“Can I appeal to the small part of you that is a Flagstaff and ask that you give Robert no reason to worry? At least until this war is over. Then you can go back to your scandalous ways.”
Crestfallen and feeling thoroughly chastised, she nodded. “Of course.”
“Good.” He was just about to step clear when the door beside them opened.
“I say, Grayson, the ladies are eagerly waiting.”
Robert! Her eyes flew to Grayson’s in alarm. He immediately pressed her back against the wall, his large body shielding her from Robert’s eyes.
He whispered in her ear, “Put your arms around me. Pretend this is an illicit liaison.”
She did what she was told, her body afire with sensation as his lips trailed down her neck. The material covering his hard thighs rasping against her bare legs exposed through her harem outfit.
“I’ll be right with you. I’m just reacquainting myself with an old friend.” The low, husky sound titillated her skin as his fingers caressed her bare stomach.
Robert seemed to hesitate, seeming to notice the possessive stance behind his words. “I’ll keep the other ladies entertained until you can join us. Unless you’d like to share the lady who has kept you so occupied that you’d keep five exquisite beauties waiting.”
Portia froze. The feelings and desires sweeping through her seemed to be scrambling her brain. If her brother found her like this, in Grayson’s arms … Thankfully, Grayson was in control. “No need. The beauty in my arms never shares. I’ll be along soon.”
Robert shrugged and clapped him on the back. Portia pushed herself fully into Grayson’s embrace, hiding as much of herself as she could.
Robert chuckled. “I see how it is. You always keep the best for yourself. However, it leaves the field open on five delicious ladies until you return.” With that he slipped back through the door into the ballroom.
She was surprised when Grayson did not immediately push away. He continued to hold her trapped, and warmth radiated from his chest, infusing her breasts with a delicious heaviness.
She tried to move. “You can let me go now. I’m sure the ladies are waiting for you.”
His eyes smiled into hers. “That almost sounds like jealousy.”
Of course it did. She was jealous, but she was not about to let him know that. “Don’t be ridiculous. If you remember, I left as soon as you arrived. Why would I be jealous?”
“So, you’re saying you’re unaffected by me?”
What game was he playing? Portia found her gaze riveted on Grayson’s lips, watching them move, wondering what they would feel like. She shook her head. What had he asked?
“Of course I’m not jealous. Not every woman wants to fall into your bed.”
“Liar. I can feel your heart pounding in your chest.”
“We were almost caught by my brother. He does allow me more leeway than most men, but dressed like this, in your arms … there would have been consequences.”
He reached up and slid his fingers behind her nape, and her breathing faltered as she watched his lips draw nearer. “So if I were to kiss you, you’d feel nothing?”
He didn’t allow her to reply but drew her mouth up to meet his. He allowed his lips, soft and firm at the same time, to play over hers like a maestro. Liquid heat washed over her, making her light-headed. She was losing herself in his kiss. She wanted to experience everything his kiss had to offer, and never leave his embrace.
After only moments she felt him begin to pull away. Blast! She was determined to have more.
Her arms tightened further around his shoulders and she pushed deeper into his embrace. He hesitated for a second, as if understanding that the decision he made in the next few seconds would change their world. Portia wasn’t about to let her fantasy get away, though. She ran her tongue over his lips and his body shuddered. His mouth slanted more fully over hers, totally possessing her, seemingly a decision made.
His tongue swept into her mouth as if he couldn’t get enough. A groan rumbled deep in his chest and he pushed her against the wall. She could feel the hardened length of him against her stomach. Her thin harem pantaloons afforded her no protection from his considerable maleness.
Portia gave into the powerful urges in her body. The overwhelming feelings of desire swept her away. She was living her fantasy: Grayson in her arms, making love to her. She moaned into his mouth.
