I move back in time with his approach. “Yeah.”
“Yeah? And you believe him?” he demands as he stares hard at me. “Believe I am playing a game with you?”
He places his hands on his hips and looks at me, confused, which only gets under my fucking skin more. I don’t want to believe it. I want to believe him as he stands before me right now, but everything Zaid said has completely shifted my thinking.
“I don’t know what to believe! How else can you explain away all of this, Raj? You have a princess waiting for your hand in marriage. He says you have done this before ... this fucking seductive game you play with women. I’m a quick fix you can walk away from after you are done with me, right?” My own words cut me, making me stop before I sob like a baby in front of him.
My words have caught fire in his eyes. He squints at me like I have speared him with a dagger, with my words. “Listen to me. I couldn’t walk away from you if I tried! You have no idea what you do to me, Ella! And, I am not fucking proposing to Princess Daya, ever!”
I fold my arms over my chest matter-of-factly and grin through the tears coming without my control. Goddamn them! “Well, you should. She is royalty! It is planned, a custom, tradition. I am none of that. I am just a naive little American that got carried away! A fucking outsider!”
He shakes his head. “I don’t want her!”
I move in on him and run my hands up his chest, not realizing I am screwing with my own desires as I try to screw with him. “No? You would take this washed-up little American whore over a pure, royal Muslim woman?”
He growls and snatches my arms up with his hands, gripping me thoroughly. “No! I want the woman I saw from across the room in D.C. The woman I should have followed down the elevator. The woman tending to children in a courtyard, her hair loosened from the fucking veil she is too bold to wear.”
I close my eyes and writhe, set on breaking free from the words he is drawing me in with, but fighting his strong hold is trivial; it has to be with words. “That woman is off limits. A harlot, tramp, a fling for a prince’s last hurrah before he gets hitched.”
Raj takes hold of my face with his hand, keeping me from looking away from him as he narrows his eyes on me. “You are not any of those things and you could never be a fling to me, Ella.”
Feeling my heart being gutted with every moment I am held captive by him, I try to look away, but it only pisses him off, making his hold on me more absolute. “Look at me, Ella.” His rough tone escalates with my resistance, as I refuse to meet his eyes, keeping them downcast, knowing all bets will be off and he will have me captured if I look up at him.
“I can’t.”
Suddenly, he releases me, slides his hands down around the back of my thighs, lifting me up to eye level, then turns us around as he sits on the bed with me straddling his legs. As he wraps his arms around my back and pulls me into him, every inch of him is against every inch of me, seizing every battle I have attempted to push him away.
“Yes you can, and you will look at me when I tell you this.” He cups the back of my neck with one hand as his other keeps me to him over the middle of my back. I am a mere breath away from him as he says, “Eh enta, Ella.”
I try to turn away, pull back, avoid the words that have a hold over me, but he pulls me down into him with the strong hold of his hand on my neck and back, the motion rocking me against him adding risk to the deeper surrender I want to submit to.
“Don’t fucking fight me, Ella.” His guttural and breathless words tell me I am not alone in the wanted surrender, making it harder to fight against what is true and what is false about this man. “I know you and you know me. You can’t deny this.”
I look into his eyes as they search mine, his voice softer now that I am rendered helpless in his embrace. “No, you aren’t Muslim. No, you aren’t fucking royalty, and no, you are not pure. I know all this about you and none of it matters! What matters is what I see in you. Your heart, your soul when I look into your eyes.”
His hold doesn’t loosen as he concentrates on every word he is saying. “You are the woman that penetrated my soul in D.C, with just your presence in a crowded room. The woman that would put her life before the lives of ten little girls. The woman I would protect and defend, never let perish. And the woman that believes in something greater than herself, because she wouldn’t have risked traveling across the world in search of it if she didn’t have extraordinary faith.”
His rough, solid touch, his body flush against mine, my hands trembling above his heart, our breath mingling, his golden embers burning deep into my soul, and his words striking right to the core of me is too much to resist and I can’t hold back much longer.
