by Natalie Ann
“Of course there is. Hair of the dog is the best cure for a hangover. In all those years of college, no one taught you that?”
Rene shook her head. The things her grandmother said or figured out. “Who says I’m hungover?”
“Aside from looking like crap, you made enough noise last night coming into the house.”
Those stupid heels she wore. “Sorry, I didn’t want to turn the lights on and I tripped on the stairs.”
“You also went into the wrong room again.”
Great, now her grandmother was monitoring her every move. No use pretending at this point. “I drank more than I thought I would. I’ve never been hungover before, either.”
“Well, good for you then. It’s about time.”
“If you say so,” Rene said, putting the orange juice down and digging into the oatmeal her grandmother placed in front of her. “There isn’t vodka in this, is there?”
“Really, Rene,” her grandmother said, smirking. “I know you’re too smart to drive in that condition, so who brought your vehicle home?”
“A friend,” she said quickly between bites.
“You don’t have a lot of friends here. Since you didn’t say Amber, and I heard a deep voice, I’m guessing it was Cole?”
Her grandmother was only adding to her humiliation right now. “Did you look out your window?”
Please dear God, no.
“Of course not, dear.”
That was something, at least. So her grandmother didn’t see Cole lying on top of her in the driveway, or him carrying her to the front door. Urgh, she wanted to go back to bed and pull the covers over her head right now.
“He’s a good boy. Always looking out for others,” her grandmother said with a hint of admiration in her voice.
“Yep, that’s Cole. Saving me once again. Just another tick on the list that has been growing since I was a kid. I should get him some type of award or medal, don’t you think?”
“Don’t be so sarcastic. It doesn’t suit you.”
Rene lifted her head and eyed her grandmother’s grin. “I’m grouchy. I’m tired, my head hurts, and my butt hurts.”
“Your butt? Do I want to know why your butt hurts?”
Rene felt her face heat up. “I slipped on ice in the driveway,” she said quickly and shoveled more oatmeal in her mouth.
“You need to be careful walking around in heels. Not that you didn’t look lovely last night…and I’m sure Cole thought so, too.” Rene glanced up fast and narrowed her eyes, but her grandmother continued on unscathed. “But if you don’t learn to balance on the ice, you might be better off wearing something else on your feet.”
She nodded her head since there wasn’t much more she could say. Once a klutz always a klutz.
***
“Hey, pipsqueak,” Nick said to her when he opened his front door a few hours later. He pulled her forward, wrapped one arm around her shoulders, and kissed her on the forehead.
In the past she’d welcomed that greeting from him, but now it made her feel like a child, rather than his sister who was only four years his junior.
“I’m not bothering you, am I?”
“Not at all. I’m just watching basketball. Come in the back room. The fireplace is lit and it’s nice and cozy.”
“Where’s Mallory?”
She didn’t want to insult Nick, but Mallory was the one she really wanted to talk to. She needed someone closer to her own age, and not a hovering older brother. Someone to give her a bit of advice.
“Killing someone right now. I try not to bother her when she starts grunting at me. I never know when she might decide to murder in real life.”
Nick’s wife Mallory was a mystery author. “No worries, I can visit with you.”
“What’s on your mind?” he asked, settling back in his chair. Picking up the remote, he lowered the volume on the television.
“Not much. I can’t come and visit my brother? Maybe I just missed you.”
“I’m sure you did, but you’ve seen a lot of me in the last two weeks. More than you have in the last two years, so I’m thinking something else is going on.”
She’d always been easy to read. Pretty much an open book. She might be quiet, but she never had any hidden agendas. Some would say she couldn’t pull off devious if she tried…which she never had.
“How was it living with Grandma? How did you manage it?” she asked.
Nick laughed. “Did she kick you out and tell you to go take a walk and clear your head?”
She should have figured he’d know what was going on. “Yeah, but I drove over instead. It’s not like I’ve got too many people to visit and it’s too cold to walk.”
“You’d fall a dozen times on the way, too.”
“Thanks a lot,” she said, grumbling.
“Am I wrong?”
“No. That’s the sad part,” she said, remembering her sore behind from last night.
“So why did she think you needed to clear your head?”
“I had a little to drink last night and a wee bit of a headache this morning. I’m better now. A shower and some aspirin took care of it.”
“Along with Grandma spiking a drink without your knowledge.”
“Yep. She’s a sly one. Why don’t I remember her being so cunning and knowledgeable before?”
“Because you always had your face in a book. You’ve never paid much attention to the world going on around you before. Are you ready to enter the world of adulthood with the rest of us now?”
She stared at him hard. “I’m twenty-nine. I’ve been an adult for a long time, Nick.”
“In age, but not wisdom. You’re smart, Rene. Smarter than most of us, but it’s book smart, and you’re tender, shy, and sheltered.”
There was no denying any of that, so she wasn’t going to try. “That doesn’t mean I’m a kid. I’m trying not to get insulted here.”
“I’m not trying to insult you but rather tell you the truth. What the people closest to you know and see. Everyone is just looking out for you.”
