by Belle Aurora
Typical.
Leaving me, A.J. strolled over to her, and she pulled the handkerchief out of her satchel, unwrapping it carefully before placing the silver pocket watch into A.J.’s hands.
His eyes widened, and he said a hushed, “Wow.”
Manda pressed the top, opening the face of the intricately engraved watch. “This was my father’s. He gave it to me. It’s a family heirloom. See, you’re my family, A.J.” She touched his cheek. “And now I’m giving it to you.”
What she said was so touching I blinked back the sudden sentiment that swept through me.
A.J. leaned into her. “What does that say?” He pointed to the inside of the face.
Manda explained, “It says Con Affetto. In Italian, it means I love you.” She gently took his hand in hers. “My father, your grandfather, would love to meet you someday. Would you like that?”
And A.J.’s mind was blown once again. Turning slowly, he looked at Manda, and murmured, “I have a grandfather?”
Manda tipped her head back and laughed. I couldn’t help the smile that fought to be freed. He really was adorable.
“Yes,” she laughed. “You have a grandfather, sweetie. Although I’m sure he’d like for you to call him Nonno Tony.” At his astonishment, she touched a finger to the tip of his nose. “What do you say? Want to meet your nonno Tony?”
A.J. nodded slowly then more enthusiastically until finally, a sweet little smile stretched his lips.
Manda spent some time with A.J. and I insisted she stay for dinner. We ate at the table, as a family, and when Manda told A.J. she’d never met his father, A.J. responded with, “That’s okay. You can see him another time.” Then he smiled a toothy grin. “I’ll tell him you want to meet him.”
When he said those things, my heart shriveled and died a little more each time.
It was time for A.J. to go to bed, and after I tucked him in, Manda stood. “I should go. I’m afraid of outstaying my welcome.”
But I simply walked over to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of wine. “Let’s sit on the back porch.” Then I smiled at my new sister. “I’m not ready to see you go just yet.”
She looked at me with such unabashed affection in her eyes that I knew this was just the beginning. We were a small family craving more, and now that I had it, I mourned the time we spent apart. She followed me outside, and I sat on the top step leading down into the yard.
Manda joined me, holding out her glass, and I poured. She sipped at the aromatic white and made a sound low in her throat. “There’s nothing quite like Australian wine.” She held the glass up to the moonlight before putting it to her nose and taking in its fruity aroma. “There’s no comparison. Every other one just tastes like swill when put next to a Barossa wine.”
I nodded in agreement, sipping at my glass.
We sat in silence a while, before she said, “Tell me about him.” When I looked over to her, she clarified. “How was it, your relationship with my brother?”
Oh, God. What a loaded question. “How much time do you have?”
She snuffled out a laugh. “As long as it takes.”
“Okay.” I leaned back on one elbow. “You asked for it.”
I told her everything. Well, almost everything. I quietly kept out the fact that I willingly took drugs to prove to Twitch I was serious about him. I also kept out what Twitch enjoyed in the bedroom. Other than that, I let her have it. All of it.
My stomach clenched tightly.
Jesus. I missed the belt.
And by the time I was done, Manda’s eyes were wide and unblinking. “Lexi,” she muttered quietly. “That sounds awful.”
Sipping my wine, I laughed gently. “I know.” It did. It sounded horrible. “It’s hard to explain why I loved him. He wasn’t a want, Manda.” I swirled my glass, watching the wine in it spin. “He was something I needed more than I needed to breathe.”
“But the things he did....” She frowned.
“Yeah,” I agreed. “Pretty screwed up, right?”
“I just don’t understand.”
She wouldn’t.
No one did.
It wasn’t something you explained; it was something you had to have lived through to get. “He loved me so much he took a bullet for me.” I gazed over at her. “What’s to understand?”
At that, one perfectly manicured brow rose and her lips puckered. “Well, when you put it like that.” She raised her glass to me. “To the ones we love.”