“I want all of you, Ella.” As he lowers his eyes to my lips he whispers, “I don’t want to fuck you. I want to make love to you.”
My eyes locked on his, I feel the touch of his hands as he slips them under the back of my sweater, skin to skin, making my eyes close as I bend and sway into his touch, pulling me deeper onto him, to him, his erection rubbing against me. “Do you want to know how you make me feel?”
The strap of my bra breaks free as his hands continue up, pulling my sweater over my head. He lets it fall where it may as his hands return to me, resting on my hips. Nakedness has never bothered me in the past, but having been covered almost completely for two months, the eroticism of nudity in front of Raj has me guarded and I raise my arms to cover my bare breasts. Still, my eyes don’t leave him for a second as he watches me.
“Yes, I want to know.”
He takes hold of the collar of his cashmere sweater and pulls it over his head before taking my wrists in his hands and pulling them away to rest on his golden-toned shoulders, exposing me to him completely. His hands move down my back to my ass, then shift me onto his hardness, meeting my center and making it impossible to hide the whimper it produces, escaping through my parted lips. His hand moves fast up my back, pressing me close as his mouth finds the most tender part of my throat and covers it with his lips.
My breath comes faster as he grips my shoulders and rocks his sizable bulge beneath me again. His own moan hums against my skin as he tilts me back and takes my nipple in his mouth, drawing it in as I arch my back and feel the titillating grind of material against flesh dividing us from the full pleasure we seek.
“Ella?”
Raj releases my hard nipple and pulls me into him as I glance over at the tent entrance, the tarp untouched. Shit, it’s Ana! I breathe in, hoping my words come out unsexed. “Yes?”
“Hey, are you okay? You never came back.”
I feel Raj’s hand slide down the front of me, feathering the nipple he had claimed. Oh God, that feels so good.
“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m just tired. Long day.” I know my voice is quaking, but damn it I can’t help it. I watch how he circles one nipple then moves to the one he hasn’t taken. He looks at the entrance, then back at me seductively, a grin playing on his lips as he dips his head to capture my other nipple in his mouth. I hold in the moan that wants to escape, the dampness between my legs quickening as he shifts me to take in as much of me as he can.
“Do you need anything?”
I need him, right fucking now.
As his tongue teases the tip of my hardened bud, his eyes spear me, making me moan. “Mmm, no.”
He grins as he wraps his mouth around my nipple again, proud of how he is teasing me.
I harden my sultry response, hoping Ana doesn’t notice. “No, I will see you in the morning.”
I run my hands through his hair as he places the softest breath against my breasts, his tongue flicking out to tantalize me as he ravishes my nipples one at a time. He works his way up, the kisses he places significant of his path; my chest, the nape of my neck. I glance at the tarp, hoping Ana doesn’t open the damn tent.
The tip of Raj’s finger rests on my bottom lip, bringing my attention back to him.
His finger runs along my chin as his eyes remain focuse
d on mine, his touch running along my chest, over my navel, then lingering at the lining of my panties.
“Okay, sleep well, El.” Ana’s final words couldn’t come soon enough.
“K.” I know my breath is coming too fast to get any more than that out without sounding like I have run a fucking marathon.
Raj’s eyes fall to my lips, then claim them with the fullness of his. The warm maddening roughness of his tongue connecting with mine is fucking perfect. His fingers don’t waste any time as they plunge beneath my panties, slide along my moistened skin, and slip within me, making me gasp and moan into the kiss he has me in.
With one hand holding the nape of my neck and the other moving in and out, his thumb running circles slowly against my clit, he pulls back to watch what he is doing to me. His eyes are sleepily watching me; he has me moving against the rhythm his fingers, the rhythm of the tremors I am cycling through slowly building as my breath catches with every press of his thumb on my sex.
