“I’ve always known who you were,” he said, laying his cheek on her head, holding her a bit more tightly as if she might disappear again. “Always been attracted to you, but you never seemed to know I even existed. I remember you talking to my brother and it seemed that you were kind of flirting with him, so I thought he was the one you were interested in.”
“I was flirting with Ben?” she said with mock horror. “I thought I was flirting with you all that time.”
Grady gave her a gentle shake. “Please tell me you’re kidding.”
“Of course I am. I could always tell you two apart.” Chloe nestled closer, her hand resting on his chest, her finger tracing the line of the buttons on his shirt. “When Ben teased me and I played along, I always hoped you would come and join us and then I could talk to you. You always seemed so aloof, and when Vanessa came I got the feeling you were interested in her.”
“That was only because she flirted outrageously with me and you didn’t give me any indication that you liked me.”
“Classic communication breakdown,” she said with a chuckle. “Blame it on me being a bit shy.”
“I wonder how things would have turned out if we had actually talked to each other instead of just assuming things?”
“Guess we’ll never know,” Chloe said.
“Guess it doesn’t matter,” Grady returned, fingering her hair away from her face. He brushed another kiss over her forehead and eased out a sigh of satisfaction. “You’re here now and so am I, and all the twists and turns of our life led us here.”
“I like here,” Chloe whispered.
He couldn’t stop himself from kissing her again. Then he pulled his head back, his hand cupping her cheek. “So where do we go from here?”
“Seeing as how the roads are glare ice and there’s a travel advisory out, nowhere, I guess,” she said with a tight smile, deliberately misunderstanding him.
He gave her another gentle shake. “You know what I’m talking about. I don’t get the idea that you’re a casual person when it comes to relationships.”
“I don’t know. I did marry Jeremy.”
“And you honored your promises even though you knew he wasn’t doing the same.”
Chloe lowered her gaze, her expression suddenly serious.
“That means more than you can know,” Grady said. “You are an honorable person. That’s rare.”
“Don’t give me too much credit,” she murmured.
Grady felt a niggle of unease at her words, then realized she was being self-deprecating, which made her even more charming.
“I think I’ve always admired you,” he said, stroking her cheek with his thumb. “While I didn’t know exactly what your life with Vanessa was like, I do know that you never spoke ill of her. Never said anything against her while she, on the other hand, seemed to have a more negative attitude.”
“That’s a kind way to say she didn’t like me,” Chloe said, smiling again.
“You can joke about that?”
“Now I can,” Chloe admitted, laying her hand on his chest. “Listening to her and her mother constantly put down my father was harder, though. I loved my father in spite of his failings.”
“You truly are a faithful person,” Grady said. “I am so thankful that you came back into my life. You mean more to me than ever before.”
“And I’m thankful I’m here,” she said.
Then, to his surprise and dismay, another tear slid down her cheek.
“Hey. Babe. What’s the matter?” The endearment slipped out even as he touched the track of moisture.
“I don’t know,” she said, hurriedly swiping away the next tear. “I’m just happy, I guess.”
He felt his own heart lift in response. “Me, too,” he said, pressing a kiss to her lips. “Me, too.”
But as he held her close he realized she hadn’t told him the real reason she was crying.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
The wind howled around Grady as he made his way across the yard the next morning. His footing was precarious and he slid more times than he cared to count, but thankfully he didn’t fall. He pulled his hat down over his ears and tugged up the collar of his jacket, keeping his eyes on the yard light above the door to the barn. Sleet beat at his face and got into his eyes, but finally he made it.
The heavy door slid open and he stepped inside.
He shook the snow off his coat and heard a questioning whinny from the far end of the barn where the horses were kept.
“I’m coming,” he called out in answer, shivering as he made his way down the semidark alleyway. He pulled open the door of one of the empty stalls where Josh had stacked some hay. It took him a while to bust open a new bale, but he had time, he told himself.
Though part of him was eager to return to the house.
And Chloe.
He broke loose the bale with his crutch then, grabbed a pitchfork and dumped a few forkfuls into the alleyway, pivoting on his crutch with every movement. When he had enough to feed the horses, he did the same, moving the hay a little more each time. It was tedious and frustrating and he had to fight his annoyance with his limitations.
But he also noticed his hip wasn’t as tight as it had been a couple days ago. Though his leg still ached and each movement created a surge of pain, for the first time since his injury he felt a sense of optimism.
Mostly that came from Chloe, who firmly believed that with time and hard work he could regain the majority of his mobility.
He managed to fork the hay into the pens, and when he was done, he was sweating from the exertion.
He dropped onto a bench close to the pens and stretched his leg out in front of him, massaging it to ease the cramp that had come up.
Sweetpea whinnied at him, her head hanging over the stall as if asking him what he was still doing there.
“I know, Sweetpea. I want to go back to the house, but I need to take a moment,” he said, thinking aloud. “Need to figure out where I’m going.”
This netted him a faint snort.
“Don’t mock me,” he said. “I can’t just jump into this. Chloe is a wonderful person and she deserves the best. I just don’t know if that’s me.”
Sweetpea just stared at him.
