Jill came out of her slump. “Let me look at that thing,” she said. She read the infernal paragraph aloud once more: “A night of passion with Douglas Robert Morris for Danielle Joy Webster, to be delivered by Prince of Darkness Enterprises, in exchange for the souls of Ms. Webster and Mr. Morris, payment date to be determined later.”
I was so embarrassed that I avoided catching anyone’s eye. I looked out the balcony door, absorbed in watching the traffic on the highway.
“First of all,” Jill said, “there are no definitions for any of the terms. So this could be nullified for no other reason. “But the clincher is this: he made the sale, not in your home, but in your temporary home, this motel room, and on that basis, the federal three-day cooling-off period applies. You guys have three days to cancel this.”
“Seriously?”
“Seriously. You’re actually really lucky that he kept restarting your nights and taking you off the time grid. That cooked his goose.”
The room erupted in shrieks and hollers of joy. I participated in the most elated group hug ever, composed of Patty, me, Doug and Tina, all of us literally jumping up and down because Patty was, so the rest of us followed suit.
As the cacophony died down, I could hear Evie clamoring to be heard. “Danielle! Patty! I tried to tell you this before, but you wouldn’t listen!”
“No you didn’t, Mom,” I said.
“I did so! Rush Limbaugh and Dr. Laura have both mentioned the three-day cooling-off rule! And you wouldn’t listen, and neither would Patty, and neither would Jill!”
Patty and I looked at each other. “Come on, Dannie,” Patty said. We both went over to Mom and swept her up in a big hug. “Thanks, Mom, and sorry,” I said. “I’m glad you knew.”
Then it hit me. “Omigosh, what an idiot I am.”
“Why?” Patty asked.
“The Devil knew about the three-day rule. That’s why he tried to get me to stay with him for three days. He didn’t even need me to sign another contract, just to let this one I’d already signed go for three days.”
“We’re SO over him,” Jill declared. She took the contract in her hand and lifted it in the air. “Okay, you’ve both changed your minds, right?”
“Please,” Doug said. “You have to ask?”
“Here goes nothing,” said Jill, and ripped the heavy paper into little pieces.
She headed with determination over to Doug and Tina, but then stopped. “Any other signatures, any other contracts?”
“There’s that very first one I signed,” I said. “But he said this one superseded it.”
“If it’s here, let’s tear that one up, too,” Jill said. “May as well be as thorough as we can.”
“Now,” she said, “if there are no other legal matters hanging over our heads, you’re all free to go. Just leave that bottle of holy water with me,” she said, holding her hand out to Doug and Tina.
Chapter 14 – Red Diamond Redux
“Jill,” Father Fritz said hurriedly, “I haven’t met you—I’m Fritz, associate priest at Doug and Tina’s church, Saint Francis in Schaumburg. I’ve heard all about you, and I want to warn you that opening that bottle is not a good idea.”
Jill sighed. “If you’ve heard all about me, you’ve probably already heard the jokes about my poor choices with men.”
“Something like that,” he admitted.
Her eyes were brimming again. “I love him,” she said brokenly.
“It’s never a wise thing to wear your heart on your sleeve,” Evie said, shaking her head. “Much better to keep them guessing. Scold them all you want, but never let them see you cry.”
Father Fritz seemed struck by what Mom had to say.
Tina put her hand on Mom’s arm and said, “Father Fritz, this is one of the wisest women I know.”
“Are you sure they won’t let her live in their guest room?” Patty said in my ear.
“What if I open the bottle and promise not to cry? I can give him an earful,” she said with determination.
“That’s better,” approved Evie. “What do you think, Father Fritz?”
“I hate to loose him on an unsuspecting world again—“
“Oh, the world’s been warned,” Evie said, tossing her head. “The Devil rages about like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. That’s from the epistle of Peter, I believe.”
“First Peter five verse eight,” said Father Fritz. “You are an amazing woman. And here I am, a man of the cloth.” He sighed, then grinned at her charmingly.
