She gaped, totally taken off guard. Heat flooded her cheeks. “You’re being kind.”
“Not kind...merely truthful,” he said, his expression guarded. “I was a guy, not a eunuch. Being your friend wasn’t always easy.”
Still that undercurrent of something.
“Are you angry with me?” she asked, not at all sure what was going on.
“No. Not now.”
“But once upon a time?”
“Yeah. I guess I thought both you and Kirby could have argued harder to stay.”
She bit her lip. “You don’t know the half of it,” she said softly, regret giving her an inward twinge. “We were typical sullen teenagers when we didn’t get our own way. We yelled and pleaded and sulked. But Mom and Dad insisted we were a family and that we would be leaving the nest soon enough...that we needed to stick together. The thing is, they were right. Kirby and I had the most amazing experiences that year.”
“What about your studies?”
“They homeschooled us. And we worked in the clinic. I wish you could have been there, Conor. The jungle is an incredible place. Dangerous, of course, but so beautiful.”
“I’m glad things worked out.” When he glanced at his watch, she sensed he was impatient.
Sadness filled her chest. At one time this man had known all her secrets. Had been at her side for most of the important moments of her life. “How about a dance?” she said impulsively. “For old times’ sake.”
His body language was one big negative, but he nodded. “If you want to.”
The small dance floor was crowded with other couples. Conor held her close and moved them across the scarred hardwood with ease. Gone was the slightly gawky boy she had known. In his place was a powerful, confident man. Not that the young Conor had ever lacked confidence, but still...this Conor was different.
Her response to him took her by surprise. The sexual awareness might be a weak remnant of the past, but then again, she was a living, breathing woman, and Conor was masculinity personified. She’d come here tonight to plead her brother’s case. Ending up in Conor’s arms was both unsettling and frightening. She didn’t have the right to revel in his embrace.
He smelled like an ad for expensive men’s aftershave, but more on the faint and tantalizing end than the knock-you-down way some guys bathed in it. Conor was both achingly familiar and at the same time almost a stranger. The dichotomy was one she couldn’t explain.
Her sundress left her shoulders bare. Conor had one hand at her waist and with the other, clasped her fingers in his. She wondered if he experienced the tingling that rocked her.
Over the years, she had thought of him, of course. Wondered how he was doing. But she didn’t remember ever feeling this aware of his male appeal, even as a giddy teenage girl with a crush.
When the song ended, they returned to their table. Conor sighed. “It’s great to see you, Ellie. But you said you needed to talk to me. And so far all we’ve done is exchange pleasantries. It’s a beautiful night. Do you want to go for a drive so we can hear ourselves think?”
The noise level in the Silver Dollar had increased exponentially as the hour advanced. Conor’s offer was appealing, but she didn’t have the luxury of wasting time. “That sounds wonderful, but I can’t be out much longer. I have a baby, Conor...a son. I put him to bed before I came, and Kirby is keeping an eye on the baby monitor, but sometimes he wakes up.”
Though Conor seemed shocked by her confession, after several beats of silence, he gave her a genuine smile. “The baby or Kirby?”
“Very funny.” She didn’t know why she was so nervous about saying what she needed to say. Except that she still had a hard time accepting it. “I need you to spend some time with Kirby.”
Her request came out sounding more like a demand, but Conor didn’t flinch. “Of course,” he said calmly. “It will be fun to catch up and rehash old times.”
“That’s not what I meant.” She felt her throat tighten with emotion. Tears stung her eyes, foolish tears, because she’d had plenty of time to come to terms with what had happened. “Kirby needs you,” she said. “He’s had a huge blow, and I think it will help him to talk to you.”
“Why me?” Conor’s terse question echoed suspicion.
She couldn’t blame him. He must wonder why no one else in her life had stepped forward to lend support. Conor been invited to her wedding by Kirby, but he’d sent his regrets along with an impersonal gift card. The fourteen years were an enormous void filled with only the slightest contacts from either side.
She rubbed her temples with forefingers. “You had a phenomenal future ahead of you as a competitive skier. Everyone knew it. You had made the American team as a not-quite sixteen-year-old. Everything you ever wanted was in reach.”
“And then I blew out my knee.” The words were flat.
“Yes. So you lost that dream and had to learn who you were without it.”
“No offense, Ellie, but I’d just as soon not rehash that year.”
“Sorry.” She knew what it had cost him to give up his life’s goal. The doctors had told him he could ski cautiously, but that if he tried to hit the slopes aggressively enough to win championships, he risked losing all mobility in his right leg. Despite the overwhelming disappointment, Conor had sucked it up and gotten on with his life.
“What’s wrong with Kirby? What happened?”
She wiped the tears away, not embarrassed but feeling painfully vulnerable. “He lost a foot. Had it amputated just above the ankle.”
Two
Conor’s stomach clenched. “Jesus, Ellie.” Stunned didn’t come close to describing how he felt. The Kirby Conor had known could do anything. He’d played football, basketball and, though he wasn’t a fanatic like Conor, he’d been a creditable skier. “Tell me...” He swallowed hard, not at all sure he really wanted to know.
