by Melissa West
I leaned forward, unable to stay away with such a sad look on his face. “Enough that I told Gayle I wouldn’t end this.”
“Enough that you would stay, be mine, even if I weren’t here? Even if weeks, months passed without seeing me?”
“What are you saying?”
Aidan raked a hand through his hair and stood up, pacing the floor as I’d done just moments before. “They’re making me choose—either you’re let go with a generous severance or you get to keep your job…but I have to take over in London.”
“No. They can’t do that. You can’t leave. We’re just getting started. This…we…I’ll just quit. I can find another job.”
“They’re holding to the non-compete, Cameron. If you quit, you’ll be lucky to find another agency to take you on. Same for me.”
“But what if I let them fire me? Doesn’t that clear the non-compete?”
“Yes, but everyone in advertising will know why you were fired. This will wreck your career, and the partners know it. They’re using this to their advantage to force me to go to London.”
I started to say something else when I noticed the expression on his face. How did I not see it before? “You’ve already decided, haven’t you?”
“What choice did I have?”
Tears brimmed in my eyes, threatening to fall, everything crashing around me. Either I kept my career, but the man I loved would be an ocean away, or I gave up my dream and his so we could stay in the city, together. “This isn’t right. I won’t let you do it. You said it yourself, your life is here.”
“I care about two things, Cameron—advertising and you. I know this business, and you’re a natural. I can’t let you ruin your career because of me. I won’t. I’m not my father. Through you, I’ve realized that, and as much as it’ll kill me to be away from you, I won’t be selfish with this.”
I took a step toward him, searching my mind and heart for some argument, some response that could convince him that he was wrong. But there were no other options for us—the non-compete had our hands tied. This wasn’t a situation where we could quit and find another job tomorrow. We were locked out of advertising for a year if we left Sanderson-Lowe.
“I’ll use Dad’s money to float me while I search for another job. Something outside advertising. He would want me to use it for something important. Well, this is important.”
Aidan shook his head slowly. “I can’t let you do that. You should use it to invest in something, something for your future.”
“I would be—us.” But I could see the pain on his face. Using Dad’s money would only make him feel guilty for causing me to use it. “How long do we have?”
His eyes met mine. “I leave in a week.”
“A week?” The words barely escaped before I broke into sobs. Aidan pulled me to him and stroked my hair as I cried into his chest. Everything came back to me at once. The first time we met. That first kiss in the bar. The first time we made love. Each memory like a sharp stab to the heart.
“But I just found you.”
Aidan walked me back to the couch and cradled me in his lap. “You’re not losing me. It’s only time. We can see each other every few months.” The word held between us, just how long “months” truly was. I thought of the agony when he was in London before, and a strangled cry broke from my lips as I cried even harder. Months.
I’d finally found my perfect person, my other half, and now he was leaving. How would we survive that kind of separation? And then even if we were to get married, I’d have to move there, away from my family. I loved Aidan, but maybe love wasn’t enough.
Chapter Thirty
I didn’t want to go to the airport. I didn’t want to say that final good-bye, kiss his lips one final time. I wanted to wallow in my bed for three weeks until he returned to me, but relationships were not solo things. He needed me to be there, to see him walk away from me, and so we walked hand in hand into the airport, my heart breaking little by little with each step.
Aidan didn’t say a word the entire ride over, like there were no words for this, no speech that could make it all right. It wasn’t all right. He was leaving, and I was staying, and nothing could ever make it all right.
JFK was as crowded as ever, the intense winter air outside making the airport seem even more cramped and hot. I yanked off my scarf, frustrated that I’d put it on, then my coat, then started for my sweater when Aidan stopped me. “I’m sorry.”
I looked up at him. We were just outside security, as far as I could walk with him. “It isn’t your fault I put on seven layers of clothing,” I said, attempting to smile, but my mouth wouldn’t quite work right.
He ignored my attempt at humor, his gaze on me, refusing to let go. “I’m sorry I agreed to London. I’m sorry I didn’t try harder. I’m sorry I haven’t told you a thousand times how much you mean to me. Because you do. You mean everything to me. And if you tell me you don’t want me to go, then I’ll stay. For you, I’ll stay.”
My gaze dropped, my throat closing up. I told myself I wouldn’t cry here. That I would say good-bye to him with a smile on my face, a positive attitude…and then I’d bury myself in my bed for the rest of the weekend. But as I took in his misery, I couldn’t keep my feelings hidden any longer.
“I don’t want you to go. But I don’t want you to stay, either. I know what that will mean to your career, and I can’t do that to you. You’re a legend, Aidan Truitt.” I blinked away tears and smiled up at him. “That legend isn’t dying today.”
He pulled me to him, kissing the top of my head, then cupping my face with his hands, he pressed his lips to mine. “Three weeks?”
“It’s nothing.” It was everything.
“And we’ll talk every day.”
“Numerous times a day.” And it still wouldn’t be enough.
He checked his watch, the time looming closer to his departure. “I have to go,” he said.
“I know.”
“I don’t want to go.”
“I know that, too.”
