An Irish Doctor in Love and at Sea

by Patrick Taylor

  Melt the butter and oil in a frying pan and fry the onions over a low heat until soft and golden. Add the garlic and cook gently for a couple of minutes, being careful not to let it burn.

  Preheat the oven to 180ºC / 350ºF.

  Combine the potatoes, onions, garlic, spinach (or broccoli), half of the cheese, parsley, and seasonings and mix everything together well. Leave to cool. Then place this mixture on the pastry base in the pie tin. Pour the cream over and sprinkle the remaining cheese on top. Place the tin on a baking tray and bake in the oven for 40 to 45 minutes. Leave it to cool for about 5 minutes before cutting into thick wedges. Serve with a salad.

  CRÈME BRÛLÉE

  You may wonder what a woman from County Cork knows about foreign geegaws like this. I learned it like I told you from a friend of mine, Emer Cullen, who had worked at the Café de Paris . Himself loves to surprise visitors who think they’ll be getting a traditional County Down dinner at Number One. It’s fun to make. Give it a try.

  50 mL / 2 fluid oz. / ¼ cup whole milk

  450 mL / 16 fluid oz. / 2 cups heavy cream

  1 teaspoon vanilla essence or the seeds from 2 vanilla pods

  5 egg yolks

  75 g / 2½ oz. brown sugar, plus 40 g / 1½ oz. more for the topping

  Preheat the oven to 150ºC/300ºF.

  Pour the milk and the cream into a heavy-bottomed pan and bring it to almost a simmer, ever so gently. Add the vanilla to the mixture and give it a good stir round. Now you whisk in the egg yolks and 2½ oz. of the sugar, and pour the mixture into a serving dish or individual ramekin dishes. If you don’t have time to finish them now, you can pop them into the fridge and finish them later.

  When you are ready to continue, put the dishes into a deep baking pan and pour hot water into the pan until it reaches halfway up the sides of the dishes. This is called a bain-marie. Himself explained that this was used in an early form of chemical science to heat things very slowly and gently. But I digress. Now put the pan in the preheated oven and cook the brûlées until they are set. This should take about 30–35 minutes. Now let them cool. You can leave them in the fridge if you do not need to serve them immediately.

  Now for the topping. All you need to do is to sprinkle the remaining sugar on top of each dish and caramelise it. I just love to use my blowtorch that Donal Donnelly got for me from Belfast, but if you don’t have one you can brown them under a hot grill.

  ETON MESS

  After you have made the créme brûlèe you will have five egg whites left over. These can be frozen for later use or refrigerated. You could make a simple pavlova, of course, but I think this recipe is more unusual and simply delicious, and dear Doctor O’Reilly with his sweet tooth just loves it. He tells me that it may have been invented by a dog at a picnic, but that’s another story. You’ll need a meringue to start with.

  Meringue

  5 egg whites

  285 g/10 oz. fine white sugar

  1 teaspoon cornstarch

  1 teaspoon vinegar

  The secret for successful meringue is to make sure that not a single drop of egg yolk gets into the mixture and to ensure that your bowl and beaters are perfectly clean and grease free. I rub a splash of vinegar on a paper towel round the bowl and beaters.

  Whisk the egg whites just long enough to see them turn a greenish colour, then, still beating, add ⅓ of the sugar and continue beating for another couple of minutes before adding the next ⅓. Beat again and add the rest of the sugar. Now you should beat until it’s as stiff and glossy as can be and then add the cornstarch and vinegar.

  Place the mixture on a baking tin which you have greased and dusted lightly with flour. This stops the meringue spreading. Now bake it in the oven at 160ºC / 325ºF for ¾ of an hour. Turn oven off and leave for half an hour.

  To complete the Eton Mess you’ll need

  450 g /1 lb. strawberries and raspberries, mixed

  2 teaspoons sugar

  2 teaspoons balsamic vinegar

  2 cups /480 ml whipping or heavy cream or a mixture of cream and crème fraiche if you are trying to reduce the calories

  2 teaspoons of vanilla essence

  Mash half of the fruit with the sugar and balsamic vinegar and leave to marinate. Whip the cream with the vanilla until stiff. Take a large serving dish and create layers of meringue, cream, and fruit (mashed and whole). Decorate the top with whole strawberries and raspberries.

