by K. R. Smith
“B, you’ve got it all wrong and if you’d just let me explain -”
“And let you use more of your ‘Jedi’ mind games on me? No way in hell!!” I yelled in his face.
“B please -”
“These are not the droids you’re looking for!” I quoted sarcastically. “Yeah right! How about I go running and tell every single woman who’s unlucky enough to be married to you sneaky Werewolf bastards what’s really happening in this tribe?!”
“Come on, it’s not like that! If you would just let me explain -”
I put my hands over my ears again and started singing loudly, ‘Lust For Life’ by Iggy Pop to drown out his voice. “Here comes Johnny yeah, with the liquor and the drugs…”
“Come on, B!” He laughed again. “Not that you don’t look cute doing that? But I think you should calm down and just hear me out.”
I spun around to storm on ahead with my hands over my ears and singing loudly as I went.
STOP!
Huh? I stopped in surprise to look around in bewilderment.
TURN AROUND.
What was that? I turned around as I continued to look about. Where the hell did that come from? Is the bloodlust causing me to hallucinate now?!
LISTEN TO ME.
My hands lowered from my ears as I madly looked about, almost a little fearfully. Don’t tell me I’m going insane and I’m starting to hear voices inside my head? Thanks to my hesitation, Grant caught up once more.
“Did you hear that, or did you feel that?” He took hold of my shoulders to make me look his way.
“Did you hear that?” I looked on in shock.
“B, did you hear the words, or did you feel those words just then?” he repeated.
I blanched as I took a frightened step backwards…did HE just do that?!
“You felt my words, didn’t you?” He asked knowingly. “You felt them here… ” He placed his hand over my heart.
Grant was right, it was as if the words originated from my chest and ended up in my head.
“How did you do THAT?” I demanded.
“I feel the words all the time.” He shrugged. “I feel them from the pack, when we receive an order from our First or Second. I feel the words when one of us is on patrol and they need backup.”
“You mean we’re telepathic?!” I asked in amazement.
“Yes and no.” He emitted a small smile. “We’re more empathic. I’ve heard from your Uncle Julian being married to a telepath that he and his mate can have complete mental conversations with each other. I’ve heard that your Aunt Danika can also see images in other people’s heads. When Lokoti Werewolves send mental messages to other members of the pack, we primarily sense the emotion behind them. It takes a lot out of us so we can only send short bursts or commands.”
“Is it what you use on your wives?!” I glowered with distrust.
“If you weren’t another Lokoti Werewolf, you wouldn’t have heard the words but you would have felt the will behind them. Usually we can’t hear words from our human mates but we feel it when you’re hungry or we feel it when you’re tired or ill. I feel it when you’re worried about something and I also feel when you’re scared…like right now.”
“No.” I shook my head in disbelief. “I heard those words in my head! I heard the words ‘stop’ and then ‘turn around’ and then ‘listen to me’!”
Grant’s eyes widened, as he looked on impressed. “Usually it can take weeks or months for a new Lokoti Werewolf’s mind to fall into line with the rest of the pack. I didn’t hear the words, as I only felt the will for the first couple of months of my change.”
As I pondered on his words, I realized that he was right. I remembered the times Dad would suddenly leave the house without word where he was going. He would depart in the middle of the night when it wasn’t for a hunt nor was it his turn to patrol. Once he abruptly left the dinner table in the middle of a meal and Mum guessed the pack had called on him for a fight on the border.
This also reminded me of something else, of the night I first changed. That night I ran through the woods towards town, the pack just suddenly appeared, sensing where I was going and why. I had always wondered how the other Werewolves managed to appear out of nowhere. Did they telepathically or empathically hear my actions?
“Yes.” He answered, as if he even felt my thoughts. “It was how we sensed your change that first night. It was how we knew which direction you were heading in and why.”
“What did you hear or feel?”
“FEAST! FEED! RED MEAT! FRESH MEAT! HUMAN MEAT.” Grant recited.
My eyes almost popped out of my skull by the accuracy!
