by Drew Sera
“Maybe we can get downstairs before Matt and Gina to make breakfast,” Colin suggested. I agreed and hurried to get ready because I knew Gina was going to cook dinner later on.
We made it to the kitchen, and Colin and Sydney moved about the kitchen in sync with one another. I set the table and made coffee. It was best for me to stay away from real food preparation.
Matt and Gina came down in jeans and sweaters. Matt’s was one of those fair aisle prints and Gina’s had a snowman on it. Completely cheesy, but fun. Everyone was so eager to get to the presents that we rushed through breakfast. We still made sure the girls ate enough though. They were everything to us.
We finally all sat down on the couches by the tree to begin what looked like our largest gift giving Christmas. We smothered the girls first with a lots of gifts of clothes, shoes, and other similar necessities. To Sydney they were necessities as we began helping her build a wardrobe.
As we refilled coffee mugs and ate more sweets, Matt handed Sydney a box. “If you guys don’t mind, Gina and I wanted Syd to open this. We’ve been so excited about it.” I frowned when I realized that I didn’t even remember Matt telling Colin and I that he got something for her. Sydney smiled and tore open the package as she knelt between mine and Colin’s legs. I stroked her hair while she worked through the paper.
“Hey, cool!” Sydney exclaimed as she pulled out a red 49ers football jersey that would fit her.
Colin and I were equally as excited. We all had one and Gina had one that was made for women that had Matt’s last name on the back. Sydney’s was the same cut as Gina’s and had the number “3” on it.
“Turn it around, Syd.” Matt told her.
When she flipped it around, I felt my chest tighten. The back said “Everett-Graves.” I looked up at Matt and smiled at him. It was perfect for her. This was something that all of us would share over the years. Each Sunday during football season, we always watched the 49ers game at Colin’s. Sydney was a part of that and bore my name on the back of her jersey. Colin was talking away with Matt about the jersey but I wasn’t paying much attention to them.
“Put it on, sunshine. I want to see it.” I helped her pull it on over her long sleeve tee shirt. She looked so fucking cute in it. I spun her around so I could trace the lettering of my name on her. I loved this gift.
Matt stood up again and picked up two more gifts from under the tree and handed Colin and I each one. I had the paper off before Colin even had it in both hands. I opened a box that had a gray fleece blanket with navy stitching and in the same blue thread it had my initials and said “Sunshine.”
I had a throw. After all the years of watching Colin train subs with their Doms and seeing him pass out the gift of a throw to a Dom, I finally had one of my own. Colin had given Matt and Gina one when he worked with them. Now I had one. I never thought I’d ever have one for the purpose of a sub of mine. Of course, until recently I never thought I’d be with someone. I couldn’t help but smile about the fact that I had a throw. I know it seemed silly, but this was a big deal to me. I just stared at the stitching and ran my fingers over it. “ADG’s Sunshine,” stared back at me. I could picture wrapping her up in it on the couch or upstairs before bed during our evening talks.
“Hey, check it out! Look Anth!”
Colin held his blanket up. It was navy with gray stitching and had his initials and said “Baby” on it. These were awesome, meaningful gifts. Colin checked mine out while I thanked Matt. I have to hand it to Matt, he came up with some incredible gifts.
Sydney went over to the tree and pulled out a silver box with a huge purple bow. She held it in her hands as though it were gold and the most precious thing in the world. She stood in front of me and set it on my lap. She looked tense though, which concerned me because I didn’t know if it was her stomach. I looked at Colin and figured it was for both of us so I was going to see if he wanted to help open it. Sydney put her hand on the box and swallowed hard.
“No, Sir. This one is just for you. I hope you like it.” She knelt down in front of me and I felt everyone’s gaze on me. All movement in the room seemed to have stopped, and I noticed everyone was paying attention to my gift. I nudged Colin and asked him if he knew what it was.
