She looked at him, wishing they could go back to the night before, back to the dance floor where he had held her close and made her laugh. Now an unpleasant tension radiated in the air between them. "Beau," she began, somehow wanting to dispel the tension. "It's nothing personal, you know."
He smiled tightly, his eyes as cold as a wintry day. "When somebody tries to take away some thing I love, I take it very personal. I guess I'm just funny that way."
As a cry came from the boys' room, he stood, his gaze still on her. "I don't give up easily, Carolyn, especially when I believe in what I'm doing. You won't find this an easy battle." Without waiting for her answer, he turned and left the kitchen.
Carolyn fought the impulse to run after him, knowing there was no way to change his mind, no way to make him see her side of this issue. They were at an impasse, at opposite ends of a pole; and the end result was that one of them would get what they wanted, and the other one would get hurt.
Within half an hour Beau and the boys were gone and the house re sounded with silence. It was a silence Carolyn was familiar with, one of loneliness. Some times it seemed like she'd spent most of her life listening to it.
She went into her bedroom, deciding this was a perfect opportunity to make a dent in the mess. She threw away the boxes from the diner and put away the stack of sleepers and tiny T-shirts. It took her nearly an hour to completely clean and organize the room. Once finished, she went into the twins' room and sat down in the rocking chair.
It was a nice room. She wondered if the dinosaur wall paper border had already been on the wall or if Beau had put it up since the twins had come to live with him. For some reason, the sight of the dancing dinosaurs made her sad.
She got up and found herself standing in the hallway just outside Beau's bedroom door. In the week that she'd been here, she'd never seen this, his most private space. The door was partially open, as if welcoming her inside.
She pushed the door wide and stepped inside, surprised to see that Beau Randolf apparently knew as little about house keeping as she did. His bed was unmade; his bedside stand was littered with pieces of paper, coins, a coffee mug and a variety of miscellaneous items. The top of his dresser was just as chaotic, buried beneath magazines, clothing and cologne bottles. One thing was for sure: no matter who raised the twins, it was a certainty that whether it was Beau or herself, a housekeeper would be part of the equation.
The entire room smelled of Beau, the attractive blend of spice and fresh air and maleness. She knew the scent would be strongest in his bed, between the rumpled sheets where he slept and dreamed.
For a moment she entertained the impulse to slip into the untidy bed. Would she feel the same warmth as she had the night before when he'd held her in his arms?
The phone rang. She jumped guiltily, as if caught in the very act she'd just been fantasizing. She hurried out of the bedroom and into the kitchen, where she grabbed the receiver in the middle of the second ring. "Hi, Carol."
"Regina," Carolyn replied as she recognized the friendly voice.
"I stopped by Iris's just a few minutes ago. I always bring her a fresh-baked coffee cake on Sunday mornings. Anyway—" she paused a moment to catch her breath, then continued "—Beau said it was your day off."
"It is." Carolyn barely managed to answer before Regina proceeded.
"Waylon just took the kids to the park, and I was wondering if you'd like to meet me some place for lunch. You know, indulge in a little girl talk."
"I'd love to," Carolyn instantly agreed, grasping at the pleasant invitation to escape the quiet of the house.
"Great! Why don't we meet at Wanda's about eleven?"
"Is there any place else to have lunch?" Carolyn asked after a momentary hesitation. Not only was she fairly sick of Wanda's home cooking, but she was afraid she would walk into the café and everyone would giggle and point her out as the city woman who couldn't cook.
"There's the Bread Basket at the corner of Second and Oak. It has terrific salads and homemade bread."
"That sounds wonderful," Carolyn agreed. "I'll see you there at eleven." After hanging up, she decided to leave immediately. It was almost ten o'clock and she could wander up and down the side walks of Main Street and window-shop until it was time to meet Regina.
