by Kay, Jenna
She listened intently with not one ounce of skepticism in her expression.
“What do you think so far?” I asked, wanting a breather. “Am I crazy or what?”
“From what I've heard there's a new boy in town, who sounds extremely hawt, and he's gotten you under his spell. Which, let me remind you that you have a boyfriend who worships the ground ya walk on—!”
“Stop right there,” I interjected fiercely. “I never said I wanted to be involved romantically with him.”
She nodded. “Okay, fine. Brenton is still your number one guy. But nothing of what you just told me explains why you have those dorky gloves on today, and why I was looking at something that wasn't there on your hands.”
“I was getting to that,” I pointed out aggravatingly. “You see, last night I had this crazy dream...”
Before I could explain and tell her about the dream, the late bell rang, springing Kora into a frenzied action.
“Holy crap!” Kora screamed, grabbing my hand. “C'mon, we're gonna totally be late. You can tell me your wild, kinky sex dream involving Brenton and new-guy Sam later.”
“Did you even hear a word I said?” I asked as she pulled me out of the restroom. “This has absolutely nothing to do with sex.”
“Yeah, riiight!” she teased, dragging me down the already emptied hall.
“You didn't listen to me at all, did ya?”
“Yes, I so did,” she declared in a hushed whisper. “And I wanna meet this Sam guy who makes ya feel all calm and secure.” She wiggled her brows at me.
As she opened the door I said, “You're a hopeless gutter head, ya know that?” Really, it was me feeling like a hopeless gutter head, since I had realized Kora could not see what was so “in her face” on my hands.
She stuck her tongue out at me as we walked into the classroom, where all the students were quietly seated with the teacher loudly speaking.
Of course, in front of all the students, we were reprimanded by the sourest of all teachers. We received a warning, and then were allowed to take our seats.
Passing Daria's crew on the front row we were bombarded with sneers, cruel laughter, and eye rolls. I think I heard the words “losers” and “hos”, but I couldn't be sure. I was too caught up in my problems, not for sure that I was living in reality. I mean, really! How many teenagers wake up to find out they have tattoos on their hands that no one else can see?
Before I sat down, Brenton threw me one of his famous dimpled smiles, the ones that make my body tingle all over. Not wanting to make him feel bad I forced myself to smile back, though it was tough for me. My face had been set in a tight frown for the past few hours, and the muscles in my face fought the smile all the way.
All through class my mind wandered. History was not the best subject first thing in the morning, especially for those who don't do mornings.
Eventually I got tired of my chin slipping off my hand, wanting so badly to crash and fall on the desk, so I settled for tuning out the teachers rambling altogether. Instead of listening about the Aztecs, my gaze flickered to the window.
The sun lit up the brown and green speckled grass, the leaves on the trees already showing sign that fall was on its way. Birds of every color were flying and pecking the ground. Some seemed to be dancing with each other—or maybe they were just fighting over crumbs. I was totally not a bird watcher, but that was more entertaining than listening to the monotonous voice of the teacher.
Squirrels were in the middle of the birds, most likely gathering nuts for the winter time. I watched the squirrels grab some nuts in their little mouths, crawl up to their little homes to store them, and then crawl back down to do the same thing over and over again. I'd always found it funny the way animals instinctively knew that a change was coming, where humans had no idea about a change until it was too late. Your life could be perfectly right one day, and then totally undone the next. It wasn't exactly what I would call fair, but that was how life was—a big puddle of unfairness.
Sort of like waking up to a burning feeling in your hands, seeing weird tattoos on your palms, and then finding out that your best friend, and possibly everyone else, couldn't see them, making you feel like you were insane. Like it was time to reserve your room at the local nuthouse.
Sort of like meeting a stranger who makes you feel more secure than you've ever felt in your whole life, and that stranger harboring some weird powers that you can't explain, and also that stranger being there one second, then vanishing the next.
One straightjacket for Clarity Miller, please!
