by Navi' Robins
I was at a loss for words.
Then I realized Tony was right. I was jealous seeing Brian with Jasmine, but my hate clouded my mind to the point I was willingly lying to myself about how I really felt about Jasmine. It all started to make sense now. I dreamed about this girl and showed up in her house uninvited on several occasions, looking at her while she slept. But the bloodline of the Baraqu and the hatred for Shadows it carried confused me and my intentions towards Jasmine. Just like her, I now realized that I loved her. I had been so consumed by hate that I hadn’t realized it. But Jasmine knew how she felt all along and to hold on to that love, even though there wasn’t a chance in hell that we would find ourselves in this moment was incredible. Jaffrey was right, there wasn’t a Shadow like her.
“Aiden, I know you have a lot of questions and I will answer all of them, but right now we need to clean this mess up and you are the only one who can do it.”
So after cleaning up our lover’s quarrel we all went back inside to try to enjoy the rest of the night. Life was going to be very interesting going forward but at the same time I was optimistic because for the first time in my life I was in love and she loved me back. I just wished it wasn’t so complicated. But when I thought back on all the so-called loves I had in my younger years prior to Jasmine, none hurt more than when I was twelve years old and had a serious bug for an eighth grade cheerleader named Asia Radcliff.
At the time she was the most beautiful thing I had ever laid eyes upon. Half Asian and half African American, she was the top track star in her class and the captain of the cheerleading squad. She also happened to be on the fast track to the gold-digger hall of fame. At the time I didn’t quite understand the concept and I thought she walked on gold-plated butterfly wings. I couldn’t get enough of Asia and every chance I got I made myself known to her. At first I was ignored until she found out through some of her fellow gold-digging acquaintances that my family was “balling.” Immediately after that I was her main concern. She let me carry her books and we sat together at lunch. I even got her phone number and to all the guys in my age group I was “that dude.”
But soon I started getting requests from her of a financial nature. I was spending all the money I could get my hands on for that girl. Taking her to the mall and getting her whatever she wanted but when I didn’t have the funds she would ignore me for weeks. Every time that happened I got this aching feeling in my stomach and it felt like I couldn’t breathe. My classmates would clown me every time she would ignore me when I called her name. They all knew what she was doing, but no one—and I mean no one—had the character or the balls to tell me to my face that she was using me. During that time, Tony was overseas going to school so I didn’t have him watching my back. But he came home earlier than expected and the very first day he saw her he told me exactly what she was doing to me. It was hard and it really broke my heart.
She was my first kiss and I was hoping I would lose my virginity to her as well. I don’t think I cried as much as I did back then, trying to cope with the betrayal and pain of loving someone and finding out they never loved me back. And she told me she did all the time and my dumb ass believed her too. Now here I was again in a very complicated situation, but the currency this time was life. My life and the lives of those I cared for.
I know on the surface it seemed irresponsible and it seemed like I hadn’t learned my lesson after dealing with Jason’s treachery. Yet here I was, accepting the love of someone I just wanted to kill and giving my heart back to her instantaneously. It was fast, I know, too fast, but even with all the anger and hatred I felt, something deep inside was telling me that this was the love I should be investing in. This is the girl I should be with. So I trusted my gut and went with it; also the way she looked in that red dress helped a lot too.
What? Shame on me? No, shame on you to think otherwise. I was seventeen years old and I had an unlimited amount of hormones flowing through my body and Jasmine was a hormone-magnet. Just looking at her inspired fantasies of me and her doing things that would make even Tony blush. And then to find out she actually had a heart was just icing on the cake. I was so excited about this new love and I didn’t hide my disdain towards Brian when I saw him again inside. I heard him whisper that I was “playa-hating,” but I didn’t care. I was looking everywhere for Tony but I couldn’t find him. Finally someone told me he had gone upstairs with his dynamic duo and they even gave me the room number. I had to tell Tony about what just happened outside, I was too excited not to. I had temporarily forgotten about wanting to kill her and everything I had experienced prior to this night. I was just filled with so much joy and it felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my chest. I was knocking on the door for about five minutes before I heard Tony yelling,
“Who is it!”
“It’s Aiden. I need to talk to you, it’s important!”
“Aww, dude, come on! I’m in the middle of something,” he yelled from behind the door. “Literally in the middle of something.”
“Tony, seriously, you know I wouldn’t come here if it wasn’t important!”
“True,” he said. “Okay, one sec.”
Tony flung open the door wearing a pointy happy birthday hat, boxers, and a smiley face made of whipped cream on his bare chest.
“Dude, what the hell?!” I yelled at the sight of him in the doorway.
Tony just stood there with a mischievous grin on his face in a Superman pose. I guess he figure if I had the nerve to interrupt his hotel room romp I had the nerve to see him in this unnerving manner. I didn’t even want to go there with him right now.
“You know what, never mind. I hope you are having a great time. Listen, something incredible happened to me outside tonight.”
