Yeah, I didn’t want to go there just yet.
I moved away, giving us both some space. “Are you going to bathe?”
He shook his head. “I want to get moving so we can get you to Genesis before nightfall.”
That sounded like a good idea. Anything to put some distance between this place and me. Like the abandoned house we’d spent the night, this place was going to feel meaningful to me. It was, I guess, where I’d really given my trust back to Jason.
So I would either remember it fondly or want to kick myself—hard—every time I thought about it.
“I’ll shift and you can jump on. We’ve probably only got a few hours to go. Can you stay awake that long?”
I scowled at him, or at least I tried to. “I’m feeling quite refreshed, thank you.”
“You’re feeling quite refreshed, thank you?”
His teasing words brought heat back to my cheeks. It was amazing they didn’t just stayed red whenever Jason was around.
“What is wrong with what I just said?”
He laughed, his eyes dancing with joy. “You sound like an eighty-year-old librarian.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
He shook his head. “Yes, you do.”
I pointed at him. “Don’t you have some shifting to do or something?”
“Sure thing, Rachel.”
I rolled my eyes and turned around so I could get my blush under control. I’m a redhead. I don’t just blush; I turn the color of neon tomato soup.
Jason’s head hitting my rear end made me gasp. He had changed into his wolf form very fast and was waiting on me to climb back on. It was a little strange, I’ll admit, to realize I was somehow involved with a guy who could also be called a means of transportation.
My mind stuttered at my last thought and I said a quick ‘I’m sorry’ to Chad in my mind. He was just days gone from the Earth and I was already moving on. Or maybe I was simply trying to survive. I’m pretty good an analyzing myself but in this case I felt like my brain was mush. I couldn’t make sense of it at all.
So I hung on again as Jason took off running to get me home, not sure if I’d be welcome there or if it was a good idea for me to go back at all. How did you ever ask people for forgiveness when what happened was so completely unforgivable?
***
Several hours later, I knew where I was. I’d studied the grid of Genesis’ above ground location since I was eight years old. And I’d spent the last six months living and working in these woods. I’d know them anywhere.
“Stop, Jason.”
He pulled up short until he came to a complete halt and I jumped off.
“Go. You can’t come to Genesis with me. They won’t understand. They’ll cut off your head.”
He whined and shifted his body. Moments later, he stood before me in his gorgeous, blond-haired human form regarding me with cool blue eyes.
“You want me to leave you here?”
I nodded. “I do. Don’t make a big thing about this. You need to go and confront your father and I need to go tell Chad’s family what happened to him.”
He reached out to touch my hair. “I could come. I could tell them what I saw.”
“They’ll never believe you didn’t kill him and trick me. You’re a Wolf. That automatically makes you a bad guy to them.”
He nodded. I wasn’t telling him things he didn’t know. Still, I knew it had to be hard for him to hear. In his heart of hearts, Jason considered himself to be human. He’d been treated as human before Armageddon when no one had known Werewolves or Vampires existed. His mother had been human. Everything had changed and he hadn’t been conscious enough to change with it. I knew that he was struggling inside. He was a strong, tough guy and he wanted to be able to walk with me wherever I went as if he had the right to do so.
I wished he could have those things, too. But it would never be that way and that’s why I’d wanted to run away with him. With his pack, it might have worked. Here, it never would.
“You’re my girl.”
He wasn’t asking, but said it like it was fact. Even though I knew I should say something, anything I said to refute it would be a lie and he would be able to smell it.
I nodded because we both knew it was true. I was, once again, his girl, even if it made me the stupidest girl on the planet.
“I’m not going to spend forever hiding from your friends.”
“You won’t have to.” I sighed. “After I deliver all the bad news I have to give, I think they may oust me from the compound.”
“Then I’ll kill all of them.”
I shook my head. “There has been enough death and enough threats of it.”
I really felt that way. The whole trip, from the moment I’d gotten in the car with Chad, until right now when Jason had dropped me off so close to Genesis exhausted me. Somehow, I’d aged. I knew I was still sixteen but my body was telling me I was now ancient, like I hadn’t slept in a year and might never again.
“I’m going to confront my father and then I’m coming back. How will I get your attention?”
I motioned to the area where we stood. “I’ll start coming here every day in about five days. I’ll wait an hour and then I’ll leave. I’ll come at noon and I’ll do it for three days.” I took a deep breath and said what needed to be said. “I won’t wait forever. If you don’t come during that time, I don’t want to ever see you again.”
“I’ll be there, Rachel, on the first day.”
I held up my hands to stop him from speaking before I leaned over to kiss him lightly on the lips. “Don’t make me promises, Jason. So far you’re not all that good at keeping them—whether it’s your fault or someone else’s.”
“Rachel….”
I pulled out of his embrace before turning on my heel to head home. Genesis had always been a haven for me, but it felt like I walked to my demise. Chad had been the best out of all the young Warriors. He’d been one birthday away from advancing to adult Warrior status. One birthday away from assuming a leadership role. He would never get that chance because I had gone and gotten caught by the Vampires.