I was so interlaced in my repugnant thoughts that I almost didn't see Sam. It wasn't a situation to where I was able to see him coming, since he'd appeared out of nowhere. I shifted in my seat, wanting to get up and leave the room. But I'd already been late, and it being the second day of school, I didn't want to push my luck. Besides, the teacher was a big dill weed.
My heart was pounding in my chest, so hard it hurt; so hard I was afraid others around me could hear it.
There was Sam, sitting on the highest branch of the only oak tree on school property. Sitting exactly where I had been watching squirrels just a few minutes before. His eyes were staring right at me, his legs dangling under the branch. He smiled and even from where I was sitting, it took my breath away it was so beautiful—he was so beautiful.
How had he gotten so high up in that tree? No one could reach the limbs, the tree being massively huge! And how did he know I would be sitting here looking out the window?
There I went again, letting my thoughts get blended together in a bowl of confused pity.
I wanted to get Kora's attention, motion for her to look, but I couldn't make myself do it. I was afraid if I looked away he'd be gone again. Warmth covered my tired flesh. A smile crossed my face, knowing full well that what I was feeling was coming from him. How was he able to do it? Don't know, don't care, because however he was able to warm me all the way to my bones, I didn't want it to stop.
The rage I'd felt earlier had melted along with my heart, and for the briefest of moments, I forgot about the tattoos on my hands.
Then he started talking to me, but not with his mouth—his smile never wavered or moved.
Be patient and don't be afraid, his voice purred inside my head, causing little shivers to dance down my spine. You will understand soon. Always remember...I am where you are. Then, in one blink, he was gone, taking his loving warmth with him. I sank down low in my seat, sleep wanting to take control over my drowsy body, but my thoughts kept me awake.
In my head he had told me to be patient and to not to be afraid. In my head! Anyway, that was easier said than done. Also the whole “understand soon” thing would test my patience big time.
I am where you are. Those five words should have made me feel better, but they didn't. Instead I felt more alone and more confused than ever, leaving me a hollow shell of my former self.
If understanding did not show up soon, I would be getting fitted for a straight jacket sooner than I previously thought.
Chapter Seven
A shift in the weather began to change Garlandton, the residents of the sleepy town happily receiving Fall with open arms. The leaves on the trees were mixtures of yellows, reds, oranges, and browns. Sunflowers were in full bloom, making the normally drab town a bit brighter. Churches held their annual bake sales and fundraisers, while the town council was busy planning Fall festivals and concerts, in hopes of bringing a little tourism to this desolate part of south Georgia.
Usually I'm excited this time of year, because Fall is my favorite season. But this year is different. This year I've got too many obscured thoughts running in different directions inside my mind, wrecking my brain.
Six weeks had passed, and it was now the middle of October.
Six weeks...and no sign of Sam.
Six weeks...and the tattoos were still on my hands, tattoos that nobody but me could see.
The morning I had taken my gloves off, which just happ
ened to be the same morning I'd put them on, was charred into my memory. I had taken them off because there was no point in drawing attention to my hands when there was nothing special going on.
After showing (or trying to show) Kora the tattoos and realizing she couldn't see them left me fighting for my sanity. Every morning I would wake up, and first thing, look at my hands. Every morning disappointment consumed me, my sanity slipping a little more, any rational thoughts I'd had disappearing into a cold, gray mist.
Then my thoughts would take another path, going back to where this whole mess began. The real reason to why I'd started questioning if I was living in the real world: Sam.
Where was he? The last time I'd seen him was in the oak tree outside my classroom window, sitting on the highest branch. The last time I'd heard his voice was inside my head, as he sat on the tree branch.
Be patient and don't be afraid. You will understand soon.
Yeah, obviously not soon enough.
First of all, Sam being able to speak directly into my head was freaking weird. Second of all, Sam appearing and disappearing right in front of my eyes was freaking weird.
And third of all...where in the heck was he?
I am where you are.
Yeah. Right. Whatever.
