by Clarissa Yip
“Ms. Burke. It’s in regard to your husband,” Ryan stated. Her eyebrow lifted, face paling with apprehension.
Kane lifted his hand, but then dropped it to his side. His fingers clenched as he pushed aside the urge to comfort her before the blow. “I’m sorry, Lauren.”
“What? What is it? What did Daniel do?” She crossed her arms over her chest again, eyes hardening to a deep amethyst as if hardening herself from the worst-case scenario.
Ryan flickered an annoyed glance at him. His partner was usually the subtle one, and he was the opposite, but how could Ryan understand that this was the one woman he’d almost let near his heart? The one he’d literally run from?
“Whatever it is, Kane, I can handle it. I’m not that naive girl you once knew. You don’t need to treat me like glass.”
The steel strength in her tone almost convinced him she could handle anything. He would have applauded her for her courage if he weren’t the one who was once again disrupting her life.
Kane drew a deep breath. He had no choice. She had to know.
“Your husband’s dead.”
Chapter Two
Daniel was gone.
Lauren sat on a wooden bench. A breeze blew in from the windows of the police precinct while she waited in front of the reception counter. The room was stuffy and hot, but goose bumps rose over her skin like a rash. She tightened her arms around herself and stared at the floor. Specks of dust and dirt marred the tiles. The sound of gum chewing and popping rang in her ears.
Her mind drew a blank.
When she’d arrived, she convinced herself that they found the wrong person—that Kane was wrong. It couldn’t have been Daniel, except they’d shown her the Rolex. Daniel wouldn’t go anywhere without his lucky stainless-steel diamond watch.
They told her an accidental fire. After a violent lover’s spat. The other charred body had been Daniel’s current fling.
She wished she could cry for him, but she found no tears. He didn’t deserve them. Nor had she shed any the day she walked out.
Shock and exhaustion held her together. They’d sat her down and asked her a few questions about her separation and relationship with Daniel before they’d brought her out to wait in the reception area.
Her husband was dead.
Guilt swarmed through her like a hot flash. Her husband’s life was taken away, and she really wanted to care, but she didn’t. Couldn’t. Her love had died so long ago—maybe she’d never really loved him. Maybe Daniel had been a stand-in for all the people who had walked away from her. She squelched the bubble of laughter that rose in her throat.
Was she unfeeling and cold-blooded?
She had only one person to blame: Kane.
If it weren’t for him, she wouldn’t have known what loving a man or needing a person with every breath in her body felt like. But he’d never loved her back. Cared for her only as much as he could, but that was it.
Her palms gripped her upper arms. She couldn’t believe he was back. And the one to tell her of Daniel’s demise.
Hysteria welled in her chest. Daniel had no other family. Just her. She’d hoped that he would need her as much as she had needed him, but he’d shown her what she meant to him: chattel in his climb to success as a plastic surgeon, the perfect wife, while he had lovers on the side. She rubbed her elbows to ward off the persistent chill.
Now she had no one.
“Lauren.”
She looked up. Kane held out a bottled water. She reluctantly took the offer. Her hand wrapped around the cool drink, but she didn’t open it. Her eyes shot back to the floor. A knot formed in the back of her throat. She tried to focus on the situation. Dead husband. No family. Once, she would have thrown herself at Kane and begged him to make everything better, but that was back then.
She wasn’t the lovesick fool anymore—the one who loved too much, gave too much. She couldn’t afford the consequences. Nor would she ever face another loved one leaving her—her father, her mother, and then Kane. With Daniel, she’d chosen to leave.
“Are you okay?”
Her gaze flickered over his brown Bostonians, up his perfectly pressed blue slacks, to the white shirt that hugged his broad shoulders like a second skin, emphasizing his strong arms. He had taken off his blazer, loosened his yellow-striped tie, and unbuttoned the first button of his dress shirt. Tanned bronze skin peeked out at the collar. She took her time, taking in the taut set of his jaw, the thin, firm lips, and the ocean-blue eyes, shining with concern.
Her body stiffened. She didn’t need his pity. “I’m fine.”
Kane ran a hand through his dark chocolate-brown hair. “I know this is hard on—”
She stood up. “I’m fine,” she reaffirmed. What did he know? Better yet, why would he care? “I’d like to go home now. I need to make funeral plans.”
He frowned. “I can take you home in a few minutes. I just need to finish up with some loose ends.”
“I can call a cab.”
His gaze hardened. “I’ll take you home.”
Her mouth opened to refuse, but she clamped it shut. There was no point in arguing with Kane when he used that stern tone. She’d heard it many times when she’d angered him over the littlest things, especially ones that pertained to her safety. Her heart tightened. She didn’t want him to care. She didn’t want anything from him.
Lauren sat back down.
“I’ll be back.”
She twisted the bottle cap and took a swig of her water. Nothing mattered. She just needed to get through the next few weeks and everything would be back to normal.
Except now, she didn’t have to count the days until her divorce.
Lauren stared out the passenger window of Kane’s luxury sedan. Trees of every height and kind flashed past her, but she barely noticed them. Every line of her body was aware of Kane’s presence instead. His musky cologne filled her senses, bringing back memories of the past. They used to spend all their time together when she wasn’t in school or working and he wasn’t out patrolling the streets. So long ago.
