FATED

by Roberts, A. S

  Fated

  A. S. Roberts

  Kindle Edition

  Version 4

  ASIN:B01AL6AK2K

  Copyright © A. S. Roberts

  All Rights Reserved Worldwide

  Any unauthorised reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form, or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without the express permission of the author.

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, organisations and places, events are either a product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or locations is entirely coincidental.

  I am an English author and write in British English.

  Image copyright©2015

  Edited by Karen J

  Proofreading by The fireball fillies

  Beta read by The fireball fillies

  Cover art by Obsessed by Books Designs

  Formatting by Stacey Mosteller

  All songs, song titles mentioned in this novel are the property of the respective songwriters and copyright holders.

  Playlist

  Chapters

  PROLOGUE

  CHAPTER ONE

  CHAPTER TWO

  CHAPTER THREE

  CHAPTER FOUR

  CHAPTER FIVE

  CHAPTER SIX

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  CHAPTER NINE

  CHAPTER TEN

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

  CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

  CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

  CHAPTER THIRTY

  CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

  CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

  CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

  CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

  CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

  CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN

  CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT

  CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE

  CHAPTER FORTY

  CHAPTER FORTY-ONE

  CHAPTER FORTY-TWO

  CHAPTER FORTY-THREE

  EPILOGUE

  Dedication

  This book is dedicated to my husband. He has stood with me every step of our journey together. Thank you for always being there, inspiring me, when others have failed to do so. I Love you and the team that we created together.

  To our boys, the loves, of my life. Let this book inspire you to follow your dreams!

  This is also dedicated to my friends, new and old. I believe in fate and always have. Thank you for helping me to create the story that has gone around in my head for years!

  From proof reading, to beta reading, teaser creation and just for simply being there, for me to ask advice off.

  You know who you are!

  Love you all x

  ‘Never love anybody, who treats you

  Like you’re ordinary’

  Oscar Wilde

  Prologue

  6 years previously

  What sort of person isn’t able to attend the funeral of their only parent of any consequence?

  Me, I was that sort of person.

  I had suffered a sort of breakdown, the doctors concurred. Emotional stress and exhaustion they called it.

  Pathetic my mother called it.

  I was standing finally on very sodden soil, constantly having to move my feet, listening to the repetitive squelching noise my black boots made in contact with the mud. I repeated the movement over and over, in order to stop them being consumed into the ground. The very ground that now held my dad. All the while, I was struggling to choke back the tears, which threatened to fall. Continuously I rubbed my hands together, to keep them warm.

  Although it was August, the weather was obviously empathetic and had the same thoughts and emotions as me. The skies continued to darken over and the rain fell in a heavy, sluggish drizzle.

  I was finally here, wrapped in a heavy coat and my own grief. Audibly sighing, my eyes ran over and over the words on the headstone.

  Michael Paul Jones

  Born 26/10/66

  Died 29/07/09

  Loving husband of Carol

  But there was no mention of me on there, his only child.

  In the world of my stepmother, I didn’t exist. She hadn’t given birth to me, so therefore I was insignificant.

  I caught my breath, trying to swallow a gulping sob. I conjured up picture memories in my head. At least he had finally managed to tell me he loved me, even if it was only the once, and on his deathbed.

  I looked up to the sky and watched the clouds travel unhurriedly overhead. Closing my eyes, the droplets fell; they hit my face and grouped together, finally running down my neck in rivulets.

  The sadness I felt was completely overwhelming.

  Never be the unwanted pregnancy of two people who hate each other’s guts, would be my advice to anyone.

  From behind me, two hands came forward. They gently rubbed up and down my arms, trying to formulate a soothing sensation

  ‘Sweetheart, you know we are here for you, don’t you?’

  The gentle voice of my aunt came through to me. I turned to her, my aunt and uncle swaddled me up in their arms. There we stood, clustered together for several minutes.

  ‘Come on, Frankie,’ I heard my cousin JJ speaking and as my aunt and uncle pulled away from me, he took their place and pulled me in tight against his side.

  ‘Let’s go home.’

  I managed a fragile smile in answer, staying as close to him as was possible, wrapping my arm tight around his waist. JJ gave me the strength I had always felt I lacked. I was so pleased he had come back from America. His presence here today meant everything to me.

  I was last to walk down the well-worn path to the front door of my aunt and uncle’s small, but very homely, terraced house. The old wooden gate shut with a bang behind us. Flexing and contracting on its very antique, rusted spring.