  ORANGE SPONGE CAKE

  This cake is very easy and quick to make using the “all in one” method.

  Cake

  175 g / 6 oz. butter

  3 large eggs

  175 g / 6 oz. self-raising flour

  1 teaspoon baking powder

  175 g / 6 oz. sugar

  rind of 1 orange, grated, and ½ the juice of the orange

  Preheat the oven to 170ºC / 325ºF and prepare 2 round 8-inch cake tins by greasing them with margarine and then a dusting of flour.

  Soften the butter and have your eggs at room temperature. Sift the flour, baking powder, and sugar into a large bowl. Add the eggs, orange, and the butter, and beat with an electric mixer for about a minute. The mixture should now be a soft dropping consistency, but if it is not, just add a little more orange juice. Now divide the mixture between the prepared tins, smooth the tops, and bake for about 30 to 35 minutes in the centre of the oven. You’ll need to test to see if they are ready. My ma used to stick her hatpin into the centre and if it came out clean they were ready, but we don’t seem to have hatpins anymore so with your finger lightly touch the centre and if it leaves no impression and the cake springs back they are done. Leave to rest for a shmall-little minute. Gently loosen the sides of the cakes with a palette knife and ease them carefully out of the tins onto a wire cooling rack.

  Icing:

  50 g / 2 oz. butter

  175 g / 6 oz. icing sugar

  250 g / 9 oz. mascarpone cheese

  rind of 1 orange, finely grated

  Have the butter nice and soft and beat everything together. Spread on cakes and sandwich together, reserving just enough icing to cover the top.

  GLOSSARY

  acting the goat/acting the lig: Behaving foolishly.

  all ears: Paying attention.

  and all: Expression eqivalent to et cetera

  Andrew: Naval slang for Royal Navy, also known as the Grey Funnel Line.

  anyroad: Anyhow.

  arra be wheest: Dublin. Hold your tongue.

  arse: Backside (impolite).

  away off and feel your head: How can you possibly be so stupid?

  away off and chase yourself: Go away, or I don’t believe you.

  away with the fairies: In a brown study, daydreaming, has lost touch with reality.

  banger: Sausage, usually pork.

  banshee: Irish. Beán (woman) sidhe (fairy). Female spirit whose moaning foretells a death.

  bantam: A miniature chicken (originally from Indonesia) which lays miniature eggs.

  beagle’s gowl: The beagle dog’s gowl (not howl) or baying can be heard over a long distance. Not to come within a beagle’s gowl is to miss by a mile.

  Beal na mBláth: Irish. Pronounced “Beeuh nuh Blaw.” Literally “the mouth of the flowers.” A five-road crossroads in West Cork where Long’s pub stood in the 1920s. In August 1922 Michael Collins was ambushed near there and shot dead.

  beezer: First-rate.

  black as old Nick’s hatband: Black as the hatband of the devil’s hat; very dark.

  blether/och, blether: Expression of frustration.

  blethering: Talking nonsense.

  bletherskite: Someone who never stops talking.

  bobby dazzler: Yorkshire and Tyneside. Stunningly beautiful woman.

  boke: Vomit (noun or verb).

  bollix/bollocks: Testicles, or more accurately, the impolite “balls.” Used to imply “rubbish.”

  bollixed/bolloxed: Ruined.

  bore (twenty, twelve, ten, eight): Of a shotgun. Calculated by no
ting the numbers of balls, each fitting exactly into the muzzle, that could be cast from one pound of lead. In American usage, gauge.

  bowsey/bowsie: Drunkard.

  boys-a-boys/boys-a-dear: Expression of mild surprise.

  brave: Very.

  bravely: Feeling well.

  Brian Boru: Last Ard Rí, High King of all Ireland, who beat the Vikings at the Battle of Clontarf in 1014. He was killed there.

  bridge roll: Bread roll longer than it is wide. Ulster’s answer to a hot dog bun.

  brill: Short for “brilliant,” meaning terrific.

  British Legion: National ex-servicemen’s (veterans’) association.

  brolly: RAF slang. Parachute.

  brown jobs: British forces slang. Army.

  camogie: The women’s version of a very fast stick-and-ball game, hurling.

