by Natalie Ann
“I didn’t have time to make dessert, but I picked these up on my way home. Aren’t they cute?” She opened the box to show two heart-shaped brownies. She couldn’t resist them when she saw them in the window. Especially with the white frosted x’s and o’s.
“They’re cute,” he said, grinning at her.
She started to blush with embarrassment. He probably thought she was being silly. “Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day, so I figured it was an appropriate dessert.”
“I didn’t realize the date.”
“I wasn’t buying a gift. I mean I wasn’t expecting a gift. I just thought it was something cute,” she said, ending her ramble. Now she felt she’d put her foot in her mouth.
He gave her a kiss on the lips. “Rene. Relax. It’s a sweet thought. Thank you.”
Sweet thought. Yeah, that was her. Always thinking of sweet things like that. Now he probably thought she was immature, on top of everything else. She’d love to be able to just smash this mold she built of herself for years.
“You’re welcome. You’re probably hungry, so why don’t I get started on dinner?”
“Is there anything I can do to help?”
“No, you can just keep me company. My grandmother actually cooked the pasta for me before I got home, so I just need to add the rest of the ingredients and dressing, then cook the burgers. Nothing fancy, but it’s a fast meal.”
“Nothing beats a burger to me.”
“Not even a bacon burger?” she asked, pulling slices out of a brown package the butcher wrapped up for her.
“Bacon beats everything.”
***
Dinner was great. She was fast and efficient, and he was somewhat surprised by that. He didn’t remember her being fast at anything before. Deliberate, sure, fast, not so much.
“Let me help you clean up,” he said, walking next to her at the sink. “I appreciate the home-cooked meal.”
“I get the feeling you don’t cook often, but then again you’ve got Celeste, so I wouldn’t cook either.”
He laughed. “What gave it away? The pans that looked barely used?”
She giggled and cuddled into his side. “That, and the fact you said she always gives you food. You don’t look like you’re too deprived of meals.”
“You might be the first person who’s ever said that to me. Most women think I’m built just right. I think you just called me fat.”
She paled and pushed back away from him fast. “Oh God, no. I didn’t mean that. I mean you’re built nice. Not scrawny. I tend to end up with scrawny men and it’s not very attractive. I guess that’s all I’m saying.”
“So a backhanded compliment. But I’ll take it.” He threw the dishtowel on the counter and pulled her forward by her hand, the electricity of that simple touch hitting him square in the chest. “Let’s go sit on the couch and make out.”
“Sweet,” she said, all excited.
He was trying not to get confused. She hadn’t come in with any overnight bags, so she obviously wasn’t planning on spending the night. He also didn’t want to assume anything more than dinner, so he figured he’d start out slow. Her eagerness just gave him some encouragement, though.
Sitting down on the large sectional, he put his legs out in front of him and pulled her against his side. It didn’t take long for her to curl up on his chest and start to kiss him. All those feelings when he was a kid, being big and strong, being her savior, they were amplified with her small form next to him as an adult now.
He slid his hand into her hair and held her head still, tasting and feeling her for the moment. Trying to hold on to the feeling of her finally being there with him. Alone, in his house. Trying to take it slow until he could figure her out. Next thing he knew, she was lying on top of him.
Shortly after, she was rubbing against him, then pushing her hips into his. This wasn’t the Rene he remembered either, but it was helping him get a clearer vision of the night.
“Cole,” she said, rubbing up and down on him.
“Hmm,” he said, losing a bit of himself, bringing his hands down her sides, under her shirt, then over her jeans and cupping her behind, grinding her into him some more. The part that he was losing…he wondered if he’d ever find it with someone else.
“I like this,” she said, moaning low in her throat.
“Me too.” He decided to take a risk. “Do you want to go upstairs?”
“I do,” she said and he let out a sigh. Then suddenly her chest wasn’t against his and she was sitting on his groin, her knees spread wide on each side of him, the heat of her radiating through their clothes. “There’s something you should know first.”
“What’s that?” he asked, his hands moving up her hips and settling on her waist again, just getting another feel of her skin. God, he didn’t know it was possible for someone to have skin so soft and smooth as hers. Or was it just his heightened reactions at the moment?
“I’ve never done this before.”
“Done what?” he asked, desperate to feel any part of her he could.
Her face was starting to turn a light shade of pink. “Had sex.”
“What?” he asked, his hands freezing.
“Sex. I’ve never had sex before. What is there not to understand? Is that a problem?”
It shouldn’t be, but it was. At least in his mind. He couldn’t remember the last time he was with a virgin. High school, maybe? He wanted to say yes, it was a problem, but he looked at her face and saw she was losing some of her confidence. It was the last thing he wanted to do, to make her feel unsure about herself. But then it just added pressure to him to make it the best he could so that she had nothing but wonderful memories. Being someone’s first could affect their future sexual experiences, right?
“No. It’s not,” he said. “So never? You’ve done nothing at all?” he asked, trying to get some clarification in order to figure out how to proceed.
