by Kelly Oram
The guest list wasn’t short, either. They’d invited everyone they knew. They’d never thrown a party for Adrianna and me, not even when we got engaged, but I guess dating a nonprofit organization-starting do-gooder Stanford graduate with political aspirations was something they could finally be proud of.
Snobs.
But, they were Mom and Dad, and even though they drove me crazy they weren’t the worst parents in the world. I loved them, so I let them have their fancy get-together and grit my teeth through all the painful introductions as they showed my girlfriend off to virtually all of the Who’s Who in Orange County.
“Oh, Valerie darling, come here! You have to meet the mayor.”
Yes, my mother refused to call Val anything but Valerie.
Val gave my mom a bright smile and turned her attention to the short, fat bald guy in khaki pants and a polo shirt next to her. “Mayor Lambert, of course,” Val greeted cheerfully. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
My mom beamed with pride over the fact that Val already knew his name.
I wandered a few feet away back to the hors d’oeuvres table and let them have their introductions.
“My son finally snagged himself a keeper. Valerie is a Stanford graduate,” my mother bragged. “She double majored in both economics and political science with honors and is starting her graduate work in a couple of weeks. You’d better keep your eye on her or she might just steal your job in a couple of years.”
“Oh, I think Mr. Mayor is safe,” Val teased. “I’ve got my eyes set on a different office.”
“It wouldn’t be oval-shaped, would it?”
Val shrugged. “Well, rectangle is just so boring.”
The three of them erupted into polite laughter.
Sadly, Val seemed to be having a great time. Watching her standing there next to my mother schmoozing with the hoity-toity crowd as if she completely belonged, I realized something disturbing. Aside from the snootiness that my mother had from being raised as a girl with money and privilege that Val didn’t have, the two women were actually a lot alike. They were even wearing similar sundresses and strappy sandals.
Shane moseyed up next to me and followed my gaze. “She actually seems to be enjoying herself,” he mused.
I sighed. “I’m dating my mother.”
Shane snorted. “There’s a sort of poetic justice in that that I find amusing.”
Val snuck a quick glance around, looking for me. When her eyes met mine, she smiled and rolled her eyes as if she were only humoring my mom. I have to admit, it lightened my mood a lot.
“Okay, so she’s not exactly like your mom. You should go rescue her.”
“Yeah right. My mother would kill me.”
“I’ll do it.”
Shane and I turned to the new voice and found Brody standing behind us, licking barbecue sauce off his fingers. “I’d be happy to interrupt them and steal that woman’s precious show pony from her.” He frowned at me and added, “No offense.”
“Absolutely none taken,” I said with a laugh.
I wasn’t offended by Brody’s hostility toward my parents. I actually admired the kid for having the guts to stand up to them. My parents had been polite to Val Sr. and Brody, but their disdain for the once-pregnant teen and now-single mom and her son was thinly veiled. I’d wanted to strangle them both a few times today for their subtle snubs.
“If you know a way, please, by all means, go for it. I’d love to see the look on her face.”
Brody handed me his empty plate. “Watch and learn, dude.”
He licked his fingers one last time and strode over to my mother, stepping between her and the mayor and tugging on Val’s arm. “Excuse me, Mrs. Hamilton,” he said with all the false politeness she’d given him today. “Do you mind if I steal my sister for a little while? She promised me a game of volleyball and I have to leave soon.” He turned his big, fake smile on the mayor. “Did you know she plays for her college? She’s a strong-side hitter.”
“And a college-level athlete, too!” the mayor said, his eyebrows rising in surprise. “That is very impressive, Miss Jensen.”
“We’ll see how impressive it is,” Brody said. “What do you say, sis, you and Kyle against me and Mom? Losers have to jump in the ocean fully clothed.”
I snickered at the completely aghast look on my mom’s face, then burst out laughing when the mayor loved the idea. Val smiled at her brother with genuine excitement and affection. “I say it’s going to be a long, uncomfortable ride home for you and your mom,” she taunted.
