by Melissa West
“Did you find everything you needed?” He avoided looking directly at me, and I realized maybe he was as affected by me as I was him.
“I did. This place is amazing.” I took a step toward him, testing my theory, and his gaze lifted to my face before sweeping slowly down my body, his expression full of agony.
He cleared his throat and stepped back, his eyes darting away. “So, where should we begin?”
“Warm up?” I walked over to a wide-open space in the middle of the room and continued my stretches. I’d learned long ago that if I didn’t take the time to wake my body up I’d pay for it the next day. Aidan watched me sit down on the ground and open my legs wide. “Do you work out in here often?” I asked.
His eyes locked on my legs. “Hmm?”
I fought the urge to grin. “Do you work out here often?”
“Most nights. I mix it up. Free weights or cardio.”
I stood up and stretched my arms out, then bent forward to touch my toes. He wasn’t stretching. He was watching. And the look in his eyes messed with my body and mind in the best and worst possible ways. In that moment, I’d have given anything for him to be anyone other than my boss.
“Are you ready?” he asked.
With a quick nod from me, he walked over to grab two pairs of gloves, then met me in the center of the room and passed a set over to me. He was so close. Too close. My skin hummed and tingled, heat spreading through me. Attraction was one thing, but this was torture.
I slipped the gloves on and backed up, eager for a little distance so I could get my heart to calm down.
“Everything okay?” he asked from across from me, a crooked grin on his face. “Don’t worry, I’ll go easy on you.”
And just like that, my competitive side took over, agitation working through me as I got into position. “Yep. Fine. Good. Let’s start.” I was totally going to knock that smirk off his face. Forget sparring.
I lunged forward and began moving, but with each punch, he was already there, blocking me. My eyes widened as I stepped back again. “You fight?”
“Not anymore.”
“I sense a story there.”
He shrugged, and I realized then that he didn’t like compliments. They made him uncomfortable. “Not really. I was a black belt in karate when I was younger. Used to compete.”
“So, karate is your thing?”
“My thing?”
Kick. Punch. Damn, could he at least let me land something? I pushed harder, growing breathless. “You know,” I said, trying to catch my breath. “Your hobby. Your interest.”
“Not now. I went through an extreme sports phase right after college—rock climbing, mountain biking, that sort of thing, but I don’t really have the time for it anymore. My interests have changed.” His eyes gleamed with mischievousness.
I laughed. “Yet you refuse to date. What’s that about?” I knew I shouldn’t question him on his love life, but conversation with Aidan came too easily when we were alone.
“Ah, the question of questions.”
“You don’t have to answer.”
He walked over to a refrigerator in the corner, pulled out two waters, and passed one over to me. Taking a long drink of his, he set the bottle down on the mat, clearly stalling. “Let’s just say I don’t want to end up like my father. So I take away the possibility. No dating. No risk of marrying and turning out like him.”
My breathing slowed as I watched him, searching for something in his face that said his reason was thinner—why date, why get serious, when there were so many women? Something like that. But he only appeared sad. Like the conversation had stirred up memories he didn’t want to remember.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.”
“No, I shouldn’t have answered, but with you…” His eyes locked on mine and the charge in the air sparked. “I reveal too much.”
“Yeah, I know what you mean.”
“What about you? Where do you stand on the relationship thing? Do you date? Have coffee with men who offer?” He smirked.
I turned away, needing a break from his stare. A break from the intensity building between us. Unscrewing my water bottle, I took a long pull, then two, playing the stalling game myself now.
“I only date.” I spun to look at him. “I don’t do casual. Our thing, it—That was a first for me.” Silence replaced the easiness from before, and I wondered if I shouldn’t have admitted my feelings. A guy saying he refused to date didn’t have the same social implication as a woman saying she only dates.
“Why?”
