by Celeste Raye
Tears stung Jenny’s eyes. She hoped she did as well, but the conflicting emotions that she felt weren’t just due to her fear that she would go back to find her home planet just as terrible as it had been when she left and her very real wanting to stay there on Revant Two.
She loved Ben. She did. But she was torn because that was something so intense about the things that she felt toward Marik.
Not that Marik returned those feelings. That was obvious. He thought she was a simpleton, probably. In fact, he had said as much that day she had accidentally fallen into the sea, and he had saved her life.
As she cleaned the fish, she found herself wondering if she’d be better off just refusing to go at all. That thought brought so much guilt that she could barely finish the task.
Those feelings of both guilt and wanting to stay, of confusion about her feelings toward Marik, continued. She woke the morning that they were to part with a heavy heart and a lot of misgivings.
Jessica had come to her the night before and given her a tunic and trousers, and Jenny had stared down at the things with real hatred. “I much prefer my dress.”
Jessica, ever practical and no-nonsense, had replied, “I’m sure you do, but it’s not something that you can wear down there. You know this. People will begin to start deciding their own dress soon enough, but for right now you need to wear the tunic and the trousers. For one thing, it’ll protect you from the dust and from being cut by flying shrapnel.”
Jessica had left before Jenny could ask what that meant, but she had a good idea anyway. It was a war down there. She was going into a war zone! She had heard the stories told by all of those on Talons crew, and she knew that the humans who had survived the invasion of the Gorlites were busy fighting each other for whatever scraps they could manage to get into their grasp.
She dressed hurriedly and stepped out of the building. She carried nothing with her because she owned nothing but the small sea shells that she collected and the small and delicate glass jar that Marik had brought to her a few days earlier. She had stared at the jar with real wonder, and he had said to her, “You could put flowers in it.”
He had left before she could ask him why he would give her such a precious and beautiful gift. She had considered, quite seriously, taking it with her but the fact that the glass was so precious and that had been given to her by someone who aroused emotions in her that were traitorous to Ben made her leave it on the shelf. As she stepped out of the hut, she found herself longing to stay there. To not get on that ship. Then her shoulders straightened, and her chin came up.
Those were her people down there. She was terrified, of course, but she would do all she could to help because to do nothing would be inhumane and wrong.
Marik spotted her as she walked towards the place where the ships landed, a special dock that had been built over the water. He said to her, “Are you ready for this?”
She studied him covertly. “I don’t know. I’m very scared but… but I have to go.”
She did. She had to find Ben if nothing else.
She continued, “I really thought about saying no to this but then I remembered something.”
He was walking very close to her, and his body brushed against hers. Another of those sharp little thrills that she had felt the day their fingers had touched while collecting the plants went racing across her skin, and she deliberately took a small step away from him. He didn’t seem to notice. He said, “What did you remember?”
She said, “I remember thinking, when I lived there, how unfair it was that so many people had so much and I had so little. I remembered thinking that if I ever somehow managed to get out of that I would help those who got left behind. I did get out, maybe not the way that I imagined, but I did. And I have to help them now.”
She looked over at him as she spoke the last few words. He stopped walking, and a look of sheer admiration came upon his handsome face. He said, “You are far less frail than people believe. Maybe even more than you believe.”
A short laugh came from her mouth. “I don’t think I’m frail. I just think I’m scared.”
Marik said, as they started walking again, “I’m a little frightened too.”
Her mouth fell open, and her eyes went wide. “You are?”
He chuckled. “Of course I am. I’ve seen way too much bloodshed and war in my lifetime. All I want now is to live in peace. I want nothing more than to tend to the everyday aches and pains and scrapes and accidents, even the everyday deaths that stalk us all. I don’t want to attend to the gruesome injuries that come from war and from weapons. I’m afraid that it will break my heart. I’m afraid that I will lose courage.”
Her hand came up unbidden and went to his arm. The thick ridges of muscle there nearly made her heart stop. Her mouth went dry, and she quickly dropped her hand away from him. “Thank you for saying that. Oddly enough, it makes me feel better.”
His laugh was warm and rich. That laughter called to her and made her feel like laughing too. Before she could stop herself, she was! She sputtered out, “Well, I mean, think of it. If someone as big and terrifying as you can be afraid, then certainly there’s no shame in my admitting that I am afraid as well!”
His body leaned into hers. That heat came flushing down her skin, making her face grow red and hectic. He asked, “You think I am big and terrifying?”
She cast him a sidelong glance. “Well yes.”
Marik said, “But I am the smallest of all my brothers! And I am probably the nicest too!”
She burst into more laughter, surprising herself. “I can admit that. All of your brothers terrify me.”
He said, “When I was little, they used to scare me too.”
They were approaching the ship now, but it was still just the two of them. For some reason, that small talk, that small admission of his, had made him seem far less stern and forbidding. She found herself not only enjoying the conversation, but able to continue her part of it. “Why?”
