Living with her family was a temporary arrangement, and Lindsey was grateful for their generosity since they weren’t charging her rent. If things could just pick up she hoped to earn enough for a down payment on a new place of her own. Maybe a studio in one of downtown Preston’s old buildings. She’d be closer to her friends there. Or a two-bedroom apartment so she could have some space to work. Something was bound to come along. Had to, because Lindsey just knew her business was never going to become what she dreamed it could be if she didn’t find a way to make it happen. She wanted nothing more than to run a thriving design and restoration company.
She currently still had her online shop where she sold small items like restored light fixtures and accessories, and she consigned her larger items in a booth down in the West Bottoms at an antiques store. But she wanted more. She dreamed of having a studio of her own. Maybe even a small storefront where design clients could meet with her. Another reason why this feature in the Kansas City newspaper was so important for her. She hoped it might help her business to take off.
The bathroom door opened and a cloud of steam followed Melanie out. Her wet hair was wrapped in a towel and her robe was gaping open. “Mommy’s here, bean,” Melanie said in her baby voice as she lay down on the bed to feed her child.
It was certainly something special to watch your sister become a mother. Sometimes Lindsey felt a twinge of jealousy, but mostly she felt pride. All of her life Mel had lived what appeared to be a charmed life. She was an exotic beauty with almond skin and dark eyes, and lustrous mahogany hair courtesy of her mother, Geri.
Lindsey’s thick dark hair and unibrow had been parting gifts from her own mother. A full-blooded Italian who up and left when Lindsey was three. Wax and tweezers had fixed her eyebrow situation, but she’d never seen her mother again. Instead she was left with a mess of a father whom she’d spent more time mothering than he spent looking after her. A father Lindsey loved more than anything. Thanks to him she’d inherited some of Mel’s features, the dark hair and healthy curves, but she’d still sometimes envied her big sister.
As sad as it sounded, Lindsey’s childhood hadn’t been completely devoid of a woman’s influence. Geri had sometimes invited Lindsey back home with Mel for weekend stays. Treated her like a stepdaughter. Lindsey cherished those visits, learning what it truly meant to be a proud Mexican woman. A strong woman in general. She was still trying to put those lessons into practice.
Mel’s voice pulled Lindsey’s thoughts back into focus.
“I didn’t even see you yesterday. I was surprised to find you already in bed when we got home from dinner,” Melanie said. She glanced past Eden’s head and her eyes went wide. “Oh my God, what happened to your arm?”
Lindsey gave a weak smile. “Just a sprain.”
“Are you sure? With that big old brace? What were you doing?”
“Sledding.”
“Linds. Does it hurt?”
“Yeah, it does. I have some pain meds, so it’s not too bad.”
“I didn’t even know you were going sledding,” Mel said.
“It wasn’t planned. I went with Anne and Claire.” Lindsey lifted her wrapped wrist and turned it, wincing in pain.
“Did you go to the hospital?” Mel asked, her voice full of concern.
“I did. They took an X-ray, but it’s fine. I just have to keep it in this brace for a while.”
“How will you work on Anne’s house like that?” Lindsey stroked Eden’s fuzzy head as she nursed.
“Well, it will be tricky, that’s certain. I’m sure I can manage,” Lindsey said. But what she was thinking about was how Derek had offered to help her with her projects last night before he’d arrived at their building. She’d said thanks but had been noncommittal. Surely there had to be another option. The thought of working in his presence for hours sounded like the fastest way to make herself crazy.
Mel shook her head. “You should have called me, sis. I can’t believe you were at the hospital and I didn’t even know.”
“It’s not a big deal, and I was just fine. Promise.” Lindsey debated telling her sister about Derek. She knew it would bother Mel, considering eight years ago she’d been ready to key his car, egg his house, and sell his identity to the first e-mailing prince offering a reward. Mel was not going to be happy when she found out Derek was back in the picture, in any capacity. Melanie was strong, had never let a man decide anything for her, and didn’t allow anyone to push her around. Lindsey had always admired that about her sister. If somebody hurt Mel—or even tried to—they’d never live it down.