Yeah. I would drink to that.
I lightly touched my glass to hers, smiling out into the yard, and spoke quietly.
“To the ones we love.”
***
Twitch
The second I opened the door, my sister glowered at me. “You son of a bitch.”
I glared back. “Why does everyone keep callin’ me that? Fuck.”
“That woman—” Manda tramped into the house. “—is the sweetest person I have ever met.” She looked so disappointed. “And you treated her like shit.” Her hands came up. “No. Worse than shit.” Her eyes narrowed dangerously. “You were mean. You were cruel. You were nasty, Tony.”
Well, someone done gone and had a nice ole chat, didn’t they?
I sighed, walking over to the fridge. “You want something?”
“I want you to stay away from her.”
Slowly, I turned to face my sister, holding her eyes with the intensity of my stare. “Say again?”
Manda’s lips thinned. “After hearing what you did to her, I don’t know why she still loves you, but she does.” She lowered her voice. “So you need to stay away from her. Because she loves you enough that she might just take you back someday.” She shook her head. “And I can’t allow that.”
Her words shook me, but I didn’t show it. My voice was calm, bored even. “That ain’t your decision to make, Mandy.”
She hated when I called her Mandy.
“I sat back while my best friend suffered through an abusive relationship. I did nothing, and Ana almost died because of it. I won’t do it again. Not ever again.”
Oh, shit. No she didn’t.
My eyes flashed. “You comparing me to Dino Gambino?” Anger bubbled low in my gut and I gritted my teeth. My tone turned dangerous. “I fucking love that woman.”
Manda’s eyes turned sad and she started to nod. “That’s what Dino told himself too, Tony. Said he loved Ana, and that was why he did the things he did. No one had the guts to tell him he was a vile piece of shit.”
Do not fucking tell me this bitch just called me a vile piece of shit.
The anger turned to rage and it burned me, lighting my veins and pumping raw fury into my heart. I spoke low, turning and gripping the edge of the counter so hard I was surprised it didn’t break, “You watch your fucking mouth.”
“Please, Tony. Don’t do it. Don’t go back. They’re fine without you.”
That was the breaking point.
I closed my eyes and swallowed hard, trying to breathe through the physical pain of my wrath. My breathing quickly turned into heavy panting. Taking a glass from the sink, I lifted it high before slamming it back down as hard as I could. The loud smash then tinkling of the broken shards did nothing to soothe my anger.
I spun, shouting a thunderous, “I’m not fine without them!” and my sister’s body jolted as she flinched.
She had no idea what it cost me to be here. She didn’t know shit.
Blowing out a long breath, I tried to calm myself, and when I spoke, I did it quietly. “You may be my sister, but you know nothing about me, Manda. Don’t pretend you do.”
We stared at each other a long moment before my sister turned and walked out of my house, gently closing the door behind her, and those words unspoken were louder than if she’d just yelled them at me.
Chapter Six
Lexi
I watched the afternoon news in complete silence.
“Underworld figure Ling Nguyen, matriarch of the notorious Vietnamese ga
ng The Flying Dragons, has bought and taken ownership of the Darling Harbour’s infamous night club The Cross,” the reporter said.
With my arm across my stomach, hugging myself, the other came up to my throat as I listened on.
“The Cross’s reputation has diminished over the years, now known for being a meeting place for criminals and thugs alike. Nine people were killed there last year, while a staggering one hundred and three people were seriously injured on the premises, and police are baffled by the sale.”
The screen turned to a police sergeant who spoke to reporters. “If Miss Nguyen is here to do legit business, she’ll have nothing to worry about. However, we’ll be taking a special interest in the goings on at the location.”
Oh, God.
This was not good.
My phone started to ring. I looked down at the screen and answered immediately. “Julius, are you seeing this?”
“I’m watching it right now.” He paused, then uttered, “I’ll take care of it. Don’t say a word to Ana.”
Take care of it.
Take care of Ling.
