by Opal Carew
“Hey, what’s up?”
Ashley shook her head. “Oh, no, nothing.” She didn’t want to bring Jessica down from her euphoria of starting a relationship with someone special.
“Don’t do that. I can see it in your eyes. What happened?”
Ashley frowned, her hand tightening around the warm coffee cup in front of her.
“When I was at Dare’s last time, it got a bit … tense. Not between him and me but…” She shook her head, her cheeks heating. “Helen showed up.”
“Showed up? So she caught you at Dare’s house again?”
Ashley sucked in a breath. “She caught Dare and I … together.” She hadn’t intended to tell Jessica that. It had just slipped out. But Jess was her best friend and she knew if anyone could make her feel less crappy about the situation—less mortified—it would be her.
“Oh, God, that’s … awkward.”
Ashley nodded. “You have no idea.”
“What did she do?”
Okay, there was no way Ashley was going to give her details.
“Well, she didn’t just leave. She was just…” A shiver raced through Ashley as she remembered. “I don’t know. I don’t really want to talk about that, but…” She stared at her coffee cup. “I think she’d been drinking.”
Jessica nodded. “Did you know she used to drink in high school?”
Ashley gazed at her friend. “Well, sure, we all used to sneak one sometimes.”
“No, I mean, she used to drink in school. She carried a flask around in her purse.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, I caught her one day and she made me swear to secrecy. Her parents—well, her mom and Dare—were going through some rough times, leading up to the divorce. They didn’t tell her they were getting divorced until after graduation, but I suspect Helen knew it was coming, or was afraid it was anyway.”
“And you didn’t tell me?” Ashley felt a little hurt.
Jess shrugged. “I wouldn’t have told her if you had told me something sensitive and swore me to silence.”
Ashley nodded. “Of course. Sorry.”
“So right now life is kind of sucky for you. You’ve got an awkward situation with Dare, since Helen is in the picture, and it’s got to be tense with you and Adam. How’s that going?”
“We have sort of an unspoken agreement to give each other space in the office and he suggested that we suspend our usual running and movie night for now.”
“I can’t imagine that’s going to last long. I’m sure he’s going to make another move soon. To convince you to change your mind and start seeing him.”
Ashley shook her head. “I just wish everything wasn’t so complicated.”
Jessica smiled. “Yeah, well, that’s what happens when you get involved with these older, dominant types,” she teased. “They turn your world upside down.” She took Ashley’s hand and squeezed. “You know, I think you should just have sex with both of them. Preferably at the same time.”
“Jess, you’re terrible.”
“Why? Because I suggest you live out every woman’s fantasy? Don’t tell me you haven’t thought about it.”
* * *
Ashley sat at her desk, staring at the computer screen.
Being with both Dare and Adam. She hadn’t thought about it until Jessica mentioned it, but now she couldn’t stop thinking about it.
What would it be like to have one suckling her breasts, his hand stroking her inner thigh, while the other nuzzled her neck from behind? Being sandwiched between their two big, muscular bodies while their hard cocks glided into her, filling her with wild pleasure.
Her phone rang, startling her from her reveries. Cheeks heated, she picked it up.
“Ashley? It’s Dare.”
Her back stiffened and her cheeks grew hotter.
“Oh, yes. Hi.”
“I was hoping you could meet me for dinner. Tonight. Around six?”
That was less than an hour from now.
“I’ll need a little more time than that. I have to go home and change first.”
“That’s not necessary.”
“But I’m just in jeans.” And she’d like to put something sexy on for him.
“It’s okay. We’ll go somewhere casual. I can pick you up from the office if you’d like.”
“Sure.” She glanced at the clock on her computer. “How about forty minutes?”
She finished up a bit of paperwork, then grabbed her purse. When she walked out the front of her office building, Dare was waiting there in his sporty silver car. He got out and opened the door for her, helping her into the low seat, then a moment later, he put the car into gear and pulled into the city traffic.
He took her to a roadhouse on the edge of the city, not too far from her apartment. It was very rustic, with solid wood tables that had been polished to a glossy shine and waiters dressed in black pants and plaid shirts. Dare asked for a quiet booth and the hostess led them to a corner of the restaurant.
“I wanted to apologize about what happened the other night with Helen,” he said.
She bit her lip. “Thank you. That was pretty awkward. Is Helen okay?”
His gaze jerked to hers. “Why do you ask that?”
“Well, she was pretty drunk.”
His lips compressed. “Yes, her judgment was impaired, but that’s no excuse for her wildly inappropriate behavior. Again, I’m sorry.”
Ashley nodded. “Thank you.” There didn’t seem to be anything else to say. Though she wondered if he’d send Helen away now. Boot her out on her ass after what she did.
If he did, then at least she and Dare could have time together again without fear of Helen interrupting them.
“So has Helen gone back home to Cambria?”
“No, she’s still here for another couple of weeks. That’s another reason I want to talk to you.”
Oh, God, he wasn’t going to ask her to let Helen stay with her, was he? She pushed aside the random thought. Of course he wouldn’t do that.