Again, nothing she hadn’t heard before. Just conjuring images of Cole watching her last night. Protecting her even from something bad. Not just the guy hitting on her, but driving her home, then carrying her to the door.
“I don’t need it, though,” she argued, more for herself than him.
“We all need someone to watch out for us now and again. It seems you’re opening your eyes to your surroundings now. Listen to Grandma. She’ll be better for you than you could ever imagine.”
“Is that why everyone wants me to stay with her and not get my own place?”
“You’re smart. What do you think?”
It was an answer and yet no answer at all.
Mate
Cole lifted the weights up, held them there, and lowered them to his chest again. One more time, held it until his arms shook, and then placed it in the bar over his head.
He’d barely gotten a wink of sleep last night, tossing and turning and replaying the whole night in his head.
Something possessed him to agree to drinks last night. He didn’t often go to a bar on a Friday night, but there was a pull deep inside his soul telling him to do it. Not that he’d ever admit that to anyone. He never did. Only his twin, Celeste, knew about those feelings and urges. Hidden experiences. Even then, he didn’t admit them often to her. Hardly ever, unless he was coerced.
He was edgy when he walked in and looked around last night, then more so when he realized Rene was the woman who’d caught his eye at the bar. He never figured she could look like that. Like such a beautiful woman.
Sure she was on the tiny side, and still looked younger than she was—which he knew was a few years behind him. But there was a mature quality to her last night he’d never seen.
That is, until he realized she’d had too much to drink. Well, then it was kind of funny, in a torturous type of way. Was he attracted to her? Hell yeah! Did he want to pursue anything? Unequivocally no!
She wasn’t the type of person that dated casually, he knew that. That was all he was interested in. All he’d convinced himself he was worthy of.
Knowing how he felt about his future, the life he’d led and planned for himself, the last thing he should have done was flirt with Rene last night. Besides, he’d never be good enough for someone like her. She’d want more than he could ever offer.
Yet, the words were out of his mouth before he could stop them when he commented on how nice she fit in his arms. Thankfully, she was either too naive or too buzzed to comprehend it fully.
He never would have slipped and said it at all if he hadn’t fallen on top of her. Hadn’t felt the heat in his body, traveling right down to his groin as they lay on the cold icy pavement.
Her eyes were slanted open, her breath was panting out slightly, the flush on her face…all of it was an aphrodisiac for someone who hadn’t felt female companionship in too long. He needed to get out more. He needed to find someone with whom he could get this pent-up energy out of his system for the short term.
He’d given up finding that one person to live the rest of his life with. That fantasy didn’t exist. He wouldn’t put any woman through what his mother went through. Or what he and Celeste did, growing up with his parents.
The nights his mother wondered if her husband would come home. If he’d be hurt when he did. The long hours and mandatory overtime his father had. Listening to the scanners for all the calls. That was no life for a wife and kids…he knew that firsthand, growing up in a household like that.
It wasn’t as if his mother ever made a secret of how she felt about it all, either.
He’d been forced to grow up long before he should have. Not just because his sister had cancer, not once, not twice, but three times in her life. Not because they were both born premature and too small to go home right away. Not even when he was the bone marrow donor for Celeste.
No, he had to grow up because his father put that on his shoulders. “I need you to step up and be the man of the house while I’m gone,” Tom McGuire would say often.
“I am, don’t worry,” Cole replied, like he always did.
He was firing a gun and sleeping with one ear to the door long before any teen should have to. Serve and protect what is yours, his father had drilled into him. So he did. He protected his mother and his sister, then his country. Now he was doing it all at the same time.
Only Celeste didn’t need him as much now. She had Caleb. Should he feel relief over that lessened responsibility? If he was supposed to, he didn’t.
Going into the Air Force and leaving his life behind—trying to find his way and be his own man—hadn’t helped or changed a thing.
Besides, there was still his mother to watch out for, too. She had no one but him now. He might not be the man of the house physically, but he still was for the family.
Ginger McGuire had never forgiven her husband for dying. Cole knew, he’d witnessed enough of it. His mother was devastated—they all were—but Ginger was carrying a major grudge over her husband’s death. As if he’d left her on purpose. So it was up to Cole to make sure she was taken care of as best he could.
He’d never put a woman in the same position his mother was in. He’d never be able to live with himself if he thought he’d left a grieving grudge-holding wife behind.
He was ready to grab the weights and start pumping harder and faster when he heard footsteps coming down the hall above his head. Quiet steps, but he knew who it was. He always knew when she was near. He felt it as much as he felt his own heartbeat.
“Are you down here, Cole?”
“Lifting weights,” he yelled back to Celeste.
She floated down the last two steps and stopped to stare at him. She didn’t often see him when he worked out. She wrinkled her nose. “I hope you’re going to shower soon. You kind of reek.”
“It’s not me, it’s the room.”
“If you say so. I can come back and clean it for you? Or I can send my cleaning lady here as a gift. Maybe I’ll do that anyway. The bachelor living might suit you, but it’s not great for those around you.”