I met his stare, refusing to be embarrassed. He could want what he wanted, and I could want what I wanted. There was no right. “Because I’ve seen what it’s like to live a life full of love. My parents loved each other, respected each other. And then my dad died and my mom met Eric, and somehow, I was lucky enough to see love in my house for a second time. That kind of love impacts you. You don’t want less than the real thing when you’ve seen it firsthand.”
“I guess that’s the problem. I’ve never seen it.”
My gaze locked on his, my heartbeat erratic for reasons that had nothing to do with exercise. “I’m sorry for how I acted the day after we were together,” I said, my voice low. “For kicking you out and saying you were a twenty-eight-year-old without a job. That wasn’t fair.”
The corners of his mouth twitched. “You didn’t say I was a twenty-eight-year-old without a job.”
“Oh. I must have just thought it.”
The grin spread and he took a step toward me, humor switching to longing at the mention of our time together. “I had a great time with you. If I did the dating thing, I would have wanted to date you.” His eyes darkened, and I held my breath, knowing I should stop this. That he should stop this. One of us should stop this. But I couldn’t pull away. His head dipped down, so close I could almost taste the mint on his breath, but then his back went rigid and he backed up, his irises so dark they appeared black. “I…we should probably get going. The cleaning crew will be here soon.”
I tried to steady my breathing, calm down my heart, but there was no nursery rhyme to get me through this. A shiver worked its way down my spine as I peered over at him, only to find him biting his lip like it took every bit of strength in his body not to close the distance between us.
Just then the gym door opened, and a cleaning cart came into sight, followed by a small old man. “Sorry. I thought the office was empty.”
Aidan’s gaze swept from me, and he waved him in. “No, come in. We were just leaving.”
I swallowed hard. “Right…just leaving.”
Chapter Ten
“So, where do you want to eat lunch?” Alexa stood beside my cube, her bag already slung over her shoulder. I’d already turned her down three days in a row, so I couldn’t say no. The problem was I had next to no money in my account. I could afford to spend ten dollars on lunch, which left me with barely enough cash to grab the toilet paper Lauren had asked me to pick up on my way back to our apartment. Everything else was for bills.
I had been on the job for nearly a week, but due to the pay schedule, I wouldn’t receive my first check for another week. Which meant I needed to bring my lunches from home, else I’d starve.
Aidan and I had fallen into a professional pattern after the events in the gym. He’d say hi, I’d say hi. Nothing less and nothing more. He was the last person to leave the office every day, and I made it a point to leave with everyone else, so as not to tempt myself into knocking on his door, on looking into those brown eyes and telling him I’d rethought my commitment-girl stance and was willing to do the no-dating thing, break all the rules, whatever, just to feel his lips on mine again.
It was bad enough that I had to work with him every day, but my dreams were becoming a problem all on their own. I had fantasies that could fill the most erotic novel on the planet, and then I would have to see him the next day and pretend that I hadn’t just dreamed about him being in my bed.
“So…?” Alexa asked, pulling me back to the moment.
“Right. Yeah, sure, but can we go affordable? I’m kind of tight until payday.”
She smiled that sympathetic smile that Grace always flashed to Lauren and me. Alexa’s parents owned some major computer software company that I’d never heard of, but apparently it was doing very well.
“I can cover you,” she said, causing me to cringe. I hated the idea of anyone helping me out. There was just something about doing it on my own, about suffering, and then finding myself on top at the end of my struggle. “Besides,” she said, lowering her voice and glancing around, “I have gossip, and I need someone to share it with.”
“About who?” I whispered.
She glanced around again. “Aidan.”
Suddenly my insides turned to ice. I grabbed my bag and nodded to Alexa for us to go. A cold front had blown in, making the October air feel like early winter. I shivered beneath my peacoat, wishing I’d opted for pants instead of skirt and boots.
Alexa waited until we were seated at a small sandwich shop around the corner before blurting out, “Guess who I saw out last night?”
The smells of freshly baked bread filled my nose, making my stomach all the more uncomfortable with this topic. I didn’t want to hear what she was going to say next, but it was like a car accident. I couldn’t look away. “I’m guessing Aidan?”