My stomach coiled in on itself and my lips parted. It didn’t matter how far away these men tried to get from their pasts; it followed them, for always. I wished they would be given the peaceful lives they desired. Regrettably, too much blood had been spilt, and that was not how their world worked.
It’s not like she didn’t deserve it. Ling was the reason Ana found herself in the hands of a madman. Ling was the reason Ana was the mentally crippled woman she was today.
Yes, she deserved to die, and I quickly decided I was okay with that.
“Okay.” I licked my lips and kept my eyes on the television. “Do what you need to do.”
“Look,” he said quietly. “I don’t think she’d be stupid enough to do anything in broad daylight, but—” He hesitated. “—I’ll talk to Molly. Tell her to be vigilant.”
My sudden frown was deep. The thought of Ling near my son was enough to make me crazy with worry. It was enough to make me violent. Just let her try to come near my cub. She had no idea of what a person was capable of when it came to the safety of their child.
Julius had told me about Ling’s unnatural obsession with A.J., about how she cried openly about me being his mother and her being left without anything of Twitch. She was crazy jealous, and that made her dangerous—not that she wasn’t before, and that was the worrying part. Insane as she was, there was nothing she wouldn’t do to get what she wanted. As long as she was far, far away, it wasn’t an issue. But she was here now, in Sydney, and that meant trouble.
If I had to choose between Ling’s life and my son’s safety, Ling would lose every time. That was the simple fact.
The words I spoke were firm and unyielding. “Take care of her, Julius.”
“Leave it with me. Don’t stress,” he uttered self-assuredly, then quietly seethed, “The bitch is as good as gone.”
He spoke so confidently, so surely, before he hung up.
So why didn’t I feel any better?
It was later that night when I heard the commotion.
I jumped awake with a start and ran breathless down the hall to find Molly holding A.J. back, away from the window.
The open window.
As A.J. fought Molly’s hold, he held his arms out and sleepily cried, “Daddy, come back!”
It was then I looked down at Molly’s hand, the hand that held the gun, and I shuddered, rushing over to the window. Panting in fear, I peered outside but saw nothing.
There was no sign of anybody. And I was suddenly glad I’d asked Molly to sleep in the room adjacent my son’s.
Molly and I exchanged a panicked look.
“Daddy!” A.J. shouted, louder this time, and the anxious need in his voice was enough to coat my arms in goose bumps.
But no one was there.
***
Twitch
It was late, and I shouldn’t have been where I was, but after the fight with my sister, I needed to see my boy.
The thought of being kept away from him was enough to make me lose my fucking mind, and I didn’t care what Manda thought. That wasn’t happening.
If I were honest with myself, maybe I was out here proving a point.
To who?
Fuck knows. Myself more than anyone, I guess.
Pulling my hood up over my head, I stepped outside into the dark of night, shoved my hands in my pockets, and made the short walk down to the house. I put my hands to the windowpane and pushed slowly, listening to the light rattle as it lifted. Without a sound, I climbed inside, and the moment I saw his small, sleeping form, the bands tightening around my chest eased.
My feet carried me silently over to my son and I knelt by his bed, watching him in the moonlight, gently stroking his hair. He blinked sleepily and I smiled, whispering, “Hey, bud.”
“Daddy.” He yawned, then muttered, “I missed you.”
He was my heart. “I missed you too. I couldn’t wait to see you, so I thought I’d visit.”
That was when A.J.’s eyes shot open. “Daddy, did you know you have a sister?”
I shushed him, looking towards the door. “Quiet, A.J.”
“And you got a dad too. I’m gonna meet him one day says Aunt Manda. And I have to call him Nonno Tony, but...”
My heart started to beat faster. “A.J., bud, I need you to be quiet.”
“...I don’t know what that means. And she gave me a watch. Not like yours, it’s different, Daddy.” He pulled open his underwear drawer and pulled it out, grinning. “See?”
