by Marie Force
“But eventually you had to go back.”
“Uh huh, and everyone looked at me differently. That was the start of people thinking I was easy.”
“It’s just so unfair,” he said, pained for the defenseless girl who had been betrayed by someone she considered a friend.
“Since then I’ve never known if a guy was interested in me or in them, you know?”
“I can imagine.”
“It got worse in high school. The boys were all over me, and the other girls hated me because I was so popular with the guys.”
“Sounds like it was lonely for you.”
“It was. After awhile, I got sick of being alone all the time and decided to go out with one of them.”
“How’d that go?”
“Just like I expected—him constantly trying to cop a feel and me constantly fending him off. After a while, he got pissed. He said he’d treated me well and it was time for me to return the favor.”
“What the heck did that mean?”
“He demanded I have sex with him.”
“How old were you?”
“Fifteen.”
“Jesus,” he whispered. “What’d you do?”
“I refused, because by then just being around him made me sick. He got so mad. For a few minutes, I thought he was going to hit me or something.”
“Tell me he didn’t—”
“No, but it might’ve been better if he had. Instead, he went to school the next day, told everyone I’d done him and all his friends on the beach the night before, and the Maddie Mattress nickname was born.”
Mac wanted to weep. “And none of the other guys spoke up to say it wasn’t true? No one?”
“They wouldn’t have dared to contradict him.”
“Who was he?” Mac’s chest contracted with familiar pains, but that was the least of his worries at the moment.
“I’m sure you don’t know him. . .”
“Who was he?” He made an effort to keep his voice down when he wanted to roar.
“Darren Tuttle.”
A sharp pain took Mac’s breath away. “He was my brother Evan’s friend.”
“Yes.”
Mac’s hand rolled into a fist. “Did he name my brother as one of the guys who was there that night?”
Maddie’s silence answered for her.
“And he didn’t deny it?”
“None of them did.”
“I’ll kill him.”
“Mac, really, it was a long time ago. It doesn’t matter now.”
“It does matter! Those rumors ruined your life.”
“It was my fault for sticking around here after high school. I should’ve gone somewhere else as soon as I was old enough, but money was always an issue, and I couldn’t leave my mother. Believe it or not, she has it in her head that she needs to be here in case my father comes back.”
“Nothing about this is your fault, Maddie. Nothing.”
“You’re supposed to be relaxing, not getting all upset.”
Mac was so far beyond upset he wasn’t even sure what to call it. “Who is Thomas’s father?”
He could almost hear her thinking and deciding.
“Tell me.”
After another long pause, she said, “He was a guest at the hotel two winters ago. He was writing a book, and we got to be friends. One thing led to another. . .”
“Was he the first one, you know. . .”
“First and only.”
Mac released a long deep breath. How could she say that what Darren Tuttle and his friends did to her hadn’t ruined her life? She was twenty-eight the first time she had sex. “What happened with him?”
“He was ten years older than me. He told me he’d had a vasectomy years ago because he didn’t want kids. I stupidly fell for that, thinking we had something special.”
Mac wanted to cover his ears so he wouldn’t have to hear about yet another terrible hurt.
“We were together twice before he texted me to say he had to get back to the mainland to take care of some business, but it’d been nice knowing me. He’d been gone three weeks when I realized I was pregnant.”
“That bastard.”
“I don’t regret it. Thomas is the best thing to ever happen to me. I love him more than anything.”
“His father should be helping you. Financially, at least.”
“I’d never want him to know. What if he came back and tried to take Thomas from me? I’ll never tell him.”
So the woman everyone thought of as the town tramp had had sex exactly twice in her life. Mac churned with things he wished he could say and anger he didn’t know what to do with. He wanted to find all the men who’d harmed her, starting with her deadbeat father, and pummel them until they hurt the way she had. Even that, however, wouldn’t be enough. It would only be half of what they deserved.
“What’re you thinking?” she asked tentatively. “You’re so quiet.”
Mac made an effort to keep the fury out of his voice. That wasn’t what she needed from him after sharing secrets he suspected she probably hadn’t shared with anyone but her sister. “You’re one of the bravest people I’ve ever known, and I’m honored you told me all this.”
“I’m not what they think I am.”
Her quiet dignity affected him more than anything else. “I already knew that.”
“I didn’t want to like you. You’re Evan McCarthy’s brother and Linda’s son. But you’re not like them. You’re so much better.”
“Thank you, honey,” he said, his voice hoarse with emotions he’d never felt quite so strongly before. That she had trusted him with her deepest secrets was one of the best gifts he’d ever received. He reached up for her hand and laced his fingers through hers. “I wish I could take a big broom and sweep away all the old hurts.”
“You’re sweet to want to.”
“I really wish I could.”
“No one’s ever wanted to do anything like that for me before.”
“That’s too bad. You deserve to be happy.”
She squeezed his hand. “I told you all my stuff. Now you have to tell me some of yours.”
