by Lee Kilraine
“What? No, he hasn’t.”
“Yeah, he has. I didn’t think you knew.” Greer lay down on the bed next to Delaney, worming her way under the covers.
Delaney turned her head toward her sister, her features shadowed like a pencil drawing in the dark room lit only by moonlight. “Knew? I was doing all I could to get good enough grades for college and deal with Daddy. I was probably clueless about a lot of things back then.”
“Have I ever thanked you for being such a great sister? For shielding me from our parents. For raising me.”
“I don’t need thanks, dummy. I love you.”
“You saved me.”
Delaney shook her head. “No. You saved me. You gave me a reason to be strong. You were the only source of love in my life. And you were so little. I had to protect you.” I always will, even if it means from me. No way was Delaney going to burden Greer’s life with her baggage. They both had too damn much of that having grown up in this house. And it was starting to feel like the panic, anger, and nightmares were here to stay. Being alone was her best bet, but she’d never get that chance with Greer worrying the way she was.
Greer reached out for Delaney’s hand. “Do you remember when we were little and I’d crawl into bed with you?”
“Uh-huh. You made me read you Alice in Wonderland a million times.”
“Alice was the only girl I knew who had it rougher than us. And every time Alice woke up from her nap at the end, it gave me hope.”
Delaney turned her head up to stare at the ceiling fan as memories flooded in. Alice had helped her escape too. She read, drowning out the sound of the fighting downstairs, often until her voice gave out. Luckily Greer usually fell asleep before then.
“I used to cry and ask you why Mama and Daddy didn’t love me.”
Delaney’s heart tumbled over with the memory. It could have been yesterday when she wrapped Greer’s small body, wracked in silent sobs, tight in her arms, trying to comfort those lonely spaces.
“You said you loved me enough for both of them.”
“To the moon and back,” Delaney whispered.
“Yes. You don’t like to admit it, but you saved me.”
“You would have done the same for me.”
“I’m trying.”
“What?”
“You can let go now. It’s my turn to help you. You don’t have to do this alone anymore.”
I don’t know any other way.
Chapter Nine
The next few weeks settled into a routine: therapy, gym, be nice, eat. Therapy, gym, eat. So sometimes she forgot the “be nice” part. Delaney kept her head down and stayed to herself, trying to do everything and anything that would ease Greer’s mind. She talked about the weather with the elderly Simon sisters. She nodded a polite hello to the desk attendant at the gym. Heck, she even fake-smiled at Barbara over by the dumbbell rack.
She could even admit it may have been a good thing that Quinn and Greer had conspired to bring her home. Yes, she had been in a very bad place; she could look back now and see that. She could also look forward and know Greer’s optimism was a fantasy. She had about as much chance of a full recovery as she and Greer had had of going to Disneyland when they were little. Zero.
She’d never get back to the person she had been a year ago. A nurse. A runner. A woman of fairly sound mind. Her doctor had cautioned that a below-the-knee prosthesis required twenty percent more energy expenditure, but she figured, worst-case scenario, she could nurse part-time or move to a desk job. The running and the sanity seemed far out of her reach.
Okay, an assessment?
What she was gaining: Greer’s peace of mind and time with Greer.
What she was still missing: a chunk of her memory, sleep on account of the growing nightmares, the life she used to have, and her foot.
Not one clue had slipped through the thick steel walls of the amnesia vault since the explosion. Each day that went by without unraveling the shroud of mystery covering the missing weeks of her life, the fear built. In the beginning, she’d tried to tease her memory open. But as more time passed and the nightmares increased, she was left with a horrendous feeling. It was her fault people had died. She didn’t want to unravel that.
That assessment didn’t make her feel any better.
That was fine though, because she could see Greer was feeling better. Less worried. And that was what her time in Climax was all about. This was for Greer. Delaney could hold it all together for a week or two more, then head back to D.C. and let everything implode.
She parked her Jeep next to the side kitchen porch and climbed the steps thinking about the rest of her wide-open day. One thing she could put her mind to was finding a new fishing spot. She enjoyed the Zen of fishing, and it took up a nice chunk of time. Time she didn’t want to be in this house. The bridge was out since she didn’t want another run-in with Quinn.
