Sighing, she smoothed down her hair and faced him. “I’m ready to go.”
Nick scowled down at his phone as he typed a message. “Damn it.”
She wanted to ask what was wrong, but held her tongue. One more rejection from him might be more than she could handle.
Somehow, she had to find a way to get through to him. She didn’t want to repeat the mistakes of her past. Trusting Ryan even though she knew he kept secrets had been her first big mistake. Foolishly giving her heart to a man who didn’t love her back had been the second.
Nick said all the right things when confronted. His body told her a million ways over that he desired her. However, his hot and cold attitude had to stop. While he took care of his business, Carlie needed to make some decisions. The first one being how long she could go on if he wouldn’t trust her.
Chapter Twenty-One
Nick paced the sitting room at his hotel. Carlie had barely said anything on the way to her house and didn’t give him a kiss goodbye when he left. What could he say, though?
Oh, yeah, sweetheart. Well, the boss of the secret agency I work for summoned me for an immediate phone call. We’ll probably be talking about you, so you can’t come along.
Sure, that’d go over well. He checked his phone again, frustrated that Paul hadn’t phoned yet. One of the first rules the agency lived by was that Paul never contacted agents unexpectedly and demanded immediate reports. He was supposed to wait for them to make contact at safe times. Nervousness tightened his stomach into a hard knot. Something big must have happened to make Paul break protocol.
Then again, S.A.T.O. killed agents they no longer needed. Maybe protocol wasn’t such a big deal anymore.
His phone finally beeped and Nick swiped the screen. “Yes?”
“All hell broke loose yesterday,” Paul said. “There was a hit against the Vice President last night. He’s in the hospital, but stable. We’ve told the public he’s suffering from pneumonia.”
Nick heard on the news this morning that the VP was ill, but he’d been so busy with Carlie, he hadn’t given it much thought. An attempt on his life? That was a problem. “Shit.”
“More than shit, Nick. S.A.T.O. is on high alert. The board members don’t want to wait around for you to schmooze with the target. They want her bracelet accounted for and that entire organization taken down. Immediately.”
Nothing less than he expected. Still, Nick had to try to insert a bit of reason into the conversation. “Sir, I’ve searched everywhere and she doesn’t have a bracelet. We even got in a fight about Muhammad, and she told me he runs the soup kitchen because he’s trying to create good will for his family after the embarrassment his uncle caused.”
“Of course she’d say that. She’s lying to you. You don’t realize that?”
Nick breathed deeply, trying to calm his racing pulse. He was out of time. Whatever Carlie’s secret was, he had to figure it out fast. “What if she isn’t a terrorist? The evidence pointing to her is circumstantial. I know she’s lying about who she is, but what if it’s for some other reason?”
“Such as?” Paul’s voice was completely level.
Nick wasn’t sure if the man would actually listen to his theories, but he had to try. “Maybe she had something to do with Prince Rayhan and Princess Stephanie’s deaths. Carlie is obviously running from some mistakes in her past, but I don’t think she’s trying to hurt the American people.”
Paul cleared his throat, but was otherwise silent for several long minutes while Nick resumed pacing the room.
“Do I need to pull you from the case?” Paul finally asked.
“What? No!” Nick wiped sweat from his brow, desperately searching his mind for something that might convince Paul to give him more time. “Sir, I had a very good conversation with the target last night. When I implied I was in sympathy with terrorists and thought they had a point, she wanted to throw me out of her house, even though I know she’s falling for me. She was disgusted. Whatever her secrets are, I don’t believe it’s that.”
“Have you even searched for the bracelet, or are you letting your penis make the decisions?”
“I’m searching.” Damn. This wasn’t going well. “She didn’t flinch when she caught me in her safe today with everything pulled out of it. Even though the bracelet wasn’t there, if she were hiding one, don’t you think she’d freak out at me searching her stuff?”