Fuck me, he was making a racket. I put a finger to his lips. “Quiet, bud, or Daddy’s gonna have to go.”
“No.” His face fell and his lips started to quiver. “You always have to go.” He looked into my eyes, pleading, “Stay with me. Please.”
Was that a creak, or was I hearing things?
Whispering, I stood and quickly rushed out, “A.J., I need to go...”
My little man yelled out, “No, Daddy.” Then his face bunched as he cried. “You always go!”
Fuck.
My heart was racing.
“...but I love you.” With that, I jumped out the window and sprinted as fast as I could.
As I ran, I heard him. “Daddy, come back!”
Then a quietly feminine, “A.J, what’s wrong? Talk to me.”
I swallowed past the thickness in my throat.
That was when I heard his desperate cry. “Daddy!” And it fucking gave me goose bumps.
No.
This was not good.
And when it all turned to shit, I had no one to blame but myself.
***
Lexi
“Doesn’t look like anyone broke in,” Happy uttered as he checked the surroundings of the house. He turned back, and asked, “You sure A.J. didn’t push the fly screen out?”
Tired and uneasy, I hugged myself. “I don’t know. He’s upset. He won’t talk to me.”
“And you said he was callin’ out for Twitch?”
I nodded wearily, but Happy said nothing.
What a night.
I hadn’t been able to get back to sleep after the incident. And who could blame me?
A.J.’s panicked cries were the stuff of nightmares.
When he twisted around to me, he shrugged, and said, “I don’t know what to tell ya, babe.”
“Is he...?” I blinked away the sudden rush of tears and tried again, my voice rougher than sandpaper. “I think he’s hallucinating, Happy.”
“No.” Happy frowned, stepping towards me and putting his hands on my upper arms. “Lexi, he’s not hallucinating.” His face softened and he sighed. “He’s just so desperate for his father that he’s trying to make his own memories of him. That’s all.”
“You weren’t there,” I whispered. “You didn’t hear him. The way he screamed.” I closed my eyes and shivered. “It was terrifying.”
When Happy continued to rub my arms sympathetically, I sigh
ed and stepped into him, pressing my forehead into his chest, seeking comfort. He held me as long as I needed because Happy was a great friend like that.
A long moment passed before I looked up at him, into his eyes, and stated, “I want bars put on his window.”
Without hesitation, he spoke. “I’ll make some calls.”
And just like that, I could breathe again.
***
Twitch
“You done fucked up,” said Happy as he walked inside the house
I didn’t say anything because the truth was I knew I had.
He stood in front of me, closing his eyes and stretching his neck from side to side. “Putting bars on his windows tomorrow.”
Motherfucker.
My gut sank.
Damn. I really messed up. And it was costing me my time with my son.
Fuck. I hated my life.
At my long sigh, Happy lifted his face to look at me. “What did you expect? You walk into her fucking house like you own the joint. It was only a matter of time before you overstepped, like you do, and got yourself into shit. You know what pisses me off though?” I stood silently, listening, and his eyes narrowed on me. “You’re not taking the blame for this, and you deserve to. Instead, you leave a fucking five-year-old to take the responsibility for your screwed up games.”
I wasn’t playing games. I just wanted to be with my son.
My jaw tightened, but I said nothing.
Happy laid into me. “You’re so fucking selfish, and as a result, your boy’s probably going to have to talk to a shrink. You know what’s gonna happen when they can’t find a cause for his hallucinations?” His stare was penetrating. “They’ll medicate because no normal boy sees his dead father walking around on the street, Twitch.”
My stomach twisted.
No one was medicating my boy. I would fucking die before that happened.
Didn’t he understand?
A.J. was my newest addiction. I needed him.
I needed my son, more than I needed anyone. He breathed life into me almost as much as his mother had, and if I couldn’t have her, I needed him.
“Got nothing to say?” Happy waited, but I didn’t speak.
What was the point?
He couldn’t understand. Couldn’t even begin to.