Of course, he would probably tell me I couldn’t hold the weight of all bad things on my shoulders. I wish I knew how to do that. I wish I could figure out a way to look at a situation and know that my own incompetence, my own ineptitude hadn’t made things so much worse than they might otherwise be.
I came to a halt as the scene I approached made me stop breathing. Genesis was in front of me but it wasn’t the tent site I had left weeks earlier. No, it was decimated.
A small fire burned in the center of the compound where a large one should have been. Tents were strewn all over the ground and, considering it was the middle of the day, the crowd of people who should have been out and about was nowhere to be seen.
Dread filled my stomach. I hadn’t allowed myself to think very often about what might have happened while I was gone. We’d gone to find help because we’d known there was a fight brewing. Had it happened? Had we lost?
I ran forward without watching my footing and nearly fell twice, righting myself by sheer force of will alone.
“Rachel.” Deacon’s voice caught my attention and I skidded to a stop. I’d never been so relieved to hear him. He wasn’t dead. They weren’t all dead.
I threw my arms around him and he caught me as I launched myself at him. “When I saw the disarray I thought….”
He interrupted me. “You were right. It happened. They nearly killed us all.”
I swallowed as I pulled back to look at him. He would be the first person I told. Deacon never judged; he never expected me to be more than I was.
“Chad is dead. It’s my fault.”
My voice broke as I spoke. Deacon grabbed my face in his hands. “I thought you had to be dead, too. When you drove off I got this sinking sensation you’d both be dead.”
“I’m not.” I looked back at the mess. “But I sort of wish I was.”
/> He nodded, his face solemn, the dark depths of his eyes swirling with emotion. “Me, too.”
“How many?”
He closed his eyes. “Half of our numbers were killed. Rachel, they came up through Genesis. We finally had to blow the elevator. But it was too late. The non-Warriors, they couldn’t defend themselves. It was a blood bath.”
I couldn’t imagine it. If it had affected Deacon this deeply than it had to be very, very bad.
“I have to tell the Lyons.”
He nodded as he took my hand. “Come on.”
I thought I had known how bad this would be. I’d imagined it a million times. I was wrong.
Chapter Sixteen
I made myself stare into Carol Lyons’ eyes without blinking. I had to get through this. She was the one who had to hear about her son. This moment couldn’t be about my need to let loose all my emotions. But the second I let my eyes blink? I knew all my good intentions would be over. There wouldn’t be any stopping the flow of tears that was sure to explode out of me.
“So, he’s d-d-dead?”
The stutter from the woman who had been the closest thing to a mother to me tore into my insides like she’d struck me with a weapon.
Patrick placed his hand on her shoulder. “Tell me again.”
I turned my focus to look at Chad’s father. “He came to get me from Icahn’s underground prison. We’d already managed to get ourselves out of the mines but we were in over our heads with the Vampires in the cages. Truth is, he saved all of us. But then the ceiling started to shake.”
Deacon cleared his throat next to me. “That’s pretty standard procedure. If a place becomes insecure, they destroy it and everyone in it.”
I nodded. I had figured as much. “The Werewolf—Jason—he came and pulled me out. But he couldn’t find anyone else before the whole place exploded.”
Patrick’s eyes flared with anger. “Or he didn’t want to.”
I held up my hand. “Whatever else you believe, please know that I feel with absolute certainty that Jason would have rescued Chad and the others if he could have.”
Deacon laughed. “What is with you and this Werewolf? How many chances are you going to give him?”
“Deacon.” I kept my voice level when I wanted to holler. “This is not the time for a Jason discussion.”
Carol let out a little sob, and Patrick made a choking sound. Finally, Chad’s father spoke.
“Thank you for telling us, Rachel. I can’t tell you what a relief it is to see you’ve made it back safely.”
His words started the floodgate of my tears. “I can’t begin to tell you sorry I am. I really loved him.”
Carol nodded and closed her eyes, pressing her distraught face into her husband’s chest. I stood still and watched the scene, knowing I should be leaving, knowing I should leave them alone so they could tell Tia, Micah, and the small children that Chad would never return home to them.
But I couldn’t make my feet work. In front of me was the image of what my life with Chad could have been; what he’d imagined we’d have together. Two people living and loving in Genesis where things were hard but you knew it could get so much worse. We would never have that together. Not now, not ever, because he lay cold in an unmarked pile of rubble.
Death was so commonplace in our lives that most of the Warriors never gave it much thought. What was the point of dwelling on the inevitable? But I knew this one would hit us all particularly hard. Chad was the Lyons first son, a born Warrior of two of the greatest Warriors who ever lived. He’d been smart, talented, kind, and strong.
We’d lost Chad and Genesis was in ruins.
Even as I watched Carol cry hard in her husband’s already soaked shirt, I knew that both her son’s death and the destruction of our home would be losses we would not recover from.
Deacon pulled on my arm. He looked pale and I was surprised by how affected he seemed. He’d hated Chad. I took his hand and let him lead me from the room.
“Keith and the others will need to hear the rest of what you told me about Liberty and about the Vampires using us as prey.”