She smiled at my mom and the mayor as if everything were completely normal. “If you guys will excuse me, it appears I need to go settle a little family dispute.”
She left before my mom had the chance to argue.
“Good luck!” the mayor called out.
Brody was my new hero until Val kissed my cheek and said, “I hope you’re prepared to get dirty. You and I have been challenged. Smack-talk was involved and my honor is now at stake, so we can’t back out.”
I frowned, so she kissed my lips, hoping to win me over. It worked. “Please?”
“Are you batting your eyelashes at me?” I asked, trying as hard as I could not to grin.
She batted those beauties again and looked up at me from beneath them as she stuck her bottom lip into a pout. “Is it working?”
If her intent was to get herself ravished by me in front of God, her parents, and the Huntington Beach Yacht Club, then yes, it was definitely working. “You had me at ‘let’s get dirty.’”
She rolled her eyes and pulled me down the patio steps to the sand where a couple of volleyball nets were set up.
. . . . .
“We got hustled,” Val whined forty-five minutes later as we stood on the sand, looking out at the waves.
“You got hustled,” I corrected. “I could have guessed Val Sr. was an athlete, seeing as how it runs in the family and all, and Brody knew full well I suck at sports.”
She sighed, defeated. “How was I supposed to know there was something you aren’t good at?”
Brody laughed and slapped Val and me on the shoulders. “Take a walk, losers.”
Val grimaced. “I suppose now is a bad time to mention I’m scared of the ocean?”
“What?” Brody asked, astonished. “You grew up less than two miles from the beach and you’re afraid to get in the ocean?”
“There could be sharks,” Val said. “And lots of slimy things. What if a fish touches my leg?”
I’d never seen her act like more of a girl.
“Don’t worry, Val, I’ll fight off the fish for you.” I pulled her toward the water and she dug her feet into the sand. “You made the bet, babe, and you lost. Time to take your defeat like a man.”
“Rematch!” she shouted to Brody. “Just you and me. Without the handicap, I’d have killed you and you know it!”
“Handicap?” I scoffed. “I wasn’t that bad.”
Val gave me a flat look. Apparently, stress took away her sense of humor. “Kyle, Robin could have played better than you, and she’s two days overdue.”
“Robin?”
There was no way she was going to get away with that, no matter how adorable she was when she was suffering from an anxiety attack. I scooped her into my arms and walked into the waves. I laughed when she started shrieking and had to hold on tight as she flailed in my arms. “Would you look at that?” I taunted. “I guess all my muscles are good for more than just looking at, after all.”
“Kyle, I’m serious! Don’t you dare drop—”
I threw her into an approaching wave and she screamed. The water was only up to her waist and she came up sputtering seconds later. “Kyle!” she shouted. “You jerk!”
She tried to run for the shore, but I snagged her around the waist and held on tight. “You’re not funny,” she said as she struggled to break free of my grip.
“You made a bet, woman. That’s serious business.”
When she realiz
ed she couldn’t get out of my grip, she wrapped her arms around my neck and clung for dear life. “Fine. I am officially all wet now, so can you please take me back to shore? I really, really hate being in the ocean.”
“No way. Swim with me.”
I started dragging her out just a little bit further. “Kyle, no. I’m serious. I want to get out.”
“I’ve got you, Val. I’m not going to let go. Just stay here with me for a minute. Please? It’s the only place we’re safe from my mother.”
Val pinched her eyes shut and said, “Fine. Just for a minute, and don’t you dare let go of me.”
“Never again,” I teased.
I picked her up and wrapped her legs around my waist as I waded us into the waves up to my shoulders. I had to push the skirt of her dress way up on her thighs to accomplish it. She gasped and started to protest, but then a large swell came at us that I had to jump in order to keep our heads above water. She glued herself to me like an octopus, clinging for dear life.