“I – I – I had stomach cramps! I felt like I had to eat human to make the pain go away.” I said weakly.
“I know just as the pack knows this, B. We’ve all been there.” He said patiently.
My eyes watered as I looked away and took a deep breath to pull myself together.
He continued, “I felt what you were feeling when I was 10 years old. I thought I was losing my mind when I first went through the change! While other boys my age were experiencing growing pains, I had stomach cramps for not feeding on human. While the other boys my age grew tall naturally, my height and strength tripled supernaturally. If it wasn’t for Ian, your Dad and the rest of the pack’s help? I would have gone insane and let the bloodlust win. I learned that by the will of the pack, they could guide me away from craving human. The Lokoti Werewolf will isn’t just used on our mates, but we use it on each other.”
“But why would you want to use it on your mates?” I looked on, betrayed.
“Do you see us using it on your mother or your grandmother to make them do all the cooking and the cleaning for us? No. Have you ever see your father try to force your mother into doing something she didn’t want to do? No. B, we feel it when you’re cold or you’re ill, as we sense it in another member of the pack. Just as we would run to the aid of our pack in battle, we want to run to the aid of our mate. The Lokoti Werewolf is exceptionally protective over their mates and their young because of this. When your mother was pregnant with you and she left for England to train; your father could still sense while he was in Alaska, if she was cold or angry or scared. It frustrated him that he wasn’t there to help in some way. He tried to use his will to keep her warm and safe on Lokoti land, where he could do something.” He explained.
I still didn’t like the sound of that, as I looked down the dirt road that headed towards the community centre of our tribal lands.
Grant changed tact, “OK, here’s another way to look at how the Lokoti Werewolf might use his will over his mate; during childbirth.”
“Huh?” I gave him a funny look.
“When our mate gives birth, we’re always there, right beside her. We’ve been doing this for centuries, even before White Man’s medicine started to encourage the husband or the partner to be at the birth. Do you know why?” He arched his eyebrows and I shook my head. “The biological chora is a manifestation of our will. A Lokoti Werewolf can control his mate’s heart beat, her blood pressure, her stress level and even share our physical strength. Just say you went through a difficult birth and a complication arose; I can guarantee you that our Tribe’s Medicine Man isn’t about to ask the Werewolf to leave his mate. Instead, your Grandpa uses us to regulate our mate’s heart beat and breathing should he have to perform a procedure.”
This made me curious about something else, “is this also somehow related to why Gran and Mum only gave birth once?”
“Exactly!” He beamed at my question. “It’s not just our will over the woman, but the woman has her say over us too. If our bodies sensed that it would put our mate in danger if she conceived again, it shuts down our sperm production.”
“What?!” I cracked up laughing.
“It’s true.” He shrugged as he kicked a small stone away with his foot.
“So after Gran had Mum and Uncle Julian; Grandfather’s body just stopped? And a
fter Mum had me my Dad’s body just stopped?”
“And after my Mom had me, my Dad’s body stopped.” He said simply.
“Yeah but you’re the youngest of four children! Your Dad’s body didn’t have to stop after one birth. His sperm factory got to keep its job a lot longer then the men in my family.” I snickered.
He chuckled at the analogy before giving me a sheepish grin.
“So does that mean that you just stop having sex -” I started to ask when he interrupted.
“No!” he looked horrified by the very notion. “Hell no! We’re ready and we’re willing and we certainly are operational! We still come but it’s what comes out of us that’s changed.”
“Oh.” I looked down at the ground again. I started to draw lines in the dirt with the tip of my shoe as I felt a little shy talking about all of this.
“You maybe only starting to notice this about yourself, B? But Werewolves don’t just like to eat but we’re animals all around. We like the satisfaction that comes from hunting just as we like the act of procreation, even if there isn’t any procreating going on.” He gave a goofy grin.