Quinn. Darn the man, she could still hear him whisper, “What would happen if you let go and trusted me?” God, what would it feel like to let go? To lean back into the support of his strong body knowing she wasn’t alone? But it would also mean opening Pandora’s box of ugly truths that she’d been avoiding and hiding from for months now. She quaked inside with the thought of that. No, she wasn’t ready for that. Stick with the plan.
The yellow sticky note pressed above the doorknob on the screen door was a good reminder of why she needed to stick with the plan and leave town. The messages weren’t scaring her, but they emphasized two things: First, she didn’t belong here.
Second, Quinn Cates was clueless.
“ ‘People care about you,’ he says. ‘People are glad you’re back,’ he says. Quinn Cates, you don’t know what you’re talking about.” She plucked the note off the door and turned right back around to her Jeep. She would hand over the evidence to Officer Cates, and a piece of her mind along with it.
“Uh-oh. Here comes your woman and she does not look happy.”
Quinn looked up from the paperwork he was trying to slog through to see Delaney limping past the other desks in the small station toward him. She looked pissed all right, but his sick, twisted self was still happy to see her. He stood up from behind his desk and walked around to lean against the front of it. He needed every advantage he could get when taking on Delaney.
“Hey, don’t forget Henry Lee is playing cars under my desk until the new babysitter picks him up,” Hawk warned. “Try to keep the language PG.”
“Roger that,” he said without taking his eyes off Delaney, who finally slammed the brakes on her warpath five feet in front of him.
Her eyes snapped fire at him, but she stayed quiet, as if daring him to be stupid enough to step into the moment. Uh-uh. He was a patient man. He’d wait for her to take the lead.
She opened her mouth to speak, but snapped it shut and huffed out a breath. Throwing her arms in the air, she turned her back on him and walked away two paces, only to whip back around and into his space. She poked him in the chest with her finger. Once. Twice.
“Use words. I’ve never been good at charades.”
“Gah!” And then she grabbed the front of his uniform shirt in both fists, pulling him forward. She kissed the hell out of him before pushing him away. Falling back two steps, she smacked her hands on her hips and finally managed to toss some words at him. “There. Are you happy now? I kissed you, just like you said.”
“Not really, no. You’re mad and I’m in the way again.” Quinn crossed his arms over his chest, and held on to his temper. The woman still didn’t get it. He stepped forward, leaning down into her space so only she could hear. “Dammit, kiss me because you want to. Kiss me because you want me.”
“You know, wanting something doesn’t make it happen. I’ve got a lifetime of experience as proof of that.” Her gaze locked on his as her anger dissipated, deflating the energy around her. Reaching into the left pocket of her baggy sweatpants, she pulled out a sticky note and worried it with both hands.
“I don’t belong her
e. Here’s more proof.” She grabbed his hand and slapped the note in his palm. “It’s not like I care, but I thought you should know that you don’t know everything. Hang on to your hat, because here’s a crazy thought. What if that isn’t the only thing you’re wrong about?”
He stared into her golden eyes, then watched her walk away. In that moment, he couldn’t hide from the possibility that Delaney was right. Instead of being part of her solution, he was turning into part of her problem. Now might be a good time to listen to what Delaney was saying.
Releasing his curled fist, he read the crumpled note in his hand. Crap. Yep, it was looking like he didn’t have a clue. And why the hell did it feel like something deep in his chest had ripped apart?
“Qwin?”
Quinn shook his head and refocused on his surroundings. Henry Lee stood, looking up at him tugging on his pant leg. “Yeah, little man?”
“Qwin, you gots a mommy, dontcha?”
He flashed a look over to Hawk, but Hawk only shrugged his shoulders. He looked back down at Henry Lee and said, “I do. You know my mama.”
Henry Lee nodded saying, “My best friend Jordy has a mom too.”
“Now, HL, your dad’s told you about your mama.” Quinn crouched down to Henry Lee’s level and put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “You know she loves you but she had to lea—”
Henry Lee reached out his small hands and held Quinn’s lips closed. “I knows it. Daddy told me. But I found a new mommy, and I wanna keep her.” He turned his head to look up at Hawk. “Can I, Daddy?”
