Chapter 11
What I Wouldn't Do
Because of the way I had behaved, or maybe because of the way Michel had, I didn't need to make an accord with Amun. Michel did, sharing blood and repeating words that sealed his fate. And mine. Although there was no need for me to get tied into a non-breakable agreement, it had been obvious to all present that I was under Michel's command and control. Therefore Amun did not insist on my participation in the contract that Michel and he performed.
I wondered if that had been Michel's intention all along, why he had come across as the heavy handed master from the start, so I would avoid this commitment. I was still uncomfortable with the events as they had transpired, but I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. Michel had only been protecting me. It sounded right, it was easy to believe, so I tried.
More wine was brought out after the ceremony, cases of the stuff covered in dust. Amun was aiming to impress. Michel extolled his pleasure at the offering, talking vintages and styles and tastes for quite some time. Amun seemed relaxed and at ease, having obtained exactly what he had set out to get. The party moved into the club itself, an opportunity for Michel to fulfil part of his side of the agreement. His presence in the Egyptian's club for all to see. I was just along for the ride, Michel's arm firmly around my shoulders. My attendance all that was required. I didn't have to join in on the conversation, but Michel made sure I looked like I was having fun.
The odd command mentally given to: smile, relax, calm the fuck down. He was, without a doubt, unamused by my performance this night. I just longed for it all to be over, but I did what he commanded. Smiled, pretended to relax and made an effort to calm the fuck down. He squeezed my shoulder when I was attempting the last, a small quirk of his lips at the corners of his mouth the only indication he was present in my head at all.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity, we had obviously proven our intent and stayed long enough, because Michel made our excuses, shaking hands with Amun in an openly friendly way and we left. Jackets and weapons returned, most of the night long since past. Michel still had his arm draped over my shoulder, unable or unwilling to let me step away.
There had been a lot of attention in the club. From vampires, the odd fairy and the like. Not only had Michel's presence, and his and Amun's relaxed manner with each other sent a message to the supernatural creatures tonight, but his possessive and protective stance around me hadn't gone unnoticed either.
I spotted the dragon-shifter moments before we left. I was unsure how long Sebastian had been there, watching, but I decided not to draw attention to his presence. I had more pressing things on mind. Like why Michel had gone into an accord with Amun, why he was prepared to relinquish the illusion of power to the Egyptian in such a way. I was dumbfounded by his behaviour and stood silently fuming on the edge of the footpath while we waited for the Range Rover to arrive.
No doubt Michel was well aware of my mental musings. He'd been inside my head the entire night. Maybe not communicating, he seemed incapable of that, but listening - I was sure. But he didn't say a thing as we waited for our vehicle to arrive. Just continued to hold on to me at his side, his thumb gently rubbing my shoulder through the material of my jacket.
Normally that would be a welcomed caress, but as soon as the car appeared and Sergei opened the passenger door for us to climb in, I pulled out of Michel's grasp roughly and escaped to my side of the seat. Nataliya and Marcus took up their spots in the rear, Sergei and Matthias in the front and we were set. The car pulled away smoothly from the kerb, Sebastian smirking at me from the crowd outside the door.
Silence descended on the Rover as we gently rolled down the clogged inner city streets. I was so angry about the entire evening I didn't know where to begin to rant and rave. What should I shout about first? The fact that Michel treated me like a possession, something to command and control? Or maybe the fact that he hadn't communicated - again - and prepared me for what he intended to do? Or maybe I should just scream out my frustrations with this city, with our new obligations to the Master who ran the show? What had Michel been thinking?
Did I even know this man at all?
"Lucinda," Michel began, startling every one of us in the car. The vamps recovered quicker than me, my heart had leapt into my throat at his low and steady, yet decidedly angry voice. A fight or flight reflex kicking in, making my heartbeat treble and my breath all but cease to exist. "It is the nature of the game."