In response, his kiss deepened. His hands ran tenderly over her body. When his knuckles skimmed the upper swells of her breasts, she thought she’d faint from need. As if by instinct she lifted a leg to his hip, opening her womanhood to the feel of his powerful erection. She moaned feverishly as his hand held her leg in place and he moved against her, rubbing the exact spot that seemed to be on fire.
His other hand found her breast and when his fingertips discovered her hardened nipple, fire streaked through her body flooding her veins with smoldering heat. He soon had her breasts freed from their inadequate covering. When he broke their kiss she was bereft until his mouth latched onto one peaked nipple and suckled. She bucked against him, rubbing his hardness.
He reciprocated, grinding against her, driving her mad with his caresses, encouraging her response, coaxing her wildness until she almost lost her mind. She could feel herself traveling to some unknown point. Her body knew the destination but not quite how to get there. “Grayson, oh God, please.”
Suddenly Grayson stopped, his mouth leaving her body. Both of them were breathing heavily, and a wave of frustration swamped her.
It was as if time stood still. His gaze fixed on her bare breasts, where moisture from where he’d recently been suckling glimmered in the dim light.
He dropped her leg as if he’d been burned and stepped away. “Oh, God, Portia … my behavior is appalling. Please forgive me.”
“It was not all your fault.”
He didn’t reply. He simply reached out with one large hand to pull her clothing back into place, covering her still-exposed breasts.
“This should never have happened. It’s untenable.”
Color flooded her face, and she looked away. But why should she be ashamed? She had not started this, and he had been aroused. She looked at his groin and saw he was still aroused. “Why is it untenable?”
He looked horrified as he followed her gaze and realized she knew of his condition. He seemed to hesitate. “Because you’re like a sister to me. Robert trusts me with you.”
She moved toward him, and he took a step back. “I must admit I’ve never wanted to do anything like this with my brothers.” She couldn’t help teasing him. “Why kiss me, then?”
“I had hoped to teach you a lesson. To make you see what trouble you could land yourself in with this continued scandalous behavior. If any other man had followed you into this corridor … unlike me, he would not have stopped.” At her silence he added, “Is that how you want to lose your virginity? Against the wall like a common whore?”
She involuntarily flinched at his cruel words. He’d taught her something: that he was not immune to her, and that he was quite capable of thinking of her as a woman. “It taught me that you desire me.”
“I do not.”
“I may not be as experienced as you, but I can recognize an aroused man.”
Seeming to gather his composure, he straightened his cravat and scoffed, “I’ve been aroused since I walked into the Cyprians’ Ball. It has nothing to do with you, but merely the amount of delectable flesh on display. Most men react, as I did, to scantily clad women.”
Just like that, he squashed her confidence and broke her heart. Stupidly she’d thought there were feelings behind his kiss. Obviously not. This was why she needed experience. To her untutored body, his kisses felt as if he could not live without her.
She did not know what to say. Tears were welling in her eyes, and she wanted to leave. She turned away and started to walk down the passage. “I shall leave you to get on with your amusements, then. I’d prefer not to be one of m
any. If any woman will do, I suggest you go find one who’s obliging.”
“I shall see you to your coach.”
She held up a hand to stay him. Just as he was about to argue, a servant entered the passage further along the corridor. “You, my man, can you see me safely to my carriage?” she asked in desperation. She couldn’t bear to be in Grayson’s company a moment longer.
The servant eyed Grayson as if he could not reply without his authority. It irked her.
“You will see the lady”—and Grayson emphasized the word “lady”—“safely to her carriage or I shall make you wish you were never born. Do I make myself clear?” At the man’s nod, he added, “No one must see her leave.”
“Of course, my lord. I can escort her through the servants’ quarters.”
Grayson hesitated, as if he knew he should escort her, but it was obvious he wanted to be out of her presence as soon as possible. Gruffly he asked, “Will you be all right with this man?”
“Of course,” she responded without looking at him. She might never be able to look at him again. Satisfaction at how steady her voice sounded made her stand straighter.