  ‘Frankie love.’ The raised voice of our next-door neighbour broke me out of my melancholy thoughts. I raised my eyes from the cobbled path. She came out of her front door quickly; obviously she had been awaiting our return, twitching the net curtains. Her arms were laden.

  ‘These came for you, my dear.’ She handed me a large, beautiful bouquet of mixed flowers, the colours of which seemed like a rainbow on such a wet day. Her face showed concern for my obviously distressed appearance. She ran her hand fleetingly up and down my arm.

  ‘Oh thank you, Norah’ I took the bouquet from her. Puzzled as to where they had come from, I pulled the card from the small envelope and started to read.

  A person’s strength isn’t shown by how much they can take before they break.

  A person’s strength is shown by how much they can take after they have already been broken.

  X

  On

  e

/>   Present day

  Frankie

  My sudden intake of breath awoke me with a start; both of my hands gripped the armrests. I released my fingers and flexed them over the soft, velvety material. Glancing around quickly, I checked to see if anyone had noticed.

  Please, I prayed, don’t let me have been talking out loud. Bella had often told me that I did, when sharing halls at university. With relief I realised my secret was safe, after taking another quick look around me. Everyone was either asleep or very much occupied with their own business. Thank God. I expelled a very loud sigh.

  My pulse was still preposterously fast, banging and throbbing against my eardrums like a bass drum. I breathed in slowly, just willing my body to calm down. From previous experience, I knew just what I looked like after having my favourite erotic nightmare. But in this very public place, I felt very reluctant to share the view. Placing my palms against my cheeks, I felt the heat, they were still flushed and the throbbing need between my legs was only relieved by crossing over my jean-clad thighs and squeezing them tight.

  The passing stewardess smiled at me ‘Can I get anything for you, Miss Jones?’ shaking my head I smiled back, not trusting my voice just yet. I tried to focus on the aircraft noise and not my heart rate.

  It made me feel foolish, that eighteen months on, my one and only meeting with him could still leave me feeling like this. I wasn’t a stupid teenager for Christ sake and we didn’t even have a proper conversation.

  I mean I don’t even know his real name.

  But whenever I closed my eyes his presence wrapped around me like a favourite blanket, the smell of his cologne expensive, fresh and clean, like the ocean. In mock inhalation, I closed my eyes again and settled back into the extremely comfortable first class seat, allowing myself the pleasure of reliving our only meeting, as I had hundreds of times before.

  My aunt, uncle and I had flown to California, my only other time outside of England, to attend a meeting at Coronado, a US Navy SEAL base. The memories stirred mixed feelings, harrowing and exciting, within me. We had been flown out courtesy of the US Navy to hear the verdict of an enquiry into my cousin JJ’s death.

  Continuing my train of thought, I took a deep breath and swallowed. Even now I still had difficulty believing JJ was gone.

  The wallpaper in the waiting area, outside the room where the enquiry was being held, was imprinted on my mind; heavy green flocked print, to go with the solid mahogany polished chairs that we sat on. I could still smell the lavender furniture polish, obviously overused as it was almost headache inducing. All the while we waited, for the internal enquiry to run its course.

  Thank God for the large, arch-shaped windows in the building, otherwise the room would have been as dark as the mood that surrounded everybody within it. When the enquiry finally adjourned and the servicemen filed out, my aunt and uncle were asked to enter the room. Inside they had been delivered the verdict by the commanding officer.

  I had sat outside, wringing my hands together in disbelief that we were even here. I had lost track of time, sitting and waiting. JJ only an interpreter, not a military man, and only 27, was gone. The mission in Afghanistan had gone wrong and had been aborted. The officer in charge had asked for an extraction, but too late for JJ. We were here to see if anyone’s poor judgement had cost my cousin his life.

  I had sat looking down at my royal blue shift dress, hands tucked underneath my thighs, crossing and uncrossing my feet, encased in matching blue pumps. Slowly becoming aware of some of the witnesses, who had just vacated the enquiry. Studying the small tightly gathered group, who were stood chatting; my awareness had prickled at the sight of one man. He stood slightly apart from the rest. He wreaked dominance, which just screamed for my attention. His large masculine frame was almost Greek God like, my dad would have described him as built like a brick outhouse, and I stifled a giggle.

  Seriously. What the hell was wrong with me?

  Honestly, emotional wreck should have been hung on a sign around my neck! I was sure I was losing it big time. I was going from tearful to giggling, like an adolescent school girl.

  Resuming my study; the broad shoulders went down to a small waist, creating the perfect V shape. His hair was almost black, and he had a deep cleft chin. His lips were sinful looking, full and heart shaped. Not the sort of lips a man should have. A Greek God encased in uniform, it doesn’t get any better. Bella would kick herself when she knew she had missed such a sight.