“Of course I’ve fooled around. I just haven’t had sex. I’ve had lots of orgasms. I’ve done just about everything there is but actually have intercourse.”
He choked for a second. “Explain that to me.” The last thing he wanted to do was assume anything at this point.
“Do I need to tell you what an orgasm is?” She was grinning at him. “From what I hear, you know darn well what it is.”
He chose to ignore her last comment. “I know what one is, wise-ass. I’m trying to figure it out in my mind, that’s all.”
“Oral Sex. Masturbation. You know. Wasn’t there a song once that said something about touching myself and liking it?”
Now he felt heat fill his face. She was talking about this like they were talking about making bacon burgers earlier. How could she be a virgin and not be blushing about this conversation?
“I know what that is,” he said, grumbling, and if he wasn’t careful, he could have one right now with her sitting there looking so sexy and innocent at the same time.
“Good, because we’ve all done it, even if someone says they haven’t.”
This was too much for him. “Okay, so you…touch yourself.” That image alone was making his jeans tighten even more.
“What’s the matter? Can’t you say it? Mast-ur-ba-tion. It’s just a word, Cole.”
“I’d rather not and we’re getting off topic. So you’ve fooled around and you like it?”
“Absolutely.”
“Then why haven’t you gone any further? Are you saving yourself for marriage?” he asked, that thought just popping into his head. What was he setting himself up for right now?
“No. It’s just never felt right before. Now it does.”
“Why?” He wanted to know she really wanted to do this, that she didn’t feel pressured by him.
“I don’t know. There’s no hidden meaning here. I guess I was so focused on school and what I was going to do with my life, I never let myself focus on other things. I’ve been in relationships before, but the timing never seemed right to do much more than just fool around a bit.”
“Because those men were scrawny?” he asked, trying to lighten things.
“I guess that could be part of it.” She lay back down on top of him, and put her lips against his. “I really want you to take me to bed. I really want to have sex and I want to have it with you. Don’t read any more into it than it is. The timing wasn’t right before. It is now.”
He believed her. At this point, she couldn’t be any clearer. She was an educated adult, she knew her mind, and it seemed her mind wanted him. Thank God for that, because if she changed her mind he was going to have to dig deep to not show the hurt that maybe he wasn’t right for her. This from a guy who’d mastered the indifference face when with women.
Swinging his legs over the side of the couch, he stood up and lifted her in his arms. “You’ve got until I step foot in my room to change your mind.”
“I won’t be changing it,” she said and wrapped her arms around his neck.
He took the stairs two at a time and stopped at his doorway. “Still okay?”
“That’s sweet, but you just asked me one minute ago. Take me in your room, Cole. I want to feel what it’s like to have you inside of me. I want to feel like I’ve never felt before.”
She couldn’t get any clearer than that—and he knew without a doubt it wouldn’t just be her that never felt this way before by the time the night was over.
He walked into his room and laid her on the bed, then came down on top of her and just kissed her long and deep.
“I know you can kiss and I know you can kiss good, but I’d love to move on to other things.”
“I’ve done this before, and you haven’t. My room, my rules. You’re going to have to give yourself over to me right now.” He ran his hand down the side of her face and watched her smile. The same smile that had haunted him so much as a kid.
“I thought I was by agreeing to come to your room.”
She was definitely a lot bolder than he remembered, and secretly he loved it.
“Then just enjoy what comes.”
“I know I will. I enjoy having orgasms.”
He choked out a laugh. She was being blunt, so he would be, too. “I’m going to make you come. Men say come, woman say orgasms.”
She giggled a little. “Just like I say masturbation and you say touch yourself.”
“Exactly. Now be quiet and let me get to work. Just feel and enjoy it.”
He touched his lips to hers, started to kiss her gently, then deeper. His hands slid under her sweater and then pushed it up and over her head. Then off her bra went. He didn’t want to rush, he wanted her to remember her first time was with someone that put her on a pedestal, but she was making it hard on him to do anything at the moment.
He cupped her breasts, and they almost filled his large hands, but not quite. “I like what you’ve got here. Just enough. More than enough for me.”
“I like what I’ve got, too,” she said, moaning as he started to suck on her nipple, pulling it in between his teeth and then sucking some more. She was raising her hips up higher and faster against him while he played.
“Do you touch yourself here, too?” he asked.
“Sometimes.”
She had hidden depths of passion and he couldn’t wait to unleash them if he could just get past this first time.
He continued to kiss her, lick, suck, and bite. Trying to find what she liked and what she didn’t, but so far he found out she liked everything he was doing.
Slowly, he made his way down her ribs, her waist, and to the button of her jeans. He only stopped briefly and undid them, then pulled them off fast with her underwear. She may be technically a virgin, but she wasn’t shy in this part of her life.
Settling between her legs, he looked his fill. Yeah, she was a tiny little thing but she had all the parts he loved the best, and he was going to worship every bit of her.
His hands started to move over her thighs, spreading her open more and then rubbing all around. She was soaking wet and he was thrilled. It would ease the pain when he finally made her his. His. Did his heart just start racing more? Focus on the prize in front of you, he mentally scolded himself.
