by Clarissa Yip
She stood her ground. She knew he wanted her. Every time he looked at her, she’d seen his eyes darken with desire. It didn’t take an idiot to see that he had an erection when she was around. But then their attraction for each other had always been explosive. “Even if Daniel hadn’t died and there wasn’t a killer after me, you knew we were bound to meet again. The town isn’t all that big.”
He dropped her hand and ran his fingers through his hair. “I came back to work, not to make an attempt at reconciliation with you or dig up the past.”
Okay, she had that coming. “Then what was last night?”
Kane swallowed hard; his Adam’s apple bobbed. “It was a mistake.”
Drawing in a deep breath, she took a step back. She shouldn’t have come here, shouldn’t have expected him to keep her safe. Out of all that had happened, Kane was more dangerous than everything else. “Maybe I should go to a safe house instead.”
“It’s too late. It’s better if you stay here.”
She stared at him, suspicion blooming in her mind. He was hiding something. The hard planes of his face told her nothing. “Spill it. What happened last night?”
Kane cleared his throat. “The murder victim was another woman.”
“Who was it?”
“Nina Marshall.”
The name didn’t ring a bell. “Same killer?”
“Yes.”
She waited for him to say more and tapped her foot.
“We found some evidence last night and…”
Her eyebrow lifted. “And what?”
“Your husband may be a suspect.”
Lauren fainted.
Chapter Twelve
You’re a coward.
The words sang like a mantra through his mind. Kane stared at his captain as the burly man spoke, but he heard nothing. After leaving Lauren in the care of one of the female officers he’d asked to come over, he’d driven in a haze to the precinct.
Watching Lauren’s face whiten, then eyes flutter close as gravity pulled her to the floor, had scared the shit out of him. He’d caught her before she’d hit the ground and carried her to the bed. Not long after, she’d awakened, then stared at him as if he wasn’t really there and turned away, giving him her back.
The distance had returned between them. Her face had closed up and she’d ignored him. Anything that he had said, he wasn’t even sure she’d heard. When the officer arrived, he’d left her with instructions to make sure Lauren ate and got some rest.
“Hollister!”
Kane’s head jerked up to see his captain glaring at him. “Yes, sir.”
“What is wrong with you? The state doesn’t pay you to stand around and daydream.”
“No, sir.”
The captain huffed, then turned his attention to Beckett and Mitchell. Ryan gave him a frown, and Kane just shrugged. Lauren had called him a coward. Was he one, truly?
He couldn’t allow himself to get involved with anyone. His past relationship with Lauren had proven that. He had nothing to give. If he couldn’t get a grip on his own life, then how was he expected to make room for others? His heart ached at the thought of his mother. He didn’t want to feel. It was better to keep himself separate from everyone else; then he wouldn’t hurt anyone, wouldn’t disappoint anyone.
Flickering a glance at his partner, he tried to make sense of his actions. He and Ryan were close, like brothers in a sense, but they both had their own reservations around each other even though they trusted each other with their very lives. Ryan never questioned his past, and neither did Kane his. They just learned to accept each other for what they saw, but never invaded their private space.
Kane ran a hand over his face. The precinct’s caffeine sludge kept the exhaustion at bay, but he wanted nothing more than to return to his house and crawl into bed with Lauren, to make sure that she was okay and never allow her to turn her back to him again. He didn’t like that. It had been like a knife to his chest. But it’d been his fault.
He was more than physically tired. All the years of pushing everyone away was emotionally draining. How much longer could he go on? How much longer could he keep up the facade of a loner when all he wanted was to return home to find someone waiting for him, to share his life and future with?
If he hadn’t watched his sister get beaten to death, maybe he wouldn’t have the guilt that hung over him every day, reminding him how weak he was.
“What are your thoughts, Hollister?”
Kane quickly looked at Ryan, berating himself for allowing his mind to drift when he should be focusing on the case. His partner spoke. “It’s not possible for a dead man to be running around killing all these women, sir. The neighbor claimed she saw Burke leave the house in a black jacket and black cap. But then why would Burke want his wife dead? He had willed all his possessions to Lauren even though by rightful law, they would be hers, anyway. In regard to the victims, why would Burke go around destroying his own work?”
Their captain nodded, scratching his chin.
Kane straightened from his perch against the desk. “We had the dental records that proved Burke was burned to death in that fire. There’s no way Burke could have come back from the dead and besides, from what we’ve gathered, he doesn’t seem the type to have the balls to kill. He has nothing to gain. His reputation with the firm has made their business one of the most sought-after plastic surgeon firms in the region.”
“What about his partner?”
The guys all looked at one another.
“It’s possible,” Ryan said. “But hard to pinpoint since none of the evidence we found adds up to Peters. And his alibi checks out. That gives us nothing.”
Their captain growled. “Well, work on it. All of you. I want this guy nailed now!”
Kane watched as their captain stalked off, then slammed the door to his office. He sighed, the pulsing in his head intensified by the loud bang that still rocked the windows. Beckett, Mitchell, and Ryan all gathered around him.
“So where do we go from here?” Beckett asked.
