Though Zeke hadn’t approved of the seven men’s decisions to mix with the English and become involved with their fights, he certainly wished John Paul well. “Perhaps. If they heard good news, that would be wonderful indeed.”
“When Lloyd Mast’s name appeared on the list of deceased, I thought the lot of us were going to dissolve into a fit of tears,” Ana said.
“The men should have never volunteered to serve in the first place. Though it’s true we don’t believe in slavery, and we want to help out our brothers in the North, we could have helped in other ways. It’s not the Amish way to ever adopt violence.”
“What’s done is done,” Noah said, clasping Zeke on the shoulder. “The men left three years ago of their own accord. You need to give up your anger about their reasons, whether they were righteous or not.”
Zeke tucked his head. Noah was right. And once more, it wouldn’t be doing Sarah any favors for him to be talking about how he felt about Daniel going off to war in the first place.
As they walked closer and heard even more happy chatter, Ana shook her head. “I bet it’s not anything to do with the war at all. Perhaps Esther or Martha had their bopplis. They were due, you know.”
Curiosity piqued, Zeke was happy to be sidetracked by any good news. He would welcome anything to take his mind off his nerves. Interested to be a part of it all, he led the way into the barn, only to stop abruptly the moment his eyes adjusted to the dimness.
Surely what he was seeing couldn’t be right?
Ana huffed behind him as she pressed her palms around his shoulders. “Honestly, Zeke. Do ya have to always stop two steps in front of me?”
Without a word, he stepped to the side. Hardly aware of anything besides the buzzing in his ears. And the sight directly in front of him.
Sarah Ropp was standing next to a terribly scarred man. She looked anxious and worried, but resolute, too. And, to his consternation, happy.
His mouth going dry, Zeke stared. A thousand scenarios floated through his mind, but none made any sense.
Surely this stranger couldn’t mean anything to her?
“Whatever could be going on?” Ana whispered.
“I have no earthly idea. And who could be that man who is keeping Sarah company?”
“I couldn’t begin to guess,” she murmured. “But he is Plain like us. Perhaps he is a relative or friend from Lancaster?”
The bishop walked over to him, Ana, and Noah. “Did you hear the news?” he asked, his voice lively.
“I’m sorry, but we have only just arrived, Bishop Thomas,” Ana said politely. “What news do you have?”
“The best news of all,” the bishop said with a bright smile. “Our son Daniel has returned.”
A buzzing formed in Zeke’s ears. “I’m sorry? What did you say?”
The bishop slapped him on the back. “I know, young man. It’s hard to fathom, but a true testament to the power and glory of the Lord. Our son Daniel Ropp has returned to our community. Glory to our Lord!”
While Noah whistled low and Ana stood stock-still, Zeke attempted to make his mouth form words. “That . . . that is Daniel?” he murmured. “Are you sure?”
Bishop Thomas’s brows snapped together. “Why would you ask such a thing?”
“It’s just that it sure don’t look like him.”
The bishop frowned at him. “Of course it doesn’t, Ezekiel. The poor man was burned something terrible. He was hurt in Pennsylvania, and was so badly injured he didn’t even know who he was for a time.” Sanctimoniously, he added, “It’s only by the Lord’s greatest blessings that he is here at all.” Waving a hand through the air, he said, “Aren’t you sometimes awed by our Lord’s miracles? I know it is not for us to say, but it is truly evident that the good Lord has a plan for our Daniel.”
Was that what it all meant? His mind was a whirl of confusion. Doing his best to control the tremor in his voice, Zeke murmured, “Wh-when did he return?”
“Two nights ago. Sarah said he showed up in the barn, a bit out of sorts.” He chuckled. “Sarah shared that she was so surprised, she fainted right away.” He slapped a hand against his thigh. “Only our timid Sarah would admit such a thing.”
And only Bishop Thomas would share such a thing with such glee, Zeke reflected darkly, unable to stop staring at the couple. “Jah. I’m sure seeing Daniel returned from the dead was quite a shock.”