Ellie was pale, her eyes haunted. “He finished medical school and his residency eighteen months ago. You would be so proud of him, Conor. He’s brilliant. And as good a doctor as my parents are.”
“That doesn’t surprise me. He always ruined the curve for the rest of us.”
Ellie nodded. “Exactly. I had to study, but Kirby could look at a textbook and remember almost everything he read.”
“His brain isn’t in question. What happened?”
“As a celebration, he wanted to climb Aconcagua. He went up with a group of other men, almost all of them experienced climbers. But they got caught in a freak storm. The ledge they were sheltering on broke and Kirby fell several hundred feet. His lower leg was caught between rocks. It took rescuers almost forty-eight hours to get to him.”
Conor stared at her aghast, sick at the thought that Kirby survived two nights and days on the mountain only to lose part of a limb. “He’s lucky to be alive.”
Ellie nodded, tears glittering on her eyelashes. “He’s had three surgeries and endless hours of therapy. He’s walking on a prosthetic foot. But, Conor...”
He touched her hand on the table. “But what?”
“He thinks he can’t be a good doctor anymore.”
Conor saw how close she was to breaking down. Unbidden, old feelings rushed in. The need to protect Ellie, first and foremost. He’d always wanted to be her savior. Apparently, some things never changed. A crowded bar on a Friday night was not the place for this kind of conversation. “Come on,” he said, pulling her to her feet. “I’ll walk you to your car.”
Outside, he took a deep breath. The night was humid...sticky. But he felt cold inside. Knowing what his friend had suffered made him angry and sad and guilty for all the times he’d grieved for his own lost career. His injury was nothing compared to what Kirby faced.
Ellie’s profile in the illumination from the streetlight on the far side of the parking lot was achingly f
amiliar. Golden-red hair slid across her shoulders. As a teenager he remembered that she always bemoaned her lack of curls. But the silky straight fall of pale auburn was perfect just as it was.
She was curvy, not thin. A very womanly female. He was assaulted with a barrage of emotions that didn’t match up. Part of him wanted to explore the physical pull. But an even stronger part wanted to console her.
“I have to go,” she whispered, the words barely audible.
“Come here, Ellie.” He pulled her into his embrace and held her as she gave in to tears. The sobs were neither soft nor quiet. She cried as if her heart were breaking. And maybe it was. Twins experienced a special bond. Kirby’s injury would have marked her, as well.
Conor stroked his hands down her back, petting her, murmuring words of comfort. Resting his chin on top of her head, he pondered the fact that after all this time, he still experienced something visceral and inescapable when it came to Ellie Porter. Holding her like this felt like coming home. And yet he was the one who had never left.
At last her burst of grief diminished. He released her immediately when she stepped back. Why wasn’t her husband the one comforting her? Where was the guy?
“I’m sorry,” she muttered. “I guess I’ve been holding all that inside, trying to put on a brave face for Kirby.”
“Understandable.”
“Thank you, Conor.”
Was he a beast for noticing the soft curves of her cleavage above the bodice of her sundress? Or the way her waist nipped in, creating the perfect resting place for a man’s hands?
“For what?”
“For listening.”
He shook his head. “I’m glad you came to find me. And of course I’ll spend time with Kirby. But I have more questions, and it’s late. Why don’t you bring the baby with you and come up to the ski lodge tomorrow? I’ll even feed you.”
“I don’t want to intrude.”
“All my guys have gone to Asheville for the weekend to catch an outdoor concert. You won’t see anyone but me.”
She nodded slowly. “I’d like that.”
“Silver Glen has missed the Porters.”
That coaxed a smile from her. “And Conor Kavanagh? What about him?”
He ran his hand down her arms, needing to touch her one last time. “Him, too,” he said gruffly. “Him most of all.”
* * *
Ellie drove the short distance home making sure all her attention was focused on the road. She was painfully glad Conor hadn’t asked about Kevin. It would have been hard to talk about that on top of everything else. Her body trembled in the aftermath of strong emotions, and she felt so very tired. Emory was a good baby and slept well as a rule, but he was a handful. Between caring for him and looking after Kirby and her grandfather, she was running on empty.
Leaning on Conor, even briefly, had felt wonderful. He was the same strong, decent, teasing guy she had known so long ago, but even better. He carried himself with the masculine assurance of a grown man. He had been gentle with her, and kind. But something else had shimmered beneath the surface.
Surely she hadn’t imagined the undercurrent of sexual awareness. On her part, it was entirely understandable. Conor was a gorgeous, appealing man in his prime. But maybe she had imagined the rest. She was exhausted and stretched to the limit and at least fifteen pounds overweight.
She couldn’t even remember the last time she felt sexy and desirable. At least not until tonight. Something about the way Conor looked at her brought back memories of being a teenager and having a crush on her brother’s best friend.
Many times she had envied the bond between Kirby and Conor. Though she and her brother were closer than most siblings, there was no denying the fact that an adolescent boy needed someone of his own sex to hang out with. The two guys had included Ellie in most of their adventures. It wasn’t their fault if she sometimes felt like a third wheel.