I turned to look to at him, unsure exactly what he wanted to me to say. Are we having this conversation now? In the car? In front of our guards? He glared at me and then ran a frustrated hand through his long hair, making it come loose from its clasp at the back of his head. The glorious midnight strands fell about his shoulders, but neither he, nor I, paid them any attention.
OK then, now.
"What game?" I asked, my voice steady.
"The game of politics, of course."
I huffed a breath out at his derisive reply. "Excuse me for thinking it didn't seem a particularly wise political move," I said through gritted teeth in response.
Sanguis Vitam began to accumulate in the car. From M&M in readiness to defend their master. From Sergei and Nataliya ready to do the same for me.
"Oh for crying out loud!" I exclaimed. "Rein it back in!" It had started to prickle against my skin and my Light had accumulated in a natural protective response. Immediately the vampires all complied, the car becoming a less formidable environment. At least from vampire life force, Michel's arched eyebrow at me said I wasn't out of danger just yet.
I took a deep calming breath in, then when he didn't add anything further decided I'd try to meet him halfway.
"So... you're just gonna go around kissing his butt whenever he needs it." I could hardly see Michel ever doing that, but that was what the accord with Amun equated to, as far as I could see.
Michel frowned, surprisingly he hadn't been up until then. "Eloquent as usual, my dear. But if that is what it takes, yes."
I just stared at him dumbfounded. This was not the Michel I knew.
"Sometimes we must do things we do not want to do, ma douce." Oh was it lesson time? Then something occurred to me, I leaned in closer and lowered my voice to a whisper. Useless, as all those in the car would easily hear, but it was the natural thing to do.
"Are you doing this because of the baby?" I wasn't sure why he would, but since he'd become aware of the possibility of the baby, he had been acting very strangely indeed.
Michel hesitated, his eyes holding mine, but they had softened around the edges, his anger contained or dissipating, I wasn't sure which.
"No. I had already concluded, when I first met with Amun, that this would be the eventual outcome of us living here."
My breath left me in a rush. "Why didn't you warn me?"
He looked pained, something I was seeing too frequently for my liking. My hand automatically came out to rest on his. He grasped it immediately and began stroking the back of it with his thumb.
"I am prepared to kill to break the accord if need be." Whoa, where had that come from? "I have already told you, ma douce, there is nothing I wouldn't do to keep you safe."
"Safe?" I asked, all blood draining from my face.
He sighed and ran a hand through his hair again. "He is the Master of the City, my dear. I have no intention of taking his place, but I am stronger, more powerful and more connected than him. I am a natural threat. I will do what I have to do to convince him I mean him no harm. Thereby keeping us in a modicum of safety."
Oh.
We stared at each other for quite some time as his words slowly sunk in. Not for the first time I wondered why we had to stay here. Why couldn't we move somewhere else? Somewhere I could be happy, where he wouldn't need to compromise his ideals to such a degree. London was not for us, but Michel had chosen to base us here. I'm not well travelled, I didn't know any better when he made the arrangements for our move. But I wondered now if he had made a
mistake and whether he was just sticking to his decision out of a stubborn need to not back down.
But then, where else could we go? I couldn't even settle on a holiday location for Kathleen and Matthew to investigate retreats. I relied on Michel's judgement for these things. But it didn't mean I had to like his decisions.
Michel woke me from my mental ramblings with a chuckle at my thoughts.
"Oh, you do soothe my ego so, ma douce," he murmured as he lifted my hand to his lips and laid a kiss there. I couldn't hide my responding smile. What was I going to do with this man?
He cocked his head to the side, raised his eyebrows and gave me a salacious grin. Then unbuckling his seatbelt, scooted over to my side of the car and wrapped an arm around my shoulders, running his nose against the skin on the side of my neck.
"Anything," he purred. "Anything you want. I am yours."
Lust bloomed inside me the instant he came near. His touch, his warmth, his words. Him. It didn't take long to ignite that ever burning flame within. I turned my face towards him, fully intending to take him up on the offer, despite our audience in the car. I'd come a long way since I first met Michel, a little PDA was acceptable now.