  I really needed to get a grip and remind myself just exactly what I was here for. No one in their right mind would want to exchange places with me, having lost their surrogate sibling.

  I think I had first noticed him because the hairs on the back of my neck had stood to attention. I remember raising my left hand and rubbing my neck underneath my long brown hair. I continued to stare because he was fidgeting with his white gloves. He hadn’t looked like the sort of person to struggle with nerves or embarrassment, far from it in fact. From 10 feet away he had slowly lifted his gaze, from the floor to me and from the moment my eyes had fallen into his emerald green pools, they had been held captive and I was trapped. I remember even now, physically stopping to breathe.

  He had made his way towards where I sat; walking with assured confidence. Watching him, I could see how he could easily bring a large crowd to a complete standstill. My top teeth had bitten down onto my bottom lip in apprehension.

  He tucked his peaked white cap under his left arm and continued towards me, his dress shoes making a clicking noise on the much worn, hardwood floor with every step. His cologne started to permeate my nostrils.

  “Frankie?” he questioned gently, in the deepest voice I had ever heard, looking straight at me and standing so close I could have touched him.

  “Y-yes,” wondering how the hell he knew my name, and even if he knew who I was, only my family and friends called me Frankie and not my given first name of Francesca.

  “I’m Jabby, I was in charge of the mission JJ was part of,” he paused and inhaled deeply, trying to gauge my response. “I wanted to say how sorry I am, well all the team are,” he said, gesturing towards the small group behind him. ‘JJ was a great guy and a good friend. We wanted to bring him out with us alive, but I guess that wasn’t to be,” he sighed and moved his feet slightly waiting for my response.

  “Were you exonerated?” I questioned, tilting my head slightly to one side, gesticulating towards the closed room, which now contained my aunt and uncle. I was still staring deeply into the green pools of his eyes, noticing now we were closer, that they contained amber flecks. I couldn’t have looked away, even if I had wanted to.

  How could I be so affected by the man who had possibly caused the death of my cousin? Standing up from my seat and establishing a position in front of him, I tried to give the impression that I was in control of my senses at least. I still had to look up, as even though I was tall, I still only came up to the height of his shoulders. My body was my own worst enemy and I felt my nipples pebble inside my bra. His gaze shifted down further to my breasts, almost instinctively. Like my body had sounded a bloody horn to get his attention.

  What the fuck? My confidence evaporated immediately and I shook my head trying to dislodge my thoughts. I fisted and clamped my hands to my sides, as they were aching to reach out and touch the Greek God.

  “I was,” he replied, re aligning his eyes with mine, “At least by the Navy...” he cleared his throat and paused, “If there is ever anything I can help you with? I mean anything; you only have to contact the liaison officer.” Our conversation was interrupted just then by the return of my aunt and uncle” Frankie?” my aunt interjected, looking between me and the 6ft 4in God that stood in front of me.

  I caught hold of her hands and reluctantly broke eye contact with Jabby, what the hell kind of name was that anyway? My aunt looked emotional and I hugged her
briefly.” It was an accident, Frankie” I heard my uncle say.

  I had taken my first proper full breath then, since I had first clapped eyes on Jabby.

  “I would like to offer my sincere apologies, and tell you of my deep regret….” He paused, swallowed and carried on, “JJ was like a brother to me and I am so sorry for your loss,” his green eyes started to mist over and the amber flecks all but disappeared.

  “He may have been like a brother to you... but he was my cousin, my surrogate brother.” I caught an unexpected sob from the back of my throat, and clasped my right hand over my mouth. He moved his hand suddenly and held my forearm. I could feel the heat and when his fingers started to move, all be it slightly, I could feel his calloused skin abrading mine. My whole body responded, as though he had lit the touch paper to my soul. I don’t know how long our eyes held each other’s gaze again in mutual understanding. The moment eventually broke.

  “Sir, Ma’am,” Jabby saluted them, “Frankie,” he nodded at me and then turned to exit the building. Walking away, replacing his cap on his head, straightening it slightly as soon as his feet hit the outside. I was captivated just watching him put his white gloves on. I watched him move them down each of his long fingers. He turned to look at me only once, before he disappeared from view along with the rest of his team.

  Why the hell did it feel like my whole future life was walking away with him? Mentally I chastised myself for being bloody ridiculous. It must be the emotions of the day.

  Get a bloody grip Frankie.

  My memories were broken just then by an announcement on the aeroplane.