by Maggi Petton
It was then that the grief struck. I knew in an instant that I was alone. Catherine and Bella, my constant companions for these past many months, were gone.
Perhaps you will think me mad. Perhaps I am. But I felt their leaving like a shot through my chest. The pain was real. The grief was overwhelming. It was all I could do not to begin weeping. I was suddenly exhausted…physically, emotionally and spiritually exhausted.
The remainder of my time in Italy passed as, apparently, only time in Italy can pass. The days were over before I knew it, but the weeks seemed to move slowly. I developed a routine of writing, of wandering, of drinking wine and of thinking about all that had happened to me in the past eight months. I did enjoy every bit of Italy, although my last night there, as I wandered the streets of Rome, was painful. I’m not sure if it was because it was my last night, or because I chose to spend it alone, wandering aimlessly, looking for heaven knows what.
I know I was lonesome, lonelier than I remembered feeling in quite some time. But, even now, I can’t say if the loneliness was carved from my loss of Catherine and Bella, or the kind of emptiness one feels when a dream fades. My dreams of Italy were drawing to a close. Maybe it was the realization that the story of Catherine and Bella was nearing its end in my life. Perhaps it was because I was missing my family acutely. Wherever my sadness came from, I could not shake it, so I let it accompany me as I went back to the Borgo. I wandered in and out of shops, sat at an outdoor café to enjoy my last meal and carafe of wine, and strolled into St. Peter’s Square.
A group of singers was in the square. The harmony of their voices soared over the sounds of the water fountain and I was drawn toward them. As if to emphasize my desolation, they turned, in unison, leaving as I approached. So I went back to the tiered water fountain for the sheer comfort of her sounds. When I realized that the splashing of the water into itself only echoed the emptiness I felt, I went back to my room.
It was time to go home.
December 2008
It is finished. Less than a year in the making. I know that is a very short time to work on a book. But I did have help, lots of help.
Catherine and Bella were key, of course. My family, in their infinite patience and support gave me time, sending me off to Italy when we could not afford it, to help me fulfill a dream.
Whether or not Catherine and Bella lived real lives in sixteenth century Italy, I am convinced that this story came from outside of me and on some level is true. There are stories out there in the universe that just need to be told. I may never know why I was picked to tell this one. But this much I do know; the experience of writing this story, of researching everything I could about the Inquisition and sixteenth century life, of meeting new people and finding out about long gone ones, of falling in love with another time, another place, another culture, and, especially, the coincidence of being led to a place that I had spent the better part of eight months seeing in my mind, all of it transformed me in the most marvelous way.
Initially, I did experience a profound grief over the loss of Catherine and Bella. They have not returned since I left the Palazzo. My sadness ebbed slowly away and the empty space miraculously filled with an abundance of appreciation and joy of life’s mysteries.
I still can’t explain it, and I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to. I confess I am left wondering about the confines of linear time and space.
But maybe, just maybe, the universe has a way of making certain that none of us are forgotten…even after almost five hundred years.
Fine
Sources
Estimates of the Number Killed by the Papacy in the Middle Ages and Later ©2006
David A. Plaisted
A great deal of information about the Inquisition came from this paper. The accounts of atrocities throughout Europe and the Americas, as presented by Father Tim’s brother, Thomas, borrowed liberally from it.
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Kathryn Hinds
Benchmark Books/Marshall Cavendish Corporation
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Enchanted Lion Books
The Writer’s Guide to Everyday Life in Renaissance England (1485-1649) ©1996
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Writer’s Digest Books
Web Sources:
http://www.answers.com/topic/inquisition
http://www.alleanzacattolica.org/idis_dpf/english/i_medieval_inquisition.htm
http://womenshistory.about.com/od/medieval/Medieval_and_Renaissance_Womens_History.htm
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Wikipedia.com
Table of Contents
Introduction
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty One
Chapter Twenty Two
Chapter Twenty Three
Chapter Twenty Four
Chapter Twenty Five
Chapter Twenty Six
Chapter Twenty Seven
Chapter Twenty Eight
Chapter Twenty Nine
Chapter Thirty
Chapter Thirty One
Chapter Thirty Two
Chapter Thirty Three
Chapter Thirty Four
Chapter Thirty Five
Chapter Thirty Six
Chapter Thirty Seven
Chapter Thirty Eight
Chapter Thirty Nine
Chapter Forty
Chapter Forty One
Chapter Forty Two
Chapter Forty Three
Chapter Forty Four
Chapter Forty Five
Chapter Forty Six
Chapter Forty Seven
Chapter Forty Eight
Chapter Forty Nine
Chapter Fifty
Chapter Fifty One
Chapter Fifty Two
Chapter Fifty Three
Chapter Fifty Four
Chapter Fifty Five
Epilogue
Sources
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