When Derek had ended things Melanie had been the first person Lindsey told. Looking back, it might have been a mistake. “Screw him,” she’d said. “He’s an asshole and he doesn’t deserve to breathe your air.” But even though Mel was on Lindsey’s side, she’d never understood why she was so devastated when the guy clearly didn’t deserve Lindsey’s tears. That was easy for strong-as-steel Melanie to say, but it had hurt Lindsey, made her feel weak.
“Is something going on?” ever-intuitive Melanie asked as she picked Eden up, sat, and then leaned in the opposite direction. Eden let out a wail and Melanie shushed her as she adjusted her breast so Eden could get back to her breakfast. Lindsey hoped that during the interruption of switching sides, Melanie would let her question drop.
“Okay, so tell me what’s wrong,” Melanie said as she got situated. All right, so she wasn’t dropping it. Lindsey could handle this. And honestly, if she was interested in being strong, standing up for herself, then it had to start with her very own sister. She didn’t need to apologize or explain anything about her life.
“Nothing’s … wrong. Exactly,” Lindsey said, not making eye contact. So apparently being strong was easier said than done. There was always the option of lying and not telling Mel. But Lindsey couldn’t imagine how that would work. Mel and Brett were invited to Anne’s wedding, so she was bound to recognize Derek. And then Lindsey really needed her sister’s advice.
“Sis, I can see something is up with you. Spill.”
Lindsey sighed. Might as well rip it off like a Band-Aid. “So … I didn’t tell you, but last fall, I ran into Derek Walsh again.”
Melanie was quiet for a moment, then her eyes narrowed. “Do you mean frat-boy asshole Derek Walsh?”
“The one and only.”
“And by ran into, you mean…”
“You know Mike, Anne’s fiancé? Well, it just so happens that he and Derek are best friends.”
“And you’re just now telling me this?” Surprisingly she didn’t sound too annoyed. “Have you spoken with him?”
Lindsey hesitated.
“You have.” Melanie sighed. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.”
“I know, Mel. It’s just … I was kind of hoping to treat it like a nonissue. I’ve been trying to avoid him, but it’s tough. He’s working on the house also. He’s the contractor.”
Mel’s mouth dropped open. “Linds…”
“I know, I know. He was there yesterday when we were sledding. He’s actually the one who took me to the emergency room.”
“What?” Mel said in exasperation. “I can’t believe this. All of this happening and I had no idea?”
“I’m sorry, Mel.” Lindsey shrugged her good side. “When I first saw him last fall you were pregnant, everything was about the baby, and then Eden was born and everything was still about her. I’m not complaining … I’m just saying, it didn’t seem important. I figured dwelling on it would just make it a bigger deal. I wanted—and I still want—the whole thing to be nothing at all.”
“Jesus, Lindsey. I think I could have handled making things about you for five minutes. I mean, this guy had you in the fetal position for weeks,” Melanie said, a bit of hurt in her voice.
Lindsey cringed at the reminder of that horrible time in her life. Of course, that was the part Mel would remember best. Who wouldn’t, she’d been a complete wreck. “I guess I just really didn’t
want to discuss it. But that has become impossible since I keep running into him everywhere.”
Melanie sighed and looked down at Eden, who had nearly drifted back to sleep, then lifted her eyes back up to Lindsey. “Has he been nice?”
“Well … yeah.” And he had been. Too nice. Even considering that yesterday she’d discovered that he was not only the jerk that dumped her, but also a liar. Lindsey chose to keep the news about Tanner to herself. Mel would flip, tell Lindsey how she should react. She couldn’t handle that right now. She needed to figure this out on her own.
“Is he still hot? I can see him being one of those guys that actually gets hotter as the years go by.”
Lindsey smiled. These were the conversations she enjoyed having with her sister. And of course Derek was still hot, but she didn’t even want to admit it out loud. The man had been gorgeous when she’d met him, and Mel was right, age only seemed to favor him. The small lines that creased the corners of his eyes were sexy, his shoulders were broader, and his legs fuller. Derek had put on manly bulk in all the right places.