“You priests are the worst,” she said, and grinned back at him.
“So that explains it,” Patty said in my ear. “He was devouring you. He must have been devouring Jill. How many other unsuspecting women has he devoured?”
I looked at her in dignified irritation. “Patty, cut it out. You’re not funny.”
Tina was waiting for instructions from Father Fritz. “Are you okay with this, Father?” she asked, holding the holy water.
“Honey, my stomach is hurting,” said Doug. “Excuse me, everyone.” He headed for the bathroom and shut the door. I could hear the bathroom fan switch on.
“Poor Doug, he doesn’t travel well,” Tina sighed. “I don’t think the hot sauce was a good idea.” She walked over to Father Fritz and handed him the bottle. “Do what you think is best,” she said. Turning to me, she said, “If that demon gets back out into the world, I don’t care what you do with him. But don’t even think of making any more wishes that involve my husband!”
“Believe me, I wouldn’t dream of it,” I returned, with what dignity I could muster. My dignity had sure taken a beating lately.
“Purely from a practical standpoint,” Father Fritz said, “This plastic bottle is not going to hold up for long. It was meant as a temporary conveyance of water that had been blessed. Nothing more. Unless we plan a more permanent containment, it probably doesn’t matter much whether we loose him now, or loose him later.” He handed the bottle to Jill. “But would you mind opening it in our presence? Just in case you need help?”
“Thank you, Father Fritz. I think I’m half in love with you,” Jill confessed, taking the bottle from him.
“Oh, you’re just trying to flatter an old man,” he said, smiling.
“No, she’s not,” Evie said. “And you’re not old!”
“You guys want to stand back?” Jill asked.
“Friendship Town just HAS to take this trip,” Evie said.
Jill uncapped the bottle of holy water.
Nothing happened.
“Brian,” she said. “Brian,” she said again. “I know you’re there. Please come out.”
“Oh,” the voice of Daemon Lucifer came out, sounding weirdly like a hollow echo from within the bottle, “I’m pretty content right where I am for now.”
“You come out right now, Brian Bunch,” Jill tried again. “What are you, a coward?”
No answer.
“If you don’t come out, I’m coming in after you,” she said.
“Ha!” the Devil taunted. “You can’t even fit a finger into this bottle.”
Jill jammed her index finger into the bottle and got it stuck. It took three of us to pull it out, and the resulting vacuum caused Daemon Lucifer to reemerge from the bottle with a pop.
The first thing he said wasn’t even addressed to Jill. “Where’s the bottle of hot sauce?” he demanded. His eyes fell on Father Fritz. “You again,” he commented. “I should have known. Where’s the hot sauce?”
Father Fritz pointed to the bedside table where it had been left. The Devil strode over to it, twisted the cap off, and dived in.
“This role playing is simply astonishing,” Evie said in admiration.
“No!” we heard an echoing shout of despair from inside the bottle. “Where is it?” With a mighty POP, the Devil was back out. Slimed and dripping with red runny hot sauce, he crossed the room and took a grip of Father Fritz’s lapels.
“What did you do with it?” he said,
in a dark and threatening tone.
“With what?” Father Fritz asked.
“You know what. What did you do with my diamond?”
The diamond. We all looked at each other. Mom looked utterly rapt.
“It went right into the hot sauce bottle,” Father Fritz said uncertainly. “I thought you must have gotten it back while you were in there.”
“Well, I thought I did, but it must have slipped back out of my pocket when Danielle opened the bottle.” He came over to me, twice his usual height. “What did you do with it?” he said, stooping over me and getting his face next to mine.
“Nothing!” I squeaked in fright. “I didn’t know anything about a diamond until Father Fritz told us about it.”
“I don’t understand,” Tina said. “Father Fritz told us it was really small, and you were going to donate it to the Pope. Why are you so anxious to get it back?”