I think I blushed again as I ducked my head whilst I tried to concentrate on drawing a pattern in the dirt. Actually, I had noticed this about Grant and others like him. Then I tried to banish from my thoughts the recollection of a particular rainy afternoon in the woods, with Declan. I vividly recalled the desperation on his face with his own loss of control…
He leaned in to growl playfully in my ear, “and considering the fact that there are two Werewolves in this marriage? I think that’s why we haven’t had any visitors. Everybody assumes that for the next month or so, we’ll be a little preoccupied.”
“Yeah, busy sewing up sheets!” I cracked up laughing as I nudged him away.
Grant laughed as well before he threw his arm about my shoulders and began to walk us down the dirt road towards the community centre.
“Come on, let’s get that lock from the General Store. The sooner we get it, the sooner we can get in some alone time after I fix the bathroom door.” He messed up my already messy hair.
“Hey!” I elbowed him off, “not the hair!”
Feeling in a better mood, I ran off ahead. For a couple of moments he was happy to just stand back and watch me run with my long, black hair streaming out from behind. He smiled softly to himself before he ran after, quickly catching up.
*****
Around 4 PM in the afternoon Grandfather, Gran, Mum, Dad and even Uncle Julian came over. I knew it wasn’t a social event by their solemn expressions let alone the absence of any light conversation.
“B.” My uncle said gravely.
“Hey Uncle Jules.” I tried to swallow but for the lump appearing in my throat.
“I came here via Circulate HQ to get some more DYSTAR off Vincent.” Gran held up the futuristic looking medical kit.
I knew well what it enclosed; futuristic syringes and more drugs. My heart skipped a beat as my stomach sank. I wasn’t aware that Grant was standing near until he put a supportive hand on my back, as if he could sense my apprehension.
“Alright,” I growled out, “let’s just get this over and done with.”
I turned and started to make my way upstairs when Mum queried; “where are you going?”
“To bed, so you can drug me!” I said sullenly.
Whilst I climbed the stairs, I caught Mum hiss at Dad; “I thought you said this marriage business was going to cure her all of this!”
Grant who overheard, turned his head sharply Mum’s way.
“Jess, not now!” Dad hissed back.
“How much longer is this going to go on for?” She glared at her husband.
“As long as it needs to.” Grandfather said calmly.
“Considering the fact that B is a Circulator and not just a Werewolf, it doesn’t exactly fill me with hope. Circulators can live up to 1,000 years in biological form!” She said grouchily.
“Then I’ll do my best to keep up with her, Jess.” Grant said simply before he turned to follow me up to our bedroom.
“Mum,” my mother turned to look on her mother, “surely we can think of something else besides drugging B every time that there’s a full moon?”
Gran stepped up closely to look on with a serious expression. “Yes we can, Jess. After this wretched full moon business is over, I’ll train B as a new Circulator.” My mother’s eyes widened in hope by this piece of news. She said firmly, “as B learns to control her ability as a Circulator, maybe it will also teach her self-control over the Werewolf part of her.”
“I’ll help.” My mother volunteered. “We’ll take her to Circulate HQ and together we’ll train her.”
“Er, Mum?” Uncle Julian spoke up. “Are you sure that’s a good idea? To train the new Circulator how to circulate, before we train the new Werewolf how to control the bloodlust? The Werewolf – slash – Circulator could then circulate right out of our grasp and go on a feeding frenzy.”
Mum turned to throw her twin a dirty look, “are you saying my daughter is a serial killer?”
“No, I’m saying that my niece is a new Lokoti Werewolf whom needs to be trained.” Uncle Julian returned.
“After this full moon is over then that is what we’ll do.” Grandfather came to stand beside Gran to lend his support. “The Circulate will train B as a new Circulator and the pack will train B as a new Werewolf.”
As he stood beside his mate; Dad went to Mum’s side.
“As Jess teaches B how to phase, we can train B how to adjust to the moons’ phases.” He said as he put his arm about Mum’s shoulders.
My grandparents exchanged a long look, before they looked on their daughter and son-in-law.
Uncle Julian rolled his eyes, but he still came to stand with the four. “Yeah well, count me in. You’re still annoying,” he looked Mum’s way, “but you’re still my sister.”
