by Jenny McKane
Avalon sat back, thinking. “What else was said in this meeting, Escolen? Did Agnor outline anything of what this new attack might look like?”
Escolen sighed. “If only. But he is too clever for that. He would be aware that even in top-secret meetings, they have a leak.”
“What does it matter?” said Minna, her eyes glittering defiantly. “Whether they all get to this safe house and make a plan? We have the numbers in the Far North, and they know it. They cannot hope to defeat us.”
Skyresh shook his head. “Agnor will keep trying to find a way. We must not become complacent.”
“It is true,” said Mother Asta. “I have sensed recently that there is a new power emerging. They have been training someone in the dark magic to replace the Black Witch.”
“The Black Witch?” scoffed Brunn. “She was defeated years ago, and they haven’t managed to replace her yet.”
Avalon closed her eyes, picturing the Black Witch before her. She had been so powerful—and so clever. Avalon had been close to defeat. It had only been luck—and her animals—that had saved her from the evil power of the sorcerer. She shuddered.
“Do not fear, my queen,” said Mother Asta, turning to her. “You defeated that great sorcerer, and you were untrained then. If a new one emerges, you will triumph. Your powers have grown so much.”
Avalon smiled. “Your confidence in me warms my heart, Mother Asta.”
Skyresh squirmed impatiently. “I think that we shouldn’t get distracted by this new scenario,” he said quickly. “Yes, we should monitor it, but I think that most of our energies should be invested in our bigger plan.”
“Scaling the High Wall?” said Escolen, leaning back in his seat.
“Yes.” Skyresh ran a hand through his hair. “That is what we are working towards. If we manage to get our forces over the High Wall, then we can advance on the city. We can defeat them—finally!”
“The High Wall is secure,” mumbled Mother Asta. “I have explained this to you before, Skyresh. Avalon and I have been working on a spell to counteract its might, but we are not there yet. You must be patient.”
Skyresh sighed. “We have the numbers,” he entreated. “Even without the magic, we can scale the wall at its weakest spots and overrun the South. If Escolen could get in contact with his sources, we could raise forces on the other side of the wall to meet us when we scale it!”
Escolen tapped his fingers on the side of his seat, thinking. “It could work,” he said slowly. “But it would take time to get word to them and raise the necessary number. You forget, Skyresh, that the southern Stromel are not empowered as we are in the Far North. The Jarle still rule them completely.”
“Don’t they want liberation?” hissed Minna, leaning forward. “We have suffered and bled for the cause in the North. Is it too much to ask our southern brothers and sisters to do the same?”
“It is not too much to ask,” said Mother Asta slowly. “But it is true what Escolen says, Minna. The Stromel in the Far North have been fighting for years and gained power. The southern Stromel are still under the fist of the Jarle and will be frightened to rise against them if there is no guarantee of victory.”
“The consequences are high for them,” said Avalon, thinking deeply. “If they rise and then are defeated, they will suffer badly.” She shook her head. “No. If we are going to ask them to do it, then we must make sure that victory is assured. To assure victory, we must wait for the magic.”
Skyresh stared at her, his eyes narrowed. “So, we must wait then? When do you think you will manage to work a spell to defeat the High Wall? You have been meditating on it and experimenting for months now.”
Avalon felt like he had just slapped her in the face. The contempt in his tone was so obvious, everyone in the room gasped.
“That is unfair, Skyresh,” said Mother Asta slowly. “You do not understand the complexity of it. Your queen is working very hard to find a way, and you must respect that.”
Skyresh was silent, staring straight ahead. Minna turned and smiled at Avalon, but there was no warmth in it.
“It’s alright, Mother Asta,” said Avalon, taking a deep breath. “I understand everyone’s impatience with the situation. It is true that it is harder than we anticipated, but I beseech you all that it will come. Once it does, then we have the necessary strength to attack the High Wall and invade the South.”