My heart sank as I peered up at him, wishing I could erase the sadness on his face, the worry lines that were etched around his eyes, the deep frown on his perfect mouth. “I’ll miss you,” I said finally, rising up to kiss him again.
“Every day.”
And then our time had expired, and he walked away, disappearing in the crowd.
Chapter Thirty-One
I lay on my bed, Grace on one side of me, Lauren the other, while Richard Gere told Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman that the apartment was the best he could offer, and though I knew it was just a movie and life was so much more complicated, I couldn’t help comparing it to my life. Because it had been two weeks since Aidan left for London, me standing strong at the airport while his plane took off, carrying him away from me. I didn’t cry until I was outside, and then it took me another week to finally stop.
“I’ve seen this movie a thousand times, and every time, I get sad when ‘It Must Have Been Love’ starts to play,” Grace said. “God, what a sad song.”
The song began to play as if on cue, and Lauren reached for my hand, somehow sensing this could be my undoing.
“When do you see him again?” Lauren asked. She didn’t look at me when she asked the question. She knew me so well.
“One more week.”
“That’s not that long.”
It was an eternity. Already, the two weeks apart had been hard. I missed talking to him about my day, discovering his thoughts on new campaigns, watching movies and sleeping cuddled close. It was weird how we settled into our routines, how we grew comfortable with the people in our lives. So when they left, they took a little piece of you with them and you never felt whole again until they returned.
And that’s where I was—a half person. Realizing the people in our lives were what mattered, not our jobs, not our successes. The people.
My phone vibrated against my stomach, and I peered down to see a text from Aidan, asking if I was around to FaceTi
me. We’d gotten into the habit of FaceTiming daily, and it helped. But it also made it worse.
Grace and Lauren waved that they were going to leave my room. The movie was over anyway. Richard Gere came for Julia Roberts, and they kissed, and all was perfect in the world. If only life could be so simple…
I answered the FaceTime call on the first ring, and there he was, in his bed, his blond locks messy and wet, and my heart clenched even tighter, my eyes burning, but I never allowed myself to cry on these calls. I didn’t want to ruin the few moments we had.
“How was work today?” he asked.
I shrugged. “Same. Gayle brought in some new furniture company. Everyone’s excited. Alexa quit.”
“Quit?”
“Yeah, apparently the guys in creative were being mean to her.”
Aidan smiled and settled further in his bed. “They always liked you.”
I laughed. “Oh, I think this has more to do with loyalty to you. Your replacement starts tomorrow. Ellen Price. They say she’s cutthroat.”
The call grew silent for a moment, the sounds of New York calling from outside, reminding me that I loved this city. I loved the constant feel that I was never alone. It was never quiet. The city was awake no matter what. But the comfort I’d always felt here didn’t warm me like it should, and it occurred to me that everyone who mattered to me, beyond Lauren and Grace, was a plane ride away. Miles and miles and miles away. All for what? A job? A title? Suddenly those things no longer seemed like enough. Like Julia Roberts in the movie, I wanted it all. I wanted the fairy tale.
It took me a moment to realize I’d zoned out, that Aidan was talking, then I heard him say Ellen’s name and noticed his tone had changed. “Sorry, what did you say?”
“Let me know how things go tomorrow with Ellen. Let me know if you have any problems.”
“Why would I have problems?”
“Just…let me know.”
I nodded. Great. If Aidan was worried, she must know our story.
Sighing, I tucked myself into my covers and closed my eyes. “I miss you.”
He cleared his throat, and I opened my eyes, curious what emotion I would find, some hint at what he was truly thinking, but he just looked…sad. “Every day,” he said, repeating what he’d said at the airport. “Cameron, I…” My eyebrows lifted, my heart speeding up as I waited for him to finish the phrase I longed to hear. The words I longed to say. But then he released a breath and said, “Sleep well.”
I bit down on my bottom lip to keep it steady. “You, too.”
Chapter Thirty-Two
I hadn’t even set my bag down at my desk before a voice from behind me said, “Cameron, right?”
I spun around to a sharply dressed woman just outside my cube, her red hair pulled back into a tight bun, her expression unreadable. “Yes. Cameron Lawson. I’m an account manager.”
The woman studied me, as though she expected someone else. Was she a client? Was she lost? Then she held out her hand. “I’m Ellen Price. I would love to speak with you for a moment if your schedule is open.”
I straightened, remembering Aidan’s warning from the night before. Ellen Price might think she knew my story, but I earned my place here, and I was damn good at my job. My relationship with Aidan didn’t change that fact.
She closed the door behind her and sat down at her desk. “Cameron, I wanted to speak to you about Aidan.”
Before she could say another word, I started in, anger building in my chest. “Ms. Price, I have no doubt that you have an opinion, and I understand your hesitation, but I assure you, I am a dedicated employee. I will work hard. My relationship with Aidan doesn’t impact my job. It never has.”
Ellen smiled. “I can see why he’s attached to you.”
I froze. “I’m sorry, what?”
She leaned forward, her hands threaded on the desk in front of her—Aidan’s desk. The thought made my heart tighten. One more week, seven little days. I could do this. “Aidan and I went to Columbia together. He recommended me for this position. He and my husband are old friends. We’re happy that he’s found you.”