In an effort to lighten the mood, Mac regaled her with funny stories of growing up with three brothers and a sister that made her laugh, and he swore he made her cry when he told her about the injury that ended his professional baseball aspirations. As she continued to hold his hand, she asked about the women he’d dated, and he told her. After what she’d shared with him, keeping secrets from her—any secrets—just seemed foolish. By the time they ran out of conversation, the first hints of daylight were peeking through the windows, and his arm had fallen asleep hours ago, but still he held her hand.
He’d never felt more energized by a sleepless night.
Maddie couldn’t find Thomas. He wasn’t in his crib or at Tiffany’s. She ran through the yard screaming for help, tears streaming down her face. Someone had taken him from her. The one person she truly loved. She screamed for him again and fought the hands that tried to stop her from running down the street.
“Maddie. Honey, you’re dreaming. Wake up.”
Mac. All at once, she was fully awake with sickening pain radiating from her knee and arm. He sat on the edge of her bed, brushing the hair off her face.
“Thomas,” she said, her voice rough with sleep and fear.
“He’s sleeping in his crib.”
“Will you make sure? Please?”
“Of course.”
While he was gone, Maddie tried to calm her racing heart and shaking hands. Only a dream. Only a dream.
“He’s fine,” Mac reported. “Sound asleep.” He returned to sit once again on the side of the bed. “Are you all right?”
“Yeah. Just a crazy dream.”
“You seem to have a lot of those.”
“Always have. Some are better than others.” She recalled the dream about him the previous afternoon. That had been a good one.
He took her hand. “You’re shaking.
”
“It was scary.”
“Want to talk about it?”
“No. Thank you.”
“Scoot over.”
“Excuse me?”
“You heard me.” He nudged her with his hip. “Come on.”
She moved to the far side of the bed and then gasped when it dipped under his weight. “W-what’re you doing?”
“This.” He slid his arm under her and carefully brought her into his embrace, making sure to accommodate her injured arm and leg. By the time he had her all arranged, her face was pressed to his chest, and he held her snugly against him. Maddie couldn’t breathe from being this close to him, and she had nowhere to rest her sore hand but on his firm belly.
Brushing a kiss over her hair, he said, “Go back to sleep.”
Um, yeah. Sure. With her senses overwhelmed by his sporty scent, the feel of his soft chest hair under her cheek, and his hand caressing her back—how did he expect her to sleep?
“It’s okay, Maddie. Nothing will happen to you or Thomas while I’m here. I promise.”
How could he know that was exactly what she needed to hear right then? That nothing he could’ve said would have meant more to her? Tears leaked from her closed eyes. She was so tired—and not just from the sleepless night. The heavy weight of responsibility resting on her fragile shoulders was enough sometimes to make her buckle under the strain. Now here was this man wanting to make it all better—even if just for a little while—and it was so very tempting to let him. Tomorrow she’d get back to fighting him off. For right now, it felt too good to be held by him to think about fighting. She sank into Mac’s embrace and absorbed the comfort he so willingly offered.
Mac didn’t dare move. He’d had no idea how overwhelming it would be to hold her like this, to have her soft, fragrant hair brushing against his face, to have her body yield trustingly into his, and yes, to have her breasts pressed to his side. . . If she moved, even the slightest bit, she’d be able to feel what her closeness had done to him. So Mac focused on breathing the way the doctor had taught him—in through the nose, out through the mouth.
“Does your chest hurt?” Her breath fanning his heated skin only added to the problem in his lap.
“No.”
“Why are you breathing like that? Does something else hurt?”
Mac chuckled. She was so cute. “Nothing that’ll kill me.”
After a long pause, she suddenly got it. Gasping, she began to move away from him.
He tightened his hold on her. “Stay. Please. I love holding you like this, but I can’t help that having you so close turns me on.”
“Oh.”
In the waning darkness, he smiled. The innocent way she always said that single word was adorable—as if it was a huge surprise to her that she turned him on. She had no idea what she did to him, but apparently she intended to find out. Her injured hand moved from his belly to his face, her fingers caressing his jaw. Mac swore his heart stopped while he waited to see what she would do next. “Maddie. . .”
“Hmm?”
“What’re you doing?”
“Touching you.”
Jesus. Kill me now. He’d never been more painfully erect in his life. “Honey, you’re going to be tired tomorrow—or I guess I should say today.”
“S’okay. I’ve got someone covering for me at work.”
He laughed. “Poor sucker.”
“Mmm.” Her fingers moved to his mouth, smoothing over his bottom lip in a light caress that once again stopped his heart.
Releasing a tortured groan, he held her tighter while being mindful of her injuries. They didn’t seem to be bothering her at the moment.
“You’re so handsome,” she whispered.
Startled by the unexpected compliment, he cleared his throat. “Is that so?”
“Sure,” she said, laughing. “Like you don’t know.”
“I had no idea until this very minute.”
She poked his ribs, making him startle and then laugh again. “You’re so full of it.”
Brushing a soft kiss over her lips, he studied her face for a long time. “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known.”
“That can’t possibly be true.”
He stopped her from looking away and forced her to meet his gaze. “It’s absolutely true.”
Her fingers skimmed over his chest to his belly, which quivered under her tentative touch. Mac inhaled sharply as he reached out to stop her wandering hand. “Sleep.” Glancing at his watch, he discovered it was after five. For a long time, he lay there listening to the bleat of a foghorn and squawking seagulls before he finally fell into a deep sleep.
