Once I think it is clear I look back up at him, the King and Queen are already greeting the Amir and his family. The Queen embraces Daya, the woman she wants as her future daughter, before taking her seat next to the King. My eyes stay with Raj, needing to see his reaction to Daya the moment he takes her in. Needing to see what it looks like for a prince and princess, promised to each other above and beyond fate and the fucking universe. To lay eyes upon one another. Will there be an instant spark? Will their magical fairy tale unfold right here in front of everyone, while our trivial actuality dissolves, becoming nothing more than an indulgence for a prince?
Raj exchanges kisses on either cheek with the Amir, then moves to his wife to do the same. As he comes to Daya, his eyes meet hers for a moment, his smile not catching as I expected in this fairy tale I created in my head. He takes her hand and kisses it gently, her smile remaining constant as he shows her the utmost respect.
The applause and cheer suddenly escalates, urging on the coupling of their Prince Rajaa and Kuwait’s Princess Daya. Even the people of Jordan, Syria believe in this union. As the royal family begins to sit, everyone else follows. I notice Raj pulling out Daya’s chair and try to focus on the food the servers are starting to place on our table. The conversation at the table temporarily takes my mind off of Raj as Tom mentions the King making an announcement tonight.
“Jordan has been waiting for the heir to the throne to be crowned. This would be the ideal venue to do it.”
I can’t stomach much, eating only the Shrak and hummus.
“Is that all you are going to eat?” Ana asks, gesturing to my plate.
“I’m not very hungry.”
I watch the dancers swaying and shimmying to the music, a mindless distraction from the temptation of observing Raj and Daya. Shit, I can’t do it.
I look over at the table and am met with Raj’s golden-hued eyes staring back at me. He bows his head and smiles as he rises from his chair and starts walking toward me.
Holy shit. What is he doing?
Raj comes to stand behind Tom and places his hands on his shoulders. “Thank you all for coming tonight,” Raj says as he looks at everyone, then rests his gaze on me. “I know dressing and acting a certain way is not enjoyable, but for the event it is necessary.”
I consider his words carefully. I think he is telling me he has to act this way with Daya for the event.
“Well, we are excited to be here, Prince Rajaa. Thank you so much,” Tom says, looking up at Raj.
Everyone at the table agrees with thanks and I do the same, seeming to keep his attention. “Please understand if I don’t seem myself this evening. I don’t do well with formal events.”
His humble words are another a decipherable apology, sending a calm through me, shattering the princess and prince, happily ever after scenario I created in my head. For the first time since he has come to our table, I smile and breathe deeply as all of the other volunteers at the table laugh at his candor.
In kind, Raj tells us to enjoy the evening and festivities before returning to his table, and I think I just might survive this evening after all.
I’m able to enjoy some of the stuffed falafel and the chicken skewers now that Raj has given me some insight as to why he was being so congenial with Daya. Having been a debutante, I should have remembered things like acting congenial even though you may hate every girl in the fucking room. I suppose my mental block of those rites of passage into elite young womanhood had expired when I threw in the towel.
The music dies away as the King rises from his chair. Standing in the middle of the dance floor, he receives applause and cheers as he leans on his cane for support, taking the microphone in his other hand. The applause dies quickly as he speaks in both Arabic and English for the benefit of the Americans in the room.
“Welcome to all of you and thank you for attending. I know that the notice was short, but I am thankful so many of you could attend. Tonight is a very special night, not only for all of you being here, celebrating the successes of Makan Lil ‘Amal Center, but to honor those dedicating their time and support to make it be an effective tool in this fight against a crisis in our lands.”
Everyone applauds with this statement, and as it fades away, he begins again, “My son Rajaa, he pushed for this program two years ago.” He looks out at each of us, then down at Raj, who has lowered his head to rub the side of his nose. “Two years, my son, and you never gave up hope.”
Raj nods at his father’s praise of persistence, his eyes still downcast, unwilling to draw attention to himself. I notice Daya look down at him and smile, then at her mother and father, who share the pride of future in-laws. I breathe a cleansing breath and send the thought out of my head as I listen to the King speak.
The King keeps his gaze steady on Raj. “A passion for the people of our country and those we have pulled into our safe embrace. Zaid, the backbone of the Jordanian Armed Forces!”
Everyone applauds again, cheering for Zaid’s heavy hand of protection for his country.
The King raises his hand to Zaid, who has in turn raised his chin to his father with self-regard. “You have defended our country by my side many times over the years, and my years are dwindling even though I may not want them to.”
The silence in the room becomes solemn with his final statement. He shuffles a few steps with the help of his cane as he looks among the people. “I have served this country, loved this country, all of my life, and tonight is the night I announce the one that will love and lead you into the future!”
The applause is deafening as the king stands before us. He raises his hand for us to stop as he continues, smiling down at the Queen, Princess Tamanna, Zaid, and Raj. “My family.”
He returns his gaze to the crowd. “My Jordan. I hereby announce Rajaa bin Ammaar as heir apparent to the throne of our Kingdom, Jordan!”