Now, unable to stop staring at Sarah, Zeke asked, “Is she all right?”
Ana grasped his arm. “Watch yourself, Zeke.”
But the bishop ignored Zeke’s strangled expression. “Of course she is all right. Why wouldn’t Sarah be anything but wonderful-gut? Her husband is back!” The bishop lowered his voice. “I’m a bit ashamed that just a few weeks ago I rode out to her haus and even encouraged her to think about getting married again.”
“There would be no shame in that. Of course we never imagined that the reports were false and Daniel was alive in truth,” Ana pointed out.
Bishop Thomas nodded. “Of course I did not. Otherwise I would have counseled her differently.” He sighed. “I was only on the Lord’s errand, you know.”
“The Lord’s errand?”
“Indeed. He wants us all married, and especially eligible women of Sarah’s age.” Lowering his voice, the bishop leaned close. “I had quite a talk with her, if you want to know the truth. She said she wasn’t interested in remarrying, and to my shame, I ignored her wishes.”
“I’m sure you only meant the best for her.”
“Indeed.” He chuckled. “If you can believe it, I even talked about you, Zeke. I was so determined to find her a new mate.”
As a matter of fact, he could imagine that. Very much so. He cleared his throat, preparing to say something, though what, he didn’t know.
But the bishop cut off any words with a gruff laugh. “Luckily, the Lord’s plan showed us the way in the end. Sarah stayed true. And now she has her just reward. Her husband has returned. Now things can go back to the way they were. It’s nothing short of a miracle!”
Pain and hurting coursed through Zeke, as well as the sense that he seemed to be the only one—besides Sarah—who had been aware of just how badly she’d been treated by Daniel. And because of that, he knew that it wasn’t a miracle. It wasn’t anything to celebrate.
Instead, it was the worst news imaginable.
Ana gripped his arm, hard. “Zeke, get ahold of yourself!” she hissed in his ear. “You are glaring at Sarah and Daniel. Someone is bound to notice.”
He complied, but on his own time, and only after looking his fill. As if he’d sensed the gaze, Daniel lifted his head and searched the crowd. At first, he looked shocked by receiving Zeke’s hard stare. His brown eyes were clear and curiously devoid of the usual pride that helped characterize the man. But then, little by little, he returned the glare.
And slowly raised a brow.
It was a challenge, and to Zeke’s way of thinking, he deserved every bit of it. Yet again he had been coveting another man’s wife.
Zeke turned away, shaken and ashamed. What he felt was terribly wrong. Not good.
But then, a tiny inkling of something new spurred him to look back again. Something about Daniel was different now. Whether it was the scars, the shock of seeing him again, or the fact that three years had passed, Zeke wasn’t sure.
All he knew was that this change was just as hard to accept as the man’s return. And the fact that once again he was going to have to resign himself to the awful truth. Sarah Ropp was still not his and she might not ever be.
THE MOMENT THE crowd of well-wishers thinned out a bit, John pulled Sarah over to the side. “Who is that man?” he whispered as soon as he was certain that they wouldn’t be overheard.
Sarah turned. “Which man?”
“The man standing over by the thicket of trees. He’s standing with the woman with the fair hair.”
After scanning the area, Sarah smiled softly. “Daniel, surely you remember Z
eke Graber. We’ve known him all our lives. Like younger boys always do, he was always trailing after you when we were all younger.”
“Oh. Now it is coming back. When I left he hadn’t quite filled out yet. And I think he’s grown several inches,” he added, hoping it made sense.
Sarah relaxed. “Oh, of course. I sometimes forget how people do change.”
“Except for you, of course.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“Only that you are still as pretty as ever,” he blurted, unable to resist the temptation of coaxing a smile from her.
She blushed brightly, but kept her attention on Zeke. “In case you forgot their names, Zeke is standing with his sister Ana.” She pointed to a solid-looking fellow talking with the bishop. “And that man there is Noah, Ana’s husband.”