“Yeah and you’re an idiot.” She smirked.
“I love you too Jess.” He said wryly. Then he let out a loud laugh when she whacked him on the arm with her light speed reflexes.
*****
Instead of Vincent and Grandpa as the two men of medicine presiding, it was Gran and Mum as the residing Circulators.
“You know the drill.” Gran spoke crisply in her English accent. “We need to give you a sedative first to put you under before we apply the DYSTAR.”
I lay on the bed and watched with wide eyes as she prepared two syringes. Grant sat on the bed beside, also watching her closely as he held my hand. Grandfather, Mum, Dad and Uncle Jules stood close by, I’m not sure as guards or witnesses?
“Why isn’t Vincent doing this?” I gulped. Mum also looked to Gran for the answer. She continued by picking up the syringe with the sedative. “Gran?” I tensed up as she moved the syringe closer. “Where’s Vincent?”
My grandmother gave a pained look, “He doesn’t exactly agree to all of this.”
“What?” I raised my head. “You mean he doesn’t think I have to be drugged?”
“No B.” Gran faltered as she shared a glance with Grandfather, “Vincent doesn’t understand what’s happening here.”
“What do you mean, ‘he doesn’t understand what’s happening’?” I demanded, sitting upright.
Grant exchanged a long look with both Grandfather and Dad and I think the Werewolf part of me sensed their silent communication. Then my new husband frowned whilst he looked away and I watched his shoulders turn tense. My accute hearing picked up the low, dissatisfied growl that he emitted.
“B, let’s not talk about this now.” Grandfather spoke. “Let’s just do the procedure and concentrate on getting you through this full moon cycle.”
“No.” I raised my hands. “Tell me Gran, where’s Vincent?”
“Um…” Mum caught on to what Gran was trying not to say. Both women cast an uncomfortable look towards the men in the room as they tried to put it diplomatically, “your Calculator doesn’t understand Lokoti Werew
olves.”
“Huh?” I looked on in surprise.
“Vincent doesn’t like Werewolves. Alright, there I’ve said it!” Mum bit out guiltily. “I don’t know why but he just doesn’t.”
Nobody needed supernatural hearing to pick up the unhappy growls that came from Grandfather, Dad, Uncle Jules and Grant this time.
“Could it be because Vincent saw a Lokoti Werewolf claim the Circulator he was interested in?” Dad unhappily put his hands on his hips.
“I don’t know, he’s just always had a hard time with the idea of Werewolves.” She tried to say innocently. “When I first told him that I was married to a Werewolf, he offered drugs which could treat delusional behavior. When he found out what I said was true, he freaked out and had a panic attack. Next, he accused my Werewolf husband of primitive behavior because you tried to stop me from training my ability as a Circulator.”
“You were pregnant when he taught you self-defense!” He cried out in frustration.
“Don’t maul the messenger!” She rolled her eyes. “I’m just saying that Vincent’s always had a hard time dealing with the idea of Werewolves. He pictures you guys as rampaging monsters, thanks to your strength and your bloodlust. In his opinion, you’re a thin line away from joining the character Pat Bateman in ‘American Psycho’!”
“European Werewolves may be like that but not Lokoti Werewolves.” He scowled.
Oh…Dad just put down Declan. My father just put down Declan because he was a European Werewolf. His words caused a small twinge of pain in my heart, but I tried to cover it when Grant who must have sensed it, looked my way closely.
“Moving right along now,” Gran cleared her throat, “Vincent and his prejudice’s aside, we have to focus on B right now.”
My eyes became glued to the syringe she was holding as I nervously licked my lips. “You know what? We don’t HAVE to right now, Gran. We can talk about Vincent a little longer if you’d like?”
My husband gently lowered me back down onto the bed. “I’ll be right by your side.” He promised as he squeezed my hand.
Gran placed the futuristic syringe against my neck and I heard the tell-tale HIIIISSSS as the drug was pushed through my skin in a compressed spray.