“Nick, did I ever tell you why the S.A.T.O. board sent the orders to kill Agent Jason Steele after the assassination attempt against President Sharp last year?”
It was something he’d often wondered about. Swallowing hard, Nick tried to keep his voice level. “No, sir.”
“The reason Aamir Abdul and his group almost succeeded was because Jason thought he was in love with one of the women helping them, and he made a mistake. A mistake that nearly killed our goddamn President and showed Jason to be the traitor he was!”
Nick’s first reaction was surprise that Aamir let women work with him. Then again, his hatred for Americans was so great, he’d probably do whatever he had to. When Nick last spoke with Jason before sending him on a flight out of the country, he never mentioned a woman. However, she’d obviously tricked him, so why would he bring it up?
“Sir, with all due respect,” Nick said slowly, “this isn’t the same situation. I’ve been searching for the bracelet, even though everything I’ve seen tells me it doesn’t exist. I can’t find anything to implicate Carlie or Muhammad in terrorist activities. I’ve observed them together all week like you asked, been with them every second they spend together. Not once has anything slipped or have they seemed impatient to get rid of me.”
“I would hate for you to go out the same way Jason did, Nick.” Paul sighed heavily. “Women will never tell the truth, even the ones who aren’t terrorists.”
Though it sounded like he had personal knowledge on that front, Nick really didn’t want a life lesson from him. Paul knew nothing about Carlie or the type of woman she was.
He sank onto the couch and tried to come up with a plan. S.A.T.O. seemed determined to place blame on Carlie, whether it was warranted or not. He didn’t know how much longer it would take Donovan to get the new identities, but he needed to put a call in and see if they could rush the order.
“You still there, Nick?” Paul’s rough voice cut into his thoughts.
“Yeah, just thinking where else I could search. Maybe the target has a safe hidden at her house I don’t know about. I haven’t searched it all.” He’d say anything to buy a little more time before they sent another agent to take care of the problem—which, at this point, most certainly meant killing both him and Carlie if Paul thought Nick was doing the same thing Jason had.
“I suggest you do it, then,” Paul said. “Thanksgiving is next Thursday. The President is leaving Monday morning for Camp David to spend the holiday, so we’re on standby until he gets back to make decisions. That gives you a week, give or take, to wrap this case up.”
“And if I can’t find what you’re looking for, then I’ve outlived my usefulness for the organization.” Nick said it flatly, with no hint of a question in his voice.
“Can you handle this or not?” Paul asked, not denying Nick’s statement.
Handle it...that would mean figuring out who Carlie really was, why she was lying, and convince her to leave the country with him. That was the only way he could see to handle it. Nick realized talking to Paul had only solidified his belief in Carlie. She was flawed and secretive, yes, but not looking to kill innocent people.
“Yes, sir. I believe I can.”
“Fine,” Paul said. “Anytime you think you might fail, just remember Jason Steele and what could happen.”
The line went dead in Nick’s ear and he dropped the phone to the coffee table. He had less than a week to figure it all out and get them out of the country.
First, he’d try to call Donovan and throw a little more money at that problem. After that, he had to make thi
ngs up to Carlie.
***
Carlie hung up the phone from Bradley, her business partner, not sure if she felt any calmer. She and Bradley had shared some good times, and she’d hoped he would be able to help with her current problem. He was one of the only people she’d trusted for a long time and a good friend. Though they satisfied their more primal needs with each other in the past while she worked in his restaurant, she’d never fooled herself into thinking they loved each other.
His advice on Nick was not to give up if she thought their relationship was the real thing. But how could she know? Nick ran so hot and cold, and he kept secrets. After everything she’d shared with him, if he truly cared for her, wouldn’t he do her the courtesy of letting her into his private life too?
Carlie carried her empty coffee mug into the kitchen and rinsed it out. It was past ten. If Nick came home tonight, he’d have to let himself in with his key.