Tony leaned forward to get a closer look at me and then he sniffed me like he was trying to smell something unique. Then his eyes widened and he started jumping up and down like an idiot. His whipped cream smiley face started to come apart and slide down his chest. I quickly took a step back just in case he tried to hug me and ruin my suit.
“Wait? You got you some? Like some real good some? OHHH my boy Aiden is a man now…I told you boy, when you get the good stuff you want to tell the world but you can’t because she won’t give it to you anymore…I remember I did that and I still regret it to this day…did I tell you about that…maaan…”
“Tony, Tony, no it’s not that,” I interrupted.
Tony would have ranted on and on and I needed to tell him so that he could get his silly-looking ass back in the room before someone called animal control because something just wasn’t right inside that hotel room.
“Me and Jasmine are a couple now!”
“Wait, what the hell you just say to me?” Tony asked.
The tone of his voice sounded like I had just called him a racial slur.
“I said me and Jasmine are a couple now.”
“A couple, huh? Yeah, I agree, a couple of freaking idiots! Man what is wrong with you? First you wanted to kill the evil bitch, right? I mean earlier tonight you looked like you were ready to get all buckets of blood on her ass and now you’re telling me you two are dating?”
“Yes!”
“So first you wanted to take her out and now you want to take her out but this time on a date, under the moon and stars, riding unicorns and eating honey-covered wafer snacks, right? Aiden, get your mind right so your ass can follow! What is going on in that head of yours dude? Let me guess what happened: you two had to have a confrontation outside in order for you to get that close for her to tell you she loves you, right?”
“Yeah…”
“Right, so then you whopped her ass and right before you was about to deal the final blow she professed her undying love for you; am I on point?”
Damn he’s good.
“Yes, you are.”
“Dude, listen to yourself. She played you man!”
“Tony, your whipped-cream smiley face is melting,” I jokingly interrupted.
“Don’t worry about my whipped cream! Worry about your ass! She didn’t want to get her bag tipped so she preyed on your weakest desires. Which are love and lust because it’s clear you are attracted to that evil bitch.”
“Hey, watch your mouth Tony.”
“Oh, so now she’s a laaaady? After almost killing you in the lunchroom and almost ruining your chances of getting on the football team, now she’s a lady and demands respect? I guess she had a viable explanation for that too, right?”
“It wasn’t viable but it made sense,” I responded.
“It made sense? Aiden, does any of this shit make sense to you? Dude, the last Shadow you got close to tried to kill you and your entire family. Wipe all of you off the map. Remember that? I do, because I was pulling your unconscious ass out of a burning house with emblems of fire attached to my ass. So now you are willing to jeopardize the lives of your mom and sister? For her? For love? I don’t know what she did to Sarah but I know she did something and what you are telling me right now is insanity.”
“I know it sounds crazy but we love each other!”
“Ya’ll have a crazy way of showing your love. I guess if you guys get married the ceremony will consist of a selection from the choir and a battle to the death at the altar. You know what Aiden, I’m going to go back inside this hotel room and try to forget what you just told me. But tomorrow you and I are going to get into this. Right now I’m going to get into this,” Tony said, pointing inside his hotel room.
“And then tomorrow bright and early me and you will get into all of this you talking about right now. But I’m going to tell you one thing, if anything happens to Sarah…I swear to God I’m breaking both ya’ll necks. Powers be damned, I’m breaking ‘em.” Tony then looked at me, shook his head, chuckled, and slammed the door in my face.
Tony was such a downer, but after walking towards the elevator some of the things he said started to make sense. Did she play me? Was Jasmine another Asia Radcliff all over again? If so, that would really suck because I was really buying into the whole “love conquers all” display we just had in the park. How could it not be real? I had never felt like this before—ever, not even for Asia and I thought I was on cloud nine.
Right now this would be cloud one hundred and nine. If she did play me I knew she wouldn’t let herself become vulnerable again and our next encounter might be a lot more dynamic. But I knew one thing—that if she played with my heart like that there would be nothing and no one that will stop me from snatching her heart out of her chest. Wow, was I a violent kid back then or what?
Just like all things the party was over and Sarah and I headed home. I looked for Jasmine but I was told she left with Brian before I came back downstairs from Tony’s room. I instantly got jealous and started to worry about what Brian was planning on doing to my girl or if Jasmine was actually my girl. Would she use Brian to send the message on a more personal level? Halfway home I got a text message from Jasmine saying how much she loved me and how tonight changed her life and she couldn’t wait to get to know me and I to get to know her. If there ever was a message that anyone needed to ease the storm of insecurity in his heart, that was the message. I immediately relaxed and leaned back in the driver’s seat after reading the message. Sarah smiled and asked me if that was from Jasmine. I nodded and asked Sarah how was she feeling.
“I feel much better now. More focused and confident in myself. I can now shut this ability off whenever I want and turn it back on when I need it. Jasmine told me that she could teach me how to master my ability and enhance it.”
“Enhance it?”
“Yes, she walked up to me in the ballroom and whispered that in my ear. I was so desperate Aiden, I needed stability back in my life. I was losing my mind and I felt that even if Jasmine meant to do me harm death was better than the life I was living.”