  Celtic Twilight: An aesthetic movement celebrating ancient Irish culture, including mythology.

  cha: Tea, used as British Army slang, originally from the Gujurati.

  champ (thick as): A dish of buttermilk, butter, potatoes, and chives. To be as thick as champ was to be very stupid.

  chancing your arm: Taking a risk.

  Chain Home: The name given to the string of tall lattice radar masts along the south and east coasts of England to detect and give early warning of German air raids.

  chips: French fries.

  clappers: Very fast.

  clatter: An indeterminately large quantity.

  clot: R.A.F. slang. A stupid person.

  Clydesdale: Huge, powerful breed of plough and dray horses.

  colloguing: Chitchatting.

  come ’ere here: Emphatic “come here,” often accompanied by “I want ye.”

  come on, on in: Is not a typographical error. This item of Ulsterspeak drives spellcheck mad.

  craic: Irish. Pronounced “crack.” Practically untranslatable, and can mean great conversation and fun (the craic was ninety) or what happened to you since I saw you last? (“What’s the craic?”) Often seen on signs outside pubs in Eire. Craic agus ceol. Fun and music inside.

  craytur/craythur, a drop of: Creature; a drink of spirits, usually whiskey or poitín.

  crúibins: Irish. Pronounced “crubeens.” Boiled pigs’ trotters, served cold and eaten with vinegar.

  culchie: One who does not live in Dublin. A hick or rube. (See Jack).

  cup of tea in your hand: An informal cup of tea with a cake or biscuit, as opposed to “tea,” which is often the name of the main evening meal.

  currency: In 1965, prior to decimalization, sterling was the currency of the United Kingdom, of which Northern Ireland was a part. The unit was the pound (quid), which contained twenty shillings (bob), each made of of twelve pennies (pence), thus there were 240 pennies in a pound. Coins and notes of combined or lesser or greater denominations were in circulation, often referred to by slang or archaic terms: farthing (four to the penny), halfpenny (two to the penny), threepenny piece (thruppeny bit), sixpenny piece (tanner), two shillings piece (florin), two shillings and sixpence piece (half a crown), ten-shilling note (ten-bob note), guinea coin worth one pound and one shilling, five-pound note (fiver). In 1965 one pound bought nearly three U.S. dollars.

  daft duck: Yorkshire. Stupid person.

  dead: Very.

  dead brill: Very brilliant. Perfect.

  dead on: A strong affirmative, excited acceptance of good news, or a measure of complete accuracy. “I totally agree,” “That’s marvellous,” or “Absolutely correct.”

  dinna fash yourself: Scots. Do not distress yourself.

  divil the bit: None. “He’s divil the bit of sense.” He’s stupid.

  divil: Devil.

  doddle: A short distance or an easy task.

  doo lally tap: Army slang. Having lost one’s mind.

  doh-re-mi: Corruption of “dough”; money.

  donkey’s age: A very long time.

  dote (n.): Something or somebody adorable.

  dote on (v.): Adore.

  doting (gerund): To be wrong because presumably you are entering your dotage.

  Dublin coddle: A boiled dish of sliced rashers, sausages, onion, potato, and white pepper.

  duncher: Flat tweed cap.

  eejit/buck eejit: Idiot/imbecile.

  fag: Cigarette, derived from “faggot,” a very thin sausage.

  fair play to you: To be fair or well done.

  feck (and variations): Dublin corruption of the F-word. It is not so much sprinkled into Dublin conversations as shovelled in wholesale, and its scatological shock value is now so debased that it is no more offensive than “like” larded into teenagers’ chat. Now available at reputable bookstores is the Feckin’ Book of Irish—a series of ten books by Murphy and O’Dea.

  finagle: Achieve by cunning or dubious means.

  fire away: Carry on. Useful except in front of a firing squad.

  fit and well you’re looking: Good to see you. You look fine.

  floors of houses: Numbering starts with the “ground floor,” what is known in North America as the first floor. Next above in Ireland and the U.K. is the first floor (in North America, the second floor).

  fornenst: Near to.

  fortnight: Contraction of fourteen nights, two weeks. A se’nnight (seven nights) is a week.

  foundered: Chilled to the marrow.

  gag: A joke or someone who is great fun.

  gameball: Dublin. Terrific.

  gander: Male goose, or take a look at.

  git: From “begotten.” Bastard, often expressed, “He’s a right hoor’s [whore’s] git.” Not a term of endearment.

  glipe: Idiot.

  gobshite: Dublin. Literally “dried nasal mucus.” Used pejoratively about a person.

