* * * *
Kael glanced at Dakaar and Balen when they returned to the cell the three of them shared. Neither looked any happier than he felt and surprise flickered through him. It had seemed to him that the pretty little maid their master had bought to torment them with appeared to favor them. It was that disappointment and anger that had sent him back to his cell when he had wanted to stay and simply drink his fill of looking at her and listening to the sound of her voice. He would have stayed to indulge his hunger to learn what he could about her if jealousy had not risen to turn his mood so sour that he hadn’t dared to linger for fear it would repel her when now it was only a matter of her being less interested in him than the others because he was not as appealing to a maiden’s eyes or as clever with the gift of charming with his tongue as they were.
If things had been different, he told himself, she would have looked at him with as much admiration or more, for although he was not as well favored in his face as either of the others and knew it, he was the better warrior and she would have seen those qualities that were his assets—his cunning in the fight, his skills, and his strength—and she would have looked upon him in an entirely different way. The urge smote him to question their mood, to discover, if he could, how they had apparently failed to capture her interest, but he quelled it. They would not be able to keep whatever was bothering them to themselves and he would know soon enough without asking.
They settled on their own bunks wordlessly and sat frowning at nothing in particular for a while before Dakaar finally broke the silence. “She is not at all like a Hirachi woman,” he said finally.
Kael sent him a sardonic look. “I saw that for myself. A strong breath of wind would blow her away. She is the tiniest female that I have ever seen.”
Balen considered that. “Lecur’s concubines are no taller—not much anyway.”
“They are far wider, however,” Kael retorted dryly and would have been repulsive to them if they had been as shapely as Loren.
“I did not mean in that way!” Dakaar said irritably. “I have eyes in my head. When the light shines upon it, her hair is … the color of the sunset on Ach. Her skin is like the tokflower and her eyes are like the summer sky. I have never seen any creature with eyes that color. Even the other little female does not have eyes that color. Though I feel obliged to say that Ka-ren is very pretty, she is not beautiful to my eyes as Lau-ren is.”
“I am surprised your eyes have not fallen out of your head when you have stared at her so hard,” Kael said sardonically, though he could have bitten his tongue. It was obvious to him that he resented her interest in his friends above him, even it was not obvious to them—and it would be soon enough if he could not control the urge to lash out at them for his disappointment!
Dakaar studied Kael angrily for a moment and finally shook his head when he saw that it was not true anger that had inspired Kael’s sharp tongue but rather disappointment. He wrestled with the ugly sense of triumph the thought produced, striving for a balance of fairness in the contest that was no true contest when they all knew that there would be no way to win this battle to breed the fair maid their heart’s desired. “She was upset when you left. I saw it in her eyes. You feel that Balen and I have unfair advantage because we are more accustomed to having to sway a maid’s interest with pretty words when you have never had to, but I cannot see that she looks upon either me or Balen with more interest than she does you. None of us will be allowed to breed her, you know, even if we succumb to the fever. We cannot expect more than a welcome as lovers and in that sense, I think you are as welcome to her as we are.”
Kael felt his heart skip several beats, but he refused to rise to the bait. “I have nothing to court her with,” he said tightly. “Not that there is any point to it … in this place.”
“Truthfully, I cannot say that she is nearly as anxious to accept any of us as a lovers as we are to take her as a lover,” Balen said unhappily. “She is frightened … and small wonder when it is as clear as day that she is no warrior woman. A Hirachi woman might be afraid, but she would know that she could defend herself well against any male stupid enough to try to take what was not offered.”
“She is too small and weak to be a warrior of any sort. She could not even lift the bench—not that I needed to see that! She is soft all over,” Dakaar said. “That is what I meant. She does not have the heart of a warrior maid of the Hirachi.”
Kael studied him for a long moment. “Do not try to tell me that you give a damn that she does not! You would mate with her in a moment if you could reach her. Balen would and I would.”
Dakaar flushed. “I did not try to deny it! You misunderstood me, gods damn it! I was trying to say that she is not fierce and she is not strong—in her tiny little body—but she has spirit and strength for all that. She has not cried or screamed as the other two have. She is intelligent. She knows that she has reason to be afraid, but she is very brave. A Hirachi woman would be brave because she would have confidence in her strength and her training. Lau-ren has neither and yet she is still brave. I do not understand it, but I would not have any qualms about passing that strength to my off-spring—if there was any possibility of it—which there is not!”
Balen looked troubled. “I told her that we would protect her and she offered to be our woman. She said that it wouldn’t be right to take and not give something in return. We tried to explain that it was our duty and honor as warriors to protect the weak, but she offered herself.”
Discomfort flickered through Kael at that news, embarrassment that they had all obviously made their desperation to get their hands on her so abundantly clear that she seemed to think that was all that motivated them. He did not like to think that their lust had made them appear less in her eyes than what they were—warriors of the Hirachi, men of honor. As he considered it, however, his resentment that they could not court her properly rose to the forefront of his mind again and it occurred to him that, mayhap, she realized that and had taken it into consideration. “Mayhap she sees the offer as a courtship gift?” he suggested.