The entire room erupts with excitement. Rajaa? Zaid is the oldest. I look over at Tom. “I thought Zaid was to be crowned by law.”
Tom is as elated as the rest of the room, already rising to his feet. “Inevitably, it is the King’s choice.”
I rise as well, needing to see Raj’s expression. He is still seated and I can’t angle around the bodies to see his face.
The King speaks over the crowd, “Rajaa. Come.”
I continue to clap as I finally see the top of his head come up from the crowd. His face is as white as a ghost, the shock having quickly settled that he will be King. As he walks up to his father, he looks back at his family, specifically at Zaid, who is applauding with the royal family. While his manners show one thing, I know better than to think he is proud for his brother. He stands stiffly, acknowledging his brother being chosen over him with a strained smile.
The King places his arm on Raj’s shoulder as he speaks to him eye to eye in front of all of us. “As you have grown from a boy into a man, you have shown all the qualities of a true leader. I have no doubt you will transform Jordan and the Middle East!”
Everyone sits as the King holds Rajaa in his sights, while the Amir, his wife, and Daya rise and walk toward them.
I feel my heart quicken not just for the simple fact Raj has just received the highest honor of a prince, being crowned heir to the throne, but that the Amir, his wife, and Princess Daya are joining them on the floor.
As the Amir stands on one side of the King with his family, Queen Layaali rises and comes to stand on the other side of the King as he says, “As King you will bring about a unification in the Middle East, one that has been desired for a very long time.”
The King glances at the Amir and they exchange a smile.
My heart feels like it has been punctured as I listen to the King tell Raj, “You and your Queen, Daya, will transform the Middle East together.”
I want to bolt, save my heart from bleeding out, escape the feeling of it draining as I watch this fucking fairy tale take form before me. The one Raj had made me believe was false all night.
Raj’s
eyes have glazed over, though mine have awakened to this fucking nightmare. I push away from the table just as the applause erupts and the bodies in the room rise to cheer on the alliance of two countries and marriage of two people as unrequited fate slaps me in the fucking face.
I feel an arm intertwine with mine and pull me close. “Ella, what’s wrong?”
Ana.
I lean into her comfort as I let myself melt into the emotion overcoming me. “I have to get some air.”
She searches my face and tells me, “It’s going to be okay, El.”
Through tear-streaked eyes, Ana guides me through the exploding Arabic chants of joy to the doors at the back of the ballroom.
I stare down at the lineup of black SUVs from a second-floor window of the palace. I don’t know where she has taken me, but it appears to be an office, one wall lined with books behind an executive desk fit for a King.
The full moon casts a ring around it, like a celestial barrier protecting its subsistence.
Meant to keep me from stealing it.
I run my hand under my eyes, wiping away tears, but they keep coming.
The sound of glass touching glass has me turning to see Ana pouring golden liquid from a crystal decanter. She is generous with it, and when she comes over to me, I take it from her hands and down half before returning her stare.
“I knew something was going on. That night in the desert...” Ana’s voice remains low as she analyzes the path of Raj and my love affair.
I nod and numbly offer, “It started way before then. A world away.”
“Then you saw him with her, the King announcing their...” She stops herself before she reinvents the development that broke me moments ago. It’s too late though. The pangs of emotion have already settled, and are spilling over. All I need right now is to just be alone.
“Hey, go back to the table. Tom is going to wonder where we are.”
She looks at me cautiously. “Are you sure? I can stay with you.”
I shake my head and close my eyes, wiping more fallen tears. “No, I want to be alone.”
My point is taken as Ana backs away, her arms folded over her chest. “Okay. I’ll tell him you just needed some air, too much commotion.”
I nod. “Thanks.”
As soon as she closes the door, I down the rest of the whisky and walk over to the decanter to drown my sorrow in one more glass before I find Badir and have him take me home.
I hear voices in the hall getting closer, but they are muffled.
All of a sudden, I hear a familiar voice bellow, “Is she in there?”
Raj.
“She doesn’t want to see you.”
All at once, the door is pushed open. Raj barrels in with Ana moving in front of him, trying to keep him from me. Badir comes in behind them, closing the door to keep the commotion within the room. He looks down at the glass I hold in my hand.
“I need to speak with you, alone.” He pushes against Ana’s hands as she keeps him from getting any closer to me. He dodges around her and comes at me, but I move around the desk, setting my drink down on the counter and turn to Badir.
“Please take me home, Badir.”
He is pursuing me around the desk as Ana comes between us again, stopping his advance.
Raj commands over Ana’s head, “No, Badir, you will not!”
Badir stands at the door, not knowing what to do or think of what is happening.
I come around the front of the desk and back up into the middle of the room, Ana keeping the space between Raj and me as his pursuit for me continues.
“Ella, please, you have to believe me. I didn’t know he was going to do this!”
I find some sick sense of humor through my tears as I cry through the words. “What? That you would be King or that he would propose for you to Princess Daya, the woman you are supposed to be with?”
He stops pursuing me, hit with the bluntness of my strike.