My head spun. I really, really wanted to go to bed. “Right now?”
“Rachel!”
I turned at the sound of my father’s voice. His gate looked fast as he made his way towards me. My mood brightened slightly at seeing him. He seemed…alert.
“He’s been helping us fight, a little bit. He took down a few Vampires using a stool from his bar. It was impressive.” Deacon shrugged. “Then he fell over. I kept him safe. For you.”
I turned to regard Deacon. I’d have to be an idiot to not know what his feelings were for me. He hadn’t exactly been subtle about them. But to me, Deacon was my friend. Probably my best friend since Tia went off the deep end. I was more grateful for his presence than I could ever articulate.
“Thank you.”
He nodded. “You’re welcome.”
My father reached us and pulled me into a strong embrace. For a second I couldn’t move. When had he ever hugged me? The moment was over before it began as he released me, nearly bending over in a fit of coughing.
As I watched him hack, the hollow sound filling up the silence of the destroyed camp around us, I tried to not let my anxiety get the best of me. Around here, especially since we’d come up from underground, little colds could mean dire things.
“How are you feeling, Dad?”
He waved his hand. “A shot of the good stuff tonight and I’ll be right as rain.”
I rolled my eyes. “Apparently the Vampires didn’t take the moonshine?”
“No, they left that.”
Dad always missed sarcasm and irony. I was glad to see nothing changed in that respect.
“We’re on our way to find Keith.”
My father sucked in his breath. “Poor man.”
I looked at Deacon but his face was a stony mask I couldn’t read.
My heart rate picked up. Clearly, Keith wasn’t dead, but an anxiety I couldn’t name lodged its way into my stomach.
“What happened to Keith?”
My father continued to shake his head, and I turned to regard Deacon. If I had to, I’d shake the answer out of him.
Finally, he spoke. “Tiffani isn’t doing well.”
My breath caught in my throat. “Her pregnancy is going badly?”
Deacon kicked a stone with his foot. “She should be delivering or whatever. Only she’s not. She’s late.”
“What does that mean?”
He stared me straight in the eyes. “I haven’t a frickin clue. Apparently it’s bad news.”
Deacon moved forward like a man on a mission, and I had a pretty good idea that mission was to get away from me. I’d seen it before. Anytime the subject of birthing came up, men ran for the hills.
“Bye, Dad.”
I smiled at him as I ran after Deacon. Presumably, he knew where Keith was. In this new, destroyed version of Genesis I didn’t have a clue where that might be.
“Slow down, I’m exhausted.”
Deacon slowed his steps and I got to his side. “Sorry. Since things got so bad, if you don’t move fast, the monsters come after you.”
We walked in companionable silence. It was easy to be with Deacon. He didn’t try to make conversation where none was needed.
Unless, of course, he couldn’t stop himself from talking about things that were none of his business.
“How could you take up with the Wolf again?”
“Deacon.” I grabbed his arm to stop him from walking. “It’s so complicated between Jason and me; I can’t even begin to explain it to you.”
Deacon exploded. “I’m a smart person. I think I could understand it if you explained it to me. He left you sitting in the snow. You walked around like a ghost for six months. Then, just as you’re starting to get better and I think: okay, time to tell her how I feel, you run off with Chad and come back with the Wolf.”
Deacon hardly took a breath in his whole spe
ech and most of it was shouted at the top of his lungs.
I kept my voice calm. I didn’t need every soul left in the half-empty camp to know our business.
“I know how you feel, Deacon.”
“Do you?” He gripped my shoulders. “The second I saw you, I knew we were meant to be together. That’s why you rescued me from that cage, that’s why you couldn’t leave me there that day and go back with the Wolves. Because it’s meant to be you and me.”
I pulled back. “You’re my best friend. Why can’t that be enough?”
“Because it’s not.” He ran a hand through his hair. “And it never will be. Don’t make me Tia. Don’t pretend I could ever be that.”
He took my hand and pulled me forward. Before I could blink, his mouth was on mine, warm, soft, and gentle. Not the way I would have imagined Deacon kissed. My breath caught in my throat before I wrenched myself out of his arms. I touched my lips; they were hot from the encounter.
“Listen, I’m a one guy kind of girl. When I was with Jason, I wasn’t with anyone else. Then the same went with Chad. Now I’m back with Jason. I’m sorry. That’s how it is.”
“All right.” His words said one thing but the flare in his eyes told a different tale. “I’m nothing if not patient, Rachel. And I mean to keep you once I have you.”
“That’s very dramatic, Deacon.”
He laughed, which had been my intention. I needed to diffuse him before he hit me over the head and dragged me off somewhere.
We kept walking. I knew the area where we were going. Things must really be dire for Tiffani if they’d moved to her to the ‘outer tents.’ Basically, since we’d moved up from underground it was the area of the camp where the very ill were kept from the rest of us.
“The mines are pretty awful, aren’t they?”
His words startled me in their simplicity. There were so many horrors to be found down there that words ‘awful’ didn’t begin to cover them.
The Warrior - Initiation Driven Subversive Redemption Justice Page 37