It was another unusually warm May day, with a slight breeze that smelled of summer. Carolyn walked slowly, enjoying the warmth of the sun on her back. She knew the first thing she was going to have to do was explain to Regina her real identity. She liked Regina, had enjoyed the woman's friendliness and vitality the night before. She didn't want to have lunch with her under false pretenses.
As she walked toward Main Street, people she recognized from the night before greeted her with cheerful hellos or friendly waves. Again Carolyn wondered if she would be making a mistake in taking the twins away from the coziness and friendliness of this small town.
But I can give them so much more than this, she thought. She couldn't have doubts now. She remembered her father telling her once that true strength was in making a decision, then sticking to it no matter how many doubts entered your mind. Carolyn had always considered herself strong and so she resolutely shoved aside any lingering doubts about gaining custody of the twins. She was doing the right thing, and she intended to follow through on her original plan.
At exactly eleven o'clock, she walked into the Bread Basket and immediately spotted Regina sitting at one of the tables near the window. Regina waved her over, a huge smile on her gamine face.
"Oh, this is so fun," Regina exclaimed when Carolyn was settled in the seat across from her. "I haven't had a chance to have lunch with a friend in a long time."
With a sigh, Carolyn immediately told Regina her real name and the reason she was in Casey's Corners. "When Beau mistook me for the housekeeper he'd hired, it just seemed a perfect opportunity," she finished.
Regina laughed, her brown eyes crinkling attractively at the corners. "We all were wondering why a woman who was a professional housekeeper would order her supper each night from the local diner. We also wondered how long you could afford to keep it up, but I guess for you that wasn't an issue."
Carolyn frowned. "Why do I feel like I need to apologize for my financial status?"
"Oh, hon, you shouldn't. It's just that I'm sure you live a lifestyle in New York very different from what we live here."
They stopped their discussion when the waitress appeared to take their orders. After she had departed once again, Regina looked back at Carolyn. "So, you're going to try to take the boys away from Beau?"
There was no censure in Regina's voice, no judgment at all, but Carolyn felt a flush warm her face. "I'm doing what I think is best for the twins," she defended.
"Oh, I'm sure you have their best interests at heart." Regina placed her napkin on her lap. "I just feel bad for Beau."
"I'm sure he'll adjust," Carolyn returned tightly. "Mary always told me Beau was the man about town. I'm sure he'll have no trouble finding some woman to soothe him."
Regina smiled. "Oh, yes, there was a time Beau was a devil with the women, but that was pretty much before Bob and Mary moved back here." She frowned thoughtfully. "I've known Beau since we were kids. He grew up in a wonderful family. His parents were loving, caring people. All the kids hung out at the Randolf house. Then suddenly his parents were gone and Beau was lost."
"And that's when he started spending time with Bob and Iris," Carolyn said.
"Exactly." Regina nodded. "Then Bob moved to New York and once again Beau was left adrift. That's when he started dating like a madman." Regina smiled, her affection for Beau apparent. "I think for the first time in his life, he felt truly alone, and it scared him. He settled down again once Mary and Bob moved back here. In all his wild dating, I think he was looking for something."
"What?"
Regina smiled. "He was looking for the place where he belonged."
Carolyn digested her words in shock. How was it possible that a wealthy
woman from New York and a country man from Kansas could be seeking the same thing? It was a disconcerting thought: the idea that beneath the trap pings, she and Beau shared a common desire, a common dream.
She was relieved when the waitress brought their orders and their talk turned to children. For the remainder of the meal Regina entertained Carolyn with stories of her four children.
It was after one o'clock when they reluctantly parted company. As Carolyn walked back to Beau's house, she thought of the lively Regina and how much she had missed having a close female friend in her life.
When she reached the house, Beau was carrying a plastic box out of the garage. The twins were already in their car seats and it was apparent he was getting ready to leave once again.
"Did you see my note?" she asked.
"Yes. Did you have a nice lunch?"
She nodded. "Regina seems like a really nice person."
"She's one of the best." He placed the box in the back seat of the car. "I was going to take the kids fishing. Want to come?"
