The smile faded from her face. Oh, how she’d wanted to tell Nash about Bonny. She’d even tried calling once, only to hang up when the sound of his voice over the telephone line had reminded her too much of the time she’d spent with Chad.
Not that she never thought about Chad. It was just that the sound of Nash’s voice had brought everything too close to home.
Oh, she had thought about Chad, all right. Beyond wondering what his response to learning about Bonny would be, she had replayed the night of their breakup so many times she swore the memory itself was frayed at the edges. She recalled all too clearly his words—remembered her own.
“Mmm, you taste good.” Chad entered the apartment and crept up behind her, playfully nuzzling her neck.
Hannah leaned into his kiss, and felt the familiar shiver skitter across her skin. She didn’t have to be reminded why she wanted to spend the rest of her life with Chad Hogan. He was sexy, funny, mouthwateringly gorgeous and made her feel whole whenever he was around. For the first time in so very long, she felt as if she belonged somewhere. With someone. With Chad.
Then she shifted the bank statement she’d been holding so he could see it, trying to ignore the provocative way he caressed her shoulders left bare by her tank top. “Chad, where’s the money from our savings account?”
Then her stomach did a funny little flip. Maybe he’d bought her a ring! An engagement ring. Her heart hammered hopefully against the wall of her chest.
“Why don’t we forget about that for now,” Chad said and flashed that sexy, irresistible grin that had endeared him to her from the beginning. “I’ve got something else on my mind. More specifically, someone else.” He dangled a set of keys in front of her eyes. “Happy birthday, Hannah.”
She slid her gaze from his bedroom eyes and his tousled golden-brown hair, to where his blue T-shirt hugged his well-toned abdomen, then she focused on the keys he held out. Since so many holidays had gone by uncelebrated in the past, she’d nearly forgotten about her birthday. Today she turned thirty.
Chad tugged on her waist. “Come here.” He nudged her toward the window, his breath teasing her ear, his arms curving around her waist from behind. His body pressed against hers, reminding her how perfectly they fit together.
“Look down there,” he said, pointing toward the street.
Right outside the Laundromat sat a cherry-red Alfa with a huge gold bow on the hood.
“It’s an Alfa Romeo drop-top,” Chad told her, blazing a trail down her arm with his fingertips, then pressing the keys into her hand. “And it’s all yours.”
Hannah stared at the car as if it were a red sun spot that would disappear if she blinked quickly enough. Or transform into an oversized mutant velvet box in which there would be a ring. But no matter how many times she closed her eyes, the car was still there when she opened them again.
Chad squeezed her hand and the keys bit into her palm.
“I don’t know what to say….” she began in an unsteady voice.
“Come on. Let’s take her for a spin.”
She remained standing at the window, as if frozen in place.
“What’s the matter?” Chad asked. “You don’t like the color?”
“Color?” Her stomach suddenly pitched to her knees. He hadn’t clue one why she was so upset. “No, I don’t like the color, Chad. I want you to take it back.” Her mind spun with all the plans she’d managed to spin in such a short time. A ring. Marriage to Chad. A family… “I want you to take it back and get me…oh, I don’t know, a bracelet or something. Or maybe a ring.”
The words had gushed out before she could blink.
Suddenly the room had seemed far too big. Only a few feet separated them, but it might as well have been miles.
“I—I can’t believe you did this,” she whispered. “You nearly emptied out our savings account to buy an impulsive gift that will be more of a problem than a blessing in New York. That money was supposed to pay for Seekers…and maybe, um, a nice little, intimate wedding—”
“Whoa! Hold on a minute here. Ring? Wedding?” Chad had broke in, strands of sandy-brown hair falling over his raised brow.
Hannah braced herself against the unpromising, painful shadow that crossed through his gray eyes.
“Yes, wedding. You know, the ceremony performed when two people get married? Make a lifetime commitment to each other? Certainly it’s not the first time you’ve heard the word, Chad. After all, you were married before.”