  Gold Coast: Former British colony. Present-day Ghana.

  good man-ma-da: I approve of what you have done or are going to do.

  gormless: Yorkshire. Witless.

  great: An Ulster accolade, or can be used to signify pleased assent to a plan.

  great lip for: Dublin. Drinks too much of.

  green as you are cabbage-looking: Backhanded compliment implying you are not as innocent or stupid as you look.

  gurrier: Street urchin, but can be used pejoratively about anyone.

  heart of corn: Very good-natured.

  heifer: Cow before her first breeding.

  highheejuns: Very important people.

  hollyers: Holidays.

  HMS: His/Her Majesty’s ship.

  HMY: Her Majesty’s yacht.

  hooley: Party.

  hot half-un: One-ounce measure of whiskey (with cloves, lemon juice, sugar, and boiling water added).

  houseman: Medical intern. Term used despite the sex of the incumbent.

  how’s about ye? (’bout ye?): How are you? Or good day.

  hurling: The fastest stick-and-ball game played on land. A cross between field hockey and organised mayhem.

  I’m your man: I agree to and will follow your plan.

  Jack or Jackeen: Slang term for a Dubliner, used by natives of Ireland from places other than Dublin, who themselves are called Culchies by Dubliners.

  jackdaw: Bird of the crow family but smaller than a crow.

  jammy: Lucky.

  juking: Jinking. Moving erratically so as to avoid danger.

  jakes: Toilets.

  jar: An alcoholic drink.

  ken: Scots. Know.

  kite: RAF slang. Aeroplane.

  knickers: Women’s and girls’ underpants.

  knickers in a twist (knot): Panicked.

  “Last Post”: Bugle call sounded at day’s end or at services of remembrance.

  let the hare sit: Leave it alone, or be patient.

  lift: Elevator, or a free ride in a vehicle. (If applied to police action, “He was lifted.” Arrested.)

  liltie/lilty: Irish whirling dervish.

  loaf: Head.

  lough: Pronounced “logh,” almost as if clearing the throat. A sea inlet
or large inland lake.

  lummox: Stupid, clumsy creature.

  manor: London police slang. District for which a police station was responsible. Copied from ’50’s TV show Dixon of Dock Green.

  matron: A hospital’s senior nurse, responsible administratively for all matters pertaining to nursing. In North America the position is now vice president nursing.

  medals: The system of medals in the British Army was, with one exception, divided along rank (class) lines. Officers of the rank of major and equivalent or higher only might win the DSO, Distinguished Service Order, although it was occasionally given to more junior officers on the grounds that they had narrowly missed getting a Victoria Cross. Junior officers, captain and below, and warrant officers might win the MC, Military Cross; enlisted men, noncommissioned officers, and privates would receive the MM, Military Medal for deeds of equal bravery. The highest award for valour, the VC, Victoria Cross (akin to the Congressional Medal of Honour), was available to all ranks.

  Melton Mowbray pie: A savoury pork and bacon meat pie with a thin layer of aspic between the filling and the buttery pastry. Best eaten cold.

  more power to your wheel: Very good luck to you, or encouragement.

  M.B., B.Ch., B.A.O.: Basic medical degrees. Medicine was not regarded as a postgraduate degree. The qualification was bachelor of medicine, bachelor of the archaic chirurgerie (surgery) and bachelor of the art of obstetrics.

  muffler: Not a silencer for an automobile, but a long woollen scarf.

  no harm to you, but: Placatory phrase uttered before contradicting or criticising someone.

  no goat’s toe: A superior person (usually only in their own mind).

  no spring chicken: Getting on in years.

  not have a baldy notion: Haven’t got a clue.

  omadán: Irish. Pronounced “omadawn.” Male idiot. Contrary to popular belief, men are not the only idiots in Ireland. Óinseach, pronounced “ushick,” is the female equivalent.

  operating theatre: OR.

  owner: Naval. Captain of a naval vessel.

  Oxo: Compressed beef bouillon reconstituted with boiling water.

  oxter: Armpit.

  oxtercog: Help along by draping someone’s arm over your shoulders to support them.

  patch: London police slang. A police officer’s territory. Also derived from the TV show Dixon of Dock Green.