“I’ll tell you,” Daemon Lucifer said slowly. “That diamond was the Diablo Diamond. It’s the purest and largest Fancy Red diamond ever discovered. It’s mine and I want it back.”
“But no one has it,” I said.
“Oh dear,” Evie said.
“What?” the Devil said, and strode over to her. “What do you know?”
“It’s not that I know anything, just that Doug just had a lot of hot sauce on his hash browns this morning.”
“Where is he?” the Devil shouted.
“Stop bullying my Mom,” Patty said. “He’s in there,” and she pointed to the bathroom.
Just then we heard the toilet flush. We all froze. The Devil’s eyes were bulging.
Doug emerged, looking pale. “Are you guys all feeling okay? I just threw up my breakfast. Tina, how ironic, you were talking about food poisoning before,” he said. “I feel totally wiped out. Could it have been the hot sauce? Oh, no—I may not be finished—“
As Doug turned back to the bathroom, the Devil roared like a lion, but instead of devouring anyone, he pushed his way into the bathroom just as Doug closed the door again. We heard some scuffling, the flush of the toilet again, then a large splash.
It took a long minute, but eventually Doug opened the door cautiously and came out.
“Where’s Daemon Lucifer?” I asked.
“Probably halfway to L.A.,” Doug said. “I heaved my guts again, and he dived right in as I flushed.”
“Are you sure you want Friendship Town to see the whole play, Mom?” Patty inquired.
Mom’s face was looking a bit green, but she said gamely, “This worked out fine. All the blood and guts took place offstage, just like in Shakespeare.”
Patty and I looked at each other.
There was a knock at the door.
Chapter 15 – Angel Redux
I threw open the door.
“Are you Miss Webster?” a good-looking woman with a beautiful head of tinted gold hair and wide eyes asked.
“Yes,” I said faintly. What now?
“Angel, come here,” she admonished.
Angel Battle came to the door, oozing indignation and resentment.
“Angel?” I asked. “What are you doing back here?”
“May we come in?” the woman asked pleasantly.
Wordlessly, I opened the door. She stopped, hesitated, and said, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
“No problem,” I said. “We had a conference here, and I think we’re wrapping it up. You’re Angel’s mom? Marjorie, right? I think I remember you from her IEP meeting a couple years back.” We shook hands.
“That’s right,” she said, looking at me favorably. “Again, I’m sorry to interrupt, but Angel has something to return to its owner. Angel?”
Angel came forward and said crossly, “I wasn’t supposed to take this. I saw it on the counter and it looked like it didn’t belong to anyone. Mom says I should have looked for the owner.” She held out her hand reluctantly.
“The hot sauce diamond!” Evie cried out.
“I thought it must have fallen out of someone’s engagement ring,” Marjorie Battle explained. “It’s not something Angel’s supposed to have.”
Father Fritz introduced himself. “Thank you so very much for your efforts, Mrs. Battle. This diamond belongs to the Roman Catholic Church. It had actually been stolen previously, and Angel’s taking it prevented a worse theft. For that I am truly grateful,” he said, looking at Angel with kindness.
“I wish I could send the diamond to Salt Lake City, to the LDS Church. But it’s not mine or Angel’s to make such decisions. We won’t intrude further. We have a long drive back. Come, Angel, shake hands with everyone, and let’s go.”
She went briskly out of the room.
Angel dawdled sulkily behind her, giving Evie the opportunity to offer a helpful hint in a stage whisper.
“No slouching, dear, or you’ll be mistaken for a thirteen-year-old.”
With flashing eyes, Angel marched angrily out of the room.
Chapter 16 – First Class Entertainment
Father Fritz said, “I was tempted. So tempted.”
“To keep it yourself?” I asked, but everyone in the room denounced that idea.
“Well, I don’t know,” I said crabbily. “What else could it be?”
“I was tempted to just let her keep it,” Father Fritz confessed. “It would have removed a major burden from me. But I can give it to my bishop when I get back to Schaumburg. He’ll take care of it from there.”
