by Navi' Robins
In front of our house were about six Deerfield police cars, and four officers were standing outside our door. The scene outside caused my heart to race and a cold sweat covered my back. The gunman must have seen my face but if that were the case they would have been here last night. Deerfield PD didn’t have a lot on their plates being that Deerfield was a very secure and well-to- do township. Very little happened here when it came to crime and a lot of times Tony and I would see officers in their parked squad cars surfing the web on eBay or Facebook.
Most of them were cool and weren’t so bad, but some of them were action junkies always looking to create some movie-inspired traffic stop. They would provoke people into situations, and when you gave them a window of opportunity they crashed through it. You could tell which breed of cop you were dealing within three minutes into a routine traffic stop. If it was one of the more settled and professional officers, you would only be dealing with that one squad car. But if you were so lucky to get pulled over by a cop on adrenaline, then about three minutes after you were pulled over you would be surrounded by four or more squad cars.
By the time you were on your way, your car would have been searched, you would have possibly been patted down and bombarded with rude comments about why and where you were going in Deerfield, etc., and if you gave them the tiniest reason, they would arrest you and detain you overnight. They enjoyed embarrassing and harassing people, and every one of these buffoons was at my front door. This was bad, really bad. The banging started again, then the doorbell, then banging; these guys were a real piece of work. They kept ringing the bell and banging on the door in immediate succession. Then it sounded like they were kicking—not knocking—on the door.
“What the hell?” I heard my mom yell from upstairs. “Aiden, who’s at the door?”
Somehow in my youthful ignorance I thought maybe, just maybe, my mom wouldn’t hear the door and the police would just leave. Boy, was I dumb.
“Aiden!”
“Yes, Mom?”
By now the bell-ringing and knocking had become frantic and it seemed like they were going to take the door right off the hinges.
“Who is that banging on the door like that?”
“The police, Mom,” I answered.
“The police?”
“Yes!” I said and I started to walk towards the door.
By now my entire body was covered in sweat. My head was pounding just as hard as the police was pounding on the door. If the gunman didn’t turn me in, then who did? Then a thought crossed my mind that made me explode with anger. Tony; he finally struck the killer-blow and now the police are here to take me in. I guess some secrets aren’t meant to be shared. I was terrified at what awaited me outside that door but this was inescapable. Time to face the music; I just wished they had sent the other cops. My hand was reaching for the door handle when the phone began ringing. My mom was now coming downstairs.
“Aiden, you get the phone. I’ll get the door.”
“But, Mom, I’m right here.”
“No, I’ll deal with the police and you answer the phone.”
I didn’t want to get my mom involved. I wanted to open the door and extend my hands in from of me so that they could slap on the cuffs and carry me away. Hopefully my mom would be on the phone while I was carried away. That was my plan, and, yeah, I was only seventeen then so don’t expect me to have many common-sense moments.
“Mom, I can get the door and—”
“Aiden, you’ve been down here the entire time and you haven’t gotten the door yet. So I’ll get it and you get the—”
At that moment the phone stopped ringing.
“You see, Mom, I can get the door now.”
Then my cell phone started ringing. I looked at the display and it was the coach.
“Who is it?” my mom asked.
“My coach.”
“Well, son, answer your phone and I’ll get the door. Now go in the kitchen and take the call.”
“Mom…”
“Now!” I could see any more protesting would be met with a strict punishment. So I decided to yield and do as I was told.
“Hello?”
“Aiden?”
“Yes, Coach, it’s me.”
“Thank God! We have a serious situation.” My heart dropped. A serious situation? Did everyone know now and I was being kicked off the team? Damn Tony. He’s going to get what’s coming to him. And to think I considered him my best friend and I trusted him with my dark secret. Needless to say my first day as a seventeen-year-old wasn’t going too well.
“What’s going on, Coach?” I asked, bracing myself for the bad news. I could hear my mom unlocking the door and swinging it open.
“Ma’am! Didn’t you hear us at your door?” scolded the cop. “Why didn’t you answer your door sooner?”
His tone was very rude and he was yelling at my mom now in anger. This must have been his first time meeting her because if he knew her like I knew her, he would have watched his tone and conduct.
“Wait a minute! You are at my house…Officer Rude Ass! You are banging on my door, ringing my doorbell like you have no home training or respect. And then when I open the door you are yelling at me? Do you have any warrants or national homeland security issues with my residence?”
“No, ma’am, but…”
“But my ass! Don’t you ever come to my house again in this manner. I have children here and you are making them uncomfortable, and unless your name is on the deed of this house and on their birth certificate you have no right to make them feel that way! Now you can either apologize, correct your tone or you can leave my property right now. Your badges don’t intimidate me!”
Boy, I was hoping he decided to leave but that was never my luck. They had a job to do and they weren’t going to leave until it was done. I could hear the officer clear his throat and humbly apologize to my mom for his behavior.
“Also, I don’t believe all of you need to be here.”
“No, ma’am,” they all answered.
“Well I’m sure some of you can leave my doorstep now.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Thank you,” she replied.
“May I come in?”
“Sure.”
“Thank you, ma’am.” The officer was now speaking as if he had his manhood removed and displayed for all to see.
She’d just totally punked him. During all the commotion, I forgot about the coach on the phone and he was still talking, but I had no idea what he was saying.
“Aiden?”
“Yes?”
“So I need you to start for us next week.”
“Huh?”
“I need you to be our starting running back next week. Were you listening to a word I’ve been saying?”
“Yeah,” I lied. “So how long will I be starting?”
“Indefinitely, unless you choke like you did during tryouts, then I will have to replace you. Can I count on you?”
“Yes, Coach.”
“Good, so I’ll see you in practice Monday?”
I paused. Would he?
“Yes, Coach, I’ll be there.”
“Okay, I know it’s going to be a rough few days ahead but try and have a good weekend anyway.”
Without thinking I responded, “You too, Coach.”
I should have been ecstatic after talking to the coach, but I had other pressing matters. Being arrested for breaking and entering was at the top of the list.
“Aiden! My mom called to me.
“Yes?”
“Come here!”
Here we go. When I walked in the foyer the officer was standing there waiting for me, hands on his belt.
“Aiden, this officer has some questions for you.”
“About what?”
“Last night.”
My heart froze.
“Last night your mom called the station to inform us that you and your friend…Tony, correct?”
Friend? I thought. Yeah right. Ex-friend.
&nbs
p; “Would be coming home after 12:00 a.m. curfew for under eighteen-year-olds with her permission. Just to look out for you and make sure you were okay. She gave us your GPS tracking code so we could keep an eye on things being that it was a brand-new car and all. Anyway, last night there was a break-in and we saw that your car was around about twenty minutes after the perp escaped on foot. Did you see anything while on your way home? Your car stopped momentarily when you got near your home.”
Wait—my mom too? Everyone was tracking me! Geez!
“No, Officer, I didn’t see anything.”
“You sure?”
The officer was staring me in my eyes to see if I was hiding something.
“Why did you stop?”
“Me and Tony were arguing and…that’s why we stopped.”
“Strange, Tony said you two were trying to talk to some girls.”
“What?”
“Yeah, we talked to him earlier.”
My mom turned and looked at me with that “you better come clean” stare.
“Yeah, yeah, we were showing off and trying to get their numbers.”
“Were there any guys with them?”
“No, no, not that I know of.”
“And you didn’t see anything else?”
“No, Officer,” I exhaled.
“Okay, well if you remember anything else, give us a call.”
“Okay, will do.”
“Thank you for your time,” he said as he left.
I walked to the living room and flopped on the couch allowing my entire body to sink into the leather. I peeked out the window, watching the officers get in their vehicles and leave but not before they mocked the rude officer for being checked by my mom. I could hear some of them say how hot my mom was and making silly animal noises. How did these morons ever pass the entry exam for the police academy was beyond me; somebody was high on something when they were grading their papers.
It was like watching frat boys at a party talking about a hot teacher. And to think men who could legally carry firearms behaved that way was even more disturbing. But I was happy to see them leave. To say I dodged a bullet was an understatement. More like dodging a freakin’ freight train. My mom walked over to me with a concerned look.
“Aiden, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about the tracking device on the car. But with how the city has gotten lately and that car being so…how you kids say it? ‘Off the hook.’ I needed to be careful and make sure you and Tony were safe. I know you are angry and surprised, but just know I did it to keep you safe.”
“Aww, Mom!” Sarah and I yelled in unison. Sarah had joined us downstairs after the police left.
“C’mon, you used our slang. Now it’s tainted. We can’t use it anymore,” I protested.
“What?”
“Yeah, the rules are if your parents start saying things like ‘off the hook,’ ‘real talk,’ ‘that’s a good look,’ ‘fo-shizzle,’ ‘holla back,’ or any of our slangs, we have to stop using them immediately,” explained Sarah.
“And now that you have used ‘off the hook’ we are forbidden to use it again in this house. And I really liked that one too,” I complained.
“Me too,” agreed Sarah.
My mom was standing there looking at both of us smiling.
“Can I say it though?” she asked.
“Yep, you can use it. It’s yours now.”
“Oh wow! I’m so fortunate to be the proud owner of the ‘off the hook’ phrase. I should call my publisher,” she said sarcastically. “Seriously, Aiden, are we okay?”
“Yeah, Mom, it’s cool, I get your point,” I lied. “I may not like it, but I understand.”
“I’ll change the code right now so that those idiots can’t track you anymore. I don’t trust them; they are way too high-strung to be police officers. But I won’t take it off until you turn eighteen.”
I didn’t like the idea of my mom being able to track my whereabouts in my car. But I knew if I didn’t go along with her terms I would be without my car until I was eighteen. No supervision equals no car. Supervision equals car.
I’ll take supervision for 500, Alex!
Sometimes we have to make hard choices. This wasn’t one of them.
“So, how was your night?” my mom asked with a probing stare.
“It was great! We had a lot of fun.”
“That’s great, Aiden. I’m happy you had a great time and made it home safe without incident.”
Ha, without incident?
If she only knew I was well on my way to claiming my first victim. I could feel myself changing, getting more aggressive, self-centered, and paranoid. I was starting to care more about how I was viewed by others than how I viewed myself. At first I just thought it was a teenager-thing, but after last night I knew things were different inside me. I still can’t explain how I got inside Jasmine’s house without setting off the alarm. Also, to get there faster than Tony in a car was even more disturbing. After discovering my mother was also keeping tabs on me, I should have forgiven Tony. But I was too arrogant and proud. I allowed my fear and anger to control my actions and I justified to myself that forgiving my mom was acceptable, but forgiving Tony was out of the question.
“Who was that on the phone?” Sarah asked.
“Oh, it was the coach.”
“What did he say? You are fired!” she teased, mimicking Donald Trump’s reality show.
“Actually, Cruella Deville, he told me I would be starting until further notice.”
“Wow, so the starting running back died?” Sarah began laughing at her own joke but my mom wasn’t laughing.
“Actually, Sarah, yes he did die last night. They said he had a heart attack and died. Eyes wide open with a look of horror on his face. Whatever he saw was so terrifying that it caused a seventeen-year-olds heart to stop cold in his chest. I was upstairs talking to his mother when the police started banging on the door, she’s on the parent-teacher board at the high school, very sweet lady, a little detached from reality but sweet.”
Sarah’s face went white. “Mom, are you serious?”
“Afraid so, baby.”
“Aiden, I’m sorry, I didn’t know.”
She didn’t know? Neither did I!
As my mom told the story of the starting running back’s death, I replayed the phone call with the coach in my head and I overheard him mention a tragedy, but I was so focused on the exchange between my mom and the officers that I didn’t process what he was saying to me. I pretended that I was aware of the student’s death.
“What’s his name?” Sarah asked.
As I sat there I realized I had no idea what his name was nor did I have any emotional investment to find out. Here it is his untimely death opened the opportunity for me to start at running back and not knowing his name was okay with me. Had this scene played out three months ago I would’ve reacted differently.
“Steven Gray,” my mom answered
“Where did they find him, Mom?” Sarah asked.
“His body was found less than a block away from the house that got broken into last night. The police suspect the break in and his death may be related.”
I felt myself go cold with the revelation that my intrusion at Jasmine’s home and Steven’s death were somehow related. There is a sense of total and complete hopelessness that overcomes you when you fully understand that you are no longer in control of your actions. And fear; fear so deep and thick it feels like a part of you, like an extra organ growing deep inside of you. Did I kill Steve? I couldn’t remember anything after I blacked out besides that horrible nightmare, and me waking up at Jasmine’s. How I got there and everything in between was a blank space in time like someone removed that portion of my memory. But in light of the current circumstances I didn’t know if I really wanted to recall my actions…..
The weekend went by as a blur. To this day I can’t remember specific details after that Saturday afternoon. The following week was the same; I was just on autopilot trying
to cope with having such a dark secret inside me, and my best friend exiled from my life. The funeral for Steven Gray was being held on Friday, and Saturday was our first game of the season. The entire team had pledged to attend. I wasn’t looking forward to it but I had no choice. The police were still looking for the intruder and they believed Steven’s untimely death was also related to the break-in. I needed to keep a low profile so as not to draw any unwanted attention to me. I always remained wary that Tony would speak up one day, so I tried avoiding him at school as much as possible. I figured if I wasn’t on his mind, he would forget about Friday night. I’m not sure how insane I was becoming but that line of thinking made me feel like I was well on my way to being a stamped and certified nutcase.
I still felt like there was a slight chance my activities on the night of my birthday celebration and Steve’s death weren’t related and a good medical explanation would be forthcoming. I held on to that hope and it kept me going during the week leading up to the funeral and our first game. But like all things, that hope had to end and it ended after practice on Friday in the locker room. The funeral was scheduled that evening to allow the students to attend. So we decided to have one last practice before the game Saturday. Ronald Brice, the starting safety was the son of Deerfield’s coroner and he always had the scoop on deaths and details concerning someone’s demise in our city’s limits. I could overhear him on the other side of the locker room, discussing Steve’s death. I tried to ignore him and tune him out, but when I heard him say that the police purposely lied about Steve’s death I had to walk over to find out what he was talking about.
“What do you mean ‘they lied’?” one of my teammates inquired. “They said he had a heart attack.”
“Dude! C’mon! Steve? He was only seventeen and he was an ox. No way that healthy dude died of heart failure and he didn’t have any history of heart problems. It’s not even in his family’s history.”
“So, tell us what happened to him then,” one of the teammates said.
“You really wanna know?”
“No, not really,” I responded without thinking.
“Well, the truth needs to be known, so, Aiden, your request is denied. He had his throat slashed till his head was nearly severed.”