He paced a little ways away. “Yeah, and it’s something I don’t plan on doing again, so get over it.”
Hannah’s heart gave an aching squeeze. “Over it?” she’d whispered. “Over it? What do you think I have? The flu?”
“Something like that.” Chad rubbed his hands down the length of his jeans. He looked suddenly untouchable, making her want to touch him all the more.
“But, Chad, I think we should talk about this.”
He’d turned back to her suddenly. “No, Hannah. If you would stop talking long enough to listen to what I have to say, we wouldn’t be having this argument right now. Look, the last thing I want to do is hurt you—”
“Hurt me?” Yes, he had hurt her. “You never had any intention of making a…making a commitment to me, did you, Chad?”
He held her gaze and said simply, “No.”
Hannah stood under the cool shower spray, resisting the urge to nudge up the temperature to chase away the chill left by the memory of Chad’s rejection. She only wished the water could wash away the confusing emotions clinging inside as easily as it cleansed her skin. What was she going to do now?
Only eight hours earlier she thought she’d never see Chad again. Now she was sharing a motel room with him. She caught her bottom lip between her teeth and thrust her head under the spray to ward off all the intimate thoughts that went along with their close proximity.
Before she and Chad split up fifteen months ago, their relationship had been basically carefree—until she found out she wanted the whole ball of wax. She wanted what she had never had—the until-death-do-you-part, happily-ever-after love, the white picket fence, 2.2 children, a husband who loved her…All of it. She’d wanted all of it.
But while her priorities had changed, Chad’s hadn’t.
Then she’d discovered she was pregnant.
When, two weeks after her and Chad’s breakup, the doctor told her she was almost two months pregnant, she’d had no idea where to go, what to do. Should she tell Chad? Should she handle it herself? And what if she did tell Chad? Would he marry her for the baby’s sake? Or would he turn his back on her? Neither prospect had emerged particularly inviting, so she had gone it alone. And had never experienced a moment of regret…until now.
No, that wasn’t totally true. When she was six months pregnant, long after he’d left the city, she’d reasoned he at least had a right to know. She held no illusions that learning the truth would change his mind, bring him back. She simply thought he should know that in a few short months, he was going to be a father…again. Then a search for him turned up nothing. He’d essentially disappeared from the face of the earth. Not even his uncle Nash had known where he was.
It wasn’t until Bonny was two months old that she’d learned Chad was in Florida, and Jack Stokes, of all people had supplied this bit of information. By then, Hannah figured she had pretty much set her own course and owed Chad little. Besides, he had made it perfectly clear he didn’t want another family with both words and actions.
She rinsed the soap from her skin, remembering the day Bonny was born. Her daughter had given her what she hadn’t had since her father died: family. Unconditional love, a connection to something much bigger than herself. Her entire take on life had shifted, revolving around the importance, the joy, of raising her daughter.
Chad’s voice filtered through the door. Hannah quickly shut the water off. Was he talking to her? Bonny’s playful squeal followed.
He’s talking to the baby.
&nb
sp; Hurrying back into her clothes, Hannah opened the door. Chad had his back to her, sitting on the bed feeding Bonny her bottle of juice with one hand, and holding up a newspaper in his other. Bonny’s fascination was such that it stopped her from climbing from the bed and grabbing everything in sight to stick into her mouth. She was actually still. At least as still as Bonny ever got.
Hannah watched her daughter grunt and kick her pudgy legs.
“Another story? Demanding as your mom, aren’t you?” Chad said and squeezed Bonny’s foot. “Okay, then, let’s take a look at this one….” He picked up the paper again. “In a stunning upset, the last-place Mets beat the top-ranked Braves after twelve grueling innings of play….”
Hannah’s heart expanded at the way he made the sports piece sound like Cinderella. How many times had she awakened in the dead of night having dreamt of just such a scene? Longing for Chad to be a part of their lives? A part of Bonny’s life?
