by J. S. Scott
She could argue that plenty of things were impossible for her, but she was relieved just to have gotten through the experience of being back on the ice. For so many years, she’d been afraid that she wouldn’t be able to skate again. Whether the notion had been rational or not, she’d been too afraid to find out whether or not she’d lost her skills along with her hearing. The two things were intertwined: skating and music. Without being able to hear the notes, she’d assumed that she’d be unable to perform at the same level as before.
I’m out of practice, but I can work up to doing the more difficult jumps.
Tessa had done it once, and she knew she could do it again. Maybe she wouldn’t be of the same caliber as before. She was older, deaf, and hadn’t worked on any skating routines in years. But the raw ability was still there to be able to perform a good routine. She just needed time on the ice.
Her heart was still pounding with exertion and euphoria as she looked up at Micah and smiled. She was grateful to him for pushing her, making something she loved part of her life again.
The deliciously dangerous, hungry look in his eyes made her smile falter, her body start to clamor for something far more primal than a hug.
I can’t want him. He’s a Sinclair and I’m a washed-up former Olympic champion. He dates supermodels, for God’s sake. I can’t confuse his kindness for desire.
Tessa had fought her instincts for days now, and it was getting harder and harder not to remember Micah’s hard, muscular body completely nude. God, he’d been breathtakingly perfect, a flawless specimen of masculinity that wouldn’t leave her mind. Unfortunately, that image had never gone away, and when he looked at her like he wanted to have her for dinner, she was so damn tempted to throw herself at him and beg him to make a meal of her.
She froze, unable to break his gaze, the longing she felt reflected in his gorgeous dark eyes.
He can’t want me. He can’t want me. He can’t want me.
The mantra pounded in her head, but she met him halfway as his head lowered and he captured her mouth with his, blowing the chant straight from her brain.
He did want her right now, and she wanted him back.
Tessa moaned as his decadent embrace swept everything from her mind except getting closer, getting more of the sweet, assertive dominance of his mouth. His tongue probed demandingly, as though he wanted to own her. She opened to his commands, happily succumbing to the rampant pleasure that was Micah’s domination of her senses.
He was relentless as he freed her hair and sunk his fingers into the curls that sprang from their confinement, tilting her head with her unbound locks so he could plunder deeper.
Yes. Yes. Yes.
Her body sang with sensual longing as she wrapped her arms around his neck, feeling like she wanted to crawl inside him. Her hands speared into his hair, her heart pounding with excitement as the sensation of the coarse tendrils threaded through her fingers. Her world was quiet, which left her so much more focused on the sensations, making them so much more sensually delicious.
Closing her eyes, she allowed both sight and sound to be eliminated, leaving her only the feel of Micah. She let herself drown in his increasingly passionate embrace, her nipples hardening as he jerked her closer, molding her body against his harder form. Her core clenched hard as he put one strong hand on her ass and lifted her up until her pelvis was grinding into him, her legs wrapping around his waist.
He moved on his blades, but she scarcely noticed when he plopped her butt down on the wall of the rink, barely breaking his sensual assault as his lips trailed down the sensitive skin of her neck.
“More, Micah. I need more,” she whimpered, fisting his hair in desperation as his mouth left her skin. He pulled her head back to look at him.
Automatically, her eyes opened and she looked at his mouth. “I need to touch you, Tessa. I need to watch you come for me.”
The look in his eyes was insistent and feral. “Then touch me,” she pleaded. “Please.”
She couldn’t bear for the intense sensation to be over.
She needed . . .
She burned . . .
She had to have something to stop the fiery ache between her thighs, the painful puckering of her nipples, the fierce longing in her soul.
It had been so long since anyone had touched her intimately, and she’d never been overwhelmed by this kind of passion . . . ever.
The first touch of his fingers on her core wrenched a moan from deep inside her throat. Micah caressed her softly over the fabric of the skimpy material, then delved beneath it, baring her pussy as he shifted the fabric aside.
Tessa shivered as the cold air in the rink wafted between her thighs, the feeling chillingly erotic. Out of habit, she’d waxed, leaving her bare in preparation for wearing a skating skirt again. It left her feeling vulnerable and aroused as Micah stroked over that sensitive naked skin.
Her fingers tightened in his hair, and she tried to close her eyes, but he stopped until she opened them again. “Please.” It was the only word she could get out of her mouth. Her brain and body were senseless and greedy, wanting nothing except Micah’s hands on her.
“Don’t close your eyes,” he insisted. “Watch me. Watch who is about to make you come.”
Like she could forget? Tessa shuddered when his fingers deftly delved between her saturated folds, the large digits exploring like they wanted every one of her secrets.
“Oh, God,” she whimpered, her body responding to every single movement he made.
There wasn’t a second of hesitation as he sought and found her clit, rolling over it again and again with his thumb as his fingers explored deeper.
Her breathing became ragged as he thrust a finger into her slick sheath, her muscles contracting around it as though they had a mind of their own.
“Yes. Please, Micah,” she cried as her hips moved and tried to grind against his hand.
“I’ll take care of you, Tessa,” he told her, her eyes still glued to his face. “Christ! You’re so tight, but so damn wet for me. You feel so fucking good.”