“No idea, Anth. I hope it’s a reindeer sweater. Matt’s mom would love to see you in a reindeer sweater. Open it.”
I tore off the paper and took the lid off the box and looked inside and blinked a few times. Rope. My heart stopped. My eyes flew up to Sydney’s. Now I understood why she held this box so careful in her hands. She was handing me so fucking much. First she bid on my rope night, now she was giving me rope. Purple rope.
All I could do was stare at her. How could a girl who had been so broken and as battered Sydney was, somehow find the strength and courage to trust another man to touch her, let alone bind her with rope? I was amazed and all air had left my lungs, and I couldn’t find my voice. The enormity of what she had just given me wasn’t lost on me. My eyes started to burn and a lump formed in my throat.
“Sydney…” It was all I could get out. She had tears running down her sweet face streaming around her beautiful smile. I set the box carefully on the coffee table and picked her up. I needed to be with her away from everyone for a few minutes. I carried her over to the stairs and sat down with her in my arms. She trembled in my arms, but I worked on soothing her. I held her close and stroked her arm.
“Shh, sunshine. I have you. Thank you, Sydney. I know that it means so much, and I promise you that I will treat your gift with respect, and you won’t be sorry that you gave it to me.”
“So, you like it?” She giggled and leaned her head on my shoulder.
“Very much so. I’m so proud of you.”
A million things were running through my head now. Even more than the night that she bid on a rope scene with me. I felt dizzy and warm, but she felt so right in my arms. I ran my fingers over her necklace. I loved her so much and couldn’t wait to share my rope fetish with her.
Back in the great room I saw Colin stand and look in the box. I think he was worried about what the hell was going on. I was quiet and she was crying over whatever was in the box.
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Colin said as he came over and stood near us by the stairs. He stroked her hair and looked at me. He knew that I was elated. “Sydney, you gave him rope!” He looked up at me and could see that I was beyond happy. He bent and kissed her. “You have no idea how happy you made him with that gift.”
She smiled and told him that she’s been so excited over the gift that she could hardly contain herself. The three of us moved back over to the great room and Matt gave me a pat on the shoulder as I walked by. I sat on on the couch and put Sydney between Colin and I. I pulled out the purple rope and smiled at it. I knew that it would take a lot of attempts with Sydney and the rope. I knew there’d be progress and regress, but that it was all going to be worth it.
“Hey, where did you get the rope little miss?” I poked her nose with my finger.
“I’m the guilty party in that department.” Matt spoke up, “Sydney told Gina what she wanted to do for you for Christmas and asked me if we’d help get her some rope.”
I nodded. I was so pleased that Sydney had a good friend with Gina and was even happier to know that Matt would help us watch over Sydney even when we weren’t immediately around.
“Guess this is a good time to give you this.” Matt tossed me a small box. Inside was a pair of scissors that would cut through rope. “Check out the blade.”
I turned it sideways and it was engraved with “My Sunshine’s Release”. This was great - incredible actually. I had this wonderful girl who trusted me to do something that would possibly be an emotional trigger and a best friend who knew and understood this. Matt’s gift of the scissors would help Sydney adjust and feel more comfortable. She’d know that the scissors were near, and that she’d be out of the rope quickly if need be.
“Matt, these are great. Thank
s, man.”
I put the scissors in the box with the purple rope.
“I guess what she got you turned out to be better than a reindeer sweater, huh?” Colin teased.
We joked about how Matt’s mom would have a stroke if she only knew about half of the things Colin and I did with Sydney. As we were all laughing, Sydney handed Colin a green and gold wrapped present.
He kissed her forehead and began unwrapping it. He peeked inside and I could tell from the way his body stopped moving and the expression on his face that there was something special in his box too.
“Oh, Sydney. Baby…” He pulled her into a hug and kissed her head whispering his “I love yous” to her.