She blinked, reminding herself that his presence now was only temporary. That he would end up hurting her again when he walked away at the end of their man-hunt. But that didn’t bother her half as much as the thought of what his leaving would mean to Bonny.
Hannah slid open a drawer then closed it, relieved when Chad stopped reading and jumped from the bed. Bonny cried out and she stepped forward to prop the juice bottle back up. She murmured reassurances to her daughter and smiled when she instantly settled back down.
Hannah stood…and found herself very nearly in Chad’s arms when she turned. Her gaze slowly slid up to his face, the dark expression in his eyes making her shiver, even as her body tingled in overwhelming awareness. He looked confused, angry and restless…and about ready to kiss her.
Despite everything else going on around and inside her, Hannah wished he would. Wished he would just claim her mouth with his and ban every other thought and emotion from her mind. Her tongue darted out to moisten her lips. He watched the unconsciously evocative movement with rapt, hard attention…before turning away from her.
Hannah closed her eyes against the rejection.
“The clock’s ticking,” she said quietly, breaking the silence.
He folded the newspaper he still clutched then gestured toward a small round table and two chairs positioned in front of the silent air conditioner.
“After you.” Was it her, or did his voice sound huskier than usual? “And don’t bother with the air conditioner,” he said. “It’s broken. I already called the manager. There are no other rooms available.”
Hannah rested her hand against the side of her damp neck. The last thing she needed was more heat. She leaned across the table and opened the window. Humid air arced inward, instantly filling the room. She tucked back the curtain. At least the air was moving.
A while later Hannah glanced to where Bonny had fallen back to sleep on the bed, a line of juice streaking her soft cheek. She closed the personnel file Chad had gotten from PlayCo.
“This isn’t doing us any good.”
She took a sip of iced tea she had gotten from a machine outside. The melting ice cubes clinked against the plastic cup as she poured more tea from the can.
Chad leaned back in his seat across from her. “Let’s recap. What do we have so far?”
“Aside from a pounding headache?” Hannah plucked her vest from her sweat-covered skin, finding it difficult to believe she’d taken a shower only a short time ago. “We know two employees of PlayCo Industries, Eric Persky and Lisa Furgeson, were arrested for transporting stolen highly sensitive computer microprocessor chips, which doesn’t tell us a lot about the chips except they’re worth more than five hundred dollars and a hefty bond amount.” She shrugged. “They were caught, let out on bail, which they promptly jumped.”
“Let’s not forget that PlayCo is a toy manufacturer,” Chad added. “And that Lisa is—was Quality Control Manager. Eric was something or other in shipping. Which makes it plausible that they were using their positions in order to distribute the chips.”
Hannah watched his fingers squeeze the sides of his plastic cup. A shiver scampered over her hot skin. With vivid clarity, she recalled the feel of the rough, callus-covered pads of his thumbs against the sensitive skin of her neck. There had always been an urgent, almost obsessive air about the way Chad used to make love to her, seeming completely unaware of what he could do to her heart, yet increasingly mindful of, sometimes even fiendishly wicked with, his power over her body. He’d demanded primitive reactions from her no one else had made her feel before…or since.
It had been at times like these, when they were stuck in a motel room somewhere, forced to wait until they could continue their trace, when some of her most erotic memories were created. It was exactly at a time like this that they had created Bonny.
She wiped her damp palms against the gauzy material of her skirt. “The personnel files say Lisa has a brother, but the sheet gives no first name or location, right? And the police information is so scanty it’s pathetic.”
“It’s my guess the FBI has been involved from the moment of arrest, which could explain why there’s so little info.”
She stared at him, wondering why it sounded like he knew more than he was sharing.
Apparently unaware of her scrutiny, he stretched. His jean-clad leg slid between hers under the sorry excuse for a table, rasping against her bare, suddenly oversensitive skin. She was instantly aware of every inch of male flesh a mere few feet away. When he didn’t move, she assumed he didn’t want to. Instead she shifted her legs away. She controlled the almost wild trembling of her fingers by flattening the faxed copy of the police file in front of her. It took her a moment, but she managed to compare the information with the little Elliott had given them.