“Whoa, what?” Hawk stood so abruptly his chair hit the desk behind him with a thud.
“Uh-huh. That was her. The lady that talked to Qwin. That’s my princess lady.”
“A princess lady?” Quinn straightened up, hoping Hawk was following this conversation, because he felt like he’d taken a wrong turn a few sentences ago.
“Yup, only she don’t like wearin’ dresses or kissin’ frogs, but I asked Jordy and he says his mommy don’t kiss no frogs neither.”
“Any frogs,” Hawk said reflexively. He moved over and picked his son up in his arms. “HL, you can’t just pick a mommy like that. It doesn’t work that way, buddy.”
Henry Lee reached out his hands to hold his daddy’s cheeks. “It could, Daddy. She’d make a good mommy. She’s pretty, and she’s funny, and she looks like she’d be good at lots of mommy stuff.”
Hawk threw Quinn a silent plea for help.
“There’s only one problem, little man. She’s my princess. Princess Delaney.”
“Oh. Did you save her or somethin’?”
“I’m going to clue you in on a lesson I just learned.” Quinn shook his head and slid his hands in his pockets. “Princesses today are pretty tough. Princess Delaney is saving herself. I’m just here to catch her if she falls.”
“I guess you likes her a lot, huh?”
“Yeah, I do.”
“It’s okay, Daddy.” Henry wrapped his arms tight around Hawk’s neck and stuck his nose against his cheek. “I’ll keep lookin’ ’til I find us the perfect mommy.”
“Sorry to break this up, but is this the kid I’m supposed to babysit?”
All three males turned to face the voice behind them. A gauntly thin young woman who looked to be in her early twenties stood wearing angst like it had come off a New York fashion runway. Covered in ripped black clothing, layered from neck to ankle, with a studded dog-collar necklace and safety-pin earrings, she had kohl-rimmed eyes that stared a little too vacantly for a cop’s or a father’s liking. The purple Mohawk was a unique touch.
“I’m Misery, the new babysitter, but whoa, like I so didn’t get that you were a cop.” As she spoke, she snuck a hand into her oversized satchel, pulling out a small atomizer of perfume. She sprayed it over her clothes and hair. “That’s cool though. You got cable at your house, right? And snacks? I could go for a snack.”
“I bet you could,” Quinn said, reaching over to take Henry Lee from his dad’s arms. “Hawk, you’ve got this. Henry Lee, how would you like to bake cookies with Mama Cates?”
“Oooh, righteous, I could kill for a cookie,” Misery said.
“I’m getting that vibe, which is why you won’t be babysitting my kid.” Hawk’s gaze narrowed on the ex-babysitter. “Now, let’s go search your car as that cloud of weed you floated in on is probable cause.”
“Cop guy, as long as there are snacks, I’m in.”
“Qwin, is she my new babysitter?”
Quinn shook his head as he put Henry Lee down and headed out the building with him in the opposite direction from Hawk. “Not anymore, buddy. You hang with Mama C today and your daddy will keep looking for a new babysitter.”
“Okay, but I’d rather have a new mommy instead.”
Chapter Ten
Delaney walked the treadmill in the corner of the gym, her thoughts churning faster than her legs. Four weeks had passed since she’d found the cake in her kitchen. Last week, she found a typed note tucked under her windshield wiper and yesterday a Post-it note had been stuck on the screen door to the kitchen. Nothing creative or even threatening, just the repetitive demand that she “Go Away.” Quinn told her he had it under control, not to worry. She wasn’t worried. She was annoyed and possibly heading toward pissed.
Someone in Climax wanted her gone, which seemed wildly ironic since she didn’t want to be in Climax either. She was stuck here until Greer was done worrying. The urge to shut everything out clawed at her. She just wanted to pull the covers over her head and sleep, blocking out everything. Only now, she couldn’t sleep on account of the nightmare.
