by Bush, Holly
“And just about anyone willing would do,” Julia added.
Gloria laughed. “There were lots willing. Trust me. Plenty of women were interested in Jake, but they grew tired of waiting and most married. ‘Cept Clara. Cripes, Flossie, wait till Clara hears about this.”
“Jake wasn’t interested in Clara even when Jake decided to marry,” Flossie said.
“Who’s Clara?” Julia asked.
“Clara Fawcett. Her father owns the bank in town. She wears clothes ordered from back east. Her hair’s always just so. She never leaves her house without gloves.” Gloria flitted both hands. “Jake knew right off she wasn’t the kind of woman to help run a farm. Too fancy and fussy.”
Clara sounded like everything Julia was accustomed to. “And she wanted to marry Jake?”
“Clara just wasn’t suited for him. She was the only one that couldn’t see it,” Flossie said.
Julia stared at her hands and lifted her head slowly to look at her new family. “So what you’re saying is Jake decided one day to marry, anyone, even someone he never met and a respectable woman from his own town would have married him, and he didn’t want her because she wasn’t meant for life on a farm. And she’s someone just like me.”
Gloria covered her hand with her mouth. “You’re right.”
“Gloria,” Flossie said sharply. “We don’t know anything about Julia. How could we think she’s the same as Clara?”
“Well, look at her clothes and hat and such, Flossie. Jake’s going to have a fit when he realizes,” Gloria said.
“Does everything that comes into your head have to come flying out of your mouth?” Flossie asked.
“From the sounds of it I’m exactly what your brother did not want in a wife,” Julia said.
Flossie stood and faced the women still seated on the bed. “Now you two listen to me. I didn’t agree with Jake’s plan. Marrying isn’t like picking a prize sow. But what’s done is done. Julia, if you’re going to stick this out, you better make the best of it. Gloria and I will help. Is this what you want, Julia?”
Julia knew the woman was right. If she had any intention of beginning a new life, then she’d best do all she could. She didn’t know where to start but Jake’s sister’s said they’d help. “I don’t want a divorce. What’s done is done. I’ll make the best of the circumstances.”
“Are you sure?” Gloria asked. “You sure you don’t want to go home?”
“No. I don’t want to go home,” Julia said.
“Was it so bad there?” Flossie asked. “Some folks will gladly take the devil they know rather than the devil they don’t.”
“I’m twenty-seven. I’m the fat, unattractive spinster in a family of beautiful women. I’ve made some bad decisions and been an embarrassment to them all of my life. My plan to marry Mr. Snelling was an opportunity for me to do something on my own. I don’t want to go back. I won’t go back, especially with my head bowed in shame,” Julia said.
The confession said aloud was liberating for Julia. She had no idea why she was inclined to share these long silent burdens with strangers, but it felt good. She had been honest with herself and Jake’s sisters. She didn’t want to go home. They were staring at her intensely. She wondered if the women realized Julia would be taking a slice of their and their children’s birthright with her adamant declaration.
“I’m not sure why you’re willing to help me. My marriage will take your inheritance from your brother’s farm away from you and your family, but if you’re willing regardless, I’ll be happy to accept the help.”
“You said a mouthful there, and I’m pretty sure you don’t usually share your feelings,” Flossie said. “I can speak for Gloria though when I tell you we don’t give a damn about an inheritance. We got our share when we married, and Jake’s got the right to pass his share on to his wife or children or whoever he wants.”
“Why would we want part of Jake’s farm? We have our own,” Gloria added.
“Women have no way of gaining wealth unless it’s passed on. You can hardly say you don’t care you’ll be losing what could be a portion of a profitable property as well as the home you were raised in.”
Julia learned that lesson well from her sister. When her grandfather died, the only thing of interest to her was the broken gold timepiece he always carried with him, and that had fascinated her as a child. Jolene and her mother had the estate manager sell the grandparents’ gifts to the Crawford girls to increase the size of their dowry. Julia had been crushed.