Patty was consulting her phone. “Whoa. No, you did the right thing. I googled the Diablo Diamond, and though it’s only a bit more than five carats, because of its color, it’s valued at eight million dollars. No teenager can handle such a responsibility, especially without knowing what exactly she has.”
I was thinking. “You know,” I said slowly, “I’ve been wrong about parents.”
Evie said, “You’re wrong about me all the time, young lady. It’s about time you realized it.”
“Touché,” I laughed. “But I’m talking about parents of my students. Do you know how often I’ve heard teachers say, ‘The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree’?”
Father Fritz said, “I’ve heard it a lot just talking to the teachers at the parish high school.”
“Well, apples do fall far from the tree. And once they fall, they don’t stay put. They might roll, or something. Angel has a mom who’s doing a great job bringing her up. Maybe I’ll run into Angel one day, working somewhere and being useful, and maybe she’ll have turned into a nice person.” I thought a minute longer. “Oh, probably not.”
“Maybe you’ll go back into teaching one day,” Patty commented mischievously.
“No,” I said, unhesitatingly.
“Well, good!” said Jill. “That’s the best news I’ve had all day. I need you, Danielle. I would hate to lose you to a bunch of spoiled brats!”
“Then there’s Jill,” commented Patty. “She’s still growing and learning, too. One of these days she’ll meet a guy who deserves her.”
“Absolutely,” Father Fritz seconded. “You have a gift for unconditional love,” he said to her. “Don’t squander it!”
“Hey, stop being so nice. It was temporary insanity. I’m over him,” she said.
“All of this drama,” I complained, “and not one Happily Ever After. I want my money back.”
“Oh, no,” said Evie. “This has been fabulous. First class entertainment. Jill, I’m so glad you drove me up here.
Tina said, “Doug and I have a Happily Ever After to get back to, featuring a ten-year-old who plays too many video games, and a toddler who throws his sippy cup.”
“And a hubby who uses too much hot sauce and then gets a stomach ache,” Doug reminded her.
“I suppose your free ride disappeared down the toilet just now,” I said regretfully.
Father Fritz said, “I’m flying out from Las Vegas to Chicago later this afternoon. Let’s see if we can get tickets for you, as well. You said your mom has the kids, Tina?�
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“Patty, what about you?” I stopped and looked at her. “What would I have done without you here? And how are you going to get back home?”
“I’ve called in sick today, and I have a scheduled day off tomorrow. That brings us to the weekend. What about that birthday party for Mike’s girlfriend?”
“Oh, no! What time is it? Josh and Leann are going to have a fit!”
“Josh and Leann can just chill,” Evie said.
“Mom, I swear, you’re becoming uber-cool in your old age.”
“I’m not in my old age. I’m in my middle age.”
“Will you help with the party?”
“Of course,” she said, as if anything else would be out of the question.
“It’s your choir night,” Jill reminded her.
“The alto section will be lost without me,” Evie reflected, “but they’ll survive.”
“Then count me in, too,” Jill said. She embraced Patty, Evie and me.
“Group hug!” Patty called out. We were swamped with hugs. Father Fritz gave me a comforting one. Tina and Doug encircled me.
“You know, you’re not so bad.”
“Tina! What a nice thing to—“
“There’s still plenty of room for improvement,” she said, stepping back and looking me up and down.
I hugged her again and laughed.
A note from the author
Thanks so much for reading! If you enjoyed The Devil and Danielle Webster, please help this indie author and kindly leave a review. Recommendations to friends and co-workers are also very gratefully appreciated! Please note that this novel can be borrowed by Kindle Prime members.
Also, if you would like to read more of the escapades of Danielle, Patty, Evie and Jill, feel free to email me at [email protected] and I’ll send you an update when the next book is completed. (Hint: somebody’s going to win the lottery!)
Sincerely, Cynthia Cross
The Devil and Danielle Webster Page 12