“I want you!” she screamed, almost unable to keep her eyes open and on his face.
“Good. Because I’ve wanted you ever since I first saw you.” His eyes were tumultuous as he drove her higher and higher.
If her mind was functional, she would have doubted his claim, but her body was in control, Micah playing it like a musical instrument that belonged to him.
She fell into the rapid rhythm of Micah retreating and entering her channel while he teased her clit mercilessly with his thumb.
Her belly fluttered and then the knot she’d been feeling there began to unfurl as he moved impossibly faster.
His eyes stayed glued intensely on her face, his expression determined. The carnal, heated look in his eyes made her come undone. Since she couldn’t hear, it made his stormy gaze so much hotter. There was only sight and sensation, and both combined were highly erotic.
Her climax washed over her body like waves in a turbulent, stormy sea, sending her body adrift while the pulsations of release seized her, pummeled her.
“Yes. Oh, God.” Her eyes closed as she shuddered with the aftermath of her climax.
She was trembling as Micah lowered his mouth and kissed any breath she had left right out of her body. Still, she kissed him back, trying to communicate every emotion she was feeling.
Finally, he wrapped both of his arms around her tightly as she became a panting mess in his embrace.
His unique, masculine scent filled her nostrils as she rested her head against his chest, completely spent. This man had rocked her world, and he hadn’t removed a single article of his own clothing.
He pulled her head back gently with her hair. “You looked so beautiful when you were coming, Tessa. You still do.”
She shook her head. “I’m a mess,” she admitted.
“I want you so damn much. But not here. Not like this.” He paused before asking, “Have you been with anyone recently? Y
ou’re so damn tight.”
Tessa wanted Micah so desperately that she considered lying, but she couldn’t. She liked him too much, owed him too much to not be honest. “I’ve haven’t been with anybody since I lost my hearing,” she confessed. “Before that, there was only one man.”
She watched as the expression on his face turned incredulous and then wary.
“That long?” he asked. “How? Why?”
Tessa shook her head. “I was barely twenty-one when I lost my hearing. I was engaged to a man I’d met while I was competing in the Olympics. He was older than me, and an important businessman. I think I was overwhelmed by his attention. Eventually, I figured out that he just wanted a female athlete on his arm for his business and his ego. An Olympic champion. He owns a sports-equipment company, and when I couldn’t be that showpiece for him anymore, he dumped me.” She paused, remembering how she’d turned herself inside out to be the woman that Rick had wanted her to be, even before she’d gone deaf. She’d dressed, walked, and talked just the way he wanted her to, and she’d gone along with it, still amazed that a man as accomplished and wealthy as Richard Barlow wanted her.
In the beginning, Rick had bowled her over, wined and dined her until she was mesmerized by his larger-than-life presence. In the end, she’d found out just what he was really made of—a big pile of crap. Nothing about Rick had been real, and she hadn’t been the love of his life. She’d been his slave, molded into the perfect image of what he’d wanted. Unfortunately, the sculpted Theresa Sullivan had fallen apart, and her ex-fiancé hadn’t wanted any of part of Tessa. He’d only cared about the exceptional athlete.
His rejection had been a crushing blow to a woman who was still trying to accept the world in a whole new way. She’d moved back to Amesport with her parents and started to build a whole new life again as a deaf woman. But life had delivered several harder blows before she could even begin to cope with becoming deaf and losing the man who had seduced her into her first and only intimate relationship.
She briefly explained her thoughts to Micah, telling him that there hadn’t really been a guy who was interested in her since she’d lost her hearing and Rick had broken their engagement.
Really, no guy had ever taken the time to get to know her after she’d become deaf.
“Believe me, they’re interested. You’re too damn beautiful to pass any guy without him wanting you.”
Tessa heard his voice in her head.
In her mind, Micah was almost growling. The imagined tone was low and savage, matching his savage expression.
It wasn’t like she intended to be self-deprecating, but that she was at a disadvantage in the dating world was fact.
She shrugged. “I haven’t met any of those men,” she answered glumly, knowing that it could possibly be her standoffishness that kept men away. She didn’t want to go through the heartache she’d suffered in the past again. Right now, she was safe, and she liked it that way.
“Yes, you have met one,” Micah answered, jamming a finger into his chest. “Me. I want you.”
Micah was an exception. Tessa knew he wanted her, but she didn’t understand why. “You make me feel things I’ve never felt,” she confessed.
Micah could make her body burn with just a glance, like the dangerous look that he was wearing now.
Tessa let him lift her from the wall of the rink, breaking eye contact with him as he lowered her slowly to the ice. He held her hand as she stepped out of the rink and sat down on a bench to remove her skates.
Maybe he was uncomfortable with her confession, but they’d been in the process of becoming friends for the last few days. While she wasn’t always as forthcoming as she’d just been because of her past, she didn’t lie to friends, either. While it was obvious that Micah was lusting after her, she felt more than just lust.
When they were both ready to leave, Micah reached for her hand, but hesitated before leading her to the door.
“Why is it that you haven’t tried cochlear implants? Are you not a candidate?”