She stared into Chad’s eyes and recognized a familiar shadow of awareness in the smoky-gray depths. He knows exactly what he’s doing to me.
The room was unbearably quiet. The only sounds those of ice cubes clinking in plastic glasses, the curtains stirring from the hot air drifting in through the window, and the low, even breathing of Bonny sleeping on the bed a few feet away.
Hannah lifted her hair from the back of her neck. “It’s hot in here.”
Chad watched her over the rim of his cup. “Yes, it is.” He appeared suddenly agitated, abruptly running his fingers through his sandy-brown hair. “Anyway, I think we’re looking at this thing from the wrong angle. What does what they stole have anything to do with how we find them?”
“Well, it would probably give us a better idea of exactly how much trouble they’re in. Not just with the law, but with the others who obviously want these chips. Namely the two thugs in Persky’s house.”
Chad’s gaze was on Bonny where she slept on the bed. Hannah shifted and he turned to stare at her for a long, quiet moment. She began to wonder if he’d heard her. Tucking her hair behind her ear, she thought about repeating herself when he said, “Why in the hell didn’t you tell me, Hannah?”
Chapter Five
Hannah felt as if every last molecule of air had been sucked out of the room.
“Why in the hell didn’t you tell me, Hannah?” Chad had said the words so softly she almost hadn’t heard them. But she had. Her heart constricted in her chest. There it was. One of the questions she had been expecting and dreading. The first had never come. He already knows Bonny’s his.
Chad leaned forward, his every muscle bunched. “Don’t you think I had a right to know you’d had my baby?”
On the bed, Bonny twitched involuntarily. Hannah somehow managed to speak past the lump in her throat and asked him to lower his voice. The request caused Chad’s jaw to flex and she feared he might talk louder.
“Why didn’t I tell you?” she repeated, her voice quavering despite the calm she tried to infuse herself with. How could she be calm when he looked a word away from hating her? “I didn’t tell you, Chad, because…because you didn’t want to know.”
His gaze nailed her to the opposite wall.
“
Hannah, if you say again that you can read my thoughts…”
“This has nothing to do with reading you, Chad,” she said hesitantly, trying to fill in the gap his sudden silence created. “Please understand, I did think you had a right to know. I even tried tracking you down so I could tell you. But when I couldn’t find you, I had to accept you didn’t want to know anything about me…or Bonny.”
He slowly sat back in his chair, giving her some breathing space. The distrustful expression on his face scared her more than any anger-filled stare. She’d hurt him. She was sorry for that. “You’re one of the best, Hannah. You want me to believe you couldn’t find me? Admit it, you didn’t want to, because…”
He drifted off, leaving his words to ring in her head. “Because what, Chad? Because you might not have wanted me to keep her?” All sympathy for him disappeared, and the self-reliance that had seen her through fifteen long, lonely months resurfaced, thrumming through her body like an electrical charge. “Believe me, that didn’t have a thing to do with it. No matter what you might have said, I would have kept Bonny. She’s my daughter.” She sucked in a deep breath, but it only served to give her time to find fault. “And as to my not being able to find you…I might be one of the best, but so are you. You hid yourself better than any professional con because you knew exactly what not to do. Admit it, Chad. You didn’t want to be found.”
He got up from his chair and pulled back the curtain, his solid chest rapidly rising and falling. He stood there for a long time, saying nothing, saying everything. Hannah stared at the way his brown hair curled slightly against his neck, the soft material of his blue T-shirt and jeans as they clung to his slender, corded frame. She tried to imagine what it would feel like to be in his shoes. To learn that somewhere out there her baby had been born without her knowing. A second child, because the first had been ripped from her life. To discover someone she had shared her life with had kept something so vitally important from her.
Just Eight Months Old... Page 7