Marik said, “Because I was not like them. Talon already knew that he wanted to be a ship captain. Renall was so smart and prepared to take on the responsibility of rule after our father left this world, and Jeval, for all his smiles and easy banter, is lethal. Even more lethal than, Talon to be honest.”
“Is he? I had no idea. I always thought Talon was that… That…” She did not know how to put it without offending him, so she clamped her lips shut.
Marik gave her an amused glance. “The bloodthirsty one? Oh, he is, no doubt about it. But only where the Federation and the Gorlites are concerned. His liking for blood stems from a need for revenge. I don’t blame him for that.”
The heat of his body was so close to hers that she could feel it and the warmth comforted her even further. She just didn’t dare lean into it. “But you don’t share his need for revenge.”
Marik said, “No. Not anymore. I did, but I’m a healer, and while I don’t mind killing those parasitic worms, the Gorlites, because they are a menace and they suck the life out of everything that they find, I have a harder time justifying killing anyone and anything else. Even those who are with the Federation.”
She was curious now. “Jeval?”
Marik flinched a little. His jaw went tight. “He has gifts beyond any I have ever seen. He has powers that only come around every hundred generations or so and yet he chooses to squander them. And his thirst for blood is born not just out of a need for revenge but from a liking of war. I think…” He fell silent.
So did she. A few paces ahead were Talon’s crew, and they were readying the ship for takeoff. Jenny's stomach turned, and her chest tightened. She did want to go back. She wanted to find Ben and have her happily ever after with him. It was possible to have that now.
After all, the old systems had fallen away and now they could be together and not have to worry that one or the other of them would starve to death or have to be pawned, that they would have to pawn one or more of whatever children they might have just in order to eat a
nd feed the others.
Oh, but how she would miss this planet!
Chapter 4:
The ship hurtled through space. Marik stood on the deck, his eyes automatically scanning the windows for any almost invisible ripples that would signal a cloaked ship tagging along beside them.
There was nothing but darkness and stars, the occasional planet and falling asteroid. The ship hummed with activity behind him, but he didn’t look at it. Flying had never been his favorite thing to do. Back when they had been children, Talon had once dared him to go up on a small two-person ship that had been little more than a bucket of mechanical parts that had failed long since and tilted guidance systems.
Marik had been so afraid he had nearly had a heart attack. Talon had been in his element. Their father had had to bring his ship up and help guide them down. All the way, Talon had stood in the control deck with his face shining and laughter spilling from his mouth as he told his father over the com–call box that he could absolutely fly that old tub even though all evidence pointed to the contrary.
Jenny spoke from behind him, “It won’t be long now, will it?”
He turned to face her. Her long blonde hair had been put into a neat and tight coil at the base of her neck. The rather harsh hairdo emphasized the sharp planes of her cheekbones and the curve of her bottom lip. The tunic and the trousers, however, disguised the very lush, if petite, body that she possessed and he found himself wishing that she had one of her dresses on.
He said, “Yes. Just a matter of hours now.”
Her fingers twisted together as she stared out the observatory window. “Doesn’t look like anything’s out there.”
Their reflections, ghostly and pale, peered back at them. He said, “We’re traveling so fast that you really don’t have time to register what is there unless it’s very large.”
She said, “I absolutely hate ships.”
He chuckled. “You’re not the only one.”
She leaned forward a little bit, her eyes moving over stars and whatever else was visible out there. “Why did you agree to do this?”
He said, “Someone had to.”
She turned to face him, and his body shifted as well. The ship vibrated beneath their feet, sending her forward just a bit. Her hand came up and out and touched his chest, just slightly, just enough for her to gain her balance and then she hastily moved away. She said, “They told me that you volunteered for this. I know you just said someone had to, but why you? You’re not human, and you have nothing that you love down there. You’ve never even been there. So why?”
He could have argued that one point with her but chose not to. “I told you. I’m a healer. I spent enough of my life killing and destroying things. Maybe this is penance for all that I’ve done wrong. The part of me that is a natural healer commanded that I go. That I heal as best as I can.”
Now her face held curiosity. “Is it true that you can touch heal? That, I mean, can you really bring the dead back to life?”
He gawked at her. Then he burst into laughter. “Someone’s been telling you tall tales!”
She flushed, and her eyes dropped. Immediately remorse set in. He put his hand out and touched hers. Her face jerked back up, and there was a startled expression on it.
He said, “I can touch heal, but I cannot bring back the dead. That is beyond the scope of any healer. I have heard that some healers are able to bring back those who are just on the brink, but to do so… To do so would mean their own deaths, so most choose not to. I can’t say I blame them.”
Her finger went to her forehead and rubbed at the small space directly between her eyebrows. She said, “I had the oddest dream. I dreamed that you and a few others came into my chamber and carried me off to the med–bay last night.”
They had. But what happened there had been so terrible, and it caused her so much anguish that she blocked out the memory. Her mind had not been the only thing to block out that memory; he had used a powerful drug to help with that block and he had also used a technique that further walled the memory of it away as well.