“You think that is it?” Balen asked hopefully if somewhat doubtfully. “I would be ashamed to accept if she thought that I had expected it of her in exchange for protecting her. And it seemed to me that that was she thought.”
Kael felt his belly clench with dismay. He did not like to think that she perceived them in that light—as dishonorable creatures that would take advantage of her frailty. It would bring shame upon them if she offered herself for that reason and not for the only reason acceptable—that she desired them as they did her. Frustration flickered through him. Their awkwardness with the only language they had to use to communicate only exacerbated the situation. They would not know if she truly welcomed any of them until and unless they were given the opportunity to take her as a lover. He shook his head and rose abruptly to pace the room. “It does not matter,” he said harshly. “She is a slave as we are. Even her body is not hers to give and she must know that.”
Dakaar frowned. “You are saying that she did not mean it when she offered to be our lover if we would protect her and her friend?”
Kael paused to stare at him miserably. He was as bad as Balen, wanting to believe that he had seen something he might not have to soothe the sting so that he could take what she offered without shame! “Did she seem sincere?”
Dakaar turned to look at Balen questioningly.
Balen shrugged. “She smiled at me and she seemed sincere, but I could not help but notice that she seemed afraid to come very close.” He grimaced. “She is so tiny, I suppose it is no surprise that she is afraid of us when we must seem like giant, hulking brutes to her and we are Hirachi warriors, after all, but it is disconcerting to have a maid quake with fear, let me tell you! I have never encountered that before!”
“She smiled at Dakaar, as well, and I could see that she was glad to see him,” Kael said slowly. “She is afraid because we are not the same and look as strange to her eyes as she does to ours.
And she is naturally afraid because she can see that we are much bigger and stronger. She has no reason to trust that we would not hurt her.”
“But we are Hirachi warriors!” Balen said indignantly.
“And she does not know our culture!” Kael retorted angrily. “Hers would not be the same—anymore than any of these others have a culture like ours. When Lecur said that they might examine her, they did not hesitate to touch her when she had not given permission either by look or word that she would allow it. She knows that we desire her. She thinks that we will behave as the others have behaved.”
Dakaar stared at him for a long moment, digesting that, wondering if there was any way that he might convince her that he could and would be as gentle a lover as he would be thoughtful of her pleasure. A thought occurred to him abruptly, however, that was even more unpleasant—in fact, horrifying. They were nearing their spawning and they were as near mindless beasts at that time as made very little difference. They could not control their urges. If they were given access to her then—or managed to get to her without being given access—they would be fortunate if they did not scare her to death. They could not trust that they would have enough control to be gentle for that matter. He had gone through three spawnings himself before his capture and he could not recall anything that he had done with any clarity after the fever had finally left him.
It would not have mattered if she were a Hirachi woman. They not only knew to expect it when that time came, but they were as fevered to mate as their counterparts—and beyond that strong enough physically to exert some control over their mates. Lau-ren was not Hirachi, no matter how much she reminded him of his own people. They could not even be certain that she would come in to her spawning season at the same time when she was so different! “We cannot say that we will not when we are near the spawning … and I am as certain as I can be that she cannot possibly have any idea of the mating fever that comes upon a Hirachi male at that time. If we warn her, she will only be more afraid of us, and she is trapped. She cannot escape even if she wanted to. I would not worry so much if I believed that she would be safe from me, but I do not think those bars will keep me out once the fever is upon me. I am fair certain I could bend them now and we are far stronger at that time, you know.”
* * * *
Loren woke to the smell of food. She was still tired enough she might have ignored it, but her stomach didn’t. She supposed she must have been fed via tubes while she was in the pod, but her last real meal was a distant memory. Lifting her eyelids, she stared at the wall a few moments and finally turned over to glance toward the door.
There was a tray of food sitting just inside her cell on the floor, having been slid through the door via a gap at the bottom. Struggling upright with the blanket wound tightly around her was a feat, but she managed it and moved to the tray, hoping the trader had left feeding instructions and she wouldn’t discover the food was as alien as the place she was in.
Her hopes were dashed when she’d looked the food over, but it smelled appetizing enough she picked it up and moved back to the bed with it.
Her unconscious hope that the men had had their fill of staring at her were also dashed as she settled to carefully testing the food. She was peripherally aware of the traffic past her cell and the men pressing themselves to the bars to stare at her, but she’d, also unconsciously, made the decision to pretend they weren’t there. She wasn’t certain of just how long she could hold on to her sanity otherwise, because it made it impossible to forget, even for a handful of moments, that one of them—or possibly more—would be allowed to get to her when he finished bashing some other poor soul’s head in.
Both aspects of her situation were disturbing on a primal level. They were all humanoid, just as she was, and similar to what was familiar to her, and yet too different for her to face the prospect of being fucked by any one of them with anything approaching acceptance, let alone anticipation. She didn’t think if it had been human men she could have viewed it any other way—not when she was being offered up as a prize.
Human men, she thought, that could do what they did would be dangerously aggressive if they had to fight first to get their hands on a woman—especially when it was clear to her that none of the men had had any chance at all at a woman until the fish-man had bought her and the others. They wouldn’t be lovers. They would be conquerors, determined to take whether she cooperated or not.
She didn’t think the alien men were going to be any different at all in that respect. Their hunger was almost palpable. She wasn’t deluded enough to think she was that appealing to them as an individual.
None of them saw anything but a hole to fuck when they stared at her through the bars and the bastard that had bought her had fully expected just that reaction. She was the ‘tease’ he was using to build their natural aggressions to a dangerous level so that they would put on a good show for his patrons.
Unfortunately, as scared and mentally deficient as she was because of that, it hadn’t taken her long to figure out that the only way he could capitalize on it was to keep the game in play. This time when they went out to fight, they would have nothing on their minds beyond winning the chance to try to fuck her to death, but that aggression would be a hell of a crowd pleaser and word would spread. The next time around, fish-man would pull in even more spectators to watch.
He was alien and she knew she was gauging him as if he was human, but she didn’t think she was wrong, unfortunately. She thought his words and actions had already made it clear that he thought very much like a human counterpart would—at least in some respects. His mind might work very differently in some respects, just like his appearance was drastically different, but greed seemed to be a trait that was universal.
Despite every effort not to think about it, her mind wandered after a time to the Hirachi and her offer. She didn’t know if she was more humiliated that they seemed to have declined her offer or that she’d made it at all. It had seemed like an uncontrollable impulse at the time, but she’d come to realize it really wasn’t. It had been her survival instinct kicking in, her primal understanding of nature. They not only looked like the biggest, strongest, and fiercest of the lot, they’d shown a tendency to protect and her subconscious mind had registered that even though she hadn’t consciously been aware of it.
It had been the most natural thing in the world to offer what she knew they wanted in exchange for the protection she needed, even if she was embarrassed because it was both demeaning to her as an individual and socially unacceptable in her own culture.
Her parents, she had no doubt, would be horrified if they’d had any way to learn of it, but she realized there was little point in worrying about it. It wasn’t likely they would ever know that their daughter had prostituted herself to survive—or at least offered to—despite the rigid principles they’d tried to instill in her.
The worst of it was that she didn’t think she would’ve felt the least bit ashamed of it if they’d taken her up on it—if they hadn’t made it clear that they thought the offer was shameful and had been embarrassed for her.
Hurt and anger, spawned mostly by defensiveness, flickered through her at the reminder. They had to see just by looking at her that she wasn’t capable of defending herself against what she was up against! If the situation had been different, she might have had some chance of using her skills or her wit to overcome her lack of strength and the disadvantage of being about half the size of most of them! She had nothing to work with, though! Nothing! Even if she could figure out a way to escape, there was no place to run to for safety! Not that she could discern, at any rate.
Surely, if there’d been any sort of lawfulness about the damned place, neither slave auctions nor gladiator fights would’ve been allowed? She was trapped in a den of thieves and murderers! The gladiators probably weren’t any worse than the men that were free to walk around—maybe not even as bad.
It crossed her mind to wonder if there was any chance in hell of ge
tting her hands on one of the ships she’d seen and escaping, but only in a fantasy sense. Getting out when she would have to run the gauntlet of men just panting to get their hands on her and fuck her blind was an insurmountable obstacle as far as she could see. And even if she managed to survive that and get out when she knew the fish-man must have security, there was the space station itself—filled with men. It wasn’t likely a naked female would make it very far—not close enough to a ship to smell freedom.
And then there was the technology of the ships themselves. She didn’t doubt that she could figure out how to fly one, given time, but she wouldn’t get that time. Setting aside every other obstacle, even taking into account that she had some familiarity with some alien technology since she’d spent nearly five years of her life studying it, she didn’t think the odds were in her favor that she would manage to get a ship with technology she already knew and it could take a very long time for her to figure it out if it wasn’t already at least a little familiar.
Even if she could manage all of that, though, she was an engineer, not an astronomer or a cosmologist! How would she find her way home?
She wouldn’t. As sick as that made her, she knew she could never manage that. It was extremely doubtful that she could manage any of her fantasy scenario of escape, but she also knew that there could be some remote possibility, that she might discover them given time. Finding her way back to Earth just wasn’t possible—unless the fates smiled upon her and she happened to grab a ship with the coordinates already in the computer.
She thought that was unlikely in the extreme, however, even though the thought made her heart leap with hopefulness briefly. There was no getting around the fact that the aliens hadn’t seemed to recognize them as a species familiar to them, and that seemed to indicate they weren’t in the habit of visiting Earth.
On one level, that was comforting. It meant that, aside from the lizard-man who’d captured her, Earth people were relatively safe, but it also meant she had to try to accept that she was never going back. Whatever happened, she was never going to see home or her parents again.
Enslaved Book III: The Gladiators Page 5
