by Simone Grey
But now I know what it feels like to have a man look at you like he wants to eat you for breakfast and the feeling is indescribable.
I have to swallow several times before I can get my mouth to work properly.
“Wh-what was that?”
Levi’s eyebrows knit together. “If you have to ask, then that means I’m not doing it right. Maybe I should show you again.” He leans in and I duck under his arm on shaky legs to put some space between us.
I’m afraid I might do something crazy if I stay in his space a moment longer. Like jump his bones again.
“Levi,” I mutter putting the couch between us.
He turns towards me and my eyes widen at the bulge in his pants before I pull my eyes away.
He doesn’t bother to hide it.
“You have no idea how beautiful you look all flushed from my kiss,” he murmurs huskily.
My arousal spikes again as my heart beats rapidly in my chest. Thankfully he stays on the other side of the couch.
“Okay what the hell is going on? Why are you saying these things and kissing me and, and…will you cover that up please?” I say waving in the general direction of his erection.
I can’t concentrate with that bulge out and on display.
“Why? He likes you.”
My eyes narrow on him. “Levi Trace.”
The smirk dies on his lips and his face shifts into a serious expression.
“We need to talk.”
My heart starts pounding again and I take a seat on the edge of the couch.
“You’re right. That’s why I called you over.” I take a deep breath before looking him in the eye. “I’m sorry I’ve been avoiding you the past two days. It’s just that…I needed time to think about everything. I…I shouldn’t have kissed you. It put us both in an awkward situation and the last thing I want is for it to ruin our friendship. You mean too much to me for that. Will you forgive me?”
His eyes trace over my face as I talk almost like he’s trying to commit my features to memory. He doesn’t speak for so long that I start to grow truly terrified that I’ve done irreparable damage to our friendship.
“No,” he finally says.
My heart dive bombs. “No?” I whisper.
His eyes come back to mine and theirs a renewed determination in them.
“No, I don’t accept your apology because you have nothing to apologize for. I’m the one that should be apologizing. I’m the one that’s missed the signs and clues that have been laid out in front of me for years I’ve just been too stupid to see them. I don’t regret that kiss. As a matter of fact, I want more.”
My heart stops and then starts up all over again.
“What do you mean?” I whisper.
Levi moves closer sitting so our legs are touching.
“I don’t want us to go back to being just friends. I want us to explore being in a relationship.”
I gape at him incredulously. I press my hand to his forehead, because surely, he must be coming down with something to have said that.
“Are you crazy? What about our friendship?”
He pulls my hand away from his forehead and places it on his thigh covering it with his own.
“We can still be friends we’ll just have the added benefit of working towards a relationship. We have all the key components and I’m obviously attracted to you,” he says and my face flushes. “And your obviously attracted to me.” My face flushes some more.
“Why not explore it?”
“Because it could ruin everything!”
Levi takes my other hand and places them both in one of his before looking deep into my eyes.
“Let me worry about that. If that kiss was anything to go by, we obviously have explosive chemistry. Give this a chance baby girl. Give us a chance. I promise you won’t regret it.”
Staring into his eyes, I find my resolve wavering. There are so many things that could go wrong with this. Yet there are also so many things that could go right and I know deep down that I’ll regret it if I don’t try this with him.
I’ve been in love with this man for almost fifteen years. Is it possible that he could fall in love with me too?
“Promise me that we’ll still be best friends if this doesn’t work out?” I whisper.
His unwavering stare holds mine. “I promise.”
“Okay, let’s do this.”
The smile that graces Levi’s face causes my heart to flutter in my chest and I know right then and there that I’m in way over my head.
***
“Well say something.”
Mya and Imani have been staring at me with their mouths open for what feels like forever, but in actuality has only been a few seconds.
It’s later the same day and I called them both over so that we could discuss what just happened. Luckily, Mya was able to get away from work long enough to come over and talk to me. We haven’t really talked since the whole situation with mom went down. The first thing she did when she got here was apologize. Again.
She really doesn’t have anything to apologize for. She may have been unwilling to see just how bad my relationship with our mother actually is, but that’s not the case anymore.
She got a front row seat to just how dysfunctional and messed up it is. Maybe now she’ll back off a little.
Do my mother’s comments still hurt? Yes.
I’d be lying if I said they didn’t. They sting like nothing else could. But then again, I’ve always felt this…disconnect with my mother dating all the way back to when we were kids. It’s something I’ve learned to live with. And something I don’t want to think about now especially after everything that’s just happened with Levi.
“I think it’s romantic,” Mya says tucking her feet under her on the couch.
“Really?” I ask
“Yeah,” Mya says nodding. “I mean it’s always been blatantly obvious, ever since we were kids, how much he cares about you. Maybe he just suppressed his feelings and now they’re finally coming out.”
“Or maybe this is just some temporary lust filled situation that could come back to bite us in the ass and ruin our friendship,” I blurt out.