Tessa stiffened, pulling her hand from his. “I am. And I tried. It didn’t work.” He was broaching the last subject she wanted to discuss right now.
“Why?”
She sighed, knowing she wasn’t getting away with a partial explanation. “I was thrilled when I had the surgery for the first one and I started to hear again. The voices were kind of robotic and nothing like I remembered, but I got used to it, and the sounds started to sound more normal after a while.” She paused, remembering the pain of losing her hearing all over again. “Then I got an infection, and the device started to fail. They had to remove the implant, and I was deaf again before I even had the chance to have the second one done.”
Maybe it was better that she’d never had the full experience of hearing again. Maybe it had made the loss easier. But she couldn’t help but remember the crushing disappointment of the implant not working. She couldn’t imagine anything being much worse.
“Can’t you try it again?”
Tessa moved toward the door with Micah right on her tail. “I could, but the risk of infection is still there, and it’s expensive. We need the restaurant more than we need me to hear right now.”
“Insurance—”
“Doesn’t cover everything,” she interrupted as she turned and saw the word on his lips. “The implants are outrageous, around a hundred thousand dollars for both sides. Liam and I don’t have the kind of money to try again. We’d just be throwing money away if it doesn’t work. I want the restaurant restored before I even think about doing the surgery. It’s how we make our living. It’s our parents’ legacy. We can’t let it go any longer.”
“But if it could give you back your hearing, isn’t it worth taking a risk someday?”
“No!” Tessa turned her back on him and pushed her way through the door, leaving Micah behind to lock up the skating rink.
CHAPTER 5
Later that evening, Tessa lay in bed and tried to read, but she was restless. She’d been a real bitch to Micah. After all, he’d just been trying to help. Tessa knew that, but the ache of disappointment over the failure of her attempted implant still haunted her. Insurance did cover a lot, but she knew Liam had shelled out money they didn’t have to help her hear again. She’d gotten some offers for endorsements along with her gold medal, but Richard had discouraged her from anything that took away from her skating. He’d said there would be time enough for her to make money later, but that time hadn’t ever come. She’d lost the opportunities in order to be Richard’s personal star. She regretted so many things she’d done, how she’d handled her post-Olympic years. All of that time, all of those offers wasted on a man who hadn’t been worth it.
I was so young and so ignorant.
She sighed as she thought about her failed cochlear implant. She’d had her hearing again, even if things did sound different with the device placement. Her hope had been to get the other ear done and have her life fully restored.
That had never happened.
Instead, she’d been submerged in a soundless world, the same place she’d been living before the implant. Sometimes she was convinced that it was better to never have that experience again, to be satisfied that she was safe and content rather than experience that kind of devastation. She’d plummeted into a depression that had nearly swallowed her whole after the failed implant. It had been the final knockout punch after her parents had died, and it was a place she never wanted to visit again.
Granted, she would probably handle the situation better now. A lot of her heartache was resolved, but there was still a wariness that she couldn’t shake, a desire to protect herself from falling down so far she couldn’t get up.
Tessa shuddered and tossed her book on the bedside table. Shifting the covers aside, she got up, knowing she wasn’t going to sleep anytime soon.
She was already taking a chance by even attempting to perform again. There was every possibility she could fall on her ass and make a fool of h
erself, but that risk had always been there, even when she’d had her hearing. Tessa knew she could handle that pressure. It was familiar.
The unknown was much scarier.
She felt the rumble in her stomach and realized she was hungry. Not knowing what to do with her restlessness, she stopped in the kitchen and made herself a sandwich. She’d been so thrown off balance by Micah’s questions about her implants that she’d sprinted out of his truck when he dropped her off, not asking him in for dinner like she usually would.
Frowning as she scooped tuna into a pita pocket, Tessa admitted that she missed his company, regretted not asking him to have dinner with her. She was getting used to him being around the house, and her heart skittered as she contemplated what had happened at the skating rink. Micah had turned her world upside down so easily, with little more than a kiss and an intimate touch.
I don’t regret it, but I can’t take this any further with him.
Micah Sinclair was dangerous—a guy she knew she could end up caring about way too much. There was nothing there but heartache for her in her future if she didn’t put her walls up with him now. The difficulty was . . . he was simply hard to set boundaries with. He was bossy, but that wasn’t why she was struggling to keep him at arm’s length.
It’s the connection I feel with him.
For some unknown reason, she really didn’t have a hard time telling Micah how she felt about anything. Hell, he could make her spill her guts if she wasn’t careful. He was just that good at dragging the truth from her, and he did it without being judgmental. Honestly, he was just really easy to talk to. For a man who cheated death for a living, he was incredibly grounded in the real world.
Tessa devoured her sandwich over the sink, smiling at the assortment of chocolate bars she had picked up at the market. Micah ate fairly healthy, but chocolate was his downfall. It was actually one of Tessa’s favorite sweets, too, but she stayed away from it since she was back into her conditioning. Nothing packed on the pounds faster than chocolate for her. She might as well take one from the wrapper and apply it onto her ass. That was how fast it would make her gain weight. Since she had spent years avoiding it, she still only indulged on special occasions.