“Are they close friends of yours?”
“Fairly close. Well, Zeke is, at least.”
Her ready answer gave him pause, even though John knew he had no true reason to feel any jealousy or possessiveness. “What do you mean by close?”
She looked at him curiously. “Well, I mean we used to be close friends. And he has been good to me. A real good friend when you were gone.”
“How so?”
“Well, some in our community weren’t happy that you had joined the infantry, you know. Because of that, sometimes they ignored me. He stood up to them.”
“So he’s a good man.”
“Jah. A mighty gut man. And, well, I’ve known him a long time, since we were mere kinner. Why?”
John debated with himself about how much he should say. The man was obviously unhappy about his arrival, but John wasn’t sure about how much he wanted to give away. He couldn’t remember Daniel ever mentioning anyone called Zeke. But that didn’t mean that he hadn’t been an important part of Sarah’s life since Daniel had departed.
It certainly wasn’t worth questioning her about it. “No reason,” he said. “It is only that he was looking at me like I’d done something wrong. Like I said, my memory is full of holes.”
One side of her lips rose. “Don’t worry, Daniel. It will all come back. You just need to give yourself time.”
Still watching Zeke sending him grim looks, John said, “Now that I’m back, I hope he realizes that he won’t need to look out for you as much.”
She looked puzzled by his display of jealousy. “Daniel, I promise, I never betrayed you. We were close, but never in a romantic sense, if that is what you are concerned about. We were merely friends. Would you care to walk over and visit with him?”
“Nee.” He wasn’t eager to be around anyone who might be suspicious about his identity. It was better to remain aloof. When her eyebrows rose, he gentled his tone. “I mean, I am sure that there will be plenty of time to get to know him.”
“You mean reacquaint yourself with him,” she corrected.
“Yes. That is exactly what I meant.” Forcing a lighter expression, he said, “But that doesn’t mean we should continue to stand here by our lonesome. I am anxious to renew our friendships. Come, Sarah, stay by my side, and we’ll have some lunch.”
“You know as well as I do that we cannot stand together right now. Perhaps you’d rather go visit with the other men by yourself?”
“Not yet.” That was the last thing he wanted. He didn’t trust himself to navigate the conversations without Sarah’s help. But more importantly, he didn’t want to leave her side. For too long, it seemed that Sarah had always been left to her own devices. Forgotten.
He definitely didn’t want her to ever feel like she was forgotten again. At least, not for the short while that he was there. Once he found Daniel’s money jar he was going to do the only thing that was right—leave her. Having her believe that he was her husband, risen from the dead, any longer than completely necessary seemed unreasonably cruel.
Sarah blinked. “Daniel, are you sure?”
Unwilling to let on just how nervous he was, he decided to err on the side of romance. “Of course I am sure. I don’t want to leave you.”
Her cheeks flushed. “I don’t know how to react when you say such things.”
“You don’t need to know. I just want you to be yourself.”
Because she looked even more flustered, he leaned closer. Closer than was seemly in public. But he was too desperate to keep her by his side. And too intent on making her realize that she was important. Worthy.
Beautiful.
“I know it ain’t seemly, but be kind to a man just home from war, Sarah. Don’t leave my side just yet.”
She blinked. “You must know I could never refuse a request like that.”
“I had hoped you could not,” he murmured with a smile. “I dared to hope.”
“In that case, I will stay next to you all afternoon, Daniel,” she whispered. “But do not blame me if we cause talk.”
“I look forward to the commotion our relationship will bring.”
Five
Excuses and Lies
A FULL WEEK had passed since they’d walked proudly through their church community, practically daring one and all to question their behavior.
It had been a difficult moment, made more so by the fact that Sarah was still secretly questioning things about her husband. It was so difficult to mesh the memories of her husband with the man who had returned from war.