I gave him a few minutes before asking what he got. Colin rubbed at his eyes. Was he fucking crying? If he was, I’d understand. I swore I saw blurry for a few minutes on the stairs with her but pulled it together. Colin pulled out a purple eye mask and a purple silk scarf. The scarf could also be used as a blindfold. She was giving him the power to take sight away. Fuck. Sydney’s gifts to us were amazing. They both were a huge step for her, and I knew that Colin and I would cherish and protect those gifts.
Matt and Gina shared a few gifts, and then Sydney said she had one more gift for Colin and I. He and I ripped the paper off and pulled out a book that was black with silver lettering that read “Ours” on the cover. The spine of the book said my name and Colin’s. We flipped open the book and on the inside cover was a handwritten note in silver ink that said:
Master Colin and Master Anthony, you found me when I was lost.
Love and forever yours,
Sydney
We turned the next page and found Sydney drowning in Colin’s football jersey. Her back was to the camera on a grassy hill, and you could see the bottoms of her bare feet as she knelt in the grass. It was fucking sexy.
The next page made my stomach and chest clench. It was a black and white photo of Sydney, naked, though you couldn’t see any breasts or her pussy, she was obviously naked. Loosely draped around her body was purple rope. You couldn’t see her face in the photo as it was downward. I fucking loved it. This book was blowing our minds. Pages and pages of Sydney.
“Baby, how did you do this?”
“Gina helped me and told me that she made a book like this for Matt.”
I chilled inside at the thought of another man looking at her naked body without Colin and I around. Once I pushed the bile down, I thought about what it must have taken, mentally, for Sydney to get through it. I knew of the photographer that did Matt’s book, and he was a good friend of Blake’s. At least we knew he was reputable.
“You guys can relax. Blake and I were both there when the photos were taken. Between Gina and Blake and I, we made sure no one pushed her.”
I kept my finger marking the page with the purple rope. As gifts continued to be opened, Colin and I kept looking at the pictures. Now was as good of a time as any for me to give Sydney the little box I had for her.
I reached down for Sydney to take my hand, and I led her over to the tree. I sat down on the floor and pulled her down to sit on my lap while eyeing my present for her under the tree. I placed the ornately wrapped box in her hands and watched as Sydney lowered her head to look at it.
The overly frilly paper and bow with long flowing ribbons wasn’t my style at all. And it was obvious that I had packaged this up myself. I held her small, scarred wrists in my hands as I feverishly searched for the right words.
“I’m not really good at this shit,” I said in that tone which always made her feel at ease. “But you deserve this sunshine, you have earned it.”
I felt the room get still and I knew everyone was watching us. Suddenly I was feeling panicked and felt my heart begin to race.
“I’m not very good at words, Sydney. I’ve been trying to say something to you for many weeks now. No matter how hard I try, I can’t seem to get it right and I choke. So I keep trying and have been writing it out. And it’s so damn important for you to hear it. You need to know that just because I can’t say it right, it doesn’t mean I don’t feel it.”
I knew everyone was listening but I didn’t care. They knew I loved her. Sydney opened the box and covered her mouth. On top was a paper that said “I love you” in green M&Ms. As her eyes focused on the contents she found notes written, mostly scribbled, on various pieces of paper. Napkins with coffee rings marking a moment in time. Even cloth napkins with hints of steak sauce dried in little creases where I had casually wiped my mouth before realizing a moment of needing to express myself. Colin and Matt would have given me such shit over this.
I moved the M&M one out of the way and showed her my attempts at writing little “I love you” notes with my drawings of the sun. I showed her several letters that I had started for her to tell her how much I love her and care about her. There were tons of things in the box to catalog that she’s been in my heart and my head since that fucked up night at her apartment.
The first napkin she pulled out was something I wrote off the cuff while sitting at the clubhouse with Matt and Colin after golf.
Sunshine,
You pull feelings from me that I’d never had before
Fuck…
She began to tremble, like she would when she first started staying with Colin. I placed a finger under her chin, and pointed at the box. She lifted up the first napkin and under it was the second of many. She started to tear up as she read its message:
Sunshine, no tears.