Sliding one finger in, he heard her moan and realized she wasn’t as tight as he thought she’d be. “Do you own a toy?” he asked.
“No. I want the real thing there. At least the first time.” Yep, no shyness at all. He slid another finger in. A little tight but not much, and her hips rose even higher. “Your fingers are so much bigger than mine. That feels good.”
“Rene, you’re killing me here.” He was breaking out in a sweat, he knew he was.
“Sorry. I can’t help it. I like the way it feels.”
Which still didn’t really explain why she never did this before, but it wasn’t time to question her again right now. No, right now he needed to send her over at least once and get her more primed.
He dipped his head down and took a taste. Sweet and succulent. “Oh wow, I’ve missed that,” she said, gripping his head and holding him in place.
“How the hell are you still a virgin?” he asked out loud before he could stop himself. “How can you be this responsive and no one has gotten any further?”
“They weren’t you. Do it again, Cole. Taste me again.”
Weren’t me. Whether what she said had more meaning or not, he took it the way he wanted. He wanted to be the superhero she’d been waiting for.
So he tasted her again, and then a second time. He found the core of her and started to suck and move his fingers, then sent her right over the edge.
When her breathing was more level, and his too, he climbed off the bed, undressed, and grabbed a condom.
“Can I put it on you?” she asked.
“Not this time. Next time.” He didn’t think he’d last if she did it. He was surprised he’d lasted this long as it was. Somewhere deep in the recesses of his brain he realized this was beyond physical for him, but he pushed that terrifying thought aside.
He knelt between her legs again and started to taste her some more, build her up again and bring her as close as he could without sending her over.
“Mmm, I love that,” she said, so he continued on torturing and teasing her until her nails were biting into his shoulders.
Moving up her body, he settled between her legs and started to ease in gently. She grabbed his head and kissed him hard, then lifted her hips up and drove him in fast before he could stop her. She barely even tensed, just for a fraction and then started to move back and forth.
“Why did you do that?” he asked, grinding his teeth against the tightness and the wonderful feeling that was all consuming. Did the gates of heaven just open up? Because he was blinded by a sudden light.
“I didn’t want to prolong it and I’m glad I didn’t.” Her hips were moving, slow and steady, stroking him, riding him.
“My room, my rules. Let me take a bit of control here,” he said, his voice ragged.
“Do you say that to all the women?” she asked, her eyes half-closed, her breath coming out in pants. He’d bet she wasn’t even aware she said that.
“I don’t talk about other women in my bedroom.”
“Good rule. Show me what you’ve got then.”
So he did. Long and steady strokes until she was gripping his hips with her hands, pushing and pulling against him and with him. She still wanted the control, but he wasn’t handing it over. He had Rene Buchanan in his bed. It seemed like a lifetime of waiting to get here.
The minute he felt her muscles start to constrict, he increased his speed, his heart lodged in his throat, his breathing tense, until finally he had no choice but to let them both fly.
For once, the flight was better than anything else he’d ever experienced. On the ground or in the air. Maybe even in his heart.
No Regrets
Rene snuggled in closer to Cole’s chest, shocked at the things she’d said, let alone just did. Part of her was thrilled, the other part mortified. She never knew she’d be able
to say those things and was wondering what Cole thought of it.
“Having any regrets?”
She waited a second and then just went with her gut. “Absolutely not. I’m wondering what took me so long to do it.”
She felt his chest rumble under her head. “They weren’t me,” he said.
Lifting her head, she looked at him more closely. “What?”
“I asked how you could still be a virgin and you said ‘they weren’t you.’ Want to explain that to me?”
Now she was really mortified. How the heck did she slip and say that? More so, how did she explain it to him?
“I might have said that in the heat of the moment,” she said, hedging.
“I’ll buy part of that. Still, there has to be something to it.” She ducked her head down and tried to bury her face. “Where did all your confidence go? Where’s the boldness that had you throwing around words like masturbation and orgasms earlier?”
She heard the laughter in his voice. Taking a deep breath, she lifted her head again. “Those are clinical terms.”
“Yep, they are, but you aren’t at work. You’re in my bed.”
“I am. And I like that. But guys don’t use those words in bed. You’d rather say ‘touch yourself’, right?” she said.
“Don’t forget about making you come.”
The heat filled her face again. She was so not good at this. “That too.”
“So? Where did it go?” he asked, leaning down and kissing her forehead, then running his hand up and down her back in a soft gentle caress. “I liked it.”
“Really?”
“I’m surprised you need to ask that since we were both shouting out a few curse words minutes ago.”
“I didn’t swear, did I? Oh my God, I don’t curse.”
“You’re just no fun right now,” he said, laughing a bit and then kissing her again. “Rene. Back to my question. Are you regretting this?”
“No. I’m not. As to why I waited, I just don’t know. Not the full answer.”
“So what is part of the answer then?”
“I was busy with school. Focused on other things. I’ve dated, I told you that. I’ve participated in sexual activities.”