A devilish grin spread across her face. Oh God, she was going to tell me that she slept with him, that she’d seen his body in all its glory. I braced myself as she leaned in. “He showed up at that new club, Blaze, last night, and I swear, every woman was trying to talk to him. I’d never seen anything like it. But here’s the juicy part.” She eyed the shop to make sure none of our coworkers were there, listening to us gossip. “He left with Misha Kyle, the freaking Victoria’s Secret model. She went up to him as soon as he walked in, and then they left together. I wouldn’t be surprised if photos showed up in the gossip magazines this week.”
I forced myself to draw a breath, or else my entire body would turn green with envy. Misha Kyle. I knew next to nothing about modeling, but everyone knew Misha Kyle. She was that girl every girl in America wanted to look like. Long tousled hair, perfect golden skin, legs that went on for days and days. And she was with Aidan. Ugh.
Alexa had said he had a reputation, but I’d never seen it firsthand, so I’d pretended that the rumors were just that—rumors. But Aidan said he didn’t date, which meant he only hooked up. Clearly, his latest conquest was Misha Kyle.
She continued to tell me every single detail about Aidan and Misha, and by the time we returned to the office, I was wishing for a touch of amnesia so I could forget everything she’d said. I started back for my desk, desperate to finish this day so I could go out with Grace and Lauren that night and hopefully find a decent guy to distract me, when I heard my name called from behind. I knew that voice. Could I keep walking like I’d never heard him?
“Cameron?”
Dammit.
Turning slowly, I cleared my face of all emotion. Aidan stood in his doorway, wearing a light blue dress shirt and black slacks and looking like he’d just walked off a photo shoot. Probably one where he was naked with Misha. Ugh, ugh, ugh. I had no right to be this upset. He and I weren’t a thing. We weren’t even friends. But we’d hooked up, and I couldn’t undo that in my mind. To me, he would always be UT Guy first, Aidan second.
“Yes?”
Several employees passed before he said another word. He looked around the office and then back to me, like he wasn’t sure how to talk to me after the gym. Having sex was one thing, but we’d both exposed pieces of our pasts now. He knew my dad had died, and I knew his wasn’t a good man. “Cameron…”
He studied me a moment longer, and I realized I both hated and loved his stare. He stared at you as though you were complex and important. As though his mission in life was to figure you out. It was overwhelming and intoxicating all at the same time. “Creative sent a few quick mock-ups for Blast. Would you like to look them over?”
“Sure.” I glanced around for a hard-copy proof, but didn’t see one. “Um, sorry, am I missing something?”
Aidan shook his head like he’d been in a daze. “They’re on my computer. I didn’t want to wait for hard copies. Do you have a minute?”
“Um, yeah. Yeah, of course.” I followed him into his glass office, conscious of how visible we were to the rest of the staff. My thoughts went to the last time we were alone together, the charge between us so intense there was no pulling away. God, I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to do more than just kiss him. Forget the rules and complications, I wanted to wrap my arms around him and see if his body remembered me the way mine so clearly remembered him. I tried to shake the thought from my mind, but it was too late. My body buzzed with desire.
“So, the mock-ups?” I asked, desperate to get in and out of his office as fast as possible.
“Right.” He moved his mouse to wake his computer, and instantly the most beautiful ad I had ever seen filled the screen. It was masculine. It was edgy. And it was mine. Something about seeing your idea put into reality was so absolutely breathtaking. Unlike anything I had ever experienced. I covered my mouth with my hand, fighting to keep from squealing with excitement.
On the left was a boy with a Band-Aid under each of his eyes. He was tiny and wearing a football uniform that looked two sizes too big. He had a frown on his face. And then to the right was Charlie Spike. Heisman contender. One of the best quarterbacks in the country. In place of the Band-Aids were two black stripes. He looked fierce and tough, everything a young boy wanted to be when he grew up. It was a perfect transformation. Colored sweat slipped down his face, and at the bottom were the words “Blast Water, turning kids into athletes.”