“You and I and what we’ve been sharing has been great.” His somber gaze locked on hers. “We both knew it was a temporary thing—just while I’m here in town. Now that Helen’s here, making it more difficult, it just seems … It’s probably better to end it now.”
Cold gripped Ashley as she stared into his serious, determined eyes. Yes, she’d known it was temporary, but she didn’t want it to end now.
“We don’t have to stop because Helen is here,” she said. “We could meet somewhere else. You could come to my apartment.”
“No. It’s not just her walking in on us. She’s demanding of my attention and … well, she has no one else. I can’t just turn her away. Surely you understand that. So trying to divide the time between her and you … between the business I came here to do…” He shrugged. “It wouldn’t be fair to you. I just think it’s better to end it now.”
“And if I don’t agree?”
He gazed at her, a light flaring in his eyes, but then it dimmed again and he shook his head.
“I’m sorry.” He took her hand and she simultaneously wanted to pull it away and to stay in the warmth of his grip forever. “I think this is for the best.”
* * *
Ashley closed the door of her apartment behind her, feeling numb. Dare had just broken up with her. Had walked away from what they had without a qualm.
Her stomach clenched and her heart ached. She realized that the growing need she felt for him wasn’t just a sexual hunger for the delights of domination he’d introduced her to.
She had developed feelings for him. A deep need for his touch. For him to need her, too.
Could it be that she was in love with Dare?
* * *
Ashley rested her head on Jessica’s shoulder as Jessica hugged her. They sat on her couch. Ashley had called Jess right after Dare had dropped her off at her apartment and she’d come right over.
“It’s okay, Ashley. That asshole had no right to treat you that w
ay. To just up and ditch you like that? I can’t believe he’s putting that psycho ahead of you. She’s obviously not the person we thought we knew.”
“She is his stepdaughter. He’s trying to help her,” Ashley said, not knowing why she was defending him. This was girl time, when she could dis the guy without guilt and wallow in sharing her pain with her friend.
“Ex-stepdaughter. And no matter what, she’s a grown-up now and is responsible for her own actions. If she’s going to behave badly, he shouldn’t hesitate to boot her out on her butt.”
Ashley just nodded. “Which means, he doesn’t really care about me.” She shook her head. “But I knew that. I can’t really blame him. We both knew it was just a temporary thing.”
“Oh, you can blame him all you want. He hurt you. You have a right to be angry.”
Ashley let a few more tears fall, basking in Jessica’s warm hugs, while Jess stroked her hair. Then Ashley sighed and drew away.
“At least now you can finally be with Adam.”
“But it’s not really fair to Adam that I just latch onto him on the rebound.”
Jess smiled. “I think that man would be happy for any reason for you to latch onto him.” She stroked Ashley’s hair back. “It’s not like he’s a new guy in your life. You two are friends. You have a deep connection. And you’ve had the hots for each other as long as I can remember. Now that he’s taken the step of telling you how he feels and wants to move the relationship forward…” Jess shrugged. “I don’t see why you’d hold back.”
Ashley just shook her head, still hurting too much from Dare’s rejection to think about it.
“Hey, let’s forget about all this right now and just kick back and spend some girl time together,” Jess said. “How about I order us a pizza and we follow it up with some Ben and Jerry’s while we watch a chick flick? I think Reese Witherspoon has a new one out. Or we can watch a classic. Hey, what about When Harry Met Sally? About two friends falling in love?”
Ashley smiled, trying to stop her lip from trembling. “That’s a great idea.”
Jess dialed her phone and ordered Ashley’s favorite, with lots of bacon and mushrooms, and extra cheese. Then she stood up. “I’m going to make a pitcher of ’ritas then go out and get that ice cream.”
Ashley grabbed her hand and squeezed. “Thanks, Jess. I really appreciate you being here for me.”
“Aw, of course, hon. You’d do the same for me.”
Ash smiled. “Yeah, but I won’t have to. Because you’ve found the perfect guy.”
Jess had been out on a couple of dates now with Eric and things were definitely heating up between them. And everything Jess told Ash about him showed that he seemed to adore Jess. Ash had a good feeling about the two of them.
It was tough getting up the next morning for work, after a pitcher of margaritas and staying up way later than she should have. Jess had stayed over and they’d talked half the night. Now they were both regretting the lack of sleep.
But it had been fun.
Thank heavens it was Friday already because she’d definitely be dragging by the end of the day.
Jessica had helped her forget about Dare last night, but at the office, thoughts of him plagued her, keeping her distracted and listless. Her heart still ached thinking about what might have been.
Could she really have believed that he might want to carry on a relationship with her? He’d be returning to New York at the end of the month. What did she think, he’d come visit her every weekend? She fly out there and spend time with him?
He might be able to afford to visit her all the time, but her budget wouldn’t allow her to do the same. And she couldn’t really accept him paying for her travel all the time. As much as she’d love spending weekends in fabulous New York City.
No, it had been a flawed plan all along. Not that she’d really planned it. Her heart just sort of decided it would all work out.
Her heart? Was she really falling for the guy, or was it just the lustful stirrings of her need to be dominated by someone so powerful and authoritative, so sexy and muscular?