“Plus I’ve got this ranch and Ben and Mamie...” He felt the weight of each of these obligations, yet even as he listed them he kept thinking about Chloe.
He pulled in a long, slow breath, letting his mind settle, thinking about what she had told him last night. How God welcomed him and his questions.
“I don’t know what to do, Lord,” he prayed. “I have lots of things I want to ask You about. Things I saw and experienced that I don’t know the answers to.”
He stopped, feeling a bit foolish, but at the same time feeling a gentle peace surround him.
“I used to be able to talk to You more easily. But I felt as if You didn’t listen or didn’t care.” As he spoke the words aloud, it was as if he heard them for what they were. A lie.
“I guess I know You care. I just wish I could get some direction. Especially now. With Chloe. I feel as if I’m not strong enough to do this.”
My hope is only in You, Lord, my solid cornerstone, my strength when I am weak, my help when I’m alone. The words of the song they’d sung last Sunday sifted into his mind.
Maybe he was trying to do too much on his own. Maybe he had to put more of his hope in the Lord.
“Help me to put my life in Your hands, Lord,” he prayed. “Help me to put my growing relationship with Chloe there, as well.”
He sat a few seconds longer as if to let the prayer soak into his being and returned to the house.
* * *
“One final set of stretches and we’re done,” Chloe said as Grady slowly got off the
exercise bike. His range of motion was still restricted, but Chloe could tell that, given time, he would regain more mobility. Maybe not as much as before, but enough to resume most of his former tasks.
“I think I need some encouragement,” Grady said, rolling his neck.
“Like what?” she asked, with a teasing smile.
When Grady had come down to the exercise room this morning, he had greeted her with a kiss as natural as breathing. As if they had been dating for months instead of just getting to know each other now.
“I think I could use another kiss,” he teased, catching her hand and pulling her close.
Chloe felt her cheeks warm, but she laughed and brushed a kiss over his mouth.
“Oh, c’mon, we’re not in junior high.” He draped his other hand around her neck and drew her closer yet. His kiss was warm and it gave her exactly the right little thrill.
She pulled back, unable to stop smiling. This morning at breakfast she and Grady had sat side by side, their hands twined together under the table. Mamie had sat across from them looking quite self-satisfied and healthy. Once again Chloe doubted her story about how ill she felt, but she wasn’t about to challenge her. She had guessed Mamie had ulterior motives for hiring her in the first place, but right about now, she didn’t care.
“Does that help?”
“Immensely,” he said. “Now what am I supposed to do?”
“Lie down, arms beside you, and I’ll tell you.” She walked him through the series, correcting his movements as he worked. “Just make sure you don’t push too hard,” Chloe warned as he completed the last set. “You don’t want to strain your muscles and put yourself back.”
“Guess I just want to get better quick.” Grady finished, then dropped onto his back on the exercise mat, one arm flung over his eyes. “I’m an impatient man.”
“That could be a detriment,” Chloe said, kneeling beside him. “Patience is the main ingredient in any therapy program.”
“You always have an answer,” he groaned as she twisted his leg just enough to stretch the calf muscles.
“We get an app when we graduate that we put on our smartphones as well as a book that matches comment to complaint,” she said, settling back on her haunches while Grady rolled over and got to his feet. He wavered as he reached for his crutch, but she didn’t help him, knowing how independent he was. As long as it didn’t look as though he would fall she knew enough to leave him alone. “I’ve used it many times with some of my more reluctant clients.”
“You’ve had clients more reluctant than me?”
“Oh, yes,” she said with a definite nod. “There are more people who don’t like to acknowledge they need help.”
“It’s hard,” he said. “I think I was dealing with false pride.” He gave her a sheepish smile. “I didn’t want to admit in front of you that I wasn’t as strong as I used to be. That I was weak.”
“I’ve always thought that it takes great strength of character for anyone to recognize honestly what they can and can’t do.” She gave him an encouraging smile. “Some take longer than others, but you did come to that point, and I think that’s honorable and manly.”
“I think what I struggled with most was I felt I wasn’t the man I used to be.”
“None of us are what we used to be,” she said, cleaning up the equipment she had used today with a spray bottle. “We’ve both come through our lives with wounds, mental as well as physical.”
“What wounds do you carry?”
Her heart suddenly felt as though it was pushing heavily against her chest, filling it with its racing beat. She took a slow breath. She had put this off too long. It was time to tell him the truth. She clutched the bottle, her back to him, steadying her breath, readying herself. But the sound of the baby crying broke into the moment.
Chloe spun around just as Mamie came into the room holding a red-faced, screaming Cody, whose cries filled the room. “I’m sorry, Chloe. I don’t know what’s wrong with him. He just woke up. I know he’s supposed to be sleeping a bit longer.”
“No need to be sorry,” Chloe said, hurrying to take the squalling infant from her. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there to help.”
“Working with Grady is as much your job as taking care of this little one,” Mamie said, handing Cody over. “So you have nothing to apologize for.”
Chloe settled Cody against her, rocking him, shushing him, stroking his warm, damp head. Immediately his cries eased into hiccups and he lay his head against her shoulder.