Kane turned and stared at the case board, covered with pictures of suspects, victims, and notes from what they’d collected so far. Nothing. “We start from square one. We’ll look into the victims and then reinvestigate Burke’s death.”
Ryan groaned. “Fine. We’ll split up. You two take your two victims back and Kane and I will check up with the coroner about Burke and the latest victim.”
“Let’s also look at the jewelry stores again and see if there were any large shipments of pearls sold.”
Beckett and Mitchell nodded and walked off.
Ryan pivoted around and crossed his arms. “How’s your Ms. Burke doing?”
Your Ms. Burke. He hated that name. If he hadn’t left, then Lauren may not have married the guy, and he would not have returned to find the shell of a woman he’d loved… He inwardly cursed, shaking the thought off. What did he know about love? He’d failed with Lily, failed with his mother, and now failed with Lauren. “She’s fine.” I hope.
“Did you tell her what’s going on?” Ryan asked.
Kane closed his eyes. “Somewhat.”
“And?”
“And nothing. We need to get this case solved, so let’s get back to work.” Kane grabbed the file off the desk and started toward the exit of their office.
Ryan followed from behind. “I hope you’re ready for your sister’s wedding next week. I got my suit picked out already.”
Kane scoffed. He didn’t want to think about his mother or the awkward argument they had at Lauren’s store. “Yeah, if we make it there.” He threw his partner a sideways glance as they stopped at the elevators. “What are you? A girl? Why the hell do you need to pick out your suit in advance?”
Ryan grinned. “Oh, we’ll both be there. I heard Ms. Burke tell your mom so.”
His mother must have talked to Ryan. Very recently. “Whatever. You can think all you want, but until we catch this murderer, I doubt we’re both going anywhere
.”
“Maybe if we’re lucky, Burke is really dead and someone is trying to frame him for the murders.”
The elevator door opened and they both stepped in.
Kane jabbed the down button. “Hopefully.”
Or maybe Lauren’s husband was still alive. Which meant she was still married.
…
Lauren stared at Rachael Ray on the big screen. Her upbeat demeanor and raspy voice irritated her, but Lauren sat calmly on the couch next to Officer Wendall, who had stayed with her all morning and afternoon after Kane left. She was going crazy.
Her mind ran in so many different directions, she didn’t know what she was thinking. But Daniel a suspect? Impossible. That would mean he’d be alive. And she’d still be married. No, she wasn’t having it.
If he rose from the grave, she’d…kill him herself.
The thought had merit, but who was she kidding? She could barely harm a fly. All she wanted was to be left alone, and she’d been doing a darn good job of it until Kane returned. Damn him. Finally getting a hold of her life once again, hoping Daniel would just sign the divorce papers, then she could have gone on her merry way. To be by herself.
She scoffed aloud. And she couldn’t believe she’d fainted. Fainted! It’d only been one thing after another since Kane showed up. How much more did she have to endure?
Officer Wendall gave her a curious glance. Lauren just smiled. The sound of keys jangling had the officer on alert as she shot off the couch and slowly approached the front door.
The wooden panel crept open and Kane appeared with two paper bags in his arms. Lauren returned her attention to the television. Anger along with numbness wrapped around her. She ignored him when he stood next to the arm of the couch.
“Are you feeling better?”
“Yes.”
She nodded and stared past him at the TV again. A Swiffer commercial came on. A man dressed as dirt waited for the yellow Swiffer to catch him. Kane asked if she’d eaten as he stalked to the kitchen. She didn’t even bother to say anything since Officer Wendall answered for her, then took her leave.
The sound of Kane slamming the bags on the counter told her he was annoyed. Good for him. She wasn’t a happy camper, either. She stood up only to see him glaring, his hands perched on the breakfast bar. If he could pretend that they’d made a mistake, then so could she. “I need to go to work.”
His eyes narrowed. “You can’t go anywhere.”
Lauren drew in a patient breath. “I’m not going to stay there. I just need to tell them why I’m taking time off and to pick up some paperwork. I can’t sit around doing nothing while I wait for the killer to find me.”
“He’s not going to find you,” he said harshly.
“I just need to go in for a bit. You can go with me.” No way she’d sit around and watch mindless TV all day. It’d drive her nuts. And more than anything, she needed to keep busy. Instead of pondering the possibility that her husband may have risen from the dead.
Kane frowned. “Just to pick up stuff?”
She nodded.
He shoved a hand through his hair. “Fine. I don’t think it’s safe for you to tell anyone where you are or why you’re taking time off.”
Irritation surged to her throat. She wasn’t stupid. “Don’t worry. I can play a mourning widow. My husband just died, remember?”
She waited for him to confirm, but a look of hesitation crossed his features. She swallowed hard.
Kane grabbed his keys off the counter and strode to the door. “Let’s go.”
…
Kane gripped the steering wheel. His knuckles turned white. He drove carefully through traffic. Lauren sat beside him staring out the window, more distant than if there were literally a brick wall between them. He hated it.
The ice queen was back.
“Did you get any sleep?” he asked. He’d been making mundane conversation for the past fifteen minutes, and she’d never answered with more than one word.
“Enough.” She continued to stare out the window.