Ah, the allure of an older man.
She leaned back in her chair and sighed. Her coffee mug caught her eye. Bold black letters proclaimed HAPPINESS IS FINISHING YOUR DAILY WORD COUNT above an image of an adorable kitten, fast asleep, with a quill pen lying between its paws. Adam had bought her that cup when she’d confessed to him that she had a secret yearning to be a novelist. He’d been super supportive and had had this mug custom made for her. Because of its constant reminder on her desk, she wrote a little bit every day, even if it was just a couple of hundred words over her lunch hour. She hadn’t finished her book yet—she constantly seemed to be revising it—but because of Adam and his encouragement, she was making progress.
Well, right now she needed a coffee. She picked up the mug and headed across the office. When she got to the small room with the coffee machine, she saw that the last person had left the pot nearly empty. She sighed and filled up a new filter with coffee grounds, then waited while the coffee dribbled into the pot.
She glanced up as someone else stepped into the room.
Adam stood there with his mug in hand.
* * *
As soon as Adam saw Ashley standing waiting for the coffeepot to fill, he’d stopped.
“Oh, sorry, I’ll come back later,” he said.
Damn it, he missed her. Missed their runs in the morning. Their regular night to get together to watch movies and talk. Even in the office—especially in the office—he’d felt it was important to give her space.
He really shouldn’t have come on as strongly as he had that day in his office, but he couldn’t undo what he’d done. Now he just had to wait it out to see if she’d come around. Hopefully to embrace the romantic relationship he so hoped they could forge, but even getting back to what they used to have would be a relief.
He wanted her as part of his life, at whatever level she’d allow.
He turned to walk away.
“Wait, Adam. You don’t have to go.”
He turned back and stepped into the room, taking in the welcome sight of her. But he noticed the dark circles under her eyes. The slight sag of her shoulders. She looked tired. And she seemed to be listless, tapping her fingers against her skirt.
She seemed to be uncomfortable under his gaze.
“So how are you doing?” he asked.
“Fine,” she said, but she didn’t sound fine. She sounded stressed.
The coffee stopped dripping into the full pot and she picked it up to fill her cup. Another drip splashed on the burner, sizzling softly when it hit the hot metal.
She filled her cup then held up the pot, offering to fill his. He held it out and she poured in the hot coffee.
“Thanks,” he said.
She nodded, then turned to grab a milk carton from the fridge. It was unopened and she unfastened the cap and then tugged on the plastic ring of the seal inside. She seemed to be having trouble, then it pulled out and she spilled milk on her skirt.
“Oh, damn.” She grabbed a paper towel and started to wipe it up.
“You okay?” Adam asked.
She seemed upset and definitely off her game.
“I’m fine.” She poured milk into her coffee then sealed it and put it back in the fridge. “I’m just a bit off today.”
He wanted to ask if it was because of him. Did being around him make her this nervous? Or was it something else? If something had happened … he wished she felt comfortable talking to him. They’d always shared things before and this distance between them was killing him.
“You know that if you need anything … or you just need to talk … I’m here for you.”
* * *
Ashley’s heart thumped in her chest. Adam was always there for her. She knew that. But she couldn’t talk to him about this. Cry on his shoulder because another man had dumped her. Not when he’d professed his feelings for her.
And if she did tell him
, would he jump on the chance to convince her to be with him? And if he did, how hard would it be for him to convince her? When she felt so rejected and fragile? So needy of a man believing she was special?
She knew she could step into his arms and he’d hold her. Tell her everything would be all right. He would tell her how important she was. How much he cared for her. How he always had.
And she would love it. She would give in and succumb to her attraction for him.
But would that be fair to him? Sure, she’d been attracted to Adam for a long time, but she didn’t know where it would go. Or if it would last. What if it ended and their friendship along with it?
But mostly it wouldn’t be fair to him because she still had feelings for Dare. And that was no way to start a relationship with Adam.
She stared down at the steam rising from her cup in a slow coiling cloud and nodded.
“I know. Thanks, but I’m fine.”
* * *
But Ashley was far from fine. She pushed open the door to her apartment and walked inside, dropping her briefcase on the floor beside her. She walked to the couch and slumped down, then pulled off her shoes and tossed them across the room toward the entrance, not caring that they landed several feet short, forming a misshapen mess.
She was tired, and lonely. And she missed Dare.
And Adam.
God, when he’d come into the coffee room and offered to be there for her if she wanted to talk … She had so much wanted to take him up on it.
She so much wanted to step into his arms and be held.
She scraped her hair back from her face and rested her head back on the couch. Damn, she had to get a grip.
The phone rang. Thank God.
She snatched up the handset. “Hello?”
“Hi,” Jessica said. “I thought I’d check in on you. How are you doing?”
“Oh, God. Adam talked to me today. Said I could talk to him if I needed to.”
“You told him Dare broke up with you?”
“No, he just knew something was wrong.”
“He’s a really great guy.”
“Yes, he is. But I’m not calling him.” She knew that’s what Jessica was trying to get her to do.
“So text him.”
