me.”
He laughed, handing me the cupcake then taunting me by pulling it away again.
“Hutch! The rest is mine.”
“You’re calling me Hutch?”
“Only when I’m mad at you. It’ll save us a lot of time and guesswork that way.”
“Very efficient. I can’t handle you being mad at me so here you go.” He broke off a chunk. He held it between his thumb and index fingers. “Open.”
He placed it in my mouth. I clamped my lips around his fingers. If I could describe my life as a flavor in that moment, it would be decadent chocolate, cinnamon, coffee, cupcakes and James Hutchinson, sinfully delicious.
He withdrew his fingers slowly, his mouth gaping. “You better behave, Lilly.”
“Or what?” I challenged.
He pulled his chair closer and draped his arm around me. His mouth hovered right above my ear. Oh god, how could he make me so wet so fast? Surely, this wasn’t normal?
“Or I’m going to fuck you right across this table…patrons be damned.”
I’m not sure if I was more surprised that he uttered a phrase like “patrons be damned,” or how turned on by it I was. “That’s a reward, not a punishment.”
His tongue traced the shell of my ear. I resisted the urge to jump into his lap. Funny how a few days ago I had the opposite reaction. I took out my camera and snapped a picture of us. Something I did quite a bit these days.
“How many are you going to take, Lilly?” There wasn’t any annoyance in his voice. The question was sincere and loaded, too.
“As many as the memory card will hold.”
“And then?”
“I guess it’ll be time to get a new memory card.”
We both swung our head as the sound of a chair scraping jolted us from the private movement. I lowered my face, moving away from him with embarrassment, but James only tightened his grip, letting out an irritated sigh. His frustration would have been comical if I wasn’t dying of lust. Could you die of lust? I think I was in danger of it. Colton pivoted the chair around, sitting on it backwards.
“What up, lovebirds? Am I the best matchmaker or what?”
“I’d say you’d give Cupid a run for his money,” I said, my voice so squeaky I had to clear my throat.
“Let’s just be happy your creepy plan didn’t get me slapped in the face,” James said, his chiseled face flickering with irritation before he grinned at his brother.
“What? I thought it was brilliant. Wasn’t it, Lilly?”
I gave Colton a cynical stare in response.
“Okay, it was creepy,” he finally agreed.
“On that we can agree. Hey, you taking off today?” James asked.
“I’m heading out to St. Ignace first to visit Mom first. From there, I’ll rent a car and meet up with the boys in Detroit. We’re doing a show at the Fillmore.”
“The Fillmore? That’s a big venue, bro.” The note of pride in James’s voice warmed me even more than the coffee.
“Yeah, we’re stoked.”
�
��Tell Mom I said hi. I’ll come out to see her at the end of the month.”
“I will, Tin Man.”
James shook his head. “You’re an ass.”
“It runs in the family, bro.” He eyed the last piece of our cupcake. “You’re sharing a cupcake?” He turned to me. “Big step. He doesn’t share food. He must really like you, Lilly.”
“Cut it, Colt,” James warned.
“It’s mutual,” I replied, feeling like a girl passing notes in class. I was pretty sure I was blushing on top of it. Gah, when did I revert back to adolescence? If I had a notebook, I’d be writing silly hearts with our initials all over it.
“You guys ready for a refill?” Colton asked.
James looked over at my full cup. I shook my head.
“Sure, I could use another.”
“Great, get me one, too.” Before James could respond, Colton started in on a long, rambling order that made my head dizzy.
James stood, cutting him off. “Got it. Coffee. Black. Coming right up.”
Colton grinned. “Fine.”
Once he’d left, I turned to Colton. “Now that we’re alone.”
“Lilly, I get that I’m hot and you’ve got a huge crush on me, but I won’t hurt Hutch. What’s the saying? Bros before….”
“Watch it,” I warned, shaking a finger at him.
“Girls,” he finished.
My mouth gaped before Colton started laughing. “Sorry, I have a twisted sense of humor. You’ll figure out it runs in the family too.”
“I can appreciate that, but no worries here.” I jerked my thumb in the direction of James standing in line. “I’m pretty much infatuated with that guy over there.”
“Glad to hear it.”
“I do admire your music, though. It’s pretty rad.”
“I admire your use of the word rad outside of a 1980s reference.”
I laughed, seeing the clear resemblance between their senses of humor.
“I wanted to know why you call him Tin Man.”
Colton grinned playfully. “I suppose you’ll have to guess, too.”
“No fair. I won’t tell him.”
“Maybe it’s because he has his own shield that protects him and also keeps people out.”
“That’s deep.”
“Did you think I was shallow? Anyway, it looks like you found the chink in the armor.”
“I don’t think that’s the real reason you call him Tin Man.”
“It’s not.”
“I figured it out, anyway. The Tin Man wasn’t looking for a leg. He was looking for a heart. That’s the reason, isn’t it?”
Colton shook his head. “So close, yet so far. You’re thinking of the movie. Our mom was a huge fan of the books. The Tin Man has his own story. Did you know that?”
“No, I didn’t.”
“It’s a really good one. Mom used to read it to us before bed. Obviously Hutch forgot it.”
“I’ll add it to my reading list.”
Colton’s expression turned serious. “Actually, I wanted to tell you that I’m happy you guys got together even if it’s for the short term. I think you might be just enough to break the spell.”
I tilted my head. “There’s a spell, too?”
Colton’s eyes twinkled with mischief. “Oh yes, Lilly, a dark spell my brother’s carried since he was fifteen.”
I played along, gasping for effect. “Tell me the tale.”
“A wicked witch lived next to us. She was from a distant land where they practice a dangerous brand of sorcery.”