Escolen nodded. “I agree, my queen,” he said. “It would be folly to advance and attack without it. The chance of defeat would be high, and then what? If our forces are decimated, the Far North becomes vulnerable again, and we will lose what we have gained.”
“Just so,” said Mother Asta, nodding her head. “I am glad that you see the bigger picture, Escolen. Attacking for the sake of it is never the answer. I think that Avalon and I should keep working on the magic, and that you should all concentrate on finding out what Agnor has planned at this safe house.”
Brunn nodded. “I will send out word to the villages to be on the lookout for them. As soon as we know where they are, we can act from there.”
Skyresh’s jaw tightened. “It shouldn’t be too hard to find them,” he said. “You said that the commanders are travelling here? Just be on the lookout for Everard Varr. He is the city commander now, isn’t he, Avalon?”
Everyone held their breath, waiting for her reply. No one looked at her.
“I have heard that he is now in that position,” she said, trying to keep her voice even. “So, yes, he will probably be heading north. Maybe you could keep an eye out for him, Skyresh?”
Skyresh glared at her. “I hope to never lay eyes on that man again, but I will do as you command, my queen.”
The room was silent.
“So be it.” Avalon stood up, taking a deep breath. “We will wait for word on where they are meeting and act from there. Mother and I will keep trying to create the spell, and in the meantime, I am due to visit the villages, and I do not like to keep my people waiting.”
She swept out of the tent, not looking at anyone. Even so, she could feel Minna’s eyes on her. They were mocking, as always.
She walked straight to Sidsel, mounting the horse in one swift movement. In less than a minute, she was riding over the plains, heading deep into the mountains.
***
Avalon slowed down the horse after an hour of intense uphill riding. The air was getting thinner and poor Sidsel was struggling. Hansa had run alongside her, as well, and needed a drink.
She found a stream and led the horse towards it. Sidsel bent her head to the water gratefully. Hansa was already gulping from the stream. Neither noticed as she walked further uphill, finding a rock to sit upon.
She gazed out, over the vast winter landscape. The great snow-topped mountains sat in the distance. She shivered, pulling her cloak tighter around herself. She should be in the first village within a half hour, if they didn’t stay long here.
She knew that her people didn’t like her travelling alone, but it was the one thing that she insisted on. It was the only time that she had to herself anymore. The only time that she could remember that she was Avalon, and who that woman was before the title of queen, with all its responsibilities, had claimed her.
She could still see Skyresh glaring at her. Sorrow overwhelmed her. They had once been so close, and now it was like he was a stranger to her. Oh, he was loyal, but he never confided in her anymore. She tried to pinpoint when it had first happened.
But, of course, she already knew. It was like picking at a scab, but she could not help it sometimes.
It had started when they were still in the Outlying Zone. Before they had come to the Far North, gathering their forces. Before they had achieved their first, splendid victory at Vyheim Castle.
Avalon sighed, bending to pick up some snow. She let it fall softly between her fingers, as she remembered. In some ways, things had been simpler then. Sometimes, she yearned for that time back.
She had defeated the Black Witch a
nd had just liberated the animals. They were all so happy. Even Everard had been happy…for a little while.
They had discussed what they were going to do now. Having the animals as their allies again meant that the rebels were now a force to be reckoned with. Skyresh had been impatient to return to Agnoria. He missed his people, and he never felt truly alive when he wasn’t fighting alongside them.
Everard had been slowly recovering from the cruel spell that had been cast upon him. Avalon had managed to change him back into a young man again, but he had still been weak. Mother Oda had told her to be patient. It would take a while before his former strength and vitality returned.
So, they had waited. But it never happened. Instead, Everard had gotten worse. He was not a frail old man anymore, but he was severely traumatized by what had happened to him. He could not shake off the memories of his years in the cave with the creatures. He would spend hours alone. When he was with them, he never spoke, and Avalon would hear him cry out, many times, in the night.