“You’re okay, Val,” I whispered, pushing her wet hair off her forehead with one hand while holding her tightly against me with the other. “I’ve got you.”
She took a deep breath and let her head fall to my shoulder. “Kyle, if something slimy touches me, I swear to you I am going to lose it.”
“All right. I’ll take you back soon. Just let me hold you a few minutes longer.”
Val pulled her head off my shoulder and gave me a searching look. “Are you really this desperate for my attention that you have to hold me hostage in the ocean?”
She’d asked the question seriously, self-consciously even, so I decided to be honest with her. “Yes.”
Her eyes fell shut and she sighed as she leaned her forehead to mine. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I’m a terrible girlfriend.”
“If that were true I wouldn’t be so desperate for you, would I?”
She answered me with a kiss that started out soft and quickly turned scorching. As my hands fell down her back, searching for bare skin and finding none, I cursed the bet she made that required she be in the water fully clothed.
“You should lose the dress,” I murmured. She curled her hands deep in my hair, and it was getting hard to think. “I’ve been waiting for your bikini to make an appearance all day.”
I expected her to protest, but instead her body tensed and she deepened the kiss. When she let me up for air, her hands fell from my hair to the material clinging to my chest. She yanked on it and said, “Only if you’ll lose the T-shirt, Mr. Abstinence.”
I managed to let go of her only long enough to help her rip my shirt over my head.
“You’re going to lose that,” she breathed when I tossed it away.
“I don’t care.” My words came out in a growl and I crashed my lips back on hers, slamming our bodies together.
My hands rounded the curve of her butt and finally found bare thighs. I pushed the material of her dress further up until my hands were at her bare waist. I paused, waiting to be slapped away, only no resistance came. I was confused, but definitely not complaining.
“Val! Kyle! Come back!”
The shouts sounded distant, second to the sound of my blood pumping in my ears and our ragged breaths. Both of us ignored them.
“You guys! Robin’s having her baby!”
“Good for her!” Val shouted, raising her arms above her head, waiting for me to lift her dress off. Before I could, the word baby broke through to my brain.
“Did he say Robin’s having a baby?”
“KYLE! VALERIE!”
We stopped kissing and turned to the shore where several people were jumping around wildly, trying to get our attention. My mom was frowning at us. “Your friend has gone into labor. She says you drove her here. You need to take her to the hospital.”
When it finally sank in, I cursed. “Robin’s having her baby!”
Val and I hurried back to shore where my mom was waiting for us with towels. I wasn’t sure if the disapproving look on her face was because I’d been making out with my girlfriend in the ocean, or because I’d invited a pregnant woman to her party and she’d dared to go into labor in the middle of it.
“Where is your shirt?” she hissed as we hurried up the beach back to the clubhouse.
I couldn’t even remember what had happened to it. My mom sighed. “You may take the towels with you. I’ll speak to the club owner. The valet has already brought your car around. Your friends are waiting for you.”
We hurried across the patio, shouting quick apologies and good-byes over our shoulders. After a fast-paced and dripping walk through the clubhouse, we found Cara and Shane out front standing next to my Escalade.
“That’s going to be fun,” Cara said flatly as she pointed toward the couple yelling at one another in the backseat.
Shane smirked and held open the driver’s door for me. “Better hope you don’t hit traffic.”
“Traffic?” Alan shouted, slightly panicked. “This is Southern California! There’s always traffic! I warned you, Robin! I told you we needed to stay home today!”
“And I told you I couldn’t spend one more minute in that house with your mother there breathing down my neck! That woman is insufferable! I told you not to invite her!”
“She’s my mother! I didn’t invite her! She just showed up! What was I supposed to do?”
“Lock the doors and point her toward a hotel!”
Wow. I turned back to Shane and his smirk turned grave. “Good luck, man. I’m glad I’m not you.”
I took a breath and climbed in the car.