The more I’ve thought about this in the time between Levi leaving and Imani and Mya getting here the more concerned I’ve gotten. That singular thought has been festering in my mind, growing, and spreading to life in my mind. Thinking back on it, I cannot believe how quickly I gave in to the idea of trying a relationship with him despite my fears. But that’s what he does to me. He obliterates any rational thoughts I may have with a single touch.
What if he’s only feeling lust? I mean I could see his attraction very clearly, but I don’t want to ruin our friendship if that’s all it will ever be.
I decided a long time ago, that repressing my feelings for Levi was the best way to go. I’d rather have him in my life as just a friend than in no way at all.
“That’s crazy Mia. I’ve seen the way he is with you. I don’t think he’d risk losing you just to get laid. He can probably get laid anytime he wants,” Imani says.
I shoot her a sour look my stomach turning.
“Gee thanks for putting those images in my head.”
Imani sighs, “Okay, that came out wrong, what I’m trying to say is that I don’t think he would risk your friendship simply because he wanted to get laid. He must feel something stronger for you. Who knows, maybe that kiss you shared woke him up.”
I break eye contact and focus on my hands as I mull over their words.
“But I love him guys. Like I’m in love with him and I have been for a long time. I’ve been able to keep those feelings in check for so long. If we do this, he’s bound to figure it out and that could send him running in the opposite direction and I can’t…I can’t handle not having him in my life at all. As pathetic as it sounds, I’d rather have him in my life as a friend than not at all.”
“It’s not pathetic Mia. It’s love. That feeling makes people do things they sometime
s wouldn’t ordinarily do. Love involves putting others before yourself. You’ve been putting Levi before yourself for a long time now. It’s time to take a leap.”
“Yeah, Levi obviously cares deeply for you. Hell, that’s more than I can say for my boyfriend at this point,” Imani mumbles.
My head snaps up to look at her. She’s staring out the window with this faraway look on her face.
“Okay, what’s going on with you and Max?” I ask.
Her head shoots up and around towards Mya and I, her blue eyes are wide.
“Crap, did I say that out loud?”
“Yes, you did. You’ve been throwing around hints for a while now and I haven’t pushed because I figured you’d tell me when you were ready.”
Imani stares at me for a moment and then she does something I’ve only ever seen her do once in all my years of knowing her. She burst into tears.
I sit stunned for a second and then I jump into action. Getting out of my seat I rush over to her throwing my arms around her as she continues to cry.
Mya comes up on her other side with a box of tissue in her hands and concern on her face.
Imani lays her head on my shoulder and I just rub her back and let her get it out. My heart hurts for her. She’s usually so bubbly and energetic and positive. I hate that whatever’s going on has made her this sad. It makes me want to go find Max and throat punch him.
After a few minutes, Imani composes herself enough to grab a tissue and dab under her eyes.
“Sorry about that. I didn’t realize how much I was holding in and once I started, I just couldn’t seem to stop.”
“You never have to apologize for letting your feelings out sweetie. I’m your best friend, I’m supposed to be here for you.” I hand her another tissue.
Her eyes water with fresh tears and I feel mines start to water to in reply. I hate to see her hurting so much.
“What’s going on?” I ask.
She sighs, dabbing at her eyes some more. “Max and I have been having…problems lately. He seems so disconnected from me. Every time I try to initiate a conversation it turns into an argument. I know he’s under a lot of stress with trying to learn the ins and outs of his father’s law company, but it just keeps getting worse and last night it came to a boiling point.”
“What happened?” Mya encourages gently.
“I came up with a plan to surprise him. I knew he’s been having a rough week, so I put on some lingerie, lit some candles, put on some music and cooked his favorite meal. He came in and took one look at everything and the look he gave me…” she trails of shaking her head.
“It was like he was disgusted with me. He asked me what I was doing, and I told him I was just trying to make him feel better because he’d been so stressed. He said he didn’t need me to make him feel better. He just needed peace and quiet to work. We got into another argument and I left and spent the night at my parent’s house. I haven’t heard from him since.”
“That bastard,” Mya mutters.
“Why didn’t you call me? You could have stayed here,” I say.
“I know you had a lot going on with your mom and Levi. I didn’t want to bother you.”
“You are never a bother to me. You are one of the best people I know and if Max can’t see that then he doesn’t deserve you.”
My blood boils for her and the clear devastation on her face. She and Max have been dating for several years now. Every time I’ve seen them together, he’s always seemed nice, but looks can be deceiving. A person can act one way around others and be a totally different person when they’re alone with you. I know that just as well as anyone, especially when it comes to dealing with my mother.
“You know what, I have an idea. Why don’t we have a girl’s night in. We can order pizza, eat ice-cream, watch movies and forget about men for the night,” Mya says.
“I thought you had plans with Peter,” I say referring to her fiancée.
Mya shrugs. “He’ll understand if I cancel.”
I look at Imani “What do you say? Do you want to hang out tonight? We can order from your favorite pizza place on Lawndale Avenue and run to the store and pick up some cookie dough ice cream.”