Portia tucked her cloak around her, chiding herself all the way through the back passages of the servants’ quarters until she was safely in her coach. Only once she was alone in the darkened coach did she let her tears fall.
After her departure, Grayson stood in the deserted passageway cursing. Even as he swore, his blood would not cool. He could still taste Portia, and her scent of orange blossoms lingered on his clothes.
His erection would not subside. Not a problem at a ball such as this—it wouldn’t even be commented on when he rejoined the others—but the thought of being with one of these women after having such innocent yearning in his arms left him slightly nauseated.
How had he let things get so out of control with Portia Flagstaff, of all women? He’d been in serious danger of taking her, up against a wall, with her brother not far away. Only his name on her lips had brought him to his senses.
He’d been fighting his attraction for years. The situation was not helped by the fact that he’d grown up in her family—Robert’s father had taken him in at the age of fifteen when Grayson’s family perished—and still regularly visited with them. Robert was like a brother to him, and how did he repay that friendship? By seducing Portia in an empty corridor.
She was a captivating minx. Her fiery hair, auburn verging on flaming red, matched her temperament. She had a vividness about her that made her seem vibrant and alive. He closed his eyes, and his senses heightened. Her mouth had felt like sin, coupled with a luscious body he’d finally been able to see and feel, since she’d been wearing such a scandalous outfit.
Desire surged again at the sudden memory of exploring her soft warm flesh.
Portia was a woman a man could come to love, but he refused to contemplate that outcome. First, she was far too outspoken and flamboyant for his tastes. Those were not the qualities he looked for in a wife. Perhaps in a mistress—but he’d never dishonor Portia or her family, the family that had taken him in after he’d lost everyone he’d ever loved, by making her his mistress. Second, he refused to let any relationship develop to the point that his heart was engaged. He’d lost his parents and sister at fifteen, and he never wanted to feel such pain again. It was better to keep relationships casual. He wanted a marriage of convenience only. His convenience.
“Blast it,” he swore once again, and turned to reenter the ballroom. He’d find Robert and tell him he was going home. He had no appetite for a dalliance this evening.
When he entered the room and spied the beauties within, they did not stir him. One of the most notorious rakes in London had lost his desire for sins of the flesh. The devil must be controlling him, he thought fearfully, because he wanted only one woman: Portia. A woman he could not have.
You’d best douse your lust before you do something even more inappropriate with her, he told himself sternly.
A dalliance with the desirable Lady Portia could lead to only one conclusion, which was marriage. The thought left him cold to his bones. They were totally unsuited, and yet she stirred something deep within him. She was wild and wanton and took risks, such as her scheme tonight. She sat at the edge of society, testing its limits daily.
She would more than likely bring the Blackwood name into disrepute if she were to become his wife. Even Robert knew they weren’t suited. Robert had told him on Portia’s twentieth birthday that he’d originally hoped for a match, but knowing both of them, he realized they would never make each other happy. Grayson held the honor of his family above all else, while Portia didn’t give a fig what society thought. She did what she wanted when she wanted, and to hell with the consequences.
Grayson wanted a demure, respectable woman who understood the dictates of her position. Not a fire-haired hellion who seemed to think the world was hers to mold and conquer. What he needed was a woman so boring she’d never engage his heart.
He required a woman like his mother, a woman who turned a blind eye to her husband’s indiscretions while being true to her wedding vows. Many might find his stance hypocritical, but he wanted to know his children were his own. The perfect woman would be a lady of breeding, someone who would do nothing to bring the Blackwood name into disrepute.
When he was fourteen and his father discussed what was required of him as the future viscount, he learned he was expected to marry the daughter of a duke or marquis. Just before she’d died in the carriage accident that had claimed his father and sister as well, his mother had suggested that he must choose his allegiance carefully. Her advice was to give his love to his mistresses, picking women who pleased him in bed. When choosing a wife he should look for a good breeder, and treat her with respect. That would keep the Blackwood house strong.