I like seeing you smile
Some were serious. Others were just my thoughts bubbling out as if I were talking to her in person:
Something comes over me when I catch a whiff that fuckin’ vanilla scent you wear.
You left a trail of it in my car the first time I gave you a ride. I know it means something to you, I just haven’t figured it out yet.
Honestly Sunshine,
About the M&M’s
The green ones taste the same. I don’t get it. But I like how you make a big deal out of it.
I feel like a pussy for saying this, but I like when you wrap your hand in my shirt at night like a child with a blanket.
She was in awe. My chest hurt so much I was sure I was going to suffer a heart attack right here. At least Matt was here. I wrapped my arms around her as she continued to flip through everything. I set my chin on her shoulder and pulled all my strength together and took a deep breath.
“I love you, Sydney,” I whispered in her ear though everyone heard. I knew they did and I was glad that they were there.
Sydney set her box down and twisted on my lap. She threw her arms around me and said “Oh, Anthony.”
I held her tightly in my arms and risked looking up at Colin and Matt. Both were smiling and nodding their approvals at me. Matt mouthed “finally.”
Matt ended up giving Colin and I each a framed photo of Sydney. I got a black and white one with Sydney and the purple rope loosely around her body. In purple lettering at the top of the photo it said “ours.” I knew we’d put that in our play room. It’d be perfect in there.
He gave Colin a framed photo of Sydney kneeling in front of a St. Andrew’s Cross that was incredible. Unlike mine, there was no make up or touch ups done on her body. Meaning, many of her cuts and scars were very visible on her back and the bottoms of her feet. It was a naked image just showing her back and feet. The photo was meant to look this way and it was both powerful and moving. In black lettering it said “a Dom’s job is to push, heal, and nurture.”
Sydney was still sitting on my lap when Colin came over to sit by us. The warm fire felt nice on my back.
“Thank you for making this Christmas the best one ever,” she said to Colin and I as I rocked her in my arms.
“You are most welcome, sunshine. Thank you for everything you gave to Colin and I.”
Soon the only gift under the tree was the package that Blake had for Colin and I. I held Sydney in my arms while Colin opened it. Colin pulled out a smal
l notecard and read it aloud.
“Merry Christmas Colin and Anthony. These are all of the remaining photos of Sydney. Don’t worry, they’re all accounted for. Enjoy.”
I flipped through them still in shock that Sydney pulled off this incredible gift. I couldn’t wait to start working with her and the rope. I knew Colin was just as excited over the blindfold. We would take it very, very slow.
It was mid afternoon by the time we finished opening gifts. Gina had gone to take up dinner festivities in the kitchen and Matt went to join her, leaving Colin and I alone with our girl.
46
Thursday, December 26th
Matt
Colin and Anthony had mentioned that Sydney had a couple nightmares last night. Poor girl can’t get a good night’s rest. I’m thinking about talking to Chris about prescribing something low dose for her. It’s definitely taking it’s toll both on her and the guys. She was asleep on the couch when Colin and Anthony went outside to shoot some hoops.
Normally I would have been outside with the guys, but I promised to spend some time with Gina today baking a pie. Baking is therapeutic for her. When she got out of the hospital, she found comfort in occupying her mind with baking. She’s ended up quite good at it, and I reaped the benefits of having tasty baked goods.
While she baked we talked about the upcoming weekend. My parents and brothers were coming to stay with us through New Year’s. Thankfully, everyone got along just fine. I knew my mom was looking forward to seeing Colin, Anthony, and Sydney again. The three of them have come so far since my family last saw them at Thanksgiving.
As Gina was putting the pie in the oven, I heard some mumbling over at the couch. When I glanced over, Sydney looked to be in a nightmare. I sent Gina to get Colin and Anthony and I went over to wake her up.