“What land was that?”
He turned his head each way to check for eavesdroppers. Once he was satisfied, he leaned in toward me, his voice dropping to a coarse whisper. “Canada.”
“Oh,” I said, stifling my giggle.
“Anyway, one spring day, my brother trampled her prize roses while playing football.”
“You’re kidding.”
“I wish. Now, let me just explain, this woman owned the house that sits in every neighborhood across this great nation. You know what I’m talking about?”
“Nope.”
Colton rolled his eyes as if I was a small child. “The one that hands out nickels and apples on Halloween.”
“Oh, that one I know.”
“Good. That was her house. Also, she had a mole that didn’t move with the rest of her features. We tried not to stare at it, but it got us every time. Even though Hutch apologized for the trespass and offered to replant the bushes, she wouldn’t budge. Her retribution was no match for his repentance.”
“What did she want?”
“His soul.”
I shivered. Colton was good at painting this story, deepening his voice at the right times, using arm gestures to color his words.
“She cast a spell where the choices of Hutch’s heart would leave him paralyzed a little more each time until he finally had no heart left.”
“I don’t understand.”
“We didn’t either. Not at first. My brother was an amazing football player. Some said he put his whole heart into the game. He was in line for a scholarship, but the day the recruiters came, Hutch didn’t go to the game. Didn’t even finish the season.”
“Why not?”
“An evil troll broke my arm. He stayed in the hospital with me. A choice of the heart, wouldn’t you say?”
“I’d say so.”
“He joined the Marines because we were broke and he wanted to provide a better life for us. For me. That’s definitely a choice of the heart.”
“Yes.”
I opened my mouth to ask him more, but James set down the coffee. “Don’t go telling tales, Colt.”
“And he’s modest, too,” Colton said, winking at me. “I should hit the road.”
Colton and I exchanged a quick hug before I excused myself to use the bathroom. I wanted to give the boys some privacy in their good-bye.
When I came back, James sat alone.
“So you’re under a curse, I hear.”
“He exaggerated.”
“For an exaggeration to exist there has to be a vein of truth.”
James furrowed his brow. A few strands of his hair fell against his forehead.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pry.”
“No, it’s okay.” He offered me one of his signature sad smiles that tore my heart each time. “I just did what felt right at the time. That’s all.”
“Colton said an evil troll broke his arm?”
“I can’t believe he told you that. He never talks about that shit.”
“Why not?”
“Lilly, it’s not a fairy tale. His dad broke his arm.”
I gasped. My coffee would have spilled due to my shaking hand if it had been a full cup. James stilled them, taking the mug from me. My heart broke for him.
“No pity for me, Lilly. I don’t do pity well. I don’t like it.”
“No pity here, James. Just sympathy. You understand the difference?”
“I do.”
“I think he told me, not so I could understand his past, but so I could appreciate yours. What happened?”
He smiled, placing his hand over mine. I got lost in his beautiful eyes as his thumb caressed my wrist.
“How do I say this? I’d like to think our mom did a decent job raising men.”
“She did.”
“But she really sucked at picking them. My dad took off before I was born, but Colt’s dad stuck around, and we wished he hadn’t. Some physical stuff happened during our childhood.”
I shivered, imagining him as a young boy carrying such a heavy burden on his shoulders. “On the day of the game, I stopped home to get a fresh uniform. I found Colt with a broken arm and Mom with a black eye. I just lost it. Colt has always been my brother. There was nothing half about him. When he was born, I swore I’d be the best big brother I could be.”
“You are. It’s obvious from the way he talks about you. He loves and admires you very much.”
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br /> “Thanks, but I was different as a kid. I lacked control, especially that night. Once we got back from the hospital, I took off to find my stepfather. I didn’t have far to go. He was at the bar.” He stopped his story, staring at me for some kind of confirmation.
“What happened?”
“I don’t want you to judge me, but I also don’t want to keep anything from you.”
“Then don’t. You can be honest with me.” In fact, I felt myself fuming on his behalf, a laser-like beam of rage pointed in the direction of a man I’d never met before, one who’d beaten a child and woman.
He swallowed, his voice coming out so low, I had to strain to hear him. “I almost killed him.”
“I wouldn’t blame you if you had.”
“You wouldn’t?”
“Not in that circumstance.”
“Well, you’re better than the courts. They sent me to juvie since we weren’t under duress at the time. I couldn’t plead self-defense. But that bastard never came back into our home, and for that alone, I would do it again.”
“I’m sorry, James.” I could picture him, a boy fighting a grown man. He had a need to protect his family.
“It’s okay. I don’t have a ton of luck, but I think the timing was lucky. It was a few days before my seventeenth birthday so they didn’t try me as an adult. My record is sealed, which allowed me to enlist.”
“I admire you. You stand up for the people you love. You are a true hero. I think you do belong in the pages of a fairy tale.”
I lowered my eyes, swallowing down my sadness for all his losses. He finger slid under my chin, tilting my head so our eyes met. “Lilly, nothing about my life is a fairy tale. The spell? That woman was having an affair with Colt’s dad. She didn’t hate me. She hated our mom and cursed her oldest son. It had nothing to do with the other stuff. Colt didn’t know that. Mom and I never told him. The whole thing is laughable to me, but Colt was younger. He romanticizes it and doesn’t remember it correctly.”
“Or he just has a different version. Maybe you don’t think of yourself as a hero, but I do. Meeting you feels like a fairy tale.”
He shrugged off the compliment. James Hutchinson, the humble and handsome prince who’d stolen my seat.
He laughed suddenly, the tilt of his mouth shifting to a devilish grin. “They don’t fuck like we do in fairy tales.”