His breath is coming just as quick and ragged as mine, as if he is climbing this peak of intimacy with me. The drumming and strumming of music echoes louder now, and I hope it masks the sound coming from my tent. Raj runs his thumb over just the right spot as he plunges two fingers rather than one now.
“You are so beautiful when you are about to come.” His deep voice dominates me, quickens the pulsing, the building, the rising he is giving me. Unable to keep my eyes open, I close them and let the sensations engulf me, my head falling back as I ride to the tipping point. The graze of his thumb at just the right moment sends every nerve ending straight to my clit and has me gasping and moaning, wrapping my arms around Raj’s neck as the summit of my ride pulses again and again, melting me into this endless ecstasy.
Quickly, Raj rises with me, flipping me onto my back then standing over me as he unbuttons his pants, letting them fall to the ground. As I slowly scan the sinews of his chest, his well-defined abdomen, and impeccable V dipping beneath his boxer briefs, my eyes make their way to meet his. Now that I have gotten a taste of Raj, I want more.
Slowly he leans toward me, clutching my panties at my hips, then sliding them down the length of my legs, his eyes following the trail of skin it leaves behind. Dropping my panties to the ground, he climbs onto the bed, parting my knees with the bulk of his legs as he towers over me. Watching this exotic Adonis stalk toward me, my craving for him grows desperate. He claims my breasts again as he runs the length of his bulging and captive dick against my bare, tender skin, making my sex ache for the length of him to fill me.
I run my hands through his hair as he peppers kisses down my neck. “I can’t get enough of you.”
He pulls on the redness of my breast with the tip of his teeth, then circles it with his tongue, lapping it, teasing it. “I will never get enough of you.”
He continues his journey down farther, kissing then licking his way down past my navel to the tender skin of my groin. “Never will leave your body or mind.”
His mouth dips between my legs and the warm pad of his tongue runs along my already tender clit.
“Ahh.” I can’t contain the agony of the ecstasy he is giving me as he strokes me with the expert rhythm of his tongue. The buildup is quicker, having already been sent over the edge, but he pulls back before I come again. He kneels over me, his heady breath full of desire as he kisses me, deep and hard. I run my hands down the length of his stomach and around to his perfect ass. I dip below his boxers, clutching his flesh, pulling him onto me.
Groaning, he pulls away from our kiss and looks into my eyes as he fumbles to free his hard on. I oblige, tugging them down to free his manhood. “When I claim you, Ella, you will be mine forever.”
The sincerity of his statement takes my breath away as he stares deep into my soul.
With one hand holding him up for support as he hovers over me, he guides himself to the mouth of my sex while we stare into each other’s soul. The heat of his throbbing tip sends a deep ache surging through me. I run my hand against his cheek, studying every inch of his face as he dives deep into me. Our glorifying moan comes in unison as the length of him fills me completely, thoroughly. As he pulls out and fills me again with a deeper thrust, we watch each other, needing to see the effects of our passion. He takes hold of the back of my thigh and lifts it, plunging into me again, hitting the precise spot tempting to send me into a tailspin.
“Oh my God,” I whisper against the incredible feeling of pleasure coursing through me.
The sensation has hit him too. His face becomes focused on the thrust and he dives harder and faster into me, hitting the same magnificent spot again and again. “You’re mine, Ella. You are mine.”
I want to speak, but I’m so taken by the rapture he is sending through me, I can only breathily speak a whisper, “I’m yours, Raj.”
As if his hot thickness could become any larger, he runs the length of me faster, striking hard as he looks into my eyes. I’m lethargic with desire as his thrust aims with complete focus on the true spot to send me over the edge. I moan, feeling the precursor of pleasure teasing me.
“Stay with me, Ella. I want to come together.” The sound of his aching voice, the carnal plea for me to meet him at the apex, exalts the pleasure higher than before as complete rapture tempts me just on the other side of this pleasure spin.
“I’m ready. Come with me.” He slips his hand under my ass and lifts my hips as he hammers thrust after thrust quick and hard, sending me over the edge. “Oh my God, Raj!”