He had not necessarily wanted to do such a thing, but the truth was she was a natural healer, and she didn’t know it. Her brain needed to be reminded and awoken to the fact that she could do things she did not yet know she could do.
He had been teaching her while they were on the ship of course. He had taught her all sorts of skills and things, but there had not been enough time during the travel to truly teach her all that she would need to know once on that planet. And nobody could teach a natural healer how to touch heal. They had to learn that themselves. He had to implant in her body and mind the fact that she could do it and it would be up to her to try.
He said, as casually as possible, “Oh? That sounds like a bad dream.”
Her eyes rested on his face. He wondered if she remembered more than she would’ve liked to and if she was actually asking him if it had happened. She would remember eventually and when she did would she be angry at him for doing it or angry at him for lying to her now.
Probably both.
It was better for her not to remember what happened the night before. If she remembered, she’d be stricken by a pain so huge that it would incapacitate her for quite some time. He needed her up and moving right now. There were a lot of hurt people down there and sometimes a healer had to be incredibly strong in order to heal themselves after the process that he had just carried out upon her.
She was not strong enough yet.
Jessica stepped up between them. She said, “We land soon.”
Marik nodded. Jenny said, “Can I ask you a question?”
Jessica said, “Of course.”
Jenny asked, “How do you plan on keeping us safe? I assume you will since what good will we be if we’re dead?”
Marik could’ve told her the answer to that question long before she asked it. He gave Jessica an imploring stare, hoping that, for once, Jessica would soften just a bit. She was a hard woman, strong and often furious. Her eyes went to Jenny, and he saw something like sympathy on her face.
Jessica said, “We shall, of course, do all we can to protect you.”
Jessica walked away. Jenny and Marik stood there watching it as Old Earth slowly came into view. Jenny said, “I have never seen it from up here. I was already locked into a chamber when the ship took off the last time I was near here. Somehow I thought it would be far prettier. More like home.”
Her face flushed and she looked down at her feet. His heart picked up a few beats per minute. Home? She thought of the planet Revant Two as Home?
He said, “I hear it was very beautiful before the wars started. It could be beautiful again. So much of it is unusable now because of the war, but maybe eventually it will heal.”
They stood there in silence as the ship slowly descended through the atmosphere and the planet became clearer and clearer. Marik said, “I believe these are the docking stations.”
She nodded, but didn’t speak. The ship began to take on a more active atmosphere. Crewmembers rushed around readying the ship for landing. Marik said, “I think that’s our cue to get our things ready for disembarkation.”
She said, “I only brought what I have on.”
He nodded. “I brought medicines, but Talon has stopped at several outlier planets where medications and things are more plentiful so we will have supplies.”
Her brow puckered as she looked over at him. “Do you think we will be able to save quite a few?”
He was hoping so. Deep down in his heart, he really was sick of death and blood, of war and violence. The part of him that had always been a healer cried out in protest against those things now. His quest for blood and revenge had ended long ago even if that quest had not ended for several of his brothers.
He said, “I do. I think we are needed here and that what we will do here will have very real and lasting consequences. My largest hope is that those that we will help may actually be able to learn from us as well in order to become
healers themselves.”
She said, “I… I hope I can find Ben.”
Ben? He asked, “Is that your family?”
Her fingers went to her tightly pulled back hair. “No. My entire family is dead; I told you that. I was engaged to him. Before I was taken away to be a bride. Or at least that’s what they told me I would be as they dragged me out of the Below.”
His heart let off a painful throb. He ignored that. Now was not the time to tell her how he felt about her. “I am sure that if he is still anywhere near the place you saw him last, you will find him again.”
She swallowed hard. Her face wrinkled in thought. “The city has been mostly destroyed from what Jessica said.”
Marik said, “Unfortunately that is usually what happens when there is war.”
She flinched a little. “Well, perhaps I shall see somebody that I know, and they will be able to tell me where he is, and if… And if he still lives.”
Just then the ship docked. A hard lurch ran through the floor, causing her to stumble forward again. That time when her hands came up and met his chest, they did not help her to maintain her balance. She landed against him just as the ship gave another hard jolt and shudder. Her body, soft and warm, lay against his. She was small and perfectly built, and he had the oddest urge to just pick her up and carry her like a prize.
She stepped back hastily, her face going red with blood. “I’m sorry. I lost my balance.”
He said, “It’s all right.”
It wasn’t. His body ached for hers. He wanted to reach back out and hold her again, but the mention of a man, a human man that she had left behind but not by choice, had given him every reason to stay silent.
The whirr of activity continued all around them and, eventually, they found themselves joining in with several dozen others as they made their way toward the exit doors. The bay door slid open, and Marik caught his first glimpse of Old Earth from the ground.
It was awful.
Everything was a mess. Buildings had been shattered and crumbled, and the debris lay all over the streets, which were pockmarked and also broken by weapon fire. A thick cloud of dust, probably from the buildings in the street, hung over everything. The air was thick, and he wasn’t sure if he could breathe it. Several of the crew members began passing out masks that would go over their noses and mouths. He took one gratefully, as did Jenny.