He shoved away the anger threatening to break free and the urge to yell at her. It was bad enough that he was back in her life again, even though the circumstances were not what he’d envisioned. “I bought stuff to make dinner tonight. I hope you still like pasta.”
“Sure.”
He growled. “Dammit, Lauren, what do you want from me?”
She turned to look at him, the same empty expression he’d first seen when he arrived at her store to announce Burke’s death.
“Nothing.” She returned her gaze to the window.
Kane shoved a hand through his hair. “You know there can’t be anything between us anymore.”
“Okay.”
“Look, I’m sorry.” He meant it…sort of. Maybe not what had actually happened, because he had wanted it for her. He didn’t know which was worse: the desperate woman with pleading eyes or this cold shell of the Lauren he’d known.
“Don’t be.”
Wow, two words. Maybe he was making progress. “Once the case is solved, I’m sure you’ll be glad to go on with your life.”
“Sure.”
He bit his inner cheek and let out a defeated sigh. “Don’t be like this, Lauren,” he said softly. He reached for her hand in her lap. She jerked her head to face him and started to pull away, but he tightened his hold and laced his fingers through hers. The touch sent a jolt up his arm. Her petite hand reminded him how fragile and small she was. She needed him at the moment, and he’d do anything to keep her safe.
“I’m fine, Kane. I just want this to be over. And then I’ll get the hell out of your house.”
His heart clenched. Returning to his home twice today, he’d been relieved and excited to see her there. She would fit perfectly with his lifestyle since she needed someone to take care of her, and he needed to be the one to protect her. Lauren was the type who’d lose herself in her work and forget to eat. And he loved feeding her. Just like how his mother cooked to show everyone her love. But what right did he have?
“Why did you leave your husband?” he asked. He’d gone over the reports from the medical examiner. Burke had died from head trauma before being burned to a crisp, but he had his doubts. He needed a reason to dig up the body.
Lauren sighed. “I told you at the station when you and your partner brought me in for questioning. He cheated on me. Had various affairs. I found out and left him.”
“Yeah, but you waited a long time to do that. He was cheating on you not long after you two married.”
She stiffened and jerked her hand out of his grip. “I just had enough. That’s all.”
He noted her tightly pursed lips and her fingers curling into her bag on her lap. A quiet rage burned through him. The bastard never deserved her. He could almost feel her pain. “What did you see in him? You told me you only dated him for six months before you got married. How was it that he could sweep you off your feet when you claim you love…?” His voice trailed off.
“Loved you?”
He swallowed at the past tense of the phrase. “Yeah.”
“Daniel was there for me. He wanted a future together, and I thought we needed each other.” She turned to study him. “Why did you really leave?”
He shifted in his seat. Flashes of the past ran through his mind. Memories of Lily, awkward and painful conversations with his mother, the phone call that told him his father was dead—he had to leave. If Lauren had found out what a real coward he was, what were the chances that she’d continue to see him as her hero?
“It was time to go. I needed change.”
“You needed change so much that you came back here?”
The knot expanded in the back of his throat. He let out a soft cough. “I wanted to come back.”
“For what? You have nothing here. You don’t care for your family who loves you. Your job takes you wherever you want to go. So why here?”
He thought of Lily’s gravestone. So cold and covered with blow
n leaves the last time he’d gone to visit. “I missed it here.”
Lauren scoffed. He pressed his tongue against his cheek. “I find that hard to believe. You’re a loner. There’s nothing in this town for you. You avoid your mother every time she reaches out to you.”
“You don’t understand,” he gritted through his teeth.
“Because you don’t want me to. You don’t want anyone to. Aren’t you tired? Having to avoid your mother every time she wants to love you? Or your family trying to include you in with them?”
He didn’t reply, just gripped the steering wheel tighter.
“You’re so lucky and you don’t know it. I have no one. Both my parents are gone. It’s only me.”
He heard a sniff, but didn’t bother to look at her. He couldn’t. “My mom is happy. She has her own family. My stepbrothers, Sara, and Bill are her life now. It doesn’t include me.” Or Lily.
“But it could. If you’d let it. What are you scared of?”
His throat constricted. How could he tell her the truth? “It’s hard to explain. Growing up with them, I didn’t fit in.”
“Because you wouldn’t let yourself fit in. You keep to yourself at all times.”
I have to… It wouldn’t be fair to his sister. He’d robbed her of living. He was the one who should have been dead. Flashes of anger blurred his vision. He’d been home alone with Lily, while his mother and stepfather were on the way home with Nick, their new son. The doorbell rang. Without checking, Kane had opened the door. His father stood at the threshold, holding an almost-empty liquor bottle. The first punch sent him reeling against the foyer table. The second almost knocked him out, until he’d seen his baby sister fly at their father’s form, grabbing his arms and screaming for him to stop.
The bastard had turned his attention to Lily.
Shaken, scared, Kane had watched their father beat Lily to death. And he’d done nothing to stop him. Just sat there like an invalid. Until he’d seen the old man wrap his fingers around Lily’s neck. Kane had surged to his feet and thrown himself at the monster. But it was too late.
Lily’s eyes had drifted closed. Forever.