“I’m gonna take that look as a yes. Dick,” Melanie said, sitting up on the bed. She tightened the robe around her waist, crossed her legs, and rested a satisfied Eden on the comforter in front of her. Without having to be told, Lindsey stood up and grabbed a diaper and wipes off the nightstand to hand over to her sister.
“What kind of car does he drive?” Melanie asked as she unsnapped Eden’s onesie.
Lindsey knew her answer would annoy her sister. “Well, he has a big-ass work truck, and when I first saw him again he was driving a Mercedes. Clearly being an architect is working out for him.”
Mel’s arms drooped and she rolled her eyes. “So typical. Well, you keep him in check. He does one thing to hurt you and I’ll lose it. I’m not kidding. I got a dozen eggs and a crowbar with Derek’s Mercedes written all over it.”
“I can handle this, Mel.”
Her sister’s eyes softened. “I know you can. But I’m a reactor. You’re always so levelheaded and understanding. Maybe it’s good. Now you can erase the fantasy of him from your mind. He’s just a man, like all the others. He doesn’t have a hold on your emotions any longer.”
After a while Lindsey stood up and headed back to her room. She was thankful for her sister’s love and support. Needed it. But she wished she felt as levelheaded as Mel seemed to think she was. Lindsey wanted to be that woman, but it was almost as if Derek’s return to her life reminded her of how bad being low could feel. And Mel was also wrong, because Lindsey’s emotions about her and Derek’s breakup did still feel like they were holding her hostage.
She was so fearful of losing herself the way she had back then. Hated that for so many years she’d been naïve, allowing people to treat her as a pushover. The new Lindsey deserved—and would demand—more. She’d just have to fake it till she made it.
* * *
Later that morning Lindsey headed north into Preston. After dropping off a few smaller items at Sweet Opal for consignment, she walked down to Callie’s Confections. The bakery was owned by her friend and fellow blogger Callie. Lindsey was in the mood for some of the baker’s perfect coffee and Callie’s amazing cinnamon rolls.
A bell jingled over Lindsey’s head as she stepped in the door. Instantly she was met with the scent of cinnamon and sugar. She inhaled deeply and sat down at a table off to the side. Callie gave her a wave as she helped the next person in line.
After a few minutes Callie joined her at the table, setting a cinnamon roll and a to-go coffee cup in front of Lindsey.
“I hate to be presumptuous but…” Callie said with a grin.
“Nope, you’re right, I definitely wanted that.” Lindsey picked up the cup and made to get up before Callie stopped her.
“I totally forgot you were one-armed.” Callie stood up and snatched the cup back. “I got you, girl.”
Lindsey smiled as she watched Callie saunter over to the little blue buffet she used as a coffee station.
“Vanilla or cinnamon?” Callie called over her shoulder.
“Vanilla sounds good.”
A moment later Callie walked back and set the steaming cup in front of Lindsey. “So Anne told me all about it. God, what a crock. And with Derek of all people. Anne said he looked completely devastated.”
Lindsey shook her head a little. “I don’t know about devastated but he definitely felt bad. It was an accident.” The conversation reminded Lindsey that she should return Anne’s call. They had spoken briefly after Derek had dropped her off. Anne had wanted to make sure everything was okay but Lindsey barely remembered the conversation she’d been so tired.
“So how’s this gonna go with you working on the house?” Callie asked. There was no irritation in her voice, even though Lindsey felt so guilty for being injured and unable to do her part of the work the way she’d planned. “I’m happy to help when you need it. Basketball season is over so there aren’t as many performances for the girls.”
In addition to owning the bakery and blogging, Callie also coached the local high school’s dance team. She was a workaholic and Lindsey wasn’t exactly sure how she managed to do it all and spend time with her boyfriend. There was no way she could ask Callie for help.
“No, I’ll figure this out.”