However, Grayson’s view had changed over his years in the Flagstaff household. It was obvious to all that Lord Cumberland, Robert’s father, had loved his wife a great deal. Grayson had watched Lady Cumberland fall to pieces after her husband died. He had come to the opinion that the joy of loving someone was not worth the pain when it inevitably ended. He was thankful that there were plenty of dutiful, respectful women who did not stir his heart.
Portia, on the other hand, more than stirred his heart. She stirred his body and soul too. Therein lay the danger.
Grayson cast Portia from his mind, and set out to find Robert and offer his apologies. A thought, forbidden and dangerous, made his heart still. Admit it, man—you don’t want to give her up.
He’d been trying to deny the powerful and savage attraction for Portia for so long that he’d forgotten what a good night’s sleep was. Tonight had made the situation a hundred times worse. Now when he dreamed, he’d know exactly how she tasted, her scent would be swirling in his head, and he’d remember her soft, silken skin.
Perhaps it was just as well he was leaving to fight Napoleon in three days’ time. A battlefield could make his problem moot. He knew he shouldn’t go. He was the last of his family, but he would not let Robert go alone. He owed Lord Cumberland that much at least.
He must be the only man looking forward to war. Only then might he forget the red-haired vixen who haunted his dreams.
Chapter 1
LONDON, TWO YEARS LATER: DECEMBER 1815
“Don’t you dare get out of this carriage.”
Portia ignored Rose’s command, one of the few people who could. Not many denied the Duchess of Roxborough when she used that tone of voice. Instead, she continued to stare into the darkening night.
It wasn’t as if they were in the wilds of Scotland. The streets around the Thames and especially where the boats left to row to the Vauxhall Pleasure Gardens were teeming with people. Noise, smells, and a brisk breeze swirled around them in comforting normalness. What could possibly go wrong? She’d have her footman with her. Any apprehension churning in her stomach had more to do with whom she was meeting and what his summons meant.
S
ince Grayson’s return from Waterloo he had been a changed man. Robert’s death and the terrible injuries suffered by Grayson’s friend Lord Markham had destroyed the fun-loving rake. He blamed himself, and Portia knew that wasn’t fair.
Rose added, “I swear I’ll end our friendship. Going into this crowd is foolhardy.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. As if I’d fall for that threat! Since the age of five, when we became friends, you’ve threatened to terminate our friendship too many times for me to take you seriously.”
“Women have been known to go missing from Vauxhall Pleasure Gardens.” Rose pretended to shiver in the confines of Portia’s luxurious carriage. She pulled a fur throw over her knees for effect. “Perhaps I should accompany you?”
Portia would have taken Rose’s warning more seriously if it hadn’t been accompanied by a small giggle. “You’re just as eager as I am to understand why Grayson wants to meet me here of all places.”
“Exactly. Vauxhall Pleasure Gardens is no place for a lady to roam unescorted. I’m surprised Lord Blackwood suggested meeting here. Once you get on the rowboat with him you cannot turn back. Perhaps that is his plan.” She flashed Portia one of her wicked smiles. “I’m not sure I approve.”
Exasperation bubbled up inside her. “That’s not what you said over half an hour ago. You thought Grayson requesting me to meet him here was a sign he was finally interested. The beginning of a romantic liaison, you said.”
Rose shrugged her delicate shoulders and pulled the fur higher up her body. “I was simply hoping for the best. He’s the reason you’ve reached four and twenty unmarried.”
Thank goodness the dim carriage hid the flush heating her face. “Grayson, along with every other rake in London, is the reason I remain unmarried.” She did not want to admit that the handsome and charismatic Grayson Devlin, Viscount Blackwood, was the only man who made her heart long for more. “I may not wish to give up my freedom in marriage—I see no benefit at all in doing so—but that does not mean I wish to remain ignorant of the joys to be had in this life. You positively glow when a man is sharing your bed.”
A Touch of Passion: A Rouge Regency Romance: (Disgraced Lords #3) Page 2