His lips brushed against mine and he sucked on my bottom lip, his teeth grazing and tugging, making sensations explode lower in my body and my back arch towards him in a blatant invitation to take more. He moaned softly against me, slipped his tongue between my teeth and deepened the kiss further; savouring me, tasting me, devouring me.
We were heading into treacherous waters, I knew he wanted more, but even if a little PDA was acceptable, I was concerned I'd unleashed the beast and wouldn't be able to keep up. He chuckled again at my thoughts and pulled back slightly. His eyes shone magenta in flashes of amethyst. He licked his lips and glanced down at my mouth, his fingers and thumb holding my jaw still. He wouldn't let me pull back or look away, he simply proceeded to drink me in with his eyes alone. Letting me know exactly what he had in mind, what he'd be doing right now, if we weren't confined to such a small space with four other vampires in tow.
I laughed a little at his behaviour and then bit my bottom lip when he raised an eyebrow in response. Michel of old wouldn't have stopped - he wouldn't have let it get too far either, but he certainly wouldn't have stopped. I wondered if it had anything to do with his new found over-the-top protection desires. Unwilling for anyone else to see his vampire mate so.
He smiled and gave one short nod of his head in consideration. Yeah, he wanted me to himself.
He leaned back in his seat letting out a sharp bark of laughter. "I should bloody well hope so, ma douce."
By the time we arrived at his house - not Samson's I noted - we were laughing and quite at ease. So much of the tension from this evening evaporated. I was grateful for the reprieve. I didn't want to dwell on all that had transpired. I just wanted to enjoy the rest of the evening in the company of my husband. No worries, no concerns. I'd no doubt have to deal with them all again tomorrow, but for now I just wanted a moment of peace. A moment for us.
I had even decided I'd delay Walking to Avery until tomorrow. I could do it during daylight hours if need be. I'd done that before, although he had been expecting me tonight, things had come up. He'd have to live with the delay. I was tired and weakness from the lack of contact with my joined kindred was beginning to take its toll, but the night was late and I doubted there'd be any more surprises I'd have to battle.
Avoidance? Maybe. But I was happy and I just couldn't face raining on my parade.
Michel held my hand and hummed to himself softy as we walked up the steps to his house. Even the thought of the dreary interior failed to get me down. For the first time in weeks I felt connected to my man. We may not have solved all of our communication problems, but being together, in any capacity, seemed to have a healing influence on our relationship status. I'd take whatever I could get.
The smells of baking assaulted my nose as soon as we got inside. Voices in the front room, the clatter of utensils and crockery from the kitchen, and then the roar of a welcoming fire met my ears. Matthew and Christopher were in the parlour talking animatedly about the latest football score of some local team, which meant Kathleen had commandeered the kitchen. My stomach grumbled in anticipation.
Michel pulled me against his body, wrapping his arms around my shoulders and waist, and pressing a kiss to my cheek.
"You are hungry," he whispered against me, as the guards all came traipsing into the room and started joining in the talk with Matthew and Christopher. "You should eat."
"I was hoping for something else," I grumbled quietly. He gave me a beaming smile in return.
"That can wait, ma douce. Go see what Kathleen has created, I need to check on a few things anyway." He released me, pulling his cellphone out of his jacket pocket and shooting a look at Nataliya, clearly indicating she should accompany me on my quest for food. Nataliya jumped to attention and nodded back in agreement.
I sighed. I'd just been out voted.
By the time we'd made to the back of the house where the kitchen sat, I was salivating at the delicious smells coming from the dark, but cosy room. Kathleen was singing softly to herself as she pottered about the space, lifting muffin trays from the oven, moving biscuits from a wire rack to a container and generally fluffing about the place.
She turned as we came in the room and smiled welcomingly. "There you are! Take a seat," she urged, setting a plate of assorted freshly baked goodies before me and turning back to the bench to pour a steaming cup of hot chocolate. Normally I'd go for coffee, but the hot chocolate smelled so divine I didn't complain. I also didn't wait to be told to dig in, the vampires may have eaten this evening, but I hadn't.