The nightmare that used to freak her out once or twice a week was now showing up nightly. It always started out the same, but it had taken a heinous twist. Blood. Screams. Pain—sharp and searing. The hand, every night reaching out to her for help, which she never gives. She’s immobilized. Her gaze stares down into a pair of big brown eyes. A child? Blood splatters across the child’s face. A wave crashes into her, dragging her out into a sea of blood. Her heart pounds as a shark brushes her leg. The shark clamps on, razor sharp teeth slicing into her foot, and drags her down. Down deep into her own hellish never-ending rabbit hole. Every night, she’d wake with her heart racing, sweat-soaked, afraid to dig for details, and even more afraid to go back to sleep.
She knew the nightmare was about the explosion, but she couldn’t figure out whose liquid brown eyes were looking up at her. And why she ignored the cry for help. She’d wake up struggling to breathe just as the ocean of blood filled her lungs.
Sleep’s decision to play twisted games with her had her practically mainlining anything with caffeine. The growing exhaustion was taking a toll on her chances of winning Miss Congeniality anytime soon. People at the gym had started to leave a wide swath of space for her to be alone in.
Except Quinn. No, Quinn Cates made it very clear what he wanted, only he didn’t know what a bad bargain she was—physically and emotionally. He had no respect for her bubble of personal space. He made sure his hot, toned, sculpted body entered her bubble at least once a day. He’d look at her with his light blue eyes with the melt option turned on and make it real personal. She shivered when the heat from his body warmed her cool skin every time he leaned in and adjusted her rowing machine (which didn’t need adjusting) or checked the cables on the back extension machine (that she had already checked). He’d get so close, she’d smell his Ivory soap with a hint of dark musk that made her want to lick him all over. And that pissed her off, so she’d direct all that anger into her workout, which was not good for her injured leg.
Her injured leg hurt like a bitch. Of course, it was her own fault she was still wearing the older, temporary limb since she’d missed the final fitting for her new modern prosthesis when she played hermit for a few weeks. No room for doctor’s appointments when you’re busy not sleeping, watching Sesame Street, and dulling your pain with wine.
You’d have thought that mistake would have
taught her she couldn’t hide from her problems. Nope. Her phone was filling up with messages from her doctors, but calling them back meant answering questions she didn’t have the answers to. Reality was knocking on her door letting her know she couldn’t put off calling them forever. Thank God the nurse in her wouldn’t let her neglect the daily care to maintain her prosthesis. It was probably why she was still managing. Barely.
She was so close to the edge of imploding she could feel the hum in her nerves and blood. There was a buzzing in her brain. She was nitroglycerin in a test tube about to simmer over. Pain shot up her injured leg, but that was fine with her. Pain she could handle. It was putting her life back together that was knocking her on her ass. She sucked in a lungful of air, tightened her hold on the treadmill, lowered her head, and walked faster.
Quinn was heading home from work, still grinning over his last call. He didn’t mind working nights, but he much preferred day shift. Climax was a sleepy little town overnight. After his years of being a three-sport athlete in high school and college, he was used to staying busy. His mom used to say staying busy was what kept her boys out of trouble. Well, except maybe for Tynan.
He’d been busy this morning, but it wasn’t the kind of busy he preferred. Rescuing kittens from trees, helping change tires, chasing down shoplifters, or investigating break-ins was the kind of busy that kept work interesting. Working accidents in front of the high school, on the other hand, was just plain painful. Literally. It had taken twenty minutes of listening to the youngest Marshall girl cry over the dented hood of her brand-new Mustang before she’d calmed down enough for him to fill out the accident report. Hell, it was a sweet car. It was all he could do not to cry along with her. He liked to stay busy, but not with paperwork and definitely not with crying teenagers.
The day got a little more interesting when Ol’ Jeb McClatchy’s meanest steer decided to escape his fencing over on Weaver Dairy Road. They were able to answer that age-old question, how many cops does it take to move an ornery steer out of the road? More than they had. They were about to call in the vet to tranquilize the beast, when it caught the scent of Officer Rojas’s peanut butter crackers. Scared the heck out of Rojas, but they’d quickly laid down a trail of crackers and darned if the old steer didn’t just eat his way back into the pasture.