If he was where I was, I think I would have known it. Maybe like being able to see him with my own eyes. With each passing day, I'd wait, wishing Sam would show up and help me make sense of my life, and to tell me what else was coming. For reasons I couldn't explain, I had this overwhelming feeling that something big was about to happen, and that Sam knew what it was.
To my discouragement, Sam never showed. As I had predicted, my patience was wearing down to a thin line, and I felt weighed down like a ton of bricks had been strapped to my back.
Also to add to my offbeat, complicated mess of a life, Kora decided to launch a relationship with shy farm-boy Kevin just days after dumping Nick. What made me the most nervous about the whole crazy situation was how easily Kora was able to wipe Nick completely out of her memory, like they'd never been involved with one another.
Okay, yeah, so the whole Kora/Kevin/Nick scene didn't affect my life directly, but I would have been a lousy bestie if I hadn't worry over her making a huge mistake by diving into a whole new relationship. But none of it was my business because it was their lives. And really, I shouldn't worry so much about Kora moving on too fast because Kevin was a church boy who never drank, smoked, or had sex. Kora on the other hand did...it...all.
Oh, yeah, speaking of sex and relationships, there's the topic of Brenton and me. As we spent more time together, alone, it was becoming evident that we were about to cross the point of no return. I hated to say it, but we were becoming a little like Casey and Janey, the way they act like they can't keep their hands off each other.
That's exactly how I was feeling around Brenton—I wanted, no, needed his hands on me every time we were together, and I was sure he needed my hands on him. When we were together everything seemed so happy and bright, and being with him made all my problems dissolve, the biggest problem being my tattooed hands. For just a little awhile I forgot everything but me and him.
Of course with all my problems, questions, worries, insecurities, and my sanity hanging in the balance, I had learned to live behind a mask of perfection, acting as if everything in my life was normal and peachy.
Yeah. Peachy as a pile of crap.
So now, on this beautiful Friday afternoon, I was sitting in the cafeteria with my Brenton and daydreaming on things to come, until Kora sat down, breaking me from my extremely hopeful reverie (AKA dirty thoughts involving Brenton). Yeah, I was turning into a gutter head!
“Ugh! They call this food? It looks like rat barf.” Kora dropped her tray of food onto the table, plopping down in the seat across from me, sitting next to her beau, Kevin. “I'd rather open up a can of dog food.”
Everyday that was the start of our lunch conversations, about how nasty and inedible the school food was. Most days I brought my own lunch, but today I had woken too late to prepare it. Luckily it was Friday, the day they changed out all the wilted and mushy crap from the salad bar. Kora never ate salads, so today she had to choose between a cheeseburger and some kind of helper. She had chosen the helper, which did have a throw-up appearance.
“The dog food was in between the cow tongues and pickled pigs feet,” Brenton commented, slyly resting his hand on my knee.
“Come on, guys,” I said, placing my hand on top of his. “The food isn't that bad.” I was a terrible liar.
Kora sneered. “Clarity, I'd eat my own puke before I'd eat this garbage.” She pushed her tray to the side, and then leaned her elbows on the table.
I groaned, my brows creasing. “That's so...eeeewwww.” I pushed my salad away, suddenly losing my appetite.
“Wow,” remarked Kevin, giving Kora a disgusted look. “Yeah, gonna agree with Clarity on that one, babe.” Six weeks as a couple and they were already at the “babe” stage of their relationship.
Brenton looked at Kora thoughtfully. “Kora, just a question,” he paused to swallow his food. “Have you ever eaten your own puke?”
“What? Like, on a dare or somethin'?”
“OK, OK, OK,” I intervened, throwing a hand in the air. My stomach was knotted with queasiness. “Please stop talking about puke and eating it.” I rubbed my belly, trying to stop it from rolling.
“Yeah, Kora,” Brenton spat out, his expression aghast. “I mean, really! We're eating lunch here, geez!”
I laughed at him as he glared at Kora open-mouthed, rolling his eyes.
“What?” Kora slammed her hands on the table. “You're the one who started it, ya jerk!”