“It’s amazing.”
“It’s a great feeling, huh?”
I studied the ad, and the longer I stared at it, the more I realized something was missing. It looked too manufactured, too fake. It didn’t resonate like it should.
Aidan cocked an eyebrow at me. “What?” he asked.
“Nothing. It’s just, something isn’t right. It’s good. Yet, there’s something…”
He focused back on the screen, his eyebrows threading together. “You’re right. It’s close, but we need it to be perfect.” He started to say something else, but stopped.
Now it was my turn to ask, “What?”
“Nothing. You—nothing.”
I closed my eyes for a second to give me the courage to say what I needed to say next. The tension between us had been excruciating all week. When we were alone in the gym, everything was fine. But being around the office, with the awkward hellos and avoiding each other’s eye contact in meetings—enough was enough. We were working in the same office, on the same project. We needed to put that night behind us.
I glanced quickly at the door and then leaned in closer and lowered my voice. “Look, so we had sex. It doesn’t have to be a thing. It’s nothing. No big deal.”
Aidan raised his eyebrows as a slow grin spread across his face. “Actually, I was just going to tell you that you have a little mustard on your cheek. Right there.” He pointed at my left cheek, and my entire body burned red and splotchy. There was no containing this embarrassment.
I took a step back, my eyes on anything but him. “Oh, right. Thanks.” I swiped at the spot and glanced down at my hand, but nothing came away. I started to go for it again, when he stood and slowly walked toward me. My heartbeat sped up with each step, and then he reached out and ran his thumb across my cheek, sending a surge of tingles from my cheek to my toes. I wanted to look out into our office, check to see if others could see us, but I couldn’t bring myself to look away from him. And then he lifted his thumb to his mouth and licked away the mustard, and holy. Hell. My already-heated body burst into flames.
He held my gaze as his arm dropped back to his side. “And it is a big deal. To me. It’s all I can think about.”
Chapter Eleven
“Aidan, I need your signature on—” Dorothy, Aidan’s assistant, stopped inside the door. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were in a meeting.”
Aidan turned slowly to face Dorothy, his expression as relaxed as ever. “We were just finishing up.”
“Okay, thanks, Aidan. I’ll get right on this.” I sped out of his office and back to my cube, drawing a long breath as I sat down in my chair. He can’t stop thinking about it? As in, he’s worried, or he can’t stop thinking about me? It didn’t matter. It meant nothing, because we were nothing and never would be any more than nothing. Rules were rules. And he didn’t date. Even if the company rule weren’t there, I couldn’t get involved with him. I’d known my whole life the kind of guy I wanted. A family man, who adored his parents and wanted kids of his own someday. Aidan wasn’t my guy.
With the phrase firmly set in my mind, I threw myself into my work. Researching, checking emails, reviewing a few mock-ups creative had sent me for other projects. My phone vibrated against my desk, and I peered over to see a string of texts from Grace and Lauren. I read the trail, my face breaking out into a giant smile with each text.
Grace: We’re going out tonight. Like, hook up, embarrassed-the-next-day, going out.
Lauren: I have $0.10 in my bank account. Scratch that. Shit. I’m negative again. Fuck, why does this keep happening to me?
Grace: Because, silly girl, you refuse to actually keep a budget. If you’d listen to me, you’d have plenty of money.
Lauren: Says the girl WITH plenty of money. Where are you, Cameron? I need to know I’m not alone in the poorhouse.
I quickly texted back that I, too, had next to nothing in my account and asked if we could go out on Friday instead. It was twenty-four hours away and Lauren’s payday. Surely Grace wouldn’t argue.
Grace: Fine, but if you go out tonight without me I’m going to be super pissed.
Lauren and I both responded at the same time with a Never , then I eyed the time and quickly began throwing my things into my bag. It was almost seven now. Where had the day gone? The last thing I wanted was to be stuck here with Aidan—alone. I wasn’t sure I could keep myself from asking him what he’d meant.