His existence still bothered her.
Tugging at the seat belt rubbing against her collarbone, she sighed. The day was over and she was once again returning to a cold, lonely house—her haven and the one place close to her mother. All she had left were memories.
“Are you hungry?”
She glanced at Kane across the car’s dark cabin. Moonlight filtered in through the sunroof, illuminating his silky hair. Her stomach rumbled. “No. It’s too late to eat.”
The clock on the dashboard read 8:53, almost twelve hours since she had breakfast. She could eat the sandwich she brought for lunch. The shop was closed by now, but she wanted to run a final check before she went home, anyway.
“I could swing by somewhere and pick up something.”
“No, thank you.” What did it matter if she ate or not? It was just like him to pretend to care—just like him to lead her on and walk away. She didn’t need his sympathy.
“You used to love to eat. You look skinnier.”
“Kane, I’m fine.” She watched his jaw tighten, and she bit her tongue from saying any more. She wasn’t his responsibility, nor would she ever be again. Dragging in a deep breath, she looked out the window. Streetlights flashed by like neon bands as Kane exited the highway.
“I’m really sorry about your husband.”
She squeezed her eyes shut. “I’m sorry, too.”
“Had you been married long?”
“Three and a half years. We separated last year.”
“Did you know the woman who died with him?”
“No. His affairs were none of my concern.” The dead woman was one of many. She prayed Kane wouldn’t ask any more about her marriage—her mistakes, her bad judgment, her stupidity for jumping into a relationship with the next guy she met after him. Leaning back against the headrest, she gripped her bag in her lap. Before she could stop herself, she blurted out, “I married six months after you left.”<
br />
She awaited a reaction.
“I see.”
An awkward silence filled the air.
What did she expect? For him to be pining for her after all these years? She shook her head at herself. The silly thoughts had to stop. Her first concern should be Daniel, but she met only numbness.
She swallowed the knot in her throat. Maybe she’d been partly at fault for the failure of her marriage. Her expectations hadn’t been high enough and she’d allowed Daniel to run free with whatever he wanted. She’d gone above and beyond to be the good wife, to run her business without anyone’s help, basically provided for her husband, even as far as giving up her inheritance to fulfill his dreams, while she slaved away for her own. She’d thought her marriage perfect until she’d found out about the other women. The usual anger didn’t erupt. She no longer cared. All she wanted was for all ties to be cut. And now they were.
She studied Kane’s profile in the dim moonlight. Once she’d imagined herself marrying him, having a future with him—everything she had hoped to find with Daniel after Kane had coldly left her. She couldn’t love a man who could walk out on her so easily, but then she didn’t know which was worse: one who walked out on her or one who cheated on her.
Maybe she was destined to be alone. Forever.
Lauren let out a deep breath. “Where’ve you been hiding these past four years?”
“I worked for the NYPD in the city.”
Her eyes widened. She knew how dangerous his job was, but Kane reveled in the excitement of catching crooks and solving cases. An older image of him floated in her mind. As a field officer, he was always handsome and proud in his uniform. He treated his career as a police officer with utmost importance. Nights of waiting for him to return reminded her of the fear and worry she’d experienced, but that had never stopped her from loving him or accepting him. Maybe it was a good thing he chose to leave. “How’s life as a detective?”
Kane grinned. “The same as when I used to be the small city police officer. Just more paperwork and dealing less with the public.”
Her thoughts veered to the one question she had wanted to ask him at his appearance in her store. “Why did you transfer back?”
He lost his smile. As if contemplating his answer, he drew in a deep breath, threw her a look, and redirected his gaze to the open road. “I had enough city life. I thought it was time to come home.”
“Does your mom know you’re here?” She watched as his jaw tightened and lips pressed into a firm line. Kane was a loner and would always be. His relationship with his family wasn’t spectacular. The few times she’d seen them interact, he’d held himself as far away as possible. And she’d believed she was the one who could change that. Until he turned on her, also.
“She knows.”
His mother hadn’t mentioned his return. Maybe she would have been better prepared if she’d known, but what did it matter? “Have you seen her?”
“I have.”
Lauren bit her lip. His short answers told her enough. His relationship with his family hadn’t changed, still stiff and awkward. She’d die to have her parents back, but the choice wasn’t hers. “How’s the rest of the family?”
“They’re good. Sara is getting married in a few weeks.”
His baby stepsister. He had three stepsiblings, none he was close to. “I know. Sara was at my shop for her dress fitting last week. Your mother is excited.”
He nodded once, but said nothing.
“What really made you come back? I thought you hated it here.”
Kane shrugged. “Grant is home, where I grew up.”
She wanted to argue. “Did something happen in the city?”
“No.”
“So, you just decided to move back because this is home? I thought you hated your mother pestering you, hated the life here?”
His chest rose and he let out a ragged breath. His voice turned soft. “Lauren, it was best that I left.”