Brenton laughed and shook his head. “Hey, hey. Just foolin' ya.” He looked at me and winked.
“One day your mouth is gonna get a poppin',” I told him, only half-joking.
He leaned forward, touching my nose with his. “As long as it's you doing the poppin'.” He smiled lasciviously, causing a shudder to flow down my spine.
“Oh, gross,” Kora lamented, her eyes sliding to Kevin. “Someone needs to tell them to get a room, right?”
Kevin, showing his shy-boy side, turned as bright red as the sun. I lolled my head to the side, shooting her an evil look.
“Anyway,” Kora continued, “if you guys are done nosing each other, Kevin and I are goin' bowling tonight, you guys interested?” Kora eyed me eagerly.
“What, like a double?” I instantly regretted the question when I saw the look on Kora's face.
She shook her head. “No, like, DUH!” she retorted cattily, crossing her eyes. “Of course like a double, ya moron! So, y'all in or out?”
I looked at Brenton and saw that he was smiling. Of course he wanted to go bowling. He had no idea that I'd planned to invite him into my house...alone. That was the biggest thought in my brain all day, getting that sexy, incredible guy into my bed, but my plan was quickly dissolving when he smiled over at Kevin and Kora.
“Sure,” he said, answering for the both of us. “We'll go. Alright with you, Clare?”
I shrugged, trying to appear indifferent about the whole thing. “Yeah, sure.”
“Great!” Kora expressed with a smile as bright as the sun. “We'll meet you guys there around seven.”
“It's a date,” I said warily.
I looked to Brenton and he was engaged in a conversation with Kevin, talking about their best bowling scores. Not wanting to bring them down, I bit my lip from saying anything. I knew who had the best score out of this foursome—me.
Growing up, bowling had been one of my favorite past times. Bowling with my dad. He had been an excellent bowler, being on several leagues, winning many championships. I had one of his trophies stashed away deep in my closet. He'd taught me all of his tricks to being an accomplished bowler.
Changing my thoughts over from scoring in bowling to scoring with Brenton, my mind began creating a new plan. Bowling may take one to t
wo hours, and then he'd take me home, giving me a chance to invite him in. A.C. would be at work, not getting off until the morning, and from there I would play it by ear.
Man, I was starting to sound like Kora and Janey, all slutty and promiscuous. Maybe I would accomplish something tonight, erasing the big “V” from my hands forever.
* * * *
Later that evening, as I waited for my knight in shining armor, I busied myself with looking as sexy as possible. I flat-ironed my hair, applied make-up, and put on a tight red shirt that put my girls on display. The jeans I wore fit me perfectly in all the right spots, showing off my curves. Looking at my reflection in the mirror I couldn't help but smile. Not to sound vain or anything, but I looked thoroughly hot. If this body didn't get Brenton in the sack then nothing would.
Leaning into the mirror to brush a fly-away strand of hair from my face, my eyes caught sight of my palm, causing a shiver to course through my body. I frowned as I looked down at the crosses and wings on my hands. I still had no idea why they were there or how they got there in the first place, but I'd made up my mind that I wasn't going to worry a second about them tonight. Whatever they were, they were not going to ruin my life or my fun. Nobody else could see them, so why worry anyway? I wasn't even going to worry about Sam, the mysterious boy with glowing blue eyes. I hadn't seen him for weeks now so maybe he was gone forever. Nope. Not going to worry.
Tonight was going to be awesome—extremely awesome.
Hopping down the stairs, on my way to the kitchen for a bottle of water, I was surprised to see A.C. sitting at the table, drinking a cup of coffee and reading the newspaper.
“Hey,” I said as I retrieved a water from the fridge. “What ya doin' here? I thought you had to work.” At least I had hoped she was working, because if not my new plan was about to go bust.
She looked up from the paper, a tiresome smile harboring her lips. “My shift starts at eight.” She eyed me from head to toe. “Wow, you look amazing! What's the occasion?”