The first genuine smile crosses her face for the first time tonight and I can’t help but smile in return. “I’d love to.”
And that’s what we do. We spend the rest of the night eating, talking, watching movies, and laughing, putting all of our man drama behind us. At least for one night.
Chapter Seven
LEVI
Loud banging on my door wakes me up the next morning. At first, I ignore it caught between my dreams and reality. The knocking persists and dream Mia pauses and looks towards the door. It gets louder and louder and I soon realize that this is not a dream, and somebody is really banging on my door.
With a groan, I roll out of bed and make my way to the door.
“Shit,” I mutter as I stumble into the wall still half sleep. This better be fucking good.
The banging continues until I throw the door open and see Jayce standing on the other side looking way to cheery. He’s fully dressed and holding a cup holder with drinks.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” I ask glaring at him. I can’t help it; he just ruined the best dream of my damn life.
Unfazed by my surliness. He looks me up and down before brushing past me into my apartment.
“Good morning to you too asshole,” he says cheerfully. I stand there in the doorway for a moment trying to collect myself.
“You might want to close the door. I wouldn’t want you to traumatize any of the elderly people that live in this building with that thing you’ve got going on in your pants,” he says from behind me.
Glancing down I curse when I see the tint in my pants. I close the door before adjusting myself in my pants. While waking up with morning wood is a normal thing, it only seemed to be amplified by my morning dream of Mia.
A dream that was heading to second base if I hadn’t been interrupted.
Following the sound of the noise, I find Jayce seated at my table sipping one of the drinks he bought. Glancing at the clock above his head I see that it’s only a little past seven in the morning.
“Dude, what the hell are you doing here so early?” Crossing over to the table, I pick up the other drink. I take a sip, sighing when the coffee hits my tongue.
“Don’t tell me you forgot about our meeting with Wilkerson?” he says raising one eyebrow.
Oh shit. I did forget about it. We’re supposed to be meeting with TJ Wilkerson and his team about doing a commercial for his new clothing line. The meeting was set up a few weeks ago.
“Shit,” I mutter shoving a hand through my hair.
“I’ll take that to mean you did forget,” Jayce glances at his watch. “Well lucky for you, I anticipated that you would forget so you’ve got about an hour.”
“I’ll go get ready,” I say turning to head back to my room.
“Hey,” Jayce calls.
I turn back towards him. “Did you get everything straightened out with Mia yesterday?”
My heart clenches, this time in a good way at the mention of her name and a smirk pulls at the corners of my lips. “Yep, everything’s good.”
Jayce nods seemingly pleased with that.
I had to force myself to leave her apartment or I would have done what I really wanted to do which was throw her down on the couch. Strip her out of those clothes and make her come so many times the only name she’d remember would be mine.
Instead I left and put a plan together for the dates I plan to take her on over the course of the next few weeks, starting tonight. I know I need to handle this carefully. I saw the look in her eyes last night. I know she’s worried I’m not taking this seriously.
She’s wrong. I’m taking this more seriously than I’ve ever taken anything in my life. Hell, she is my life as far as I’m concerned. I just have to go about proving that to her. The first step is our date tonig
ht. I can’t help but smile again as I start to get ready for this meeting. By the time I’m done, Mia won’t know what hit her.
***
“Why can’t you tell me where we’re going again?” Mia asks from the passenger seat of my car.
I glance quickly over at her before refocusing on the road in front of us.
“It’s a surprise,” I say for the tenth time.
She shifts in her seat, crossing her ankles together. When she answered the door for our date a little while ago, I damn near swallowed my tongue when I saw her.
She has on a black short set romper that shows off her legs. Her hair is in its usual curls, but it’s down around her shoulders, something she doesn’t do often. And she put in her contacts, instead of wearing her glasses, another thing she doesn’t do often.
Mya left just as I was getting there, and it doesn’t take a genius to recognize that she helped her get ready. She shot me a smug look on her way out the door saying ‘you’re welcome’ on the way out.
I think she looks beautiful with her glasses on, but without them her eyes appear even bigger. The green and gold pop more dramatically. It took everything in me not to back her into her apartment and do all the filthy things I’ve been fantasizing about over the past twenty-four hours.
Like wrapping her legs over my shoulders as I go to town on her—.
I shift uncomfortably in my seat trying to stop my rapidly hardening dick from hardening anymore.
“You know I hate surprises.”
“Since when? You usually love them,” I say winding my car through the streets of downtown Chicago.
She huffs, fidgeting with a loose curl. “That’s because you won’t tell me. All you said was to dress casual. I’m not so sure this is casual, despite what Mya said.”
“Would you stop fidgeting, you look beautiful.” I reach for her hand and bring it over to my lap covering it with mine. I hear her breath hitch and I can feel her staring at me. Okay maybe it wasn’t a good idea to put her hand in my lap, but it’s too late. I’ll be damned if I move it now.
“Thank you,” she murmurs, and I know I don’t imagine the breathy quality to her voice. Fuck.