"They fish?" she asked.
A small smile curved one corner of his mouth. "I fish. They drool."
"I'd like to come. I've never been fishing before," Carolyn said.
He pointed to the passenger door. "Let's go."
The ride was silent and strained. Carolyn didn't know what to say to him and longed for the easy relationship they'd had before the morning discussion. She wanted to see his eyes warm again, not the distant gray they were at the moment. She wanted to hear his laughter again, that wicked chuckle that always produced a responding smile in her.
"Where do you fish?" she asked, unable to stand the silence any longer.
"Randolf's Pond." Beau tightened his grip on the steering wheel, already regretting the impulse that had prompted him to invite her along.
"Randolf's Pond. Any relation?"
"It's on the place my parents used to own. When it was sold, the new owners promised me I'd always be welcome to fish the pond and it's a promise they have kept."
"Do you like to fish?"
"Sure. It's hard to hold on to stress with a fishing pole in your hand." He cast her a sideways look, noting how the sunshine streaming in the window danced on her dark hair and picked up fiery high lights of deep auburns.
He suddenly realized he was going to miss her when she was gone and those feelings were separate from the way he knew he would miss the twins. In the past week he'd spent his days at work looking forward to returning to the boys…and Carolyn. If she won the custody suit and she took the kids away from him, he would miss them desperately. What stunned and somehow angered him was to realize he was going to miss her, too.
Pulling his thoughts away from dangerous territory, he turned onto the dirt lane that led to the pond. Within moments it came into sight—a huge expanse of water that glistened in the sunlight. Beau instantly felt his inner tension ebb as he gazed at the peaceful pond with its surrounding woods.
"Oh, this is beautiful," Carolyn said softly.
"This has always been one of my most favorite spots. Almost every important event in my life has been celebrated, or cried over on these banks." He stopped the car and turned off the engine. For a moment he didn't move, but instead stared at the area and allowed old memories to play in his head. "When I was growing up, we had all my birthday parties right here. Mom and Dad cooked hamburgers out on a grill, then the kids would all swim or fish."
"You're lucky. You have wonderful memories of your family."
He turned and looked at her in surprise. "You don't?"
She shook her head, wistfulness shining from her eyes. "We didn't have time for birthday parties. Usually on my birthday the nanny would hand me a check from my parents." She looked away from him, out the window toward the pond. "My father was too busy running the corporation to plan a party or buy a gift and my mother, before her death, was usually off at some spa chasing the newest technique to keep her young-looking." She turned and looked back at him, her face slightly colored. "Sorry, I'm sure you don't want to hear about my distant past. Come on, let's go fishing."
Before Beau could reply she got out of the car and opened the back door to help with the kids. It took several minutes for them all to get situated on a large blanket by the end of the pond. The boys sat in the center, an array of toys before them.
Beau made a final trip to the car, carrying the last of the tackle, the bait and the fishing rods back to the blanket. He sat down on the edge closest to the pond and pulled the lid off the container of worms.
"What's that?" Carolyn asked, edging closer to him so she could see what he was doing.
"Bait." He looked at her, grinning at her squeamish expression as he pulled a worm out of the bedding. "I have an extra pole. You want to fish?"
She eyed him hesitantly, then watched him as he expertly baited his hook. "Will you fix it for me? You know, put the worm on?"
He shook his head. "Oh, no. If you're going to fish you need to bait your own hook. It's the only way to truly enjoy the whole fishing experience."
"Maybe I'll just watch you for a little while," she finally replied and sat down near him.
"Suit yourself." With an easy flick of his wrist, he cast the hook out into the water, then settled back in a prone position, his arms folded beneath his head and the rod and reel balanced between his knees.
He closed his eyes, lulled by the sounds of the kids' soft gibbering, the pleasant wind that stirred the tops of the trees and the sweet scent of Carolyn that permeated the air surrounding him.
"What happens now?"
Cracking an eyelid he saw that her attention was focused on the fishing pole, as if she expected it to spring to life at any moment. "We wait for the fish to bite."
"Oh. What do people do while they wait?" she asked curiously.
He sat up and smiled at her. "People do different things. Some sleep." He pointed to the twins, who had both fallen sound asleep. "Others think or meditate or talk. Tell me more about your family."
"You don't want to hear about that," she exclaimed.
"But I do," he protested. If she got custody of the boys, it was important that he know what kind of person she was, aside from her social standing and financial security. He needed to know that the kids really would be better off with her. "Did you ever think about doing anything else other than going into your family business?"
She shook her head. Again the wistfulness was back in her eyes. "At a very early age I discovered that the only thing my dad seemed to have time for was business." Again she looked away from him, focused on some distant point across the pond. "Business was the only thing he liked, the only thing he seemed to respect. I guess I figured the only way Dad would notice me, pay attention to me, was if he had to look at me every day at the corporation."
"Did it work?"
She smiled, but it was a sad little smile that touched Beau's heart. "Not really."
"Didn't Mary tell me you have a couple of sisters? Do they also work for the family corporation?"
"No." She was silent for a moment, obviously thoughtful. "We all coped differently with our parents' inattention. Bonnie—she's twenty-four, two years younger than me—she coped by being outrageous. As far as Bonnie was concerned, negative attention was better than no attention." She smiled, as if thoughts of Bonnie amused her. "She's in Europe right now, probably destroying monarchies and causing chaos."
"And your other sister?" Beau asked, fascinated by this peek into her personal life. Mary had spoken often of Carolyn, but hadn't told him very much about her family.
"Colleen. She's the baby of the family, and she has pretty well managed to carve a life for herself away from the Baker name and business. She's a social worker on Long Island."
"Whoa!" He jumped up as his fishing pole jolted out from between his knees. Carolyn immediately joined him, dancing with excitement as he reeled in the line. "It's a real fighter," he exclaimed as the line first zigged one way in the water, then reversed and zag
ged in the other direction.
"Get it in," Carolyn said, her voice vibrating with excitement.
Beau laughed. "I'm trying." He reeled faster, hoping he didn't lose it. "Wow, now that's a keeper." He triumphantly pulled the fat catfish in and quickly placed it on a stringer.
"Where's that other pole?" Carolyn asked.
He looked at her and grinned. "You ready to bait your own hook?"
She returned his grin with one of her own and pointed to Trent and Brent, who still slept peacefully. "I figure if I can clean up their little bottoms, then I can handle a little bitty worm."
He popped open the container and held it out to her. As she withdrew a fat, wiggling worm, he had to admit to himself that at least she was a good sport.
Although he made her bait her own hook, he cast her line out into the water for her, then gave her the pole. "If you feel a tug on the line, then jerk the pole to set the hook," he instructed as he handed her the rod.
It took only a moment for her to get a bite. She jerked the pole so hard she lost her footing and tumbled backward, landing flat on her bottom in a patch of clover near the edge of the blanket.
Laughing, Beau held out his hand to help her up. "Are you all right?"
She nodded and grabbed his hand. As he pulled her up she stood directly in front of him. His laughter died as he remembered how it had felt the night before to hold her in his arms, taste the honeyed velvet of her lips. He wanted it again; wanted it so badly his body ached with the need.
He followed through on that need, pulling her against him as his lips sought hers. He didn't care whether it was right or wrong, smart or dumb. He only knew that holding Carolyn, kissing Carolyn, was what he wanted to do.
She responded with a hunger that surprised him, stirred his desire even higher. Her mouth opened beneath his, inviting him into a kiss of such depth, such intimacy, his head reeled with wonder. She smelled as fresh as the air that surrounded them, tasted as sweet as the patch of clover that enveloped them as they stumbled to the ground, still locked in an embrace.
Deputy Daddy Page 9