Thomas’s crib chatter woke Mac at six thirty. His eyes were gritty from lack of sleep, but when he remembered the night he’d spent with Maddie, he was filled with energy and renewed determination to take care of her and Thomas. He moved slowly to extricate himself from her embrace without waking her. Pressing a kiss to her forehead, he brought the sheet up over her and went to find the baby bouncing in his crib.
Thomas let out a happy squeal when he saw Mac.
“Hey, buddy,” Mac whispered. “You’re up early.” Mac scooped him up and carried him to the changing table where he removed what felt like a twenty-pound diaper. Amazing to think that just yesterday he’d never changed a diaper before, and now he handled the squirming baby like an expert—and didn’t mind doing it. That was the odd part. He, Mac McCarthy, commitment-phobe and bachelor extraordinaire, was taking care of a baby and liking it.
“You and your mother have done quite a number on me, mister,” he told the baby.
Thomas rewarded him with a smile full of new baby teeth and a good dose of drool. What a cutie.
Mac changed him into a clean all-in-one shirt contraption that snapped between his legs and picked him up.
Thomas grabbed a handful of Mac’s chest hair and gave a healthy yank, bringing tears to Mac’s eyes. “Yikes,” he said. “No no. That hurts.”
Thomas’s mischievous smile made Mac laugh. “You’re a devil, aren’t you? What’d you say we let Mom sleep a while and take a walk?”
When the baby seemed to approve of the plan, Mac put him back in the crib for a few minutes so he could get ready. They snuck out of the apartment a short time later. Mac debated taking the stroller that was parked under the stairs but decided he’d rather carry the baby.
In town, workers swept and washed the sidewalks in front of the various establishments. Shopkeepers carted samples of their wares to the street and rolled back awnings. Mac and Thomas wandered down to the ferry landing where Captain Joe supervised the loading of a fuel truck onto one of the smaller ferries.
“Whoa, dude,” Joe said when he saw Mac carrying the baby. “You work fast!”
“Very funny.”
Joe toyed with Thomas’s pudgy foot, earning a squeal from the baby. “Who’ve you got there?”
“This is Thomas. My friend Maddie’s baby.”
“And how long, exactly, has Maddie been your ‘friend’?”
“Since I knocked her off her bike about ten minutes after I left you yesterday.”
“Awww, and now you’ve got yourself a little family. Isn’t that sweet?”
“It’s not like that.” But wasn’t it? “Exactly.”
Joe barked with laughter and tugged cigarettes from his shirt pocket.
“You can’t smoke in front of the baby,” Mac said.
“Wow, look at you. All paternal and everything. Never thought I’d see the day.”
“If you’re quite finished, Thomas and I are going to grab some coffee. Want to join us?”
“He’s kind of young for coffee, isn’t he?”
Mac shot him a withering look.
Joe checked his watch. “Yeah, I’ve got some time. My first run isn’t until eight.” He hollered for someone to take over for him and walked with Mac and Thomas up the hill to the South Harbor Diner. When Mac walked in with Thomas in his arms, everything came to a
halt in the small restaurant, and every eye in the room landed on him.
“Morning, everyone,” Mac said.
Murmured greetings followed as Mac and Joe slid into a booth.
“Jeez, man, you’ve got the whole town buzzing,” Joe said.
“Apparently.”
Mac told Joe about what’d happened since yesterday while sharing tiny bites of his corn muffin with Thomas. If the boy’s bouncing antics were any indication, he loved the treat. Before long, the muffin was a pulverized mess of crumbs that Mac scrambled to contain. The kid moved fast!
“You know what people say about her, don’t you?” Joe asked tentatively after hearing Mac’s story.
“It’s not true, Joe.” He told his friend what Darren Tuttle and the other boys, including Evan, had done to her.
Joe swore under his breath. “God, that’s horrible.” He leveled a steady look at Mac across the table. “What’re you gonna do about it?”
Mac appreciated that his old friend knew him so well. “Haven’t decided yet. But I plan to have a chat with my brother. Soon.”
“Tuttle owns an auto body shop out on Sunflower Road.”
“Good to know.”
“He’s still as much of a jerk as he was in school.”
“Also good to know.”
“That’s one cute baby,” Joe said a bit wistfully.
“He really is.”
“You’re getting kind of involved here, huh?”
“I think maybe I am.” It still amazed Mac to realize all that had happened in the last twenty-four hours. “There’s something about her that just gets to me. I can’t explain it.”
Joe shrugged. “Happens to the best of us.”
Mac knew he was referring to his feelings for Janey. After spending time with Maddie, he had a new appreciation for what it would be like to want someone who didn’t return the sentiment. That thought struck a chord of fear in Mac. Suddenly, he needed to get back to her. He needed to see her, to reassure himself that what they’d shared during the long night had started them down a path toward something important.
“I need to get Thomas back to his mom,” Mac said, tossing some bills on the table. “Give me a ring when you have time to kill.”
Joe raised an eyebrow as his lips quirked with amusement. “Sticking around for a while, are you?”