She’d just mended the collar on one of Daniel’s shirts when she noticed that the seams seemed a little bit worn and pulled. As if his shoulders had broadened since he’d left for his service in the infantry.
As she stared at the seams in confusion, the doubts resurfaced. It wasn’t that she didn’t believe this man was her husband, she did.
But all too often things didn’t match up in her head. And while she’d never thought of herself as a particularly smart woman, she truly didn’t understand how he’d come to be a different man in so many ways.
Frustrated with herself, she resolutely pushed her worries away. Obviously, she was making mountains out of molehills! Daniel had only been twenty-five years old when he’d left to join his infantry unit in Pennsylvania. Of course, his body would have changed in the three years since she’d seen him last, especially if he’d been in the infantry.
Besides, more than one woman of her acquaintance had revealed that her husband had grown another inch or two in his twenties.
Though it didn’t make sense, most likely that was what had happened with Daniel.
But no matter, she was his wife, and that meant she needed to take care of him. Which meant, of course, that she must go measure him and make him a new and better-fitting shirt.
Since he’d told her he was going to be stacking much of the wood he had split the evening before, she called out to him from her place at their table. If he was anywhere in the vicinity, he would hear her without a problem. “Daniel?” Sarah called out. Waited a moment. When she heard nothing, she tried again. “Daniel, could ya come here for a moment, please? I’ve got a question for ya.”
She heard footsteps, but no answer.
A little peeved, a little concerned, she walked to the door and peeked out. “Daniel, can ya hear me?”
“I heard you, and I will be there directly. But I need a moment.” His voice sounded vaguely put out. Like she was interrupting an important chore.
Her first impulse was to set the shirt down and wait patiently. But as the seconds passed, she reconsidered. Surely he wouldn’t mind a brief interruption? All she needed was a couple of minutes of his time so she could continue to sew while the light was good.
Decision made, Sarah walked around the corner of the house. “Daniel, I’m only trying to get your—” The last word caught on her tongue.
Because she now understood why he hadn’t been answering her right away. It seemed he had been washing up.
Her feet froze. So did her eyes and mouth as she stared at her husband.
He’d been in the process of dunking his head into an old barrel of rainwater. When s
he startled him, he’d stood up with a start. The motion swung his chin length hair back from his face, sending streams of water rolling down his back in long trickles.
Those trickles meandered down his neck, past his bare shoulders, at last sliding down his naked torso.
Sarah blinked. She wasn’t sure if she’d ever seen Daniel stripped to the waist before. He’d only come to her bed in the dark of the night, and even then she couldn’t recall if he’d ever been completely unclothed.
But Daniel now, in the light of the day, took her breath away. He was more muscular than she’d realized; fine lines of muscles rippled along the lengths of his right arm and across his shoulder. What skin wasn’t terribly pocked and scarred, that was.
Layers upon layers of mismatched, rough skin coated much of the left side of his body. Where the smooth parts of his skin were tanned and toned, the burned sections looked pieced together, patched almost. Angry and red. Mottled and uneven.
He looked to be in pain. Before she could stop herself, she gasped and strode forward, her hand out. “Oh, Daniel!” she cried out.
The shirt that he’d been holding in front of him floated down to rest on the top of the barrel as he backed up. “Turn around and go back inside.”
For the first time since she’d made her vows to him, she refused. “Nee. I want to see you.” When his eyes flared, she stepped forward, aching to make this all right. “I mean, I want to see all of your scars.” Realizing that she was making a muddle of her good intentions, she blurted, “I mean, Daniel, pray, are you hurting?”
“No.” He stood stoically, but his expression was fierce. And he was staring at her raised hand like it was a weapon aiming to cause him harm.
Slowly, she lowered her hand. But she couldn’t avert her gaze. Once more, she felt it was important to keep looking at him. To let him see that she was worried, not repulsed by him. “I knew your body was scarred, but I never guessed your wounds were so encompassing.”
Redemption Page 4