Val kissed my mom’s cheek and muttered a quick apology before joining me in the car.
We looked at each other, and then I stepped on the gas.
“You should take her to the hospital here in Huntington,” Alan said from the backseat as I pulled out of the county club’s driveway.
“No,” Robin said.
“Robin, it’s a long drive to Pasadena.”
“We’ll be fine. I was in labor with Asher for ten hours. The contractions are still six minutes apart.”
“What if there’s traffic?” Alan demanded. “Do you want to give birth to our son on the side of the road?”
Apparently, another contraction hit because Robin grunted and hunched forward.
I couldn’t believe this was happening. There was a woman having a baby in my backseat and she expected me to drive? I pulled out my phone, thinking it would probably be better to call an ambulance, and as if she could read my thoughts, Robin glared at me in the rearview mirror. “Drive!” she shouted.
I drove.
“Take us to the hospital here,” Alan demanded again.
And then Robin turned into some scary alien monster. “I am not having this baby in a strange hospital an hour away from home with some random on-call quack!” she yelled at Alan. Her red face turned forward again and she cut through me with her glare. “You take me to Huntington Memorial in Pasadena or you are a dead man, Kyle. Do you hear me? You do not mess with a woman in labor!”
I glanced back at Alan with a sympathetic grimace. He understood the look. I was driving to Pasadena because I valued my life and wanted to keep it.
So much for a ten-hour labor. Robin’s water broke around Monrovia, soaking my leather seats in fluids I refused to think about. I was going to need a new car, but at least we made it to the hospital without the baby being born.
Robin asked us to stay—something about not letting Val leave her alone with the idiot who did this to her—so the hospital staff found a shirt for me and I experienced the longest two hours of my life.
Alan sat at Robin’s side, holding her hand. Val sat on her other side holding her other hand, and I stood in the far back corner of the room praying I wouldn’t throw up or pass out. I had to sit down when the baby’s heartbeat dropped and they brought in this vacuum thing and literally sucked the squirt out. The nurses made me put my head between my knees and brought me orange juice.
I had just decided I’d never ever, ever have children, when Robin’s baby cried for the first time. I could hardly tell what the bloody, goop-covered bundle was, but then they handed it to Robin and she cradled it as if it were the sun, the moon, and the stars wrapped in a tiny blanket.
Robin burst into tears, and then Val burst into tears, and then even Alan let a drop or two run down his cheeks. He and Robin had been fighting nonstop all day. She’d called him horrible names and threatened to castrate him multiple times. She was pale, sweat soaked, and bleary-eyed, but he stood by her side, smiling down at his wife as if he’d never loved anything or anyone more. There was so much emotion in the room that I was afraid of drowning in it.
“Kyle, come see,” Robin whispered. Her eyes never left the baby in her arms.
I wasn’t sure I could stand up, but Val took my hand and pulled me over to Robin’s bedside. I was startled by what I saw. “What’s wrong with his head?” I gasped. “Is he okay? And why is he purple?”
Everyone in the room laughed at me. “It’s from the vacuum,” Robin explained. She grinned down at her son. “It’s normal, and it’ll fix itself soon enough, won’t it, pretty boy?”
“He’s beautiful,” Val whispered. “Congratulations, you guys.”
“Thanks.”
Val squeezed my hand as she smiled down at the kid, and I got this strange flutter in my gut.
Robin passed the baby over to her husband and he turned into a puddle of mush. He bounced that baby in his arms and cooed at him as much as Robin had. Then he randomly leaned over and smashed his mouth to hers, careful of the infant in his arms.
“I love you, honey,” he said. “You make beautiful babies.”
“I love you, too. You give me beautiful babies.”
It was as if Val and I weren’t even in the room. Robin and Alan were completely lost in each other and their new son. I’d never seen a happier couple. The love they had for each other in that moment was something I hadn’t even known existed. I’d thought I understood love, but it turned out I didn’t have a clue.