“You certainly have a way with him,” Mamie said with admiration. “A natural mother.”
It was a simple, innocent comment, but it was a reminder of what she had yet to tell Grady.
Not yet, she thought. Not yet. She didn’t want anything to upset what was happening between them. Part of her felt dishonest, but she simply wanted the ordinary time of being with Grady without all the complications that would come with her news. She knew things were growing, moving to a serious, solid place. She just wanted them both to have their footing before she created more instability.
Isn’t that a bit self-serving?
Chloe stifled that unrelenting voice. It wasn’t selfish, she reasoned. It was practical.
“I’ll go take care of Cody,” Chloe said, turning to Grady. “You’re okay for now?”
He gave her a discreet wink. “More than okay.”
Chloe blushed again. Tucking Cody against her, she turned and followed Mamie up the stairs. She sensed that the older woman wanted to say something, but Chloe wasn’t ready to bring out into the cold light of day what was growing between her and Grady. It was so new, so tender. Something she had yearned for, for so many years, and she was afraid too much dissemination could destroy its fragile fabric.
So she just kept going up, bringing Cody to the nursery. She lay the little boy on the changing table, smiling at him as he gave her a drooling grin, his cupid’s-bow lips glistening.
“You are a little stinker, aren’t you?” she cooed as she took off his pants and changed his diaper. He had a rash, which, Chloe suspected, had woken him in the first place.
Outside, the storm, which hadn’t abated since it had begun, roared on, pelting the window with snow mixed with rain. Chloe felt safe in this place. Centered. As though this was where she was meant to be.
She got Cody cleaned up, then sat in the rocking chair in one corner of the nursery cuddling him and trying to ease him into sleep. His warm body melted against hers and she felt a flush of maternal joy. What would it be like to hold her own baby?
Her heart clenched at the thought. Where would she be when that happened? Here? With Grady?
Somewhere else?
Help me, Lord, she prayed, fear wrapping an icy fist around her heart. Help me to do the right thing. To find the right time to tell him. Please help Grady to understand.
The thought that he might not was too difficult to contemplate. For the first time in her life she felt as if the boundaries of her life were falling into pleasant places. She was back in Little Horn, and the man she had spun so many dreams around had kissed her. Had told her how much she meant to him.
Did she dare disrupt that?
You’ll have to sooner than later. You can’t hide that pregnancy forever.
“Please help him understand,” she prayed aloud, holding Cody even closer, feeling sorry for this poor child who didn’t know his mother and whose father was still unconscious. “And be with Ben,” she continued. “Please return him to this family.”
She eased out a gentle sigh, rocking the little baby, singing to him and her own child at the same time.
From below she heard Grady and Mamie’s murmured conversation, then the sound of the shower running. The ordinary sounds of a household. A home.
Cody finally fell asleep and Chloe laid
him gently in his crib, stroking the little one’s downy head. “Sleep tight, little one. May God watch over you,” she whispered.
And me, as well, she added.
She left the room, gently closing the door behind her. When she arrived downstairs she saw Mamie pulling out her bread pans.
“Here, let me do that,” Chloe said, hurrying over to her side. “You rest. You’re still recuperating, I’m sure. Did you want some tea?”
“Yes of course. Tea would be lovely,” Mamie said hurriedly, dropping onto a nearby stool and sighing as if she had to remind herself how ill she was supposed to be. Chloe stifled a smile.
Chloe plugged in the electric kettle and looked out the window over the yard. She could barely see the barn through the storm and once again was thankful she didn’t have to go outside. Thankful for this place of shelter and refuge.
She looked over the bread recipe, humming as she gathered the ingredients.
“You seem happy,” Mamie said as the water began to boil.
“I guess I am,” Chloe said, her cheeks flushing as she guessed that Mamie knew exactly what the reason for her lighthearted attitude was.
“So does Grady. Not only that, he seems content. Something I haven’t seen in him for a while.”
Chloe felt the weight of that statement, as if Mamie was hinting that she might be the reason for that.
“I’m glad. He’s making decent progress. Of course, we’ve only just started, but he’s determined to do well, and that means he probably will. It took a while to convince him, but I think he’s motivated now.”
“Of course he is,” Mamie said with a smug tone. “He has the best reason in the world to improve himself now.”
Chloe wasn’t sure what to say to that leading statement.
“I know my grandson may not always be the most cooperative,” Mamie said. “But he’s a good man.”
Chloe looked over at her, realizing that Mamie knew exactly what had been going on.
“He is,” Chloe agreed. “The best.”
This was exactly the right answer, judging from Mamie’s smug look.
When the water boiled Chloe made tea, poured a cup for Mamie and herself and returned to mixing up the ingredients. The yeast had soaked long enough and she could add the rest. Thankfully Mamie found a magazine and paged through it as she drank her tea, not saying anything more and leaving Chloe to work in quiet. As she cracked eggs and added oil to the bread dough, Chloe felt a curious peace slip over her. It had been years since she had done any baking. Jeremy had been seldom at home to eat it and when she had attended school, she hadn’t had time.
Love Inspired January 2016, Box Set 1 of 2 Page 13