He smirked, then stood up and grabbed his shirt off the back of the bench. “Don’t visit and you won’t have to worry about it.”
“I wouldn’t have come today if I didn’t feel like you needed me.”
“More mumbo jumbo,” he said, sounding grouchy to his own ears.
“Like always, it’s only mumbo jumbo when I say those things, but not when you feel them. Why won’t you ever admit it?”
“Do I need to with you?” he asked. That was the closest he’d ever come to truly saying it.
“I guess not,” she said and walked closer.
“Then why ask?” He grabbed his bottle of water and took a quick drink.
“What’s wrong, Cole? You aren’t normally this short with me.”
“I thought you’d know,” he said, smiling. Then added, “I’m just tense. Nothing more. I didn’t sleep much last night.”
“Does it have to do with a woman?” she asked, grinning at him. Again, no use lying to her, she’d know.
“Not like you think.”
“Okay. I’ll let it go then. You get all defensive when I question you about who you date. Even though we both know you did it to me my whole life.”
“You need someone to watch out for you,” he said.
“Whatever,” she said, waving her hand. “I brought you some cookies. I put them in the kitchen. Let’s go upstairs so I can get some fresh air. You really need to do something about this space down here. It has a lot of potential—if you didn’t just have exercise equipment all over the place.”
“It suits my needs. It’s only me anyway.” Just like it’d always been and he planned on keeping it that way.
“It won’t always be just you.”
He didn’t bother to correct her. He’d just recently said he would never get married, and he knew she didn’t believe him. He didn’t have much fight in him right now to start that conversation again.
“What kind of cookies did you bring me?” he asked, following her up the stairs to the kitchen.
She giggled a little and he wasn’t sure why. “Do you know, Caleb likes when I give him cookies, too.”
“Okay,” Cole said, almost snarling at her. “I’m not in the mood for your play talk with Caleb. Why do you do that to me? Why do you always have to make me feel uncomfortable?”
It’s like she delighted in embarrassing him. She had a wicked warped sense of humor.
“Because it’s fun. You’re too easy at times. But really, it’s because you’re my brother and I love you. I hate to see you worked up over anything. It took your mind off of whatever it was, though, didn’t it?”
“And put it on a thought I’d rather not have. Do I have to go have a talk with Caleb again? You should be thanking me, not rubbing my face in what you two do behind closed doors.”
She walked over and patted his cheek, then lifted the lid on the container of cookies she brought, flashing what was inside. Jumbos, his favorite. Okay, so she got a pass, because those took a lot of work to make.
“I thank you most mornings for saving my life. In this case, I’ll thank you for stopping Caleb from leaving town before he could track me down and give me grief for lying to him.”
“Give you hell. Just once I want to hear you swear. Say ‘give me hell.’”
“Nope, not going to do it. Swearing isn’t polite. If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a million times. Grandma is always watching and she’d know if I swore.”
He rolled his eyes and focused back on her earlier comment. “So Caleb told you about when I cornered him at his house?”
Her eyes widened. “No, but you just did, and you’re going to explain it all.”
Crap. “Then why did you thank me?”
“Because you’re the only one who would have known what I was feeling that day, and the only one who knew I’d end up at the cemetery.
No one else could have told Caleb. Now I want to know what you two talked about,” she demanded, crossing her arms.
“Nothing of importance. Everything worked out the way it should have,” he said.
She didn’t need to know her fiancé got one up on him. How Caleb was smaller than Cole and still managed to throw him against the truck. Then again, Cole decided not to retaliate. He wanted to, and he could have, and would have done some serious damage. But deep down, it wasn’t the way to handle things that day. Caleb had been hurting almost as much as Celeste was.
“It did,” she said, handing him over a cookie. For a second, he thought she was just going to tease him with them. “So are you going to tell me this woman’s name?”
He took a bite and said around a mouthful, “What, you can’t see it in your crystal ball?”
“You’re funny, Cole, when you want to be. My crystal ball is a bit cloudy right now.”
“Mine’s broken,” he said. “And there is no woman, not like you think.”
“Whatever you say. One day it will all make sense to you.”
He was losing his patience with her. “Everything makes perfect sense to me. Someday you’ll understand that we aren’t all meant to live the ideal life. Not everyone is meant to have a mate.”
She shook her head. “We all have a mate out there, Cole. Even you know that. It’s what you choose to do with that information that matters.”
“Do you think Mom would do it over?” He didn’t know what possessed him to ask that. They’d never talked about their parents’ relationship.
“What kind of question is that? Of course she would. She wouldn’t change anything that has happened in her life.”
“I doubt that, Celeste. Do you think she wanted to be a widow? Do you think she ever thought she’d be? She didn’t sign up for that.”
“You’re wrong. She did. She knew exactly what she was getting into when she married Dad. Did she want it to happen? No, she didn’t, not any more than either of us wanted to lose our father. Or lose him in the line of duty so young. But she wouldn’t have changed all the happiness she had in her life when he was alive, either.”