Home. His key. Who the heck am I trying to kid? Of course I think he’s the real thing. In six years, I’ve never trusted anyone that much.
She walked back to the bedroom, turning out lights as she went. She left the porch light on, just in case Nick came back. A little extra electricity wasn’t too much to ask for the man she loved.
Climbing into bed, Carlie curled up on her side and pulled the comforter over her head, willing sleep to take over before she started crying. She’d cried enough to last any number of lifetimes when she found out the truth about Ryan. Crying over Nick and their short relationship was pointless. Especially since she hadn’t made any decisions yet. If she ended things with him, then she’d allow herself a few tears.
Without warning, hard arms encircled her from behind, pinning her to the mattress. The blanket blocked her vision and Carlie had no idea who attacked her. Though her heart pounded, she threw an elbow into his stomach, struggling to free herself so she could gouge his eyes out like Nick taught her.
“Ouch. Shit, Carlie, it’s me.”
She froze. “Nick? Where did you come from?”
He pulled the blankets off her face, and Carlie was able to see him in the light coming through the windows.
“I called your name several times, but you were sound asleep,” he explained. “I wanted to hold you.”
Her initial reaction was to cuddle him and apologize for the elbow. Then again, if he wasn’t so secretive, she would have been with him tonight instead of struggling against crying herself to sleep.
She sat up and smoothed her static-filled hair. A glance at the clock revealed it was past midnight. “Everything work out at the restaurant?”
“Yes...” He drew the word out and then sighed. “I’m sorry you’re mad at me again, but I understand why. I want to fix this.”
Carlie drew her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. “How?”
“You keep asking me to share my life and I haven’t. I’m sorry.”
Carlie relaxed slightly, though vowed not to let him distract her again with sweet talk and mind-blowing sex. “And you’re ready to share?”
His eyes caught hers in that gaze she couldn’t resist. “What would you say if I told you I’m not entirely what I appear to be?”
A frisson of fear threaded her spine, but she kept eye contact. “What are you?”
“I’m...I’m a man who has been hurt in the past, a lot, and doesn’t like talking about it.” He shrugged and looked away, reaching for the touch lamp on the nightstand and turning it to low. “My father only cared about my performance. My value was high if I won each karate competition or had better aim than the other people on the shooting range. Whenever I failed, it was a horrible disappointment to him. We never really got along, though it did make me what I am today in many ways.” He paused and shook his head. “The hardest thing from my past was when Mom was murdered. The only person who ever truly loved me, and some punk in the street stabbed her for a purse that only had a few bucks in it.”
“Oh, Nick.” Despite her resolve, Carlie captured his hand and pressed it against her cheek. “I’m so sorry.”
He ran his hand down her face and across her neck, squeezing her shoulder briefly. “I have a lot of trust issues, and it’s not my nature to let people in. It’s hard for me to open up.”
“So, we’re a lot alike that way.” She propped pillows behind her and leaned against the headboard. “That had to be tough, though. I really am sorry about your mom.”
He nodded and looked away. “So am I. I miss her.”
“Do you see your dad much?”
“No. Never. I created a new life for myself, and so did he. He has a new wife and son, actually.” He sighed. “I guess he wanted to start over, since I was such a disappointment. Then again, I don’t believe he ever loved Mom, so why did I expect him to love me?”
The bitterness in Nick’s tone wasn’t surprising. Carlie felt a deep sorrow for him, even though he sounded angry rather than sad.
“I can understand why you don’t like to talk about it, but I appreciate you sharing.” She stroked his hand softly with her fingertips. “I think my parents gave me an unrealistic view of what love should be. Their marriage was nothing like your folks’.”
“They live the fairytale you talked about, don’t they?”
“Yes. In a lot of ways, they do.” She realized her next statement might make Nick decide to walk away, taking the decision from her as to whether she kept seeing him, but she plowed on. “The problem I have is that I want the fairytale too, even if it’s unrealistic.”