“Don’t say that Sarah,” I snapped.
“I’m just being honest Aiden. You have no idea how horrible it is to know everyone’s darkest secrets. It’s not a peaceful existence, especially when those secrets can threaten you.”
“So you actually can talk to their souls?”
“Now I can, but before my awakening was completed, no. It was a one-way street and some people’s souls are dark and evil and the things they say should never be heard out loud.”
“Wow, that’s insane.”
“Yes, it is and to be honest I would have been happier if I saw dead people walking around. I’ve found out just how very few good-natured people there are in this world. Now I can relax and keep people’s secrets just the way they were meant to be…secrets. So when Jasmine told me that, I was compelled to follow her outside. I’m sorry Aiden, I should have thought about how you would feel about me leaving alone with a Shadow but I could see her soul and even though she is a Shadow, she is a good person.”
“What else can you tell me about her?”
“That’s all I’m giving you Aiden; everything else you need to learn for yourself. But I do know that you have doubts about her feelings and I can tell you that I have never seen anyone engulfed in so much love for another person before. She really loves you and I can tell you love her too. But you also hate her for what she is. But that is something the both of you suffer from because of our bloodlines. Just don’t give up on her Aiden, you won’t find anyone that involved in you in this life. It’s very rare for anyone to have that. On one hand I am jealous but on the other hand I am happy for the both of you. You two have a lot of obstacles you are going to have to overcome because no one and I mean no one, is going to understand your love.”
I couldn’t sleep that night all I could think about was Jasmine. Her smile, her tears of joy, and the way she looked at me, but most of all the way she kissed me. It was intoxicating. The sun seemed to take forever to rise but once it did I was up and getting ready to leave and go spend the day with my girlfriend. Girlfriend—that sounded strange but it felt right. Jasmine was my girlfriend. I wanted to leave before Tony came over but in Tony-fashion he was there bright and early. He was still upset with me but eager to understand my insanity. After explaining everything to him, besides the part about Sarah’s abilities, he just stared at me. I wanted to tell him that it was okay, Sarah could see into her soul and she knew Jasmine’s feelings were real but I couldn’t. I made a promise and some promises, no matter how painful, can never be broken. He still thought I was crazy and made it clear that he would never trust Jasmine but we both agreed to give this a chance.
“I’ll always have your back, dude,” Tony said. “I had your back when we both thought you were a serial killer and I will have your back now even though I think you are a serial idiot.”
Tony could tell I was anxious and asked me what was I so eager about. I told him that I was going to go see Jasmine and maybe take her to the movies or something.
“Wait a minute, you are going to her house?”
“Yeah, why not?”
“Oh man, I need whatever drugs you are on because you are blissfully stupid. Dude, it’s hard to believe she’s in love with you but let’s say she is—do you think the rest of her Shadow family feels the same way? You actually think they are at their house right now cooking a ‘nice welcome to the family’ breakfast for you? You are a Baraqu—wait, you are not just Baraqu, you are a Baraqu warrior, and from what you’ve told me most Shadows aren’t too fond of your company.”
“Dude, I’m sure she’s told her family about us.”
“Really? If so, you have no need to go to her house because all of them would be here by now taking turns whopping both your asses. So are you going to tell your mom and Manny?”
“My mom maybe but not Manny. He might try and kill her.”
“Yeah, I don’t blame him.”
“Wait a minute!”
“Hey Aiden, I’m just keeping it real with you bro. Manny has been fighting and killing Shadows for years and I don’t think he has any reservations about toe-tagging another one, especially if she’s claimin
g to be your girlfriend.”
“Yeah you got a point. But still, it’s my life and I should be able to love whomever I want.”
Tony just gave me a blank stare and shook his head at me.
“Hey Aiden, the next time you go to the drug man for that liquid idiot he has please order me a couple of valves as well.”
“Whatever, dude, you’ll learn to trust her someday.”
“I think I should learn how to be with one girl first before I learn that lesson. Anyway, don’t let me hold you from making a fool of yourself at ‘Chateau de Shadows.’ I’ll talk to you later bro. Have fun.”
I was on my way out the door when Sarah stopped me.
“Aiden, where you headed?”
“To Jasmine’s house.”
“Really? Does she know you’re coming?”
“No, I want to surprise her.”
“I wouldn’t advise that Aiden. Text her first because you two still have a lot to discuss.”
I didn’t want to text her first; I wanted to show up at her door with roses in hand and an invitation to dinner and a movie. But after what Sarah told me about her abilities last night I decided to trust her insight on this relationship so I sent Jasmine a good morning text. She responded immediately with “good morning, my love.” Just reading that sent chills through my body. Man, this girl had me wide open. I responded concerning my plans and she texted me back saying how sweet I was but she wanted to talk to me at our spot. Our spot? Yes, the tree where you wanted to kill me but kissed me instead. She really knew how to put you on the spot; somehow I felt that I would never live down that confrontation at the tree….ever. Tony came downstairs and saw me sitting on the couch and asked me why wasn’t I gone. After telling him what she said he laughed and said,