Swiftly, he cups my mouth with his hand before the volume of my cries overshadows the dying drumbeat and singing bedouin men. His deep guttural moan vibrates against my chest as he releases in me, sending me into a chain of wonton spasms I could thrive on for eternity, here in his arms.
Raj stays inside of me, burying kiss after kiss on my dampened skin. Exhaustion of our pursuit has left us breathless, unable to pull apart from our embrace, so we merely look into each other’s eyes. Then again, it could be our desire to remain frozen together in this world where nothing else matters.
The sound of Raj’s steady heart beating in my ear after making love is surreal. It is also a risk. The silence of the desert, the silence between him and me as we lay here, with only the steady, slow beat of his heart to my ear as I lay naked across his body. We have taken a risk. One with more threat to him than me. Yes, he told me nothing else mattered, but the fact is he has duty, his faith, and his status. Before we made love, he told me I was brave for my risk of coming here to Jordan because I believed in something greater than myself, but he only knows half of my story. Would he still think of me as brave if he knew my search for greater purpose was not the only reason for me being here? Would my escaping the D.C. party because of my overbearing and deceptive family, determined to dictate the direction of my life, change his image of me?
Grandma Wallace’s ethereal voice comes into my mind, the lightest whisper in my mind’s eye. Risk. Is it worth the risk to cross the stars and steal the moon for something greater than yourself? Something greater for someone else? For love. I say yes, it is. What is life and love without risk?
The rise and fall of Raj’s chest changes, his heart quickening as he places his mouth on the crest of my head. Slowly he runs his hand up my arm and wraps me tighter in the sleepy hold we had fallen victim to a while ago. “What are you thinking about?”
Too many things. I move to look up at him and settle on the one I hold in my heart. “My grandmother.”
He continues to study me curiously, waiting for me to give him more.
“She would tell me risks were worth crossing the stars and stealing the moon for something greater than yourself.”
His hand runs along my face as he seeks the meaning. “Crossing fate and seize your destiny?”
I nod, unsure of what his mind is thinking beyond his words. Has he done those things just to be with me?
He rests his palm on the nape of my neck, his thumb running along the edge of my jaw, soothi
ng me. He presses his lips together before seeking mine. I close my eyes, savoring the feel of his kiss, soft and tender. He pulls away just far enough to look into my eyes. “Yes, they are worth it.”
“Am I?” I can’t help myself. Yeah, it sounds like I am a needy little bitch, but that is not my reason. I am afraid for him, afraid for the risk he has taken.
His brow furrows as he searches my eyes in confusion. “You are worth every temptation, every threat, Ella. The moment I claimed you, I knew what I was doing. Don’t you think I know the risks of having you?”
I list them in a low mumble as I lower my eyes, resting my chin on his chest. “Your faith, religion, status, your reputation. It is all at stake. A risk because of me.”
He lifts my face back up to his, forcing me to look at him. His voice is as firm as his touch. “I have considered every result, every outcome, and I am willing to cross fate to seize what I want.”
He kisses me again, lingering longer near my lips as he speaks, “What I want, what I need, is you.”
In the quiet night of the Wadi Rum, under the stars and moon, we make love again, keeping our rapturous world isolated to my tent for the second time while the rest of the camp sleeps.
My hand slides against empty sheets as I wake to his missing presence. The sounds of voices and waking guests and the aroma of food being prepared are a distance beyond my tent, the world I wanted to stay in with him. My nakedness, the sublime feeling within me, is the tangible proof we were not a fantasy. He is being smart, discrete, gauging every outcome, that is why he is gone.
I look over at the pillow he had laid upon and run my hand up under it, lifting and pulling it to me, revealing a folded sheet of paper. I take it in my hand, releasing the pillow to open it.
Ella,
You are worth every risk.
Always mine.
R
I fold the note back and hold it to my chest.
Cross the Stars (Crossing Stars #1) Page 24