Flossie sat down beside her. “What kind of family did you come from?”
Julia looked from Flossie to Gloria. “What do you mean? I guess a normal family. Not that I always agreed with them. But I know about losing a birthright. I’ll likely never see the inheritance I would have meant to receive once my family finds out I’ve taken a train to South Dakota and married.”
Gloria’s eyes widened. “Your folks don’t know you came out here to marry Mr. Snelling?”
Julia could have bit her tongue off. But the truth was out now. “Our maid, my friend, Eustace will give everyone a letter day after tomorrow. They think I went to visit an elderly aunt.”
“This is just like one of my books,” Gloria said. “The frightened girl sneaks out of the castle in the middle of the night. Jake can be your knight in shining armor.”
“Be quiet, Gloria.” Flossie turned to Julia. “So when your parents find out, they’ll be angry?”
“Angry and embarrassed but this is no less than they expect from me,” Julia said. She looked at her new sisters-in-law as the family she’d always hoped to have. “My father will surely send someone here to get me. Or maybe even come himself. Will Jake let them take me?”
“You’re his wife, Julia. What’s Jake’s stays Jake’s. If you don’t want to go back, he’ll not let your family bother you,” Flossie said.
Julia dropped her head. “My father can be very persuasive when he sets his mind to it.”
“There’ll be no persuading, Julia. If you want to stay, Jake can’t be bought if that’s what you’re implying. He’s the most honorable, honest man I know,” Flossie said.
“That’s twice today I’ve heard that about him.”
“It’s true.” Gloria added with a smile. “Jake can’t abide lies. And you’re his wife now, he’ll guard you like family. You are family. Like me and Flossie and the kids.”
Julia smiled back at her sister-in-law. What a comforting thought to part of a family. She had allies. Julia decided then and there she wanted to be part of the Shelling family nearly more than anything she ever wanted. And she was going to do what was necessary to make them proud. “I imagine the gentlemen are wondering where we’re at. We’ve been up here a long time.”
Gloria stood slowly. “No. Harry and Will will say, ‘So that’s your new bride.’ Jake will say ‘yep’, and they’ll take the kids out to the barn or look at some fencing.”
Julia laughed. So did Flossie.
“You’re right about that. But we still have lots to do. We have to get Julia here unpacked and think about supper and getting her started tomorrow,” Flossie said as she stood.
Julia looked up at them and smiled with less anxiety and more hope than she’d felt in a long while. “Thank you.”
* * *
Gloria threw together biscuits and Flossie found a piece of ham hanging in the smoke house. Julia watched as the two women made a thick white gravy with the ham drippings. She burnt herself twice on the stove and resigned herself to setting the table. Gloria promised to bring by her recipe box the next week for Julia to copy. Flossie said she’d help her clean the kitchen and unpack. The Shelling family crowded around the table, and Jake said grace. The women’s work was devoured in moments. But the family laughed and talked about everyday things until someone mentioned Julia. The table’s occupants quieted, and some nodded politely at her, as if unsure of what to make of Jake’s new wife. Well, she didn’t blame them; she didn’t know what to make of
herself.
Her new husband was clearly the head of the Shelling family. Will and Harry deferred to him and asked his advice. His niece and nephew hung on every word out of his mouth and his sisters visibly adored him. And he them. There were only warm looks and words between them all. Julia felt like an outsider knowing little of what they discussed, but she saw a better chance of belonging than at any time in her life. The teasing hope of happiness was present, and Julia was determined to be part of it.
She stood beside Jake on the porch and waved goodbye to his sisters and their husbands. Flossie, Gloria and his niece and nephew had kissed him goodbye and told him they loved him. He kissed them back and returned the sentiment. Millie waved goodbye from the back of the wagon long after Julia could see her face. She looked up at her husband.
“Your family is all very kind. They made me feel welcome.”
Chapter Six
“Knew they would,” Jake said. He looked down at the beautiful blonde that was now his bride. “They like you already.”
Julia folded her hands at her waist. “I’m glad. I like them.”
The unasked and unanswered question was whether or not Julia liked him as well. Will and Harry had twisted and squirmed in their skin for want of asking questions. He knew what they were thinking. He had ordered a workhorse and got a hothouse flower.
Like a daffodil in April, Julia was fresh and delicate. But clueless as to farm life, even he could see that. All done up in layers of yellow, nearly matching the blonde of her hair. Her eyes were as clear blue as the sky on a summer morning. His new bride was like a bouquet of colors in contrast to his dark hair and the tan skin of his face and hands.
“I ‘spect you’re tired. I’ll heat water so you can wash up.”
“Would you mind if we sat and talked?” she asked.
“No. I imagine we’ve got some things to work out,” Jake replied as he opened the screen door to let her pass.
“Work out?” she repeated.
Jake pulled a bottle of whiskey from under the sink and poured himself two fingers full in a small glass before sitting down across from Julia.
“Yeah, work out. What we do here on the farm. What’s expected of you. What you can expect of me.” His bride’s hands were shaking, and she was eyeing his glass of sour mash. “Would you like some?” Jake asked as he lifted his glass.
“Yes, please.”
Jake handed her a glass of whiskey. “I’m usually up by four or four-thirty. Not much to be done in the fields till harvest, but me and the boys work getting the barns and silos ready. Mend fences, that sort of thing.”
“I was hoping to talk about something of a more personal nature,” Julia said.
Jake hoped this wasn’t going to be a list of things he was supposed to do like wearing a tie to church and dabbing a napkin on his mouth when he got egg yolk on his chin.
“Like what?” he asked.
“I was wondering why Flossie and Gloria didn’t put my things in your bedroom.”
Of all the things Julia could have said, Jake expected this question the least. He had conceded to Flossie’s wishes and agreed to get to know his new bride before bedding her.
“I thought maybe we could take some time getting to know each other.”
“Are you,” she said and stopped to clear her throat, “are you saying you think we should wait?”
Julia was looking at the wall just past his left shoulder. “You’re a beautiful woman, Julia. I’ve already told you that. But considering how things began,” he trailed off.
She looked him in the eye. “I think we should consummate the marriage.”
Jake stared at his glass and swirled the amber liquor. “I’ll admit, I wouldn’t mind, but I was figuring . . .”
“My family doesn’t know I came here to marry. They think I’m visiting my Aunt Mildred. I’m not a virgin.”
Jake leaned his forearms on the table, hands clasped. He knew something was behind a woman this beautiful leaving her rich Boston family for the prairie and Jacob Snelling. He wanted to know now rather than later exactly the kind of woman he’d married. Maybe it was too late to forestall a visit from a lawman out of Boston.
“S’pose you could elaborate, Julia. On both things if you don’t mind.”
“What do you want to hear about first?” she asked.
“Either,” Jake said.
“My family thinks I left four days ago from Boston to visit my Aunt Mildred. My father’s mother’s sister. I left letters for my family. Eustace, our maid, is going to hand them out next Friday and then, well, then they will know I didn’t go to Delaware.”
“And in those letters you tell your family you came to South Dakota to marry Jacob Snelling.”
“Yes.”
“What’s going to happen when your family finds out you’re not in Delaware?” Jake asked.
She stared at her hands folded around her glass of whiskey. “My mother and father will be very unhappy.” She looked at Jake. “I imagine my father will send someone immediately to take me back to Boston.”
Jake linked his hands behind his head and tilted his chair back. There was some deceit going on here, of that Jake was sure. “So if we go to bed now, I won’t let him take you.”
“Something like that,” she said.