“Oh.” Wow. This was not at all the conversation I expected. “Um, thank you. I’m sorry.”
Ellen laughed. “No, I appreciate your drive. Don’t worry, your relationship doesn’t impact your role here. It doesn’t define you.”
I smiled at her, relief pouring over me.
We left her office for the morning meeting, and I forced myself to keep my head high, my face indifferent as Ellen called Aidan into a conference call for the meeting. One of our new clients was a large international food chain, which would require a unified campaign.
“Good morning,” he said, the sound of his voice causing goose bumps to spread over my skin, my heart to become heavy. Even now, after all these months together, I was still captivated by his control in a meeting. No one oozed confidence and control like Aidan. He launched into the London office’s role in the campaign, and then the call was over as quickly as it had begun. I fought the urge to ask him to stay on the line, to talk to us just a little longer. The room felt so empty without him there.
“Okay,” Ellen said once Aidan was off the line. “Cameron, you’ll be assisting Gayle and me with this campaign.”
“Absolutely,” I said, hoping my voice sounded more even than I felt. The last major campaign I’d worked on had been with Aidan. My mind drifted back to those first few weeks. We did make a great team.
The meeting ended shortly after, and Ellen patted my back. “It gets easier.”
I glanced up. “What does?”
“The distance. My husband’s a marine, so I know firsthand how lonely it can get. Let me know if you need anything.” And then she disappeared out of the conference room, back to her office.
My phone buzzed with a new text just as I returned to my desk.
Aidan: This is killing me.
I placed the phone against my chest, then texted back.
Me, too. Can you move your meeting up so you fly home sooner?
Aidan: My schedule won’t allow it. Can you fly in for a long weekend? Hell, I’d pay for a private plane at this point.
I grinned. I hate when you say things like that.
Aidan: You love it.
Me: It’s just one more week, right?
Aidan: You’re right…
Me: I hate being right.
Another boyfriend might ask me to dip into my dad’s money, might even make me feel guilty that I wouldn’t. But Aidan understood me and my reasons, which made me love him all the more. My chest clenched at the memory of us at the airport, the words right there, begging to be said. It was the movie moment, that scene where the lovers proclaimed their true feelings, and suddenly music began to play, and they kissed, and you knew everything would be all right. But as I stared at Aidan that day, I knew that wasn’t our story. I would say those words and it would change nothing. He would still board the plane, and I would still be in New York, because that was life, and I didn’t want to tell him I loved him under such depressing circumstances. I wanted to say it when we were both at our best, when the moment was alive with excitement and hope and joy.
Aidan: So one more week, then?
Me: One very long week. Call tonight?
Aidan: I’ll be waiting by the phone.
I turned my phone off and tucked it into my bag, knowing if I didn’t I wouldn’t get any work done at all.
…
I waited until Ellen left for the day and then slipped out, desperate to be alone for a moment so I could think. The frigid night air cut through my coat, while tiny snowflakes danced all around me. Tilting my head back, I allowed them to drop onto my face, basking in the magic of the snow in the lights of the city. Back home, it rarely snowed, and if it did, only an inch at best. But here, snow would continue until everything looked as though it’d been covered in white icing, and for a day it would be the most beautiful thing in the world. But then the snow became dirty slush, and the
re were no snow days. No calling into work because you couldn’t get down your driveway. Though I wished we did have snow days, if only so I could spend the night talking to Aidan as long as he could stay awake, and then let his voice carry me off to sweet dreams.
An overwhelming sadness hit me, and I stopped walking. This was my life now. There wasn’t an expiration date to this situation. No counting down the days and then everything would be fine. After these three weeks, we would have another three weeks, or a month, or two months. And then what? Would two months become six? I started to grab a cab and decided instead to walk around, to allow the city to distract me. But as I walked, memories would hit, one after the other, each playing out until finally I couldn’t take it anymore and a sob burst from my lips. I had no idea how long I’d been walking, but my fingers and toes were now numb, my face tingly from crying, and I just wanted to go home. But not just home. I wanted to go home to Aidan. I wanted him to wrap me in his arms and stroke my hair until everything felt perfect again. But that wasn’t my life anymore.
This was my life.
And now that I’d allowed the tears to begin, they wouldn’t stop. I pushed into my apartment building, glad to be out of the cold, and then took the elevator up to my floor. As soon as I unlocked my apartment and the door was safely shut behind me, I slumped to the floor, my head in my hands, as I cried tears for everything I wanted in my life, and everything I now knew I would never have.
“Cameron?” Lauren said. “Are you all right? Did something happen with Aidan? Is that why he called?”
My head snapped up. “Aidan called you?”
“Yeah. I had a missed call from him, but he didn’t answer when I tried to call him back. Then I called you and it went straight to voicemail. I was freaking out that something had happened. I almost called your mom.”
“You didn’t.”
“No, but I was worried. Have you talked to him lately?”
“Yeah, I talked to him—wait, what time did he call? I haven’t talked to him since this morning.”