Her fists clenched in her lap. The metal zipper of her bag dug into her palm. The day she’d shown up at his apartment and was informed by his landlord that Kane had moved, she’d died a sudden death—worse than finding out her mother was killed in a car accident. Her insides tightened at the memory. “I didn’t ask you why you left.”
She knew why he’d left. He was just like Daniel. Even though they’d been together for only two years, she’d been nothing more than a convenience to him, one who spent time with him when he called and one he ignored when he wanted to. The truth had hit her full force after she’d demanded his landlord open his empty apartment for her to see with her own eyes.
Each time she’d drawn close to him, he’d mentally pushed her away and turned everything into a joke or focused on her, diverting the attention from him and their relationship. She’d known he was against commitments, but she’d hoped he’d see she was the one for him.
Instead, he hadn’t returned her love.
“Lauren…”
“It’s fine. I understand everything.” She straightened in her seat and returned her gaze to the road, following the white dashes that separated the lanes.
“I don’t think you do.”
She wanted to ask him what he meant, but bit her tongue. It didn’t matter. The past was the past and she needed to let go. Her marriage was over. At the expense of her husband’s life.
Her heart clenched. Oh, God. Daniel. A pounding started in her head. There was so much to do. Funeral plans, his loose ends. She almost forgot about his practice. Making a mental to-do list, she tried hard to ignore Kane.
As the car pulled into the parking lot of her shop, she undid the seat belt before Kane drew to a stop. Her hand fluttered to the door handle as she waited for him to step on the brakes.
Before she could hop out, Kane laid a hand on her arm. She stiffened. A familiar tingle shot up her arm to her spine.
“Lauren, I’m really sorry about your husband.”
She swallowed the lump in her throat. “You said that already.”
“Look at me.”
The sternness in his voice forced her to slowly turn. Her gaze rose to his face. The dim lighting of the car’s interior didn’t hide the conflicting shadows in his eyes. Her stomach clenched. Squelching the urge to forgive him—for everything, anything—she pulled her arm away.
“Here, take this.” He held out a card. “Call me if you need me.”
She stared at his hand. Embossed in black print on white card stock was his contact information. She didn’t want anything of his. Nor would she ever call him or seek help from him. She’d rather call her neighbor, who annoyed the hell out of her whenever he chose to strut around his yard in his underwear.
She forced herself to take the card, and reluctance stiffened her hold. Her fingers brushed against his hand. Another electric current ran up her arm. Her eyes jerked to his.
He reached up and brushed a strand of hair out of her face, forefinger running along her temple to her cheek. Her breath caught. His gaze dropped to her lips, which parted involuntarily at his closeness.
“You haven’t changed any,” he said softly. “Still beautiful.”
She wanted to lean into his touch, feel his rough palm against her cheek. Her insides tightened with need. A rush of emotion burned her senses. The knot in her chest rose to her throat. She had to get out. Away from him. She threw the door open.
“Thanks for the ride.” Slamming the door shut with her elbow, she dug into her bag for her keys and then hurried to the shop. She tried to ignore the tingling sensation along her jaw. The area burned as if Kane had scorched her skin. Jamming the key into the keyhole, she stopped and glanced over her shoulder. Kane stood next to his car, watching her. His piercing stare made her gulp. Her body was betraying her. She couldn’t possibly still want him after all she’d been through. No way.
Then why did she want to turn around and rush into his arms? Feel him hold her, touch her, love her? Awareness warmed her at the memories they’d made in his o
ld apartment—wherever they were when they’d lost themselves in the moment—just the two of them.
Turning the key, she wrenched the door open and let herself in, relocking the door once more. She lifted the white panel and disarmed the security system before she moved behind the thin stretch of wall next to the display window. She watched as Kane continued to stare at the storefront, then he folded his tall form into his car. The sound of the door slamming reverberated through the windows. He gunned his engine and drove off.
She let out the breath she held and leaned against the mannequin platform. His card was still crumpled in her palm. Pressing the hand to her fast pounding heart, she closed her eyes.
Lauren, get a grip on yourself. It’s over. It’s been long over.
Kane wasn’t one to stick around, and even if she wanted him, the result would be the same: he’d leave her again.
An insistent buzzing drew her out of her thoughts. She frowned. No one should be calling her this late, unless one of her employees wanted to request time off or play hooky from work. Irritation rose in her chest as she searched inside her bag for her cell phone.
Just what she needed. More employee problems. She groaned, suddenly remembering that she’d forgotten to call Mack about his no-show today.
She drew the phone out and stared at the blocked ID. Pressing talk, she raised the phone to her ear. “Hello.”
“You’re next, bitch.”
Chapter Three
“Those reports aren’t going to get written that way. Your fingers have to move.”
Kane drew his gaze off the blank computer screen, hands frozen over the keyboard, and glared at his partner. “Mind your own business.”
Ryan chuckled. “What’s your deal?”
He fell back into his seat, legs sprawled out. Ryan sat at the opposite desk, facing him. He stifled the urge to reach across and wipe the smirk off his partner’s face, maybe bash Ryan’s blond head into the dark oak of the table. But then, he was right. His reports wouldn’t be done.
Kane crossed his arms over his chest. “Shouldn’t you be getting home to your girlfriend or something?”