Nataliya sat next to me and watched with ill concealed amusement and Kathleen continued on with her sorting and packing and cleaning of the kitchen benches. In between tasks she regaled me about her search so far for holiday homes. She'd found three possibles in Britain, but had just discovered one further afield which held promise. She refused to divulge where it was.
"It's a surprise," she said, mysteriously. "I know you suggested Great Britain, but I have a good feeling about this one."
"And you're sure you won't tell me where it is?" I asked around a mouthful of chocolate chip cookie. If Michel knew this was my supper, he'd have a hissy fit for sure.
She smiled at me, but wouldn't succumb to my nagging. Finally after several cookies, a couple of pieces of apple pie and whipped cream, and a hot date scone with strawberry jam, I felt full. Usually I couldn't eat this amount of food when I had not been near my joined kindred for three days, but I'd noticed lately that the effects, although still quite tiring, weren't quite as debilitating as they had been previously. It occurred to me, as I ran these thoughts through my head, that I had always been worse for wear when separated from Michel for the same amount of time in the past - when we were joined of course. To the point of collapse. But with Avery things were different.
Not only had he not received as much power as Michel had when I joined with him, and that power was retreating as well it seemed, but the effects of distance weren't as strong either. The entire joining was not as strong. It made me smile and a small sound of laughter escaped my lips. Avery and the Champion had been so sure that our joining would be all it took to close the portals to Álfheimr. But not only had Michel had no problem keeping them open undetected, but the power from the joining that the Iunctio had received, was making little difference to their coffers.
My smile fell as I thought that through to conclusion. It wouldn't be long before the Keeper became aware and what then? I swallowed the last of my second cup of hot chocolate and looked up into Kathleen's compassionate eyes. She had finished her tasks and had taken a seat at the table, unbeknownst to me. In her hands, resting on the table top, was a small rectangular box. She was rolling it over and over as though uncertain of what to do.
I leaned back and took a deep breath in, the glorious food I'd
just eaten forming solid lumps of dead weight at the bottom of my gut. I rubbed my stomach as a queasiness set in and then halted my movement as I realised what I was rubbing, and the reason Kathleen sat before me with a pregnancy test kit.
"Are you sure you want to do this, mistress?" Kathleen asked kindly.
I couldn't form any words of reply. Did I want to do this? One way or another I would know, but knowing was not necessarily a good thing. If I was pregnant, then it would be real. If I wasn't pregnant, then my dreams - recently found - would be lost all over again. Could I handle that?
Oh Goddess, now I felt sick. I leaned forward and wrapped an arm around my stomach, my other hand coming up to cover my mouth. Nataliya pulled her chair closer and started rubbing my back. Kathleen looked heart broken, but underneath that was a determination only a mother could possess.
"Whatever the outcome," she said softly, pushing the test kit across the table towards me, "he will still love you. You will still have him."
She was right. Michel would continue to love me if I was pregnant with Lutin's child, or if I was back where I started and unable to have a child at all. That knowledge, that no matter what, he would still be there, was enough for me to reach for the kit and pull it towards me. I could do this. I had to do this. I needed to know and once we knew, we could get on with our lives. One way or the other.
I stood silently, Nataliya coming to her feet at my side, and walked from the room to the toilet next door. Nataliya stood still in the hallway, her eyes holding mine for a second, compassion and understanding obvious on her face. Then I closed the door and took another deep but shaky breath in. A light tremor ran through my hands, my face looked deathly pale in the mirror when I looked up above the sink. My mouth was dry.
I could do this.
I pried the box open and quickly read the instructions. Then had to read them again to make sure I had understood. And because I was stalling, read them for a third time. I realised I'd started panting and needed to get a handle on my emotions or Michel would become aware. Not that he received them anymore, but if I was upset enough he'd sense it. Even without a joining we were connected more so than Avery and I.
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