“Every relationship I’ve ever had has failed.” He sat quietly, apparently deep in thought. Finally, he looked up again. The vulnerability in his eyes made Carlie’s heart thaw even more. “We don’t even know each other that well, Carlie, and I already want more with you.” He held his hands up. “And before you berate me for us not knowing each other better, I know that’s my fault, not yours. You’ve been completely open and honest with me. I’m the one holding us back.”
“I’m glad you’re trying to change that tonight. It’s a step in the right direction.” At least she hoped it was.
“The truth is, I want the fairytale too.”
She was almost afraid to breathe. “You do?”
“I feel more deeply for you than any other woman I’ve been with. If I let you in and then lose you, it will hurt so much. Maybe too much to handle.”
“But if you block off happiness because you don’t want to risk possible pain, don’t you lose by default?”
“Yes, and that’s why I made a decision tonight.” He stood and held his hand out to her. “Will you please come into the living room? I know I screwed up, again, but I want you to know I’m committed to trying harder. I bought you a present.”
It had been a long time since anyone bought her anything. Carlie took his hand. “You didn’t have to do that. I don’t want gifts. All I want is you.”
He pulled into his arms, kissing her softly. This time, Carlie didn’t fight it. He was trying, he was sharing. That’s all she ever wanted.
He broke off the kiss, but pressed his forehead against hers. “All I want is you, too, but I think you’ll really like this.”
“Well, since you already bought it...”
Nick laughed and opened the door, leading her into the hallway. “This is our fairytale, my lady, and the gallant knight had to do something impressive to win the hand of his fair maiden.”
He was a bit cheesy, but adorable when he said the ‘my lady’ stuff. Happiness fluttered in her chest. When they weren’t fighting, Carlie could almost believe their fairytale was meant to happen.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Nick flipped the light switch on as he led Carlie into the living room, and then turned to watch her reaction.
She gasped and her hands flew to her mouth. “What is this for? I don’t understand.”
“Your bruises are mostly healed and we need a fun night out. In all the craziness with Stephen and assassins and whatever, we skipped right past dat
ing. You deserve to be treated like a lady.” Nick walked further into the room, and Carlie followed him. Before waking her up, he’d laid the teal evening gown he’d picked out across the back of the couch. “Do you like it?”
“It’s beautiful.” She took another step forward and stroked the silk fabric.
“Sorry I was so late, but I had to drive down to Seattle to find a shop that was open.” Well, he’d found a shop owner willing to indulge a man throwing around so much money, since the store wasn’t technically open. He walked behind Carlie and pulled her against his chest, brushing his lips across the back of her neck. “Can you forgive me?”
She relaxed into him and hugged his arms tightly to her stomach. “I promised myself I wouldn’t be swayed by your sweet talk and how much I want you.”
He mouthed her earlobe and Carlie’s head dropped back against his shoulder. She had to forgive him. Talking her into leaving the country with him had become the only option. “I’m really trying to do what you want,” he breathed.
“Which I do appreciate.” She reached back and caressed his face. “Will you promise to tell me more about yourself? I know it cost you a lot to open up tonight and talk about your parents, but that’s what I need.”
Even though he hadn’t told her about S.A.T.O., he tried to let her in. The relationship with his father was a flop, but Nick figured that was part of his issue with forming lasting relationships, and she deserved to know about it. The hardest part was talking about his mother’s murder. Nick owed it to Carlie to let her in on his past, but not anymore tonight.
“Please, Nick. I want a man who wants me as much as I want him,” she whispered.
He ran his tongue down her neck and caressed her breasts with his fingertips. “I want you, Carlie. Don’t worry about that.”
“I mean more than physically.”
Releasing her, Nick stepped back. He didn’t want her to think sex was all he wanted, because it wasn’t. “I meant more than physically too. My past is hard to discuss, but I want the entire package with you. That’s why I planned us a special day tomorrow.”
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