“Oh, I’m sorry, Your Highness, congratulations are in order.” I try to gain control of my shaking voice as I hold in my sorrow and offer my salutes. “Congratulations on being crowned heir and congratu-fucking-lations on your nuptials to Princess Daya!”
He looks between Ana and Badir, letting me chastise him with no defense. I wipe my eyes, pissed at the tears that are falling. “She is beautiful, Raj,” I shake my head and stare at him. “Lovely and pure, kind and compassionate. She is everything you should have.”
Raj closes his eyes, obviously pained by what I have said. “Ella, stop.”
“She will make a wonderful wife to you and mother to your children.”
My words have tempered him as he starts toward me, but Ana holds him back with every ounce of strength in her small frame. “Excuse me, Your Highness, but don’t fuck with my girl!”
As she stands her ground, I realize what I have to do. End this before it becomes the death of him.
“Okay, just stop!” I yell.
Raj stops pushing and Ana stares at me over her shoulder, her hands still on guard.
I glance between Ana and Badir. “Please leave us alone.”
Ana’s voice is full of worry with my request. “El, we can leave right now.”
I shake my head, knowing that it would do nothing to leave things as they are.
As Ana and Badir walk toward the door, leaving the open space between Raj and me, Ana says, “I will be right outside this door.”
I nod and lower my eyes. “Thanks.”
He keeps his distance and I’m thankful for that, because hardening my heart to him is difficult enough without him being close. “It was always going to turn out this way, Raj. We just fucking lied to ourselves. The whole time, we created this world that would eventually destroy itself, just like it is doing right now.”
His silence is the death of me as I glance at him. He tilts his head up to the ceiling and his mouth slackens, before he settles his dampened golden eyes back on me. “I never lied to myself about you and I never will! I am ready to risk everything, because I fucking love you!” Every word is saturated with unequivocal emotion and the quiver in his voice is gutting me.
I shake my head. “You can’t, Raj.”
He closes the space between us, his body pushing against mine, walking me backward as I butt up against the desk. “It’s too late for that. My life is nothing without you, don’t you see that yet?”
His breath mixing with mine is intoxicating, but I fight against my desire. “I see you throwing your life away for something that is just a fucking fling.”
I try to move around him, but he wraps his arms around my waist, lifting me on to the desk, running the veil I have let fall to my shoulders through his hands as he pulls it from me. He grips the nape of my neck, holding me to him as he brings his lips to mine. I try to resist, pull away from him, breaking our kiss, but his hold is too strong as he speaks breathlessly to me.
“No, I know you don’t believe that.”
As he runs the length of my neck with his lips, his hands work quickly, raising my dress around my thighs and sliding me to the edge of the desk to feel his hardness. “I know you believe in chance meetings. A stare from across the room.” He kisses me, wrapping his tongue around mine before pulling back to look into my eyes, his fingers finding their way between my thighs. “One soul meeting another. It is so simple, but it means everything.”
He releases my neck but I’m the one holding onto him now, my arms wrapped around his shoulders as he maneuvers past my panties and dives deep into me, my gasp full of need as he runs his thumb against my sex. I feel my eyes fall sleepy from his touch, the sensation of his fingers working in and out of me, him stroking my rock-hard nub.
Clutching him to me, I keep my eyes on him for as long as I can as he continues to speak to me, his voice quickening with our growing passion, taking me deep into the place he wants me to fall. “I love you so fucking much, Ella.”
All of a sudden he pulls his fingers from me, starving me of his touch as he u
nfastens his pants, liberating his robust stem. Nimbly, he wraps my legs around his hips, pulls me to him, resting his tip against my tender opening, letting me feel the throbbing warmth of his desire as his slacken stare holds my surrendered gaze.
“I will cross the stars, defy everything that tries to keep me from you. Do you understand me?”
I nod, but that isn’t good enough for him. His throaty command and the slightest push against my sex releases the words from my lips. “Tell me you understand.”
He pushes his tip into me teasingly, the sensual connection only the beginning as I moan in ecstasy from the quick pulse just the head of him sends coursing through me. Our connection is a deadlock as I look into his soul and tell him, “I understand.”
My sensual call gives him command as he grasps my ass and slides deep inside of me. “It is you, Ella. It has always just been you. It will never be anyone else for as long as I live.” As he speaks to me he slides out slowly, only to slam into me with sweet vengeance. “Tell me that I’m not alone in this world, Ella. Tell me that the one I know, ‘Eh enta, the one I love, will return it and defy everything that tries to keep us apart.”
As he slides from me, then plunges deeper still, I gasp, the coiling tension he is sending to my center relinquishing every ounce of truth held captive in my body, heart, and soul. “I love you, Raj.”
Holding my thighs, he drives deep again, and again, and again, my arms wrapped around his neck clutching him to me, sending the sweet gathering pulses higher and higher. “Oh God, I love you, Raj. I love you,” I breathe into his ear as we both unravel in each other’s arms, holding on as the rapturous swell ripples in me, pulling me out into the deep with my prince.
Cross the Stars (Crossing Stars #1) Page 29