And of course, she had never let Kirby see how she felt about Conor. Not even when Conor nearly killed himself and Ellie stood in a hospital room, scared but determined as she gave Conor an ultimatum. It was one of the few secrets she had ever kept from her brother.
That, and her current fear that Kirby was going to give up.
As she pulled into the driveway of her grandfather’s tidy 1950s bungalow, she took a deep breath. She gave herself a minute to stare up at the stars before going inside. Loneliness gripped her, tightening her throat. For better or for worse, she was the glue that held this household together at the moment. The burden lay heavy at times.
Inside, she found Kirby sitting in the dark, kicked back in the recliner, watching a cable news program. She turned on a small table lamp and sat down across from him, yawning.
“Hey, sis,” he said. “Feel better?”
She’d told him she was going for a drive to clear her head.
“Yes, thanks. I appreciate your holding down the fort while I was gone.”
No need to tell him where she had been. Not yet.
Kirby shrugged, his expression guarded. “Even I can do that when our two babies are sleeping.”
“How was Grandpa?”
“Not too bad tonight. He spent an hour telling me stories about Grandma and then took himself off to bed.”
“Good.” An awkward silence fell. No matter how hard she tried to pretend things were normal, they were anything but. She glanced at the clock on the wall. “Can I get you anything before you go to bed? Warm milk? A snack?”
Kirby’s chest rose and fell in a sigh. “No. I’m good.”
But he wasn’t. He’d suffered wretched insomnia since the accident. Chances were, he’d avoid his bedroom again tonight and doze in the recliner until morning.
Feeling helpless and frustrated, she stood and crossed the room. Pressing a kiss to the top of his head, she put a hand on his shoulder. “You’ll call me if you need anything?”
He put his hand over hers. “Go to bed, Ellie. I’m fine.”
After a quick shower, she climbed onto the old-fashioned feather mattress and lay beneath a cool cotton sheet, listening to the sounds of Emory breathing. The baby had been her salvation over the past terrible months. Her little boy was innocent and precious and totally dependent on her for care. She couldn’t afford to have a breakdown or any other dramatic response to the soap opera that was her life.
She had shed her share of tears over Kirby but always in private. It was important to her that he not feel like an object of pity. Which meant she forced herself to walk a fine line between being helpful and smothering him.
Her own tragedy had been forced into the shadows, because caring for Kirby had taken precedence. Seeing Conor again made her dangerously vulnerable. Even though she had sought him out, she would have to be on guard when they were together. She didn’t deserve his care and concern.
As drowsiness beckoned, she allowed herself to remember what it felt like to be close to Conor, first on the dance floor and later as he held her and comforted her. She shivered, though the room was warm. What would her life have been like if she and Conor had never argued so bitterly...if the Porters had never left Silver Glen?
It was a tantalizing question.
But the truth was, she now traversed a difficult road. Grief and fatigue could be dangerous. She should not mistake Conor’s kindness for something more. Her life had not turned out according to plan. Even so, she would not wallow in self-pity. And she would not cling to a man to make it through this rough patch.
She was strong and resilient. She needed to keep her head up and her eyes on the future. The guilt she carried threatened to drag her under, and she would be mortified if Conor ever suspected the truth. His friendship would be a wonderful bonus, but only if the lines were clearly drawn. Perhaps, if he managed to coax Kirby out of the doldrums, the three of them could be t
he trio of friends they once were.
* * *
The following morning she fixed breakfast for the men in her life and then made sandwiches for lunch and put them in the fridge. She didn’t like lying to her brother, so she had scheduled a well-baby checkup for Emory and said that she was going shopping afterward.
The doctor visit was real. Kirby wouldn’t expect her back at any specific time. Fortunately, the pediatrician was on time, and the appointment went off without a hitch.
Emory was in a sunny mood. She wanted him to make a good impression on Conor, which was kind of silly, but as a relatively new mom, she was still so proud of her baby and wanted the whole world to see how special he was.
The trip to the ski resort didn’t take long at all. When she pulled up in front of the large Alpine-style chalet that was command central for the winter ski crowd, Ellie was impressed. She’d spent a lot of time here in her youth, but clearly, major updates had been done over the years. The grounds and exterior were immaculate.
Conor waved her over to the door. Ellie slung a diaper bag and her purse over her shoulder and scooped up the baby. As they stepped through the double oak doors carved with fir trees and mountains, she paused to take in the lobby. Although large in scale, it had a cozy feel because of the quilted wall hangings, thick area rugs and half-a-dozen fireplaces scattered around the perimeter.
Enormous plate-glass windows afforded a view of the ski slopes below. In December it would be breathtaking. Even now, at the height of summer, it was impressive.
Conor urged her toward a mission-style sofa upholstered in crimson and navy stripes. “Have a seat. I’ll round up some drinks and a snack.” He paused to stare at Emory. “He’s a cute kid.”
“His name is Emory.”
“Does he take after his dad?”
Her heart clenched. Was Conor deliberately fishing for information? If so, she wasn’t ready to talk about that subject. Not yet. Maybe not ever. “I think he’s beginning to look like me,” she said lightly, nuzzling her nose in the baby’s strawberry blond curls.
Second Chance with the Billionaire Page 2