“Linds, you are down to one arm,” Callie said, emphasizing the last two words. She then gave Lindsey the Callie look. The one that said Are we seriously having this conversation right now? “You’re gonna need help.”
Lindsey smiled and shook her head. “You have like eighteen jobs, and Bennett to think about.”
Callie grinned at her boyfriend’s name. “That boy does keep me very busy.”
Holding up a hand Lindsey went on. “No details please. Anyway, you’re busy, Anne’s busy planning a wedding and running the blog.”
“Sometimes life gets crazy. But we take care of each other.” Callie picked up Lindsey’s coffee and took a drink. Lindsey appreciated Callie’s words more than she’d ever know, but there was another option.
“Would you think I’m crazy if I accepted an offer of help from Derek?”
Almost spitting the hot coffee on Lindsey, Callie swallowed and then grinned before she answered. “I think you’d be crazy not to. And I knew it. That broken arm is your kismet.”
“Well, it’s not broken so—”
Callie waved that information away like it was completely inconsequential. “You’re in a cast for goodness’ sake.”
“It’s technically a brace but—”
Callie groaned. “Lindsey. Stop fighting this. Definitely accept Derek’s offer to help you. I mean not because I don’t want to help. I’m totally your girl if you need me. But … this could be good. If nothing else it could be closure or something. Anne and Mike would be so happy to know that you guys had come to some sort of understanding. Anne hates for you to be uncomfortable.”
Lindsey sighed. She’d known two things before she’d stepped into Callie’s bakery. One, that she was going to accept Derek’s offer. And two, that Callie would say exactly what she’d just said. And that was what Lindsey had needed to hear. But there was also something she needed to share with her friend.
“You know, he broke up with me because of his son. His—now ex-wife—was pregnant.”
Callie’s eyes went wide and she leaned forward. “Oh my God. Did you just now find out? I thought you knew he had a son. Didn’t we discuss that?”
“Oh yes, I did know. But … I just assumed he’d broken up with me and eventually had a baby. I never dreamed it was part of the equation.”
Callie sagged into her chair. “Damn. So he was seeing you and someone else?”
Lindsey shook her head. “No. I mean, he says he wasn’t. I guess he’d broken up with his longtime girlfriend when he met me.”
“Do you believe him?”
Did she? The first answer to come to mind was yes. She couldn’t explain why. Whether it was just hope or blind trust. She
wasn’t sure but the answer was the same. “Yes. I do.”
Callie nodded, obviously thinking. “Derek doesn’t strike me as a cheater but sometimes they can surprise you. If you believe him then I do too.”
Lindsey nodded and then Callie went on. “So when he found out she was pregnant he broke things off with you because he thought it was the right thing to do? Marrying her.”
“Yep. I still wish he would have just told me that then.”
Callie gave Lindsey a sincere look. “Sweetie, would that really have made it any better?”
“No. It wouldn’t have. But I still deserved the truth.” Lindsey took a drink of the now communal cup of coffee.
“Well, I won’t argue with you there. But people do stupid things when they’re overwhelmed by emotional situations. And sometimes it requires us to forgive them. Trust me, I know.”
Lindsey smiled in understanding. “I know. I’m not looking for a relationship with him. Definitely not. But it would be nice to not have to hate him. Especially with the wedding coming up. I bet after that—and the house being done—we really won’t see each other too much.”
Callie didn’t look convinced. She gave Lindsey a teasing smile. “I guess only time will tell.”
Eight
Derek held the phone away from his mouth and sighed. He listened as Lisa went on about how inconvenient it was for her to have to rearrange her plans so Derek could have Tanner the weekend of Anne and Mike’s wedding.
At this point her arguments were getting ridiculous. She’d just tried to tell him that Tanner would be traumatized by walking down the aisle. This was what happened when Lisa started to feel out of control. Desperate. She was willing to try any tactic. It would be helpful if he could figure out what she was so afraid of, because he’d never given her any reason to believe he would take Tanner from her. That wasn’t his style. He knew his son needed his mother. He only wished she’d acknowledge that their son also needed his father.
Draw Me Close Page 9