Dreams tormented him. He grew sadder and silent. Avalon’s heart started breaking for him, all over again.
And with it, came the guilt. She had caused this. He had never wanted to leave Agnoria or abandon his life there. He had only done so for her.
A month passed. Mother Oda came to her one day and asked to speak to her alone.
“Avalon,” she had said, sighing. “I think that you must leave Everard here. Skyresh is impatient to get back to Agnoria and continue the fight, and you must be with him. You are the queen, and you lead the animals.”
“Leave him?” Avalon had cried. “I am not leaving him! He is my friend, and he has sacrificed so much!”
Mother Oda had shaken her head. “He will not get better, Avalon. The trauma is too much for him. He is a shell of the man that he was. I am sorry, my queen, but it is the truth. He will never fight alongside you or be the man that he was again.”
Tears had streamed down Avalon’s face. “What if I can make it better for him?”
Mother Oda had frowned. “What do you mean?”
Avalon had taken a deep breath. “I mean, can’t I weave a spell to make him forget everything that has happened to him?”
“Wipe his memory?” Mother Oda kept frowning. “It could work…but there is no way of controlling it entirely, Avalon. He might forget all about you for instance.”
Avalon had taken another deep breath. “That would be for the best,” she said slowly. “I am not talking about just making him forget his time in the cave. I want him to forget everything that has happened, Mother Oda. I want him to not even remember who I am.”
“Are you sure?” said Mother Oda. “But…he loves you, Avalon.”
Avalon had shaken her head. “Yes, but it has taken everything from him,” she said. “The love. He has lost his former life that meant so much to him, and now he has lost his will to live. It is too much.” She slumped. “I cannot return his love, not in the way that he wants. I have tried, but I am so confused with my feelings. It is cruel to make him live with that. I want him to forget me, and everything that has happened since he met me.”
“I see,” said Mother Oda slowly. “You want to do it out of kindness for him.”
“Yes,” Avalon had whispered, tears streaming down her face. “He is a shell of a man now, as you said. This way, he can be who he was always meant to be before he met me.”
Mother Oda had cried a bit, too. “We will try, my queen,” she had said, bowing her head.
They had found the right spell and made Everard forget all his trauma. He didn’t know who any of them were anymore. He had completely forgotten everything that had happened to him.
They had taken him with them when they had advanced on the Far North. On the night that they had ambushed Vyheim Castle and burnt it to the ground, they had set him free.
It had been one of the hardest things that Avalon had ever done.
And Skyresh had never forgiven her for it.
Chapter Four
Skyresh stood at the entrance to the large tent, watching as Avalon mounted her horse and rode like the wind towards the mountains. She wouldn’t return for a day, at least. He had wanted to speak to her before she left, but as always, she had not given him an opportunity.
His blue eyes narrowed, as he watched her long, dark hair flying behind her as she sped away. He never tired of watching her riding on her horse. It was as if she and the animal had become one entity, a fluid meshing of woman and creature. It was in these moments that he truly realized that she was a queen, a great warrior and Queen of the Anasta.
“You shouldn’t speak to her like that.”
He turned around quickly. Mother Asta stood beside him, watching Avalon as well. The Mother leaned heavily on her staff. She had aged in the time that he had been in the Outlying Zone, and in the years since, she had become so frail that sometimes he thought a strong wind might blow her over.
He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “She can take it,” he said shortly. “She is tougher than you think, and she realizes that in council meetings there will be differences of opinion.”
“I am not talking about that, Skyresh,” said the Mother. “Of course council meetings will get heated sometimes. It is the way that we work out what is the best way forward.” She turned and gazed at him. “I am talking about the contempt that you hold for her. You are too obvious with it.”
Skyresh’s lips tightened. “I do not hold her in contempt,” he said. “I recognize that she is a great queen. We couldn’t have advanced so far without her.”