This woman had as many layers as an onion, and if he wasn’t careful, he’d end up with tears in his eyes. He’d didn’t give a rat’s ass about her family sending someone after her. She was his wife, now, for better or for worse. And after a long time without a woman, he wasn’t inclined to turn down her offer regardless of what her reasoning was. In either case, they were married. He’d made his bed by dragging the minister to the train station that morning.
“And the other?”
Her lips were quivering. “Well, I imagined you’d figure the second thing out if we went ahead with the first and I didn’t want to be dishonest.”
“What did you tell Snelling?” he asked.
She dropped her head. “That I was a widow.”
Jake poured himself another glassful of whiskey and refilled Julia’s. “You lied to him. Why not tell me the same story?” he said.
“He was different.”
Jake harrumphed. “I imagine he’s got the same thing as every other man.”
“I imagine he does. But that marriage was about companionship and company for his mother. I just didn’t think he’d ever know,” she whispered.
“And I would?” he asked.
“After I thought about things, meeting your family and everything, I decided I wanted to try, really try to be happy and make a husband happy. I don’t imagine that would go so well if I lied. It would always be between us. I know you weren’t looking for a grand love affair, but you’re close to my age. We’ll be together for many years,” Julia said.
“And since Jacob’s near sixty, you were hoping he’d kick off before your conscience got hold of you,” Jake said.
“That’s not a very nice way to put it, but I suppose it’s accurate.”
“Who was he?” Jake asked.
“Pardon?” Julia said, eyes wide. She lowered her head. “It was a long, long time ago. You wouldn’t know him.”
“I realize that, Julia. But you’re my wife. I have a right to know.”
“Do I have a right to know every woman you’ve ever been with?” she said and raised her chin.
“If you want to know, I’ll tell you. The list is short. Most of whom were paid for. Do you want me to name names?” Jake replied. She sat silently for so long; Jake was convinced she wasn’t going to reply.
“Turner Crenshaw,” she said finally.
Jake was confused. He could have sworn Julia mentioned that name when she was talking about her family. “Didn’t you say . . .”
“Yes. He’s my sister’s husband. It happened before Jolene and he married. I was seventeen.”
This confession had cost his new bride. She was staring out the kitchen door, apparently not willing to
meet his eyes. Her profile was a picture of misery and guilt. Her pain and the shimmer of tears on her lashes, was wending its way into Jake’s middle. It was alive, thriving and tearing this woman apart.
“Do you still love him?”
She turned to him. Her lip was quivering. “Why would a woman love a man who doesn’t want her? Why would any woman put herself through that kind of misery year after year? How does she get through the sister’s wedding? Why would she still love him, seeing him day in and day out, worshipping the ground beneath the feet of another woman?”
She wasn’t talking about some poor faceless pathetic stranger. She was talking about herself and her hurt was raw and pulsing and still fresh.
“I don’t know, Julia. How did you do it all?” Jake asked.
“I put it all aside. I put it all aside for my family’s sake. So there would be no shame, no whisper of a scandal,” Julia said, her voice raised and quivering. “He took one look at Jolene and walked away from as if he’d never met me. Never touched me,” she whispered. “She was the oldest, my mother said. Said Jolene deserved him and that she’d had his attention first anyway. She went to him a virgin on her wedding night. Something I could never do.”
Jake stood and went to Julia. He pulled her up from her chair and put his hands on her shoulders. “Your mother shouldn’t have said that. She should have never have said any of that.”
She looked up at him. “Why? It’s all true.”
“Bullshit, Julia. Your father should have hog-tied him and dragged him to the altar. You were a young girl. You made a mistake. He took advantage. They shouldn’t have wanted a piece of crap like Turner Crenshaw to marry any of their daughters. Let alone make you stand up for your sister,” Jake said.
He was mad as hell. He could have never been so cruel to his sisters, and he wondered what kind of parent could be. Julia was shaking all over.
“So you see I can never go back. I can’t take it. I don’t love him anymore, haven’t for a long while, but seeing him everyday, with his son, with Jolene. They won’t let me forget.”