Mother Asta continued gazing at him. “No, none of this would have been possible without her,” she replied. “She is the one who has united the animals and the people. She is the one who holds the power to defeat Agnor, once and for all. And she is a symbol of hope to the people, Skyresh.”
He nodded. “I know all this, Mother Asta.”
The old woman gripped his arm. “Then show her that you do!” she entreated him. “I understand that there are personal issues between you and Avalon. I will not involve myself in them, but you must separate the woman from the queen. You are her general, her right-hand man. A queen needs to have the unswerving loyalty and respect of her general, Skyresh.”
His fists tightened. “She has all of that,” he hissed. “I am loyal to her, beyond question. As for respect, well, there are things that have happened between us, decisions that she has made, that I do not agree with.”
“You are speaking about the man, aren’t you?” Mother Asta said. “The man that travelled with you all, who suffered so much in the Outlying Zone.”
Skyresh’s heart started to beat faster at the thought of Everard Varr.
“Yes,” he said eventually. “She should never have let him go free. I told her not to, over and over, but she wouldn’t listen to me, would she? And now look at him. A top commander for Agnoria. Hell bent on destroying her. On destroying all of us.”
Mother Asta gazed over the mountains. “I know little of the story,” she said. “It hurts Avalon to speak of it. I know that it cost her deeply to make that choice.”
Skyresh looked down at his feet. “I never understood what she saw in him,” he said slowly. “He was never on our side. When we journeyed through the Outlying Zone, to attack the Black Witch in the Tower, he was like a thorn in our side. I tried to tell her, but again, her feelings blinded her to the reality.”
“The Black Witch cast the never-ending spell on him, didn’t she?”
Skyresh nodded. “Yes. When we found him, he was a broken, old man. Time had moved differently for him in the creature’s lair. He had been ensnared in there for years.”
“But Avalon and the Mother in the Safe Zone reversed the spell?”
Skyresh nodded again. “It cost her,” he said. “But she did it. He became a young man again, but he never recovered from it.”
Mother Asta leaned on her staff. “I have seen it before,” she muttered. “Even when the spell is brok
en, the trauma of the experience does not dissipate. His mind was still ensnared in some way. You must understand how upsetting that must have been for her, Skyresh, and why she decided to wipe his memory completely.”
Skyresh nodded reluctantly. “I understand,” he said slowly. “She felt guilty. He had abandoned his life as a guardian in Agnoria for her, without ever being committed to the rebellion, and it had broken him. She wanted to fix it in whatever way that she could.”
Mother Asta stared at him. “So, why do you still hold onto it? Why can’t you forgive her?”
Skyresh sighed. It was a good question, and one that he could never answer completely. He had tried to move on from it, but Avalon hadn’t wanted to either. It had changed things between them. She had grown remote and stopped confiding in him.
“You love her, don’t you?” The old woman fixed her bleary eyes on his. He felt unable to break the gaze.
Skyresh sighed. “What does it matter anymore? Yes, I loved her once. I wanted us to be together, forever. But she doesn’t love me in the same way, and she never will.”
Mother Asta kept staring at him. “You do not know what is in her heart,” she whispered.
The old woman broke eye contact with him and stared around the camp until her eyes came to rest upon Minna. The auburn-haired woman was talking with some people, laughing at something. As if she sensed the Mother’s eyes upon her, she glanced up quickly. Her green eyes softened as she gazed at Skyresh.
“Do you think it is fair on Minna?” said Mother Asta, turning back to him.
Skyresh’s jaw tightened. “I do not know what you mean, Mother.”
“Don’t you?” the old woman said. “Everyone knows how much she loves you, Skyresh…how much she has always loved you since you were children. But…do you love her in the same way?”
Skyresh rolled his eyes. “I love her,” he said shortly. “Maybe I will never love her in the same way that she loves me. Maybe in life there is only ever one person whom we love in that way, but if that person doesn’t return that love, we must move